sleep with a teddy

3

I will miss you, my lovely pupper.

It’s going to be strange. Walking through the door, and not seeing you greet me with your favourite toy. Not following me around the house. It’s going to be quiet. Too quiet.

I’ll still expect you to do the half-hearted bark you always do, when i sneeze. You never liked that, even if i was allergic to you. Didn’t stop me cuddling you. In the entire time i had you, you only growled at me twice. Once, for accidentally stepping on you when you were behind me. And the other, for stealing your warm spot in front of the fire. You layed on me instead.

It’s going to be hard. You’ve always been about. Even when i left home, and came back. You were there.

Sleep well, Teddy bear.

You were always the goodest of boys.

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.
Move on, leave, run away, escape this place… but don’t forget about me, about us, about this town. Always remember where you come from so you can appreciate how far you’ve come.
—  c.j.n.