slayer handbook

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Vampyr Hardcover Ruled Journal

Publication date: August 08, 2017

  This in-world journal invites fans of Buffy to add their own experiences to the Slayer Handbook. Started for one of the new Potential Slayers and left behind after the Battle at the Hellmouth, this journal includes a section of text copied from the original Slayer Handbook along with illustrations, annotations, and notes from Buffy, Giles, Xander, and Willow. Atmospheric, engrossing, and designed with a dynamic in-universe aesthetic, the blank lined pages of this journal invite readers to add their own story to the legacy of the Slayer.

Illustrations: Scott Buoncristiano; publishing: Insight Editions.

Lies Fanfiction Told Me

1) Spike never calls anyone by their first name. 

[He actually referred to Willow by “Will” twice on the show.]

2) Spike and Xander not being creative enough to come up with new insults/nicknames for other characters. Spike always calls Xander “Whelp” and Tara “Glinda”. Xander always calls Angel “Dead Boy” and Giles “G-man.” 

[Both Spike and Xander are wordsmiths when it comes to nicknames and insults. They don’t repeat themselves.]

3) Xander has a demon xenophobia. 

[If Xander really had an unreasonable fear and hate for demons, he wouldn’t have dated an ex-demon, fought the Initiative, watched cartoons with a demon, felt upset and annoyed at his father insulting the demons at his wedding and more importantly, accepted Tara as part of his family before he knew she wasn’t a demon.] 

4) Joyce accepting Spuffy with open arms. 

[Joyce has nothing against offering Spike a cup of hot chocolate in her kitchen, but Crush shows exactly her real reaction to Spike having feelings for her daughter let alone her daughter dating him. Wasn’t she the one who talked Angel into breaking up with Buffy because he was a vampire?] 

5) Buffy’s real name is Elizabeth and smells of vanilla. 

[Never mentioned in canon.]

6) Xander’s chocolate brown eyes. 

[Nicholas Brendon’s eyes are hazel.] 

7) Xander being sexually abused by his father as a child.

[Emotionally abused? Sure. Physically abused? Probably. Sexually abused? No.]

8) Riley the irredeemable bigot.

[Give the guy a break. He lived his whole life being taught something and then Buffy comes into his life with new ways of thinking and he’s expected to embrace them right away? He proved himself willing to change when he helped save Oz and went against the Initiative. Riley isn’t irredeemable.]

9) The Scoobies kicking Xander out of their group.

[Other than The Zeppo, the Scoobies always welcomed Xander into the gang, even if they thought he brought nothing to the fight, even after all his screw ups, even after his blow ups with Buffy. They want him around because *gasp* they love him.]

10) The Scoobies (more specifically Xander and Willow) controlling Buffy’s life.

[Buffy had friends and didn’t read the Slayer Handbook or the Vampyre book despite the council’s feelings about the subject. Hell, she even fired the council. Buffy dated Angel despite Xander’s feelings about the subject. She saved Dawn despite Giles’ feelings about the subject. She sided with Spike despite Giles and Wood’s feelings about the subject. Buffy runs her own life. The reason she hid her relationship with Spike from everybody was because she was ashamed. Her friends had nothing to do with it. And interestingly enough, none of her friends hated her or even gave her grief for having sex with Spike. Except for Xander, but even Xander came around eventually.] 

The signs as Slayers
  • Aries: that one slayer who just charges head first into a nest of vamps without any plan or backup. Spends a lot of their time thinking up cool one-liners to say when they stake their prey. Gets super pissed when vampires escape, and it puts them in a foul mood all night.
  • Taurus: really fucking dedicated slayer spending all night from dusk to dawn hanging out in graveyards and waiting for demons. Like, they bring a book with them and everything. Legendary with a crossbow, these slayers have perfect aim. The slayer handbook is sacred to them.
  • Gemini: Prefer to go hunting in groups than alone, seeing other slayers as assets. Really good at improvising a stake out of anything, be it a twig, a plank of wood, or even a pencil. Slays with a smile on their face, even when things get ugly.
  • Cancer: spends a lot of time pondering upon and reflecting on past slayers that came before them, trying to learn as much as possible from the mistakes that led to their downfall. Likes to slay in solitude, and often feels a little sorry for vampires, knowing they were human once. Spends a lot of time sharpening stakes.
  • Leo: Doesn't enjoy taking orders from watchers, and will usually defy their advice and make their own plans regarding the fight against evil. Because fuck orders. Adept at swordplay, weirdly attached to their weapons. Quick on their feet. Would chase a vamp for miles. Their favorite weapon to wield is a crucifix necklace, which they wear wherever they go.
  • Virgo: Leaves booby traps in the cemetery for vampires to stumble upon, trapping them until sunrise. It just seems easier, y'know? Will talk ad naseum about their battles as a slayer to friends, exaggerating wherever possible. Often questions where their power comes from and why they were chosen.
  • Libra: really chill Slayer who spends a lot of time training up with their Watcher, who ends up being a good friend. Studies the Slayer handbook religiously. Doesn't like being defined by their role as Slayer, however. Really modest about saving the world from demons; "What? Nah, I didn't save your life. You could've totally of escaped that murderous flesh eating demon by yourself. I was just helping."
  • Scorpio: Master at throwing stakes javelin style at a distance. Often hides and spies on vamps before striking, trying to learn their fighting style before confronting them. Is never shaken by losing a battle, and would always be back kicking ass the next night. Favorite method of slayage? Decapitation. Obviously.
  • Sagittarius: Gets super bored with waiting for vamps to show up, and if there aren't any after half a hour, sometimes they'll just say 'fuck it' and go home. They are however, legendary when it comes to using a crossbow. Not the sort to be fazed by fighting ten vamps at once. Multitasking is an important skill, after all.
  • Capricorn: never goes to stake out a crypt or nest without making a detailed step-by-step plan, with at least two backup plans. After slaying a vamp, they're the sort to walk its almost-victim home and check they're alright the next day. Often feels saddened or hopeless by no matter how many vamps they dust, they still just keep coming.
  • Aquarius: Will often employ bizarre slaying methods just to mix things up a bit, like spiking a vamp's drink with holy water or lighting them up with a cigarette. Great at anticipating a vampire's next move and blocking their punches/dodging. Often dabble in a bit of witchcraft to bolster their slayer skills, because why not?
  • Pisces: Rather than engage in a fight, these slayers tend to creep up on their prey and dust them before they know anything about it. Always paranoid when anyone- even a friend- asks them if they can come into their home. spends a good deal of effort trying to keep their destiny secret from family and friends.

Slayer Handbook. 1975 Edition.

Chapter Fourteen - Prophetic Dreams, Meditation and Spiritual Awareness.

The modern Slayer needs to know more than brute strength and martial prowess. Time and again, the Chosen One must resort to the higher planes to discover hidden truths and lost answers. In this chapter, we shall discuss various methods for leaving your mortal body behind and ascending into other realms.


Footnote: The Slayer need not be naked for proper astral projection to occur, though it is recommended.

Fight demons, research how to close the Hellmouth, AIM chat with Angel, and order new stake wood, all from the comfort of this 21st century Vampyr replica from Buffy the Vampire Slayer!  

Our Tablet, Kindle, and iPad cover ensures you will always have the tools you need to fight evil and mutter in a British accent.  

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