slate at magic

Clean Slate

Title: Clean Slate

Original message: Imagine you and Loki having feelings for one another. You have magic and are a mortal trickster and Loki is not shy about his feelings towards you but one day he receives a head injury knocking him out. You are the first person he sees when he wakes up but the blow to the head has caused him to lose his memory of everything that has happened since before the events of Thor…

Chapter 1: Accident

Author: whitefirethedragon

Rated T

Note/ Warnings: minor cursing

“Cap are you sure you’re Ok with this.” Gwen asked standing across from him. “The better question is, are you ok with this. I don’t want to hurt” Cap responded. “Oh my gosh just come at me” she said taking up a fighting stance.

“What going on?” Tony asked walking onto the balcony overlooking the training room with Thor. “I bet Gwen that she couldn’t take without magic Rogers unless he through the fight.” Barton laughed. “Oh I got to see this” Tony said taking out his phone. “Friday record the fight” Sure thing boss” The AI responded.

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in the glove AU, lapis is slated to perform magic in the school’s talent show. she asked peridot to be her partner because they have roughly the same built/height which is important for her performance. peridot refused ‘…i have stage freight’

‘I’M NOT GOING TO LET MY PERFORMANCE BE RUINED BECAUSE YOU ARE A WEENIE’ then peridot pointed out her fingers and lapis just went ?? ????? why is it floating (lapis…. you should pay more attention to your classmates…)

anyway lapis beat the fuck out peridot after that and got suspended for a few days and never lived the incident down because they study in an elevator school


Seriously though, I really enjoyed this movie, quite a lot in fact.

It’s weird, and bizarre, and has a lot of atmosphere and likability going for it. I think the characters are all great, with La Muerte and Xibalba stealing the show in every scene they are in. The set up is also pretty creative, and it knows how to use the production design to draw the viewer into its world, which also makes the story more engaging. I have never came across a movie that has such a colorful idea about Death.

It’s a really happy counterpart to all the other more depressing movies that come around this time of the year, which I find very welcoming. So I definitely recommend this one, give it a watch if you haven’t already.

And now, if you excuse me, I need to tip-toe my way out of here. I suddenly don’t feel safe at all.


Seriously though, help me!

This movie is even worse than Batman Forever! I know everyone else has said this, and I know this “film” has acquired an unbelievable amount of hate over the years, but it’s earned it. It has earned every single one of the negative reviews it’s received because it’s so rottenly bad that it’s not even funny.

The acting is terrible, the special effects look unfinished, the story is stupid, there’s no chemistry, no pacing, no atmosphere, and the setting is just ludicrous. I can’t believe how bad they could treat Batman and the Dark Knight mythology, but this is a new low. I guess the only good thing to come out of this is that we can’t sink lower than this…right?

And now, if you excuse me, I need an aspirin. And a hug. I haven’t been so sad in quite some time.

Featuring: Pirate Dash as Mr. Freeze (Batman: Arkham City) and Pun Pony as Mr. Freeze (Batman: The Animated Series).


Seriously though, this is a very bizarre, extreme, but still enjoyable movie.

It’s weird to think that a story written by the legendary horror author H.P. Lovecraft could spawn such an exploitative, grind-house, blood fest. This doesn’t make the movie bad, but it does make it an acquired taste. It might not appeal to all the fans of Lovecraft because it bastardizes the original text to make a B-Movie out of it, and it might not appeal to all B-Movie fans because of its highbrow origins.

Fair warning though, it is pretty violent. Okay, scratch that, it’s really violent. It doesn’t save on the gore, shock, horror and disgust departments so those of you with weak stomachs and faint of heart might want to skip this one. If you like horror movies with tons of gore and black humor then this is for you.

I will say this, though. The character of Herbert West is fascinating, and Jeffrey Combs is having a riot playing him. I think any other aspiring scientist could get infected by his personality alone.

And speaking of which, and if you excuse me, I need to take Twilight away from that needle before she hurts herself. Or someone else.


Seriously though, this is a movie that loves not making heads or tails of itself.

It’s weird, it’s wild, it’s unstructured, creative, and once the dream mixes with reality it stops making sense all together despite the best efforts of the (two) protagonist(s), if even it was making any sense to begin with.

That’s why this movie is so good. Satoshi Kon might be one of the few filmmakers that embraces the surreal nature of dreams. The ease with which he plays with the concept and the animation is joyous, and it makes for one Earth-shattering, eye-opening ride of a movie that I think anybody who loves cinema and wants to see its artistic potential should watch.

And now, if you excuse me, I should wake up. I’ve been asleep for I have no idea how long


Seriously though, this is one bizarre yet charming movie.

It’s basically an update on the classic tale of Ebenezer Scrooge, except instead of the protagonist being a money-grabby jerk, he’s a jerk who works for a TV channel (which is a pretty clever update). The ghosts, however, are the ones who steal the show. They are really funny, really quirky and really intimidating respectively, and their designs are so memorable!

The writing, the pacing, the tone, it’s all in check for a movie that balances cynicism and innocence really well. I wasn’t expecting a movie like this to carry on the spirit of the season so much, but it really does. Definitely give this one a shot, you won’t be disappointed.

And now, if you excuse me, I have to avoid a rift from happening between the present and the future. It seems not even time can get along with itself these days.


Seriously though, I don’t get it.

What do you mean “bomb shelter”? What do you want me to do with this? What are you talking about? This isn’t a movie, it’s a…it’s a plant with lights on it, and presents. I mean, thank you so much, it’s a very pretty tree, and it ties the booth well together, but I can’t review this, maybe a botanist will get more out of it than I could.

And now, if you excuse me, I have to get to the real Holiday movies. Let’s get this train a-rolling!


Seriously though, this is one of those movies where everything gets kind of ruined by one very annoying nitpick.

I enjoyed the animation, the creativity, even the way the moral is handled and how it’s presented. Also it feels a lot more mature than many other movies made for grown ups. It doesn’t patronize the audience at all. It’s fantastic to see directors treating animation as a way to tell a story, instead of toning everything down and make it kid friendly.

But, and here’s the problem, the characterization is horrendous. Norman’s fine as our likable hero, Agatha’s okay as our redemptive villain, and some of the other secondary characters range from alright to passable, but everyone else is just awful. Some of the people in this town deserve to die horribly, especially Norman’s Family. They don’t turn around until the end of the movie, and when they do it feels really forced, like it’s the screenplay dictating the emotions instead of the characters.

So, I guess I can recommend this movie for a lot of good reasons, but be ready to hate some of these people so much you’ll be begging for them to fall inside a meat grinder.

And now, if you excuse me, I need to go get a lightning rod. I don’t think this much electricity should go to waste.


Seriously though, this movie is violent.

Like, ludicrously violent.

There not once scene that doesn’t end with someone getting smashed, stabbed, shot, impaled, or even melted! It’s like the outcome of every sequence has to be somebody dying of a horrible, exploitative, messed up way, especially if they are the bad guys.

And it’s to exaggerated that I can’t take it seriously. Really, it becomes cartoony after a while, which is where I start to really enjoy it. Even the acting fits it, with Nicolas Cage being at the helm of the ham wagon delivering a really memorable performance. He’s both funny and likeable, even if his character is a bit of a jerk.

So I guess I can recommend this movie, if only for how entertaining it is, but if you are squeamish with violence give it a pass. This movie takes everything up a notch.

And now, if you excuse me, I need to go treat Maud Pie to a better movie. I feel bad for her, she was expecting some big rocks, but this movie didn’t really deliver.


Seriously though, this movie is quite entertaining.

I don’t really understand much of it, however. To me all the military jargon, and the nature of the conflict, it’s too far out of my reach. I don’t have a really good memory, but I don’t recall any animosity between regions of Equestria similar to what happens between Russia and the United States in this movie, but whatever it was it must have been quite a tense situation to live through.

Still, this film is put together with a lot of passion and it’s quite fun to watch. All the actors deliver a pretty good performance, the music is really memorable, and it’s edited so well that it felt really short (despite it being a two hour long movie). If you’re into submarine movies, don’t miss this one. Everyone else, give it a go, you might find something fun in it that makes the viewing worth it.

And now, if you excuse me, I have to put “No Smoking” signs all over my booth. It stinks of cigar and there’s smoke all over the place. This is the second time this happened!

This week’s update brought to you thanks to: fernindt!


Seriously though, this movie should weird me out, but it really doesn’t.

It has the most bizarre collection of misfits one could imagine, but it doesn’t matter how weird they are because their love for each other is what keeps them together. It’s a good thing that the characters that make the Addams Family are so memorable, likable, and fun to watch, because everything else around them just feels… kind of dull.

The story is unnecessarily complicated, the set ups are not very inspired (except for the school play), the production design is a bit lazy, and all the other characters are absolutely forgettable.

But then again, none of these things stand a chance against the main characters and the actors who play them. All that’s needed is for Raul Julia to raise an eyebrow, Angelica Huston to turn her head, or Christopher Lloyd to smile, and everything else in the scene becomes irrelevant. But that’s good, right? We are here for the Addams Family, and they are all fantastic! So I think I can recommend this movie, if just for the main characters alone.

And now, if you excuse me, I think I’m going to leave these guys alone. It looks like they have it handled.


I think I’m in deep trouble.

As for the movie, I’d say it’s one enjoyable, self-aware, fun ride.

For a straight forward action movie there is a lot of commentary about movie tropes, themes and cliches, and it only makes it more remarkable since this film came out all the way back in 1993, back when this type of movie wasn’t the norm. It’s like Hollywood producing one of those videos made by parody websites, it’s really admirable.

You may notice I’m not giving away anything regarding the movie, and that’s because the less you know about it the more you will enjoy it. Just take this from me: Check it out.

And now, if you excuse me, I think The Grim Reaper just stepped out the movie screen. Nightmare Night begins early this year.


Seriously though, this movie was quite a lot of fun.

If you ignore the fact that the premise is pretty ludicrous (rocket packs, blimps, Nazis, the Hollywood sign exploding) this is a very enjoyable, very entertaining and very likable movie. It has a memorable cast of characters, the acting is great all around (especially Alan Arkin as Peevy), and the setting and atmosphere are superb. It feels like a time capsule of this bizarre golden age of film making where every new movie was greeted with awe and wonder.

It’s not spotless though. Some of the effects haven’t aged all that well, and having the Disney brand those weird animated segments kind of feel like they’ve come out of nowhere, specially those that have the swastika in them. Also the protagonist is a bit bland, but only when he’s not being The Rocketeer.

Overall, give this movie a watch, you won’t regret it!

And now, if you excuse me, I have to stop a filly from making a big mistake, and landing me with a lawsuit in the process…he, he, he, landing, more like crashing, am I right?

This week’s update brought to you thanks to: fernindt!


Seriously though, this movie is, for lack of a better word, outrageous.

I don’t know what I find more insulting: The blatancy of the spank material with the five girls dressed in frilly outfits and always looking sexy; the nonsensical storytelling and messy structure of reality within a dream within a hallucination; the obnoxiously loud soundtrack that made me want to cover my ears more often than not; the protagonists that have a personality smaller than the size of their miniskirts; or the fact that this movie could have been absolutely fantastic was it not plagued with more flaws than frames.

I’ll give it one thing, though. It looks great. It has a lot of memorable visuals, inventive action set pieces, and a lot of personality. But that’s what kills me. This is why I know this movie could have been amazing. It’s like the director only focused on making it look pretty and then disregarded everything else.

So, I’m sad to say this but I can’t recommend this movie. It feels more like a waste than an investment. If you can put up with loud music and exploitative overtones, then be my guest. I won’t be re-watching it anytime soon.

And now, if you excuse me, I need to find the way out of this scenario. And out of this outfit. It’s very itchy.

Featuring: Pearl, Aela, and Pyrite.


Seriously though, what in the wide wild world of Equestria happened last night?

I think I can relate to these guys though, despite how irredeemably unlikeable some of them are. I will be fair though. This movie is pretty brutal, pretty silly, and it does have some of the weirdest characters I have ever seen in a while. It does go too far in many occasions, the rhythm is quite uneven, and when a joke falls flat it really makes an impact the size of Las Vegas.

But, to be honest, I kind of like it for many other reasons. The acting is pretty excellent from everyone involved. The jokes that are effective are very memorable (like the tiger in the room, or anything involving that Mike Tyson guy). All the characters have a proper arc they go through and they come to the end as a tight group of friends. And I actually really like how the movie is structured. It’s like solving a mystery, piecing it together to figure out what happened from one day to the next.

Still, I find it hard to recommend it, but I guess if you are into excessive comedies and have a strong stomach, give it a watch.

And now, if you excuse me, I need to take this Chimera out of my cinema. I have no idea how did it end up in here.

Nova: I tend to spend a lot of time digging through old archives and wandering libraries. Every once in a while I find something that somepony can put to good use. In this case, some old film reels that were gathering dust in the Canterlot archives. I figured my good friend Movie Slate could use them. No idea where they came from, but I’d be interested to see what’s on them!

Clean Slate

Title: Clean Slate

Original message: Imagine you and Loki having feelings for one another. You have magic and are a mortal trickster and Loki is not shy about his feelings towards you but one day he receives a head injury knocking him out. You are the first person he sees when he wakes up but the blow to the head has caused him to lose his memory of everything that has happened since before the events of Thor…

Chapter 2: Confrontation

Author: whitefirethedragon 

Rated T

“Loki!” Gwen screamed. She got to her feet and ran to him ignoring the pain from the scrapes she received from sliding across the pavement. Cars had stopped and a few people had gotten out of their cars to see what had happened. “Please be Ok. Please be Ok.” Gwen begged as she got to him. She put her ear to his chest. *Thump Thump* She sighed in relief at the sound of his heartbeat. Gwen began to use the healing spell she had learned earlier that day to close the cut on Loki’s temple. “We got to get this guy out of the street” a random stranger said. “What are you crazy. The guy could have brain damage we can’t move him till the medics get here” said another. “He’s blocking traffic said yet another who began to reach for him. “Don’t you dare touch him” Gwen almost growled at the man. Her eyes glowed with power and the man backed off.

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