slanted eye

Okay, but like we have the stereotypical aliens as bland, tiny grey-skinned things with large, slanted, pupiless eyes… but what if that’s just their version of a hazmat suit?

Like… if humans were in contact with aliens, they’d make them wear something protective… right?

They might look completely different underneath?

Rising Sign/Ascendant Describtions

In this post, I will try my best to be as precise & informative as possible. This actually works if at least ¾ of the description fits a person. Try this out! 

ARIES RISING:

Behaviour: activity, initiative, striving forward; a confident, dynamic even aggressive look, but sometimes a quite naive one

Physical Characteristics: diamond shaped face; rather wavy, chestnut brown hair; big eyes with bushy arched brows; usually a straight but droopy nose; thin or medium lips; small chin; very athletic; men often have granular skin on their face; blush; scars or marks on the head. 

Celebrities with Aries Rising: Rihanna, Shakira, John Lennon, Heath Ledger, Che Guevara, Penélope Cruz, Kendall Jenner, Morgan Freeman, Bill Cosby

Originally posted by lamirada-del-amor

TAURUS RISING: 

Behaviour: serenity, good manners, charm; a soft, friendly look

Physical Characteristics: square shaped face; thick, straight, rather dark hair; natural, gradual eyebrows, big beautiful eyes with long lashes; full lips; often an upturned button nose; a short and thick neck, hunched shoulders; tendency to corpulence; women usually have large breasts and hips. 

Celebrities with Taurus Rising: Martin Luther King, Lana Del Rey, Mariah Carey, Halle Berry, David Beckham, Dave Gahan, Taylor Lautner, Zinedine Zidane, Snoop Dogg, Michael Schumacher, Cate Blanchett, Serena Williams

Originally posted by cute-guysxx

GEMINI RISING:

Behaviour: restlessness, multitasking; fast and permanent movements; countless contact with people, enthusiastic, charming, sociable with strangers,

Physical Characteristics: Oval face; thinning, sparse hair; rather small, close-set, squinty eyes, thin eyebrows; a direct, open, interested look; a straight middle long nose; slim & thin, rather short; usually look younger than they actually are

Celebrities with Gemini Rising: Lady GaGa, Amy Winehouse, Kristen Stewart, Sandra Bullock, Mick Jagger, Ashton Kutcher, Michelle Pfeiffer, Charlie Sheen, Matthew McConaughey, Ricky Martin, Tim Burton, LeBron James, Julianne Moore, Jackie Chan, Ben Stiller, Amy Adams

Originally posted by pepperjunkiereacts

CANCER RISING:

Behaviour: quite talkative when it comes to someone’s problems, moodiness, somnolence, stubbornness, sensitivity, compassion; slow moves

Physical Characteristics: round face but cheekbones, quite pale; big, watery eyes, a naive, confused look; a small, upturned or even snub nose; a quite weak chin; full lips; often plump, small hands and feet, for women: rather big, well-formed breasts

Celebrities with Cancer Rising: Angelina Jolie, Cameron Diaz, Julia Roberts, Bill Gates, Kanye West, Juliette Binoche, Robert Pattinson, Ben Affleck, Robert De Niro, Mel Gibson, Tyra Banks, Mila Jovovich, Cindy Crawford, Romy Schneider, Michael Jordan, John Travolta, William Shakespeare, George Michael, Liv Tyler, Gary Oldman, Michael Phelps, Amy Lee

Originally posted by agizasikmalicikolata

LEO RISING:

Behaviour:  brightness, cheerfulness, confidence; high self-esteem; expressive manners

Physical Characteristics: mane of hair, usually ginger, auburn copper, if dark: premature greying, for men: premature alopecia; big, a little slanting, beautiful eyes, a friendly, playful look; Roman or Grecian Nose; massive upper body, muscular, broad shoulders but thin legs, large bones; confident, proud port

Celebrities with Leo Rising: Marilyn Monroe, Johnny Depp, Justin Timberlake, Selena Gomez, Al Pacino, Freddie Mercury, Celine Dion, Chris Brown, Robbie Williams, Jessica Alba, Meryl Streep, Drake, Pablo Picasso, Jack Nicholson, Will Smith, Marilyn Manson, George W. Bush, Katie Holmes, Kylie Minogue, Heidi Klum, Tina Turner, Jake Gyllenhaal, Robery Downey Jr, Adam Levine, Kate Moss, Muhammad Ali, Emma Stone, Sting, Eva Green

Originally posted by canadaloveselena

VIRGO RISING:

Behaviour: measured moves; a soft, melodic voice; cleanliness, discipline; classic dressing style

Physical Characteristics: large oval face, pale skin, especially unremarkable lineament, since all the features are proportional; rather hooded eyes; full lips; often small birthmarks around the nose/lips

Celebrities with Virgo Rising: Madonna, Nicolas Sarkozy, Keanu Reeves, Kurt Cobain, Sharon Stone, Uma Thurman, Steve Jobs, Emma Watson, Jay-Z, Bruce Willis, Charlize Theron, Tom Hanks, Nicole Scherzinger, Audrey Tautou, Roger Federer, Ryan Reynolds, Woody Allen, Chris Martin, Hugh Grant, Winston Churchill, Patrick Swayze, Kevin Costner, Leonard Cohen, Tiger Woods

Originally posted by cicatriz-exp

LIBRA RISING:

Behaviour: grace and beauty, dislike fraternising, prefer to stay distant,  diplomatic flair and perfectly able to engage the public; tact and delicacy, softness; elegance, dressed neatly

Physical Characteristics: a heart-shaped face, beautiful almond eyes but a cold and distant look; a smile that might seem forced, usually ash/honey brown hair; a slim button nose, dimples; a weak chest, narrow shoulders.

Celebrities with Libra Rising: Leonardo DiCaprio, Beyoncé, Jennifer Aniston, John F. Kennedy, Catherine - Duchess of Cambridge, Bill Clinton, Alain Delon, Jared Leto, Kate Winslet, Benedict Cumberbatch, George Harrison, Harrison Ford, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Frank Sinatra, Yoko Ono

Originally posted by yes-dicaprio

SCORPIO RISING:

Behaviour: personal magnetism, attractiveness, excessive seriousness, deep, raucous voice; unemotional, cold

Physical Characteristics: diamond shaped face, usually a dark, curly hair; close thick brows; rather small, squinty eyes, sneak-like, icy, piercing look; long, hooked nose; thin lips; big chin; men usually have a beard and longer hair; athletic body

Celebrities with Scorpio Rising: Nicole Kidman, Hillary Clinton, Katy Perry, Natalie Portman, Vladimir Putin, Justin Bieber, Tom Cruise, Napoleon I, Prince, Vanessa Paradis,  Charlie Chaplin, Robin Williams, Bjork, Jim Carrey, Sigmund Freud, Clint Eastwood, Edward Norton, Rafael Nadal, James Franco, Ludwig van Beethoven, Enrique Iglesias, Eva Longoria, Mike Tyson, Rachel McAdams, Michael Douglas, Margaret Thatcher, Claudia Schiffer, Vin Diesel, Lewis Hamilton, Jimmy Page

Originally posted by ofallingstar

SAGITTARIUS RISING:

Behaviour: Optimism, sense of humour, kindness, enjoy their authority

Physical Characteristics : long, square-shaped face, high forehead (early alopecia for men); thick, bushy eyebrows; a confident, almost arrogant look; very tall, often plump; large, bony hands

Celebrities with Sagittarius Rising: Brad Pitt, Jodie Foster, Scarlett Johansson,  Diana - Princess of Wales, Elvis Presley, Kim Kardashian, Eminem, Brigitte Bardot, Leonardo DaVinci, Oprah Winfrey, Paris Hilton, Jennifer Lawrence, Bruce Lee, Marlon Brando, Elizabeth Taylor, Jimi Hendrix, Jude Law, Bob Marley, Mila Kunis, Nelson Mandela, Sylvester Stallone, Ellen DeGeneres, Alicia Keys, Angela Merkel, Bob Dylan, Bradley Cooper, Nicolas Cage, Winona Ryder, Coco Chanel, Michael Fassbender, Elton John

Originally posted by takingcare-of-business

CAPRICORN RISING:

Behaviour: grouchiness, seriousness, overconcern; usually look older while they’re young and extremely young at older age; calm and restrained

Physical Characteristics: very sharp-cut features, many wrinkles; short stature; big, dark, deep-set eyes, thick but short eyebrows; high forehead, a long nose, a sharp chin; the look is direct and stubborn; earth colours: tanned skin tone, dark hair; thick bones

Celebrities with Capricorn Rising: Monica Belucci, Taylor Swift, Megan Fox, Cristiano Ronaldo, Ariana Grande, Giselle Bundchen, Gwen Stefani, Sean Connery,  Prince Harry of Wales, Bono, Zac Efron, Naomi Campbell, Kylie Jenner, Sophie Loren, Zooey Deschanel, Novak Djokovic, Anthony Hopkins, Lenny Kravitz,  Lorde, Carrie Fisher, Chuck Norris

Originally posted by voulair

AQUARIUS RISING:

Behaviour: friendly, open to new ideas, but intolerant of other people’s shortcomings and overly sarcastic; look & dress very unusually, like to play the clown; eccentricity and freedom in every movement; ever-young; provocative, but confused & innocent at the same time

Physical Characteristics: excessive growth, very thin; squinty, upturned, darting, blurred eyes; long fingers; thin lips

Celebrities with Aquarius Rising: Barack Obama, Cristina Aquilera, David Bowie, Jim Morrison, Russell Crowe, Nicki Minaj, Orlando Bloom, Audrey Hepburn, Adele, Matt Damon, J.K. Rowling, Abraham Lincoln, Lionel Messi, Ian Somerhalder,  Janis Joplin, Ayrton Senna, Oscar Pistorius, Yves Saint-Laurant, Whoopi Goldberg

Originally posted by pinkustation

PISCES RISING:

Behaviour: daydreaming, shows good towards others; mystic, self-oriented and tired look, kind but a little shy

Physical Characteristics : a round face; thick, shiny, dark hair; long straight nose; bright almond, extremely beautiful eyes; pale and with eye circles; small hands and feet

Celebrities with Pisces Rising: Michael Jackson, Demi Moore, George Clooney, Ryan Gosling, Whitney Houston, Paul McCartney, Zayn Malik, Gwyneth Paltrow, Adriana Lima, Demi Lovato, Antonio Banderas, Vanessa Hudgens, Johnny Cash, Kaley Cuoco, Andrew Garfield, Ellen Pompeo

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

10

…and I saw [her] looking at me with [her] slightly slanted eyes, steady, clear, large and deep. I did not realize it then, nor the next day, but I was already [hers] …
                                                         “The Wild Beast”·Cesare Pavese

Sleepless

Summary: You and Sam both have insomnia, so you find a way to entertain yourselves.

Warning: smut

Word Count: 1550

A/N: It’s been a while since I wrote Sam x reader. Hope you enjoy! XOXO


12:36 AM

Insomnia does weird things to a person.

Under no other circumstances would you be sitting in the library of the bunker, reading about the weaponry forged in fourteenth century Japan to combat a monster that was essentially an ocean-dwelling werewolf.

Yeah. Can’t make this shit up.

Keep reading

2

hey so i finally made a parasona!!! his name is maxim and he’s a medium to that asshole galaxy cat u see there, and basically he can do cat things and stuff??? like see in the dark n climb shit stuff like that

his (currently unnamed) spirit uses they/them btw

anonymous asked:

I'm trying to draw the YOI characters in my style. What's your take on the non-Asian male ice skater's eyeshapes? (Out of the Asian characters, Otabek probably has the narrowest eyes)

That’s an interesting question! Before I figured out the style I prefer to draw in, I tend to try to draw as close to the source material as possible. But if you look at enough references, you’ll be able to deconstruct how certain artists draw certain things! YOI style is distinct enough for me to recognize it. 

What I observed when I started drawing fanart for YOI was how Kubo-sensei drew eyes. So I followed that! 

The main character design however, is by Tadashi Hiramatsu (Hiramatsu-san!) and they follow this collaborative guide on how to draw the characters for the show. That’s how the characters would stay and look the same even though several different people are drawing them for the entire series.

I’ll trace over the eyes and then draw how I draw eyes and then show the basic hexagon shape (red).

For most of them, she goes for distinct half hexagon shapes for eyes. There’s a certain way she does this, and when you notice it you’ll see mostly the same eyes for most characters!

Victor’s are expressive coz because they’re bigger towards one side and slants down towards the ears. But Yuuri’s eyes are much more expressive because they have a rounder shape.

She follows a basic hexagon shape for everyone but it differs per character depending on their personality! For Yurio his eyes slant upward towards the ears (also because he’s always looking down lol) while Leo’s eyes droop downwards. Also take note of the double eyelid!

Chris’s eye shape is like Victor’s but rounder like Yuuri’s. The eyelashes distinguish his eyes from the others. JJ’s eyes are very boxy and it’s very noticeable since everything re: his facial features is big. It’s like a box that’s slanted downwards! And Emil’s is like Yuuri’s but with less eyelid, and rounder towards the middle :D

These two are actually my favorite because the hexagon shape isn’t followed as much but they have the Stereotypical Ikemen Eyes. I couldn’t find a decent screenshot of Michele’s L’Homme Arme program, his eyes were sharper there than Serenade for Two (or when he’s emotional lol) his default eyes are sharp, straight (lol), and masculine. While Georgi’s are the opposite, although they actually share shapes! The bottom of Georgi’s eyes are more of slanted upwards towards the ears, while the top curves downwards (like Victor’s eyes, but not as round). I love his eyelashes too, just saying. I rly love how they drew Georgi especially in Tale of the Sleeping Prince (when he was looking up!!!)

I hope that helped!!! 


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Humans are weird / Humans are Space Orc’s

So I’ve been reading a lot of the Humans-Are-Space-Orcs posts and one I didn’t see on there, but I thought was funny was about Humans interacting with infants. Specifically, the way we talk to entertain them.

This is my first post about HASO / HAW so please excuse the terrible alien names, I’m making this up as I go.

Keep reading

the-fire-master  asked:

Could you possibly do a Nalu photographer shoot AU? Natsu being the Model and Lucy being the photographer. Thank you!!

He’s A Natural

Pairing: Nalu

Word count: 1397

A/N: Have some Scottish Natsu! And Canadian Lucy, but that’s more from me using my own euphemisms lmao. This could get so much longer, and maybe ‘ll continue it when I’m not swamped! So model Natsu is always a fun thing, and tbh hot damn. 

“It won’t be hard, they said.

“You seem so much more comfortable behind the camera, they said.

“Just one photo shoot, they said.”

Lucy grumbled to herself, pacing in the space set aside for breaks. The white tent was partially open, but it still managed to hide her from the source of her spiking anxiety. The very attractive, very pink, and very naked source.

“Do a natural outdoor scene, they said. It’ll be fun, they said.”

“Are you done talking to yourself or do you need another five?” Lucy sighed loudly, glaring at Loke’s head where he peeked around the corner of her sanctuary. “Seriously, the poor guy’s gonna freeze his dick off.”

“Then maybe he should put on some pants.” Lucy snapped, slumping into a chair and burying her face in her hands. She didn’t know why he was affecting her like this. Not only had Lucy worked with gorgeous models before, but she had also seen them naked! In her bed! Genitals did not faze her normally, so why was she losing her shit?

“You ready, Drama Queen?” Loke asked. Lucy pouted, accepting his hand and looking up at him. 

“Fine, but if anyone’s going to be taking him home it’s me, got it?” Lucy said sharply. Loke cackled, throwing his head back. He raked his hand through his wild, ginger hair as he grinned down at her fondly. Lucy liked to tell him it looked like a lion’s mane after she had had one too many drinks.   

“Whatever you say princess,” Loke purred, hooking his arm through Lucy’s and leading her back out to the meadow they were shooting in. “But first you have to talk to him. Maybe learn his name.”

“Shut up,” Lucy grumbled, leaning her head on his shoulder. 

“Thought I scared ya off,” the model joked as they approached, scratching the back of his head bashfully, towel wrapped around his waist. A very, very small towel, fluffy and white, which only made his deep tan stand out more. Who knew pink hair and brown skin went together so well. Or that Lucy had a thing for Scottish accents. 

“What’s your name?” Lucy asked, loudly and suddenly. She felt her face flush hot when the model cocked his head at her, confused smile pulling his lips at her outburst. God, please let a random tree just crush her now.

“It’s Natsu,” he said, holding out his hand. Lucy took it, swallowing around her dry mouth at how big his was compared to hers. And she knew what they said about big hands and big feet…

Lucy yelped when something sharp dug into her side, pouting up at Loke before realizing why he had to shove his bony joint into her ribs in the first place. Her eyes snapped to Natsu’s, deep green almost black and sparkling with impish joy. He knew. And he knew she knew. And she knew he knew she knew. And Lucy was really praying for that stray tree right about now. 

“Lucy. My name- uh, my name is Lucy.” She managed out, blushing deeper at his amused and teasing smile. Oh, he had freckles. Wonderful.

“You can let go of his hand now,” Loke said, grinning down at Lucy smugly. 

“Maybe I like holding his hand,” Lucy retorted, glaring up at her friend. 

“He likes holdin’ your hand too,” Natsu said. He winked at Lucy’s squeak, deep laugh shaking his chest as she dropped his hand. 

“Alright! Either we start now or you’re all walking home!” Gajeel boomed. Lucy rolled her eyes at their equipment manager, ignoring his threat. He’d only followed through with it a couple times. Everyone wandered off to their positions, Lucy fetching her camera and fiddling with it as she kept her back to Natsu. She could do this. Be professional. Don’t take a picture of his dick. All things that Lucy could do. 

Lucy turned around, and marched herself to stand in front of Natsu. Who had lost the towel, and was standing legs spread and unashamed, basking in all his Scottish glory. 

“Do you dye your pubes?” Lucy squeaked, hand slapping over her mouth in horror. She was fired. This was it, her first time as the photographer  and she had blow it oh God Jason was going to kill her and then fire her-

“Ain’t ya a spit fire?” Natsu cackled, easy as he smiled at Lucy. “And I do no’ dye anything. All natural ‘ere.” 

“Oh,” Lucy breathed, some of the awkwardness melting off her at Natsu’s openess. 

“And before ye ask, I’m a grower, not a shower.”

Ahh, there was the mortification. 

“You don’t have to be crude!” Lucy gasped, smiling as she tried turn her face away from him. 

“Ain’t I ‘posed to be the shy one?” Natsu called. Lucy laughed, rolling her eyes before sticking her tongue out at Natsu. They continued to bicker as Lucy directed him this way and that, trying to find the best angle before snapping a photo. Honestly, all of his angles were good, what with his strong cheek bones and slightly pointed chin giving him a playful and boyish handsomeness, slanted eyes bright and framed with thick lashes, nose a little crooked at the bridge but still broad at the tip. And then there were the freckles scattered across his face, like little deep brown constellations. 

“Close your eyes and tilt your chin up. No, not that much. Okay more. Less. Natsu now you’re just doing this on purpose!” Lucy laughed, slightly exasperated by his exaggerated movements. She snapped a picture of his profile, eyes closed and tilted towards the sun, grin pulling the corner of his mouth up, the image on the camera looking as if he was a woodland imp who knew a secret and you didn’t. 

“So bossy,” Natsu teased, opening his eye and looking at Lucy from the corner of it. Lucy snapped another photo, breath catching as she looked down at the screen. 

There sat a picture of Natsu, seductive as he looked at the camera, gaze sharp like a wolf and just as hypnotic. Lucy’s mind shot down to dirty, dirty, places the longer she looked at it. 

“Oh, that’s a good one, ain’t it,” Natsu said, leaning over her shoulder. Lucy squealed, clutching the camera to her chest protectively. Lucy flushed when his eyes followed her motion, lingering a few seconds too long on her cleavage to be innocent. He coughed, eyes flicking away as pink coloured his ears. 

“You two can fuck later, let’s just get a move on to the body shots!” Gajeel called, ripping Lucy from her stupor. She threw her middle finger up at him, glaring when he waved her off and walked away, probably to harass the interns. 

“Ignore him,” Lucy smiled at Natsu apologetically. “His girlfriend’s away for a month and he gets a bit crabby when he doesn’t get laid.”

Natsu’s nose twisted in a grimace even as a low chuckle fell from his lips. “He’s me cousin, I don’ think I need’a know ‘bout his sex life.” he chuckled. His grin grew warmer at Lucy’s shocked expression, arms lifting and crossing behind his head as he continued to talk. “He’s the reason I got the job. It’s me first time modelin’, but I needed the pay, so ‘ere I am.”

“Well you’re a natural at it,” Lucy assured. She could hardly believe this was the first time he had modeled, the camera adored him. 

“Thank ya,” Natsu grinned. Lucy returned it, having to tilt her head up a bit to look at him, standing as close as they were to one another. 

“Seriously, make yer bedroom eyes at each other when we’re not on the job!”

“Piss off ya walkin’ pin cushion!”

Lucy laughed, half hiding her face as she shook her head. Natsu beamed down at her, sharp canine revealed by the curl of his lips. She shooed him further back, taking in a deep breath. Looking at Natsu fully, standing buck-ass naked in the middle of a spring meadow just starting to bloom, Lucy couldn’t help but bite her lip. God, she had no idea what he did for a job, but Lucy was leaning towards boxer if the grooves of his muscles on his chest and abs were any indication. Not to mention his thighs… or his forearms…

She was definitely going to take Natsu home. Or at least out for drinks. 

She needed to know the dirt Natsu had on Gajeel from when they were kids. And just how much of a grower the pink haired model really was. 

Title: All These Flashing Lights

Pairing: NaLu

AU:are requests really open….NaLu for this prompt???? because it fits them so well??? idk??? “my friend thought you were cute so she tried to take a picture of you for snapchat and her flash went off but when you looked our way she shoved her phone into my hands and nOW YOU THINK IT’S ME AND OH GOD PLS DON’T BE MAD”

Word Count: 1930

Rating: T for langue and suggestive material towards the end


“He’s hot,” Cana repeats for what must be the sixth time in the span of five minutes, the brunette practically purring as she eyes the attractive man across the café. She’s blatantly staring and Lucy is fairly certain that if she keeps it up they’re either going to be noticed by the attractive man across the room or thrown out by Mira because is being a fucking creep.

Lucy just wanted to hang out with her friend on her one day off in the last two weeks, not freak the fuck out of some guy she doesn’t know because Cana has no idea how to behave in public.

She sighs, dropping her chin to rest against her palm and pretending to be thoroughly engrossed in her slushy. Strawberry lemonade has always been a favorite of hers and Cana is ruining the sanctity of frozen fruit beverages. Lucy casually glances at the man in question, eyes widening slightly in horror when she catches sight of his arm. “If you’re referring to the fact that his sleeve is on fire,” she says slowly, “than I’d be inclined to agree.”

The man pats out the small flame quickly, laughing as he turns back to his friend across the table, and Lucy takes a long moment to just look at him. Her head tilts to the side, eyes narrowing slightly in thought. He looks like some kind of punk-rock model, if she’s being honest with herself. The flash of silver piercings in his ear gains her rapt attention, and she has to bit her lower lip when she sees the hoop through the bottom right corner of his lip. His bright, bubble-gum pink hair is shocking, but not necessarily unpleasant. And Lucy is pretty sure cheekbones like that can only be carved from marble.

Yeah, the dude is freakishly hot, but Lucy has the decency not to weird about it.

“Oh, come on, Lucy!” Cana whines, shoving at her shoulder roughly and making Lucy nearly drop her slushy. “Look at that face! Those arms!” Too late, Cana, Lucy already is and she very much appreciates the way his tank-top leaves his arms bare and clings to his chest just right.

Fuck, now Lucy’s being creepy, too.

Lucy looks away before Cana or the attractive stranger can notice her obvious interest in the way his shirt stretches across his broad chest. “You know,” Lucy muses, pointing at Cana with the end of her straw before popping the tube into her mouth and sucking off the ice and juice clinging to the bottom. “You’re kind of being creepy.”

Cana is silent for exactly eight seconds, her eyes narrowed as she considers Lucy’s words.

“I’m going to take a picture of him.”

Keep reading

The Assistant Part 1

Hello lovies! So first off I’d like to start off by saying this isn’t the usual kind of assistant imagine; in this one, Harry is the assistant! Also, I’m giving the girl a name in this one just because it’s a longer one and it makes sense to have a name to refer to! You can change the name if you’d like, or not. All up to you! Also, this is going to be split into 2 parts because there’s… a lot. There will be smut in both parts!

Warnings: Smut & Language & alcohol(?)

Word Count: 4,610

“Sorry is not enough, Amy. Do you understand what you may have just done? I have overlooked your silly, incompetent mistakes for months now because they could easily be fixed, but this, my dear, is messing with my company’s revenue. The money we make to keep everyone here, including you, employed,” her voice was laced with fury as she spoke slowly, the quietness of her voice only making her seem more intimidating as she leaned over Amy’s desk, placing her hands on either side of the unopened laptop in front of Amy.

As per usual, Harry’s gaze wandered over the curve of her ass and he couldn’t help but wonder how firm it would feel under his hands, but the thought of his large hand splayed over it caused him to clear his throat and focus on the pug mug Amy had settled on her desk to clear his mind of any improper thoughts. She was his boss, for crying out loud, but he couldn’t deny that over the past 6 months he’d been working for Whimsy, he had tugged one out to the thought of her an embarrassing amount of times. He figured tonight would be another one of those nights, because the sight of her bent over a desk, angry, was something that never failed to work him up.

 By the time Harry had snapped back to attention, Amy was almost crying and Whimsy was, as expected, fuming, which was Harry’s cue to step in.

OR Whimsy’s new assistant Harry is a wonderful addition to both the company, and Whimsy’s life.


Whimsy’s eyes fell upon the tall and well-built boy who was sat in the waiting room of her works building, just waiting for him to be called into her office. Her eyebrows immediately shot up as she continued to scan him as he relaxed back in his chair, his large hand currently swallowing up the small phone in it. While he was going to be her new assistant, this was her first time seeing him; her former assistant, Huntlea, had interviewed him and had the final decision on who she felt fit the company best. Huntlea had gotten pregnant with her 2nd child, and her husband and her both agreed they would rather raise their children outside of the city, causing them to move 4 hours away from Whimsy’s office in New York City, therefore creating the need for a new assistant.

“Harry Styles?” She announced, her voice strong as she stood tall at the entryway, her black stilettos causing her to stand at a good 5’10, her usual height being around 5’5.

Whimsy was young, and she was a spit fire who ran her business with an iron fist but who also sympathized with her employees when it was necessary. At the young age of 20, she was thrust into the position of CEO of Smith’s Marketing Company after her grandmother had died, leaving the business to her. It wasn’t a surprise to anyone that the business was going to be left to her, but it was a surprise at how soon it had happened, but she accepted it with grace and poise. She was now 22, and the business was doing better than anyone had ever expected under her new ownership.

Harry stood up from his seat quickly and his eyes landed on her and he instantly did a double take, his heart rate picking up as he scanned her over. She was gorgeous, and the tight black pencil skirt that was currently hugging her ass perfectly was making it hard not to ogle at the young woman standing before him as he approached her, his hand outstretched.

“It’s lovely to meet you, Miss. Smith,” his handshake was firm, as was hers, both letting it linger longer than a normal handshake would before pulling away.

“And you as well, Mr. Styles. Please follow me into my office,” she promptly turned on her heels and began leading the way to her office that was at the end of the hall, Harry’s eyes shamelessly watching the way her hips moved in her skirt as he trailed behind her.

They entered the large office and Whimsy made her way behind the deck, taking a seat in her cozy chair as she gestured for Harry to sit on the couch that was placed in front of her.

“First we’ll start by discussing salary, which I’m sure Huntlea touched on just a bit but there have been a few changes,” she grabbed a packet of paper and flipped through it, quickly reaching the salary pay and sliding it across the desk with a pen, “Due to your qualifications, I’ve decided to up your salary a bit, so instead of the 40k a year Huntlea and you discussed, you’ve been jumped to 55k. Every six months you will be rewarded a salary raise based on your performance. We never cut salaries here; if you aren’t doing a satisfactory job, you get fired.” Harry nodded as she spoke, his eyes scanning over the paper before quickly signing it and sliding it her way.

“Thank you, Mrs. Smith. For the salary raise, and for the opportunity to be your assistant,” he sent her a calm smile as he sat up straight on the couch, his eyes watching her lips quirked up on a soft smile.

“You’re very welcome, Mr. Styles. Now, as for the job, don’t expect it to be like normal assistants. I don’t expect you to fetch my lunch or my coffee or any of that; the second you accepted this job, you became as important to this company as I am. You’ll be helping me talk to big clients, making big deals, and in general keeping me organized. Do not be afraid to speak up; I want your opinions, and I want to know if you think something I’m doing isn’t a good idea, I won’t be offended,” Harry nodded along as she spoke, his green eyes staying on hers, holding confidence, and what was soon turning into fondness as she continued to speak.

“Now,” she continued, sitting up straighter in her chair as she placed her hands on her desk intertwining his fingers, “I’m young, Mr. Styles. I’m sure you know this. In fact, you’re a year older than me, but that does not mean I am a push over. I am not just some rich snob who was handed everything; yes, my grandmother gave me her business, but she had two other grandchildren to choose from, and she chose me, the youngest, for a reason. Do not cross me. Do not try and betray me; I’ve already had one assistant try that, and now there is no company in New York City who will hire her. Do not try to take advantage of my age, because you will not like the outcome; do you understand?” Harry’s eyes were wide as she spoke, his palms beginning to sweat; he had no intention of do anything but his job, but hearing her speak with such confidence was intriguing.

“I understand. Wouldn’t dream of doing anything other than my job,” he replied back, and Whimsy only nodded in response.

“Huntlea chose you for a reason, so I do hope you live up to both of our expectations.”


Harry had exceeded everyone’s expectations.

After being at the company for only six months, it had become clear that not only was he what was best for the company, he was also what was best at keeping Whimsy sane. Harry was nothing short of the model employee; getting his work done, helping Whimsy with hers, and remaining professional, unless, of course, Whimsy and him were alone. Harry quickly learned that both got along well not only as coworkers, but as friends, and when it was just the two of them, Whimsy had no problem with them acting like it. In fact, Harry was the only person in the office who was ever allowed to use her first name, but of course when no one else was around. To everyone in the office, she was Miss. Smith the CEO, and he was Mr. Styles the assistant, but between them they were quickly becoming best friends.

Whimsy’s eyes were slanted into a hard glare as she looked at the screen of her laptop, the email she was currently reading causing her blood to boil as she went over every word; one of her employees had made an amateur mistake, but it was an amateur mistake that if not fixed immediately, would cost them 100k.

“V’ got the coffee, love…” Harry stormed into Whimsy’s office, kicking the door shut behind him but quickly stopping in his tracks as he saw the look on Whimsy’s face; she was pissed, to say the least. He knew he hadn’t done anything wrong, but he was worried for the person who was about to be on the receiving end of her wrath. In the six months he’d been working with her, he had seen her lose it on two employees (who were promptly fired) and he had felt like crying when she was done with them each time, even though he had been sat on the other side of the room each time.

Whimsy lifted her gaze from the laptop screen up to Harry, her eyes softening as she saw him standing in the middle of her office with coffee in his hand and an unsure smile on his face.
“Told you for the past six months you don’t have to grab my coffee, but thank you,” she said, sending him a tight smile as he approached her and handed her the coffee.

“Go to get myself coffee, pet. Would feel like a proper dick if I showed up without anything for you,” he walked up behind her, his hands landing on her tense shoulders as he looked over her head, reading the email that was the cause for her deathly glare as he had walked in.

The feeling of Harry’s hands on her shoulders instantly caused the tension running throughout Whimsy to dissipate as she relaxed back into his touch, her eyes closing as she focused on her deep breathing.

“Do ya wan’ me to take care o’ this, love?” The pet names rolled off his tongue easily when it came to her, and he often found himself struggling to keep them in when others were around. The first time he had referred to her as “love,” they had been working late in the office one night, surrounded by Chinese takeout as Whimsy was about to have a full-on breakdown. He wasn’t thinking about it as it rolled out of his mouth as he pushed the Chinese away from her and tried to calm her down, but she didn’t snap at him or scold him for it being unprofessional, so he kept saying it. Soon, he could notice a small twinkle in her eyes whenever he used one of the many pet names he had for her, so he decided to keep using them.

“No,” she shook her head, letting out an exasperated sigh, “This isn’t the first time she’s messed up, but it’s the first time it might affect our revenue. Need to get her to fix it, and I need it to be fixed now,” she shrugged his hands off her shoulder and he took that as his cue to step back, knowing she would be standing up soon, ready to confront the coworker in question.

She was always wearing those god damn tight skirts, which was the first thing he noticed as she pushed back from her chair and stood, tossing her long, wavy ponytail over her shoulder and straitening said skirt out.


The entire floor went quiet the second Whimsy and Harry stepped out of the elevator, everyone’s eyes watching Whimsy as she made her way across the room. It wasn’t hard for the office to gauge when Whimsy was angry; instead of stepping onto the floor with a smile on her face and greeting every employee she made eye contact with, she was dead silent and walked with a purpose. Her stilettos echoed through the silence as she approached Amy’s desk, Harry trailing behind her with his hands shoved into his suit pant pockets.  

“Amy,” Whimsy’s voice was calm as she spoke, but if eyes could reflect fire, hers would currently be up in flames.

Amy caught Harry’s gaze first before she flickered her eyes over to Whimsy; she knew exactly what she had done, she had gotten an email the second she sat down in her office chair.

“I’m so sorry, Miss. Smith; I got the email this morning and I am doing my best to try and fix it,” Amy rushed, her eyes pleading with Harry as she spoke; the office knew Harry was the only one who could calm Whimsy down, but Harry only raised an eyebrow at Amy as he leaned against the wall near her desk, crossing his arms as he slowly chewed on the mint gum in his mouth, a slight smirk playing on his lips as he waited for Whimsy to speak. Costing the company money was serious, and he wasn’t planning on intervening.

“Sorry is not enough, Amy. Do you understand what you may have just done? I have overlooked your silly, incompetent mistakes for months now because they could easily be fixed, but this, my dear, is messing with my company’s revenue. The money we make to keep everyone here, including you, employed,” her voice was laced with fury as she spoke slowly, the quietness of her voice only making her seem more intimidating as she leaned over Amy’s desk, placing her hands on either side of the unopened laptop in front of Amy.

As per usual, Harry’s gaze wandered over the curve of her ass and he couldn’t help but wonder how firm it would feel under his hands, but the thought of his large hand splayed over it caused him to clear his throat and focus on the pug mug Amy had settled on her desk to clear his mind of any improper thoughts. She was his boss, for crying out loud, but he couldn’t deny that over the past 6 months he’d been working for Whimsy, he had tugged one out to the thought of her an embarrassing amount of times. He figured tonight would be another one of those nights, because the sight of her bent over a desk, angry, was something that never failed to work him up.

By the time Harry had snapped back to attention, Amy was almost crying and Whimsy was, as expected, fuming, which was Harry’s cue to step in.

“Miss. Smith,” he spoke, his voice causing Whimsy to push herself off of Amy’s desk and look over at him as he approached her, his hand landing on her shoulder softly, “Why don’ ya’ go back to ya’ office and start contacting the businesses involved, I’ll help Amy try and fix this,” he squeezed her shoulder lightly as she pursed her lips, thinking over his proposition before eventually nodding her head.

“Fine, but if this isn’t fixed by the end of the day, you’re fired,” her stare was back on Amy as she spoke before she sent Harry a final nod and began to walk back to the elevator. The office was quiet the entire time, just waiting for the elevator doors to close before they all let out the breaths they were holding in.

“Thank you,” Amy breathed, blinking her eyelashes up at Harry as he looked down at her, a tight line adorning his lips.

“Only did it so she wouldn’t get more stressed than she is, had nothing to do with you. V’been fixin’ your mistakes since I got here, m’ not fixin’ this one.”


The problem was not fixed by the end of the day, meaning it was now midnight and Whimsy was about to rip her hair out. Her heels had been chucked across her office long ago and her long hair let down from the tight ponytail it had been in all day. She was sure her head was going to explode anytime soon, and all she wanted to do was relax with a bottle of wine and go to sleep.

A knock on her office door brought her out of the daze she was in, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion as she had thought she was the only one in the office.

“Come in,” she called, her voice hoarse from the lack of use it had endeared the past few hours, not including the few screaming matches she had with her laptop. The second the door opened and she saw Harry standing on the other side of it, she could feel her entire body relax, a small smile gracing her lips as she spotted a bottle of wine in each of his hands.

“Figured you’d still be here cause ya’ weren’t answerin’ ya’ bloody phone,” he made his way across the office, and Whimsy noted that he was now wearing a pair of skintight black skinny jeans and a large, comfy tan knit sweater, “Started to worry me, pet,” he sent her a pointed look and all she could do was sheepishly smile, “But then I just called ya’ loft and they informed me you still hadn’t come in fo’ the night, so I knew you were here. Figured you could use some wine right about now.”

“I’m sorry I worried you, but also I’m not because it got me wine,” she stood up and walked over to him, her hands grabbing onto the fabric of his soft sweater and tugging it softly, “Looks comfy, I’m jealous,” she pouted, and Harry looked down at her with an amused expression as she sighed; it was always funny to him how short and small she truly was when her heels were off, but he loved it.

“Let’s get some wine in ya’, and you’ll start feeling cozy too, hopefully,” he placed both bottles on her desk and quickly opened one up (he had brought his own wine cork, because the last time he showed up to her office with wine, neither of them had a wine cork and it was a disaster trying to get the damned thing open), grabbing a glass from her desk and filling it up, handing it off to her before filling his own up.

For the next few hours they both sat on the floor of her office, papers and her laptop in front of them as they worked until they physically felt like they both were going to explode.

“Fucking finally,” she breathed as they had eventually resolved the issue, setting everything back to where it needed to be. She threw herself back onto the floor, sending Harry a large, wine drunk smile as she looked up at him, which he quickly reciprocated, leaning down next to her on his side and propping himself up on his elbow to look down at her.

“Told ya’ we’d be able to fix it, pet,” both were tipsy, but not enough to hamper their judgement or cause them to not remember anything tomorrow.

“I like when you call me pet,” Whimsy spoke softly, one of her hands reaching up so she could trail her finger along his cheekbone, “Like when you call me anything actually, except for Miss. Smith,” her nose scrunched up, causing Harry to laugh as he caught her wandering hand in his own, holding onto it, “Makes me feel like I’m old. Like I’m my grandma, not that there’s anything wrong with her, she was a lovely woman but I’m young,” she rambled on, her cheeks heating up from the warmth that was spreading throughout the hand that Harry was holding.

“Mmhm,” he agreed, his eyes trailing along her body, lingering at the waistband of her skirt longer than they should, which Whimsy was quick to notice, but she didn’t see the intention behind the lingering stare.

“It’s uncomfortable,” she whined, referring to the skirt which took Harry a moment to catch onto before he was sending her a smirk.

“Take it off then, love,” his voice was deep and slow as he spoke, the alcohol running through his veins clearly catching up with his mouth. He expected her to swat at him and tell him to screw off, something he was used to when he would flirt with her, but instead she jumped up and began unzipping the back of the skirt, causing his eyes to widen, “Shit, love.. I was kidding,” he spoke frantically as he sat up, but he wasn’t sure if his heart was racing because his boss was about to take her skirt off in front of him or… well, that was truly the only reason.

“I knoooow,” she huffed, struggling with the zipper before her eyes lit up in victory as she yanked it down, “But it was a good suggestion. So, I’m listening, because this stupid thing has been annoying me all day,” she was now tugging it down her thighs, and Harry couldn’t help the audible groan he let out as her red lace panties came into clear view, and he knew if she turned around he would finally have a perfect view of her ass. Soon the skirt was pooling around her ankles and the tight fitting white button up she had tucked into it was falling loosely around her hips.

In that moment, Harry was thanking god the only light in the room was coming from her laptop and the city lights that were streaming in through the wall in her office, which was just glass, or she would be able to see the clear bulge that was now straining against his pants. He let out a huff and stood up slowly, realizing he really had to get them both home, their own homes, or he was going to lose it. Except when he turned to face her again and saw her leaning against her desk, he knew he was fucked.

“Thank you for helping me tonight,” she spoke, breaking the silence as she watched him, her hands resting on her desk as he walked up to her, his hand coming up as he captured his bottom lip between his thumb and pointer finger, tugging on it lightly.

“We should probably get home, kitten,” if Harry had been paying attention, he would’ve noticed the way Whimsy clenched her thighs together as the pet name kitten rolled off his tongue; it was the first time he had ever used it on her, and she wanted to hear it again.

“Kitten, hm? That’s a new one,” she reached out for his sweater, as she had done when he first got there, but this time she was tugging him towards her, causing him to stumble over his feet and his hands to catch onto her desk on either side of her hips, “Think I like it the most.”

“Is that so?” His lips were now dangerously close to hers, both of their breaths mingling; Harry wanted to kiss her in that very moment, but he knew the second they kissed things would change. Both of them could feel the tension in the room, and it was clear by the way Whimsy was currently wrapping her bare legs around his hips and pushing him in-between her legs that she didn’t want to ignore it.

Without thinking it over, his lips attached themselves to her jaw, slowly making their way down her neck until he heard her take in a sharp breath as he came across her soft spot. His lips quickly puckered around the skin, sucking it into his mouth as his hands moved to grip onto her hips, pressing his bulge into her now wet core. She let out a quiet whimper as he grinded against her clothed center, her hands slipping under his sweatshirt and trailing over his defined chest, causing him to bite down on the skin harshly before he traced his tongue over it to sooth the sting. Harry wasn’t sure exactly where any of this was going, but the second she moaned out his name, he couldn’t stop his hand from slipping into her panties and quickly flicking over her clit before tracing down her slick walls.

“Harry…” she whimpered, causing him to release the skin of her neck, his eyes now moving to where his hand was working against her center, watching as her hips grinded into his hand. He pulled away for a moment, his eyes watching hers as he rolled the sleeves of his sweatshirt up before moving his hand back to her and slowly slipping a finger inside of her tight cunt, his eyes squeezing shut as he felt how tight she was around his finger before he slowly slipped another inside of her. She was absolutely drenched, making it easy for him to quickly move his fingers in and out of her at a pace that had her back falling against her desk as her breathing picked up, not so quiet whimpers leaving her mouth as he skillfully applied pressure onto her clit with his thumb.

“Ya so fuckin’ wet, kitten,” he groaned, watching his fingers move in and out of her core, each time coming out even slicker than before; he could feel her clit throbbing under the pressure of his thumb, and the sight of her withering underneath his hands as she chased her orgasm against his fingers made him wonder what she would look like as his mouth was on her. Both of his fingers curled inside of her, dragging along her walls slowly before applying continued pressure onto that one spongy spot inside of her, causing her back to arch off her desk as she called out his name.

“Fuck, Harry… fuck m’ so close,” she was an absolute mess underneath him, but Harry wasn’t done with her, not yet. The second he saw her legs start to shake he quickly removed his fingers from inside of her, causing her to let out a distressed cry, her eyes flying open and quickly widening as she saw him slipping the fingers that had been inside of her into his mouth, his tongue lapping up her slickness.

“Do ya mind if I properly taste ya?” His hands were already curling around the edges of her panties, just waiting for her to give him permission. She nodded her head quickly, a chorus of “yes’s” leaving her mouth, causing Harry to smirk as he dragged her panties down her legs and got down on his knees, leaving him eye level with her dripping core.

He slowly dragged a finger over her sensitive clit causing her to take in a sharp breath, but nothing prepared her for the feeling of his lips sucking the sensitive nub into his mouth. His hands were on either side of her thighs, pushing them apart as he traced his tongue across her entrance, quickly dipping inside of her cunt causing him to moan against her. Whimsy’s hands flew to the hair on top of his head, quickly grabbing onto the strands and yanking on them softly as he dragged his lips back over her clit, sucking on it until she was seeing stars. His fingers quickly found a home inside of her cunt once again, his mouth never once letting up on her swollen nub. She couldn’t do much but whimper Harry’s name and tug on his hair, but that seemed to be enough to spur him on. He had never seen a more beautiful sight, and he was sure in this moment he could spend forever between her thighs, watching her wither and struggle to catch her breath. The combination of him sucking on her clit and pounding his fingers into her wet cunt mercilessly was enough to send Whimsy over the edge, her mouth opening against a silent cry as her legs began to tremble as she released around his fingers, struggling to blink the white spots in front of her eyes away as she caught her breath.

“Harry,” she whined as he continued to work her through her orgasm, her hands trying to push him away from her oversensitive clit, causing him to smirk against her. With one final kiss to the sensitive nub, he pulled away, the sight of his chin now covered in her release absolutely sinful as he repeated his actions from earlier and placed his fingers inside of his mouth, licking them clean.

“Reckon I should call ya kitten more,” he commented as he wiped his chin off on the back of his hand, causing her to let out a breathless laugh. He was quick to gather her panties off the floor and slide them back up her legs, helping her sit up so he could slide them over her ass.

“Thank you,” she whispered softly, stepping down from her desk on wobbly legs and Harry was quick to place his hands on her hips to steady her, sending her a smirk that had her melting once again.

“My pleasure, kitten.”

What the hell had they just done?

Hey i put out this album! check it out and donate if you can :) 

We’re a diy Fun Rock band from ct, ffo/ Hop Along, Sorority Noise, Told Slant, Elvis Depressedly, Third Eye Blind, Best Friends Forever, being angry n gay

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anonymous asked:

Can we please have the Obitos from all your different stories meeting? It would be soooo much fun.

Oh god. I was not prepared for this level of crack. 

So! Obito = crimanals ‘verse!Obito, Angry = reverse!Obito, Vagabond = Stormborn!Obito, Long-Hair = Stepping Stones!Obito, and Green Thumb = soulmate HashiObi drabble!Obito, bc why not. 


“What the actual fuck.”

“Language,” Kakashi says mildly, but he’s half a step behind and practically breathing down Obito’s neck, one hand on his Glock and both eyes narrowed.

“Fuck you,” Obito retorts. “We just got sucked into some kind of alternate fucking dimension, okay, I am fuckin entitled to whatever goddamn cursing I want. Now I’m late for meeting Rin at the FBI, and I don’t think she’s going to accept alternate dimensions as an excuse.”

“A crossover point, not a separate dimension,” a dark voice corrects, and Obito spins around to find himself staring at…

Himself.

Well, that’s fucking awkward.

Granted, it’s not an outright copy. This version of him is dressed in a long black cloak with a high collar, decorated with red clouds, and has a purple-patterned white mask on his belt. His expression is tight with anger, and his two eyes are burning.

He looks a hell of a lot like the man Obito used to see in the mirror, and it’s no comfort at all.

Even less of a comfort is the big man looming just behind him, who is eerily familiar but also very much not, and before Obito can help himself he blurts, “Kisame?”

Kisame—with the addition of blue skin, a matching cloak, and a massive sword covered in scales—chuckles, apparently abashed at being recognized. “Hey,” he answers, grinning, and casts a look up and down Obito’s body. Coming from his Kisame, Obito would probably return the look with a knife, but this one doesn’t seem to have quite the edge of cheerfully menacing lechery he’s familiar with.

Before he can say anything, though, Kakashi takes a step to the side, then one in front of him, and warns in his politest voice, “If you keep looking at my husband like you want to eat him, I might take offense.”

Blue Kisame blinks, eyes widening, even as Angry Obito stops dead, eyes widening. “Husband?” he repeats incredulously, and black eyes flicker between Obito and Kakashi like he doesn’t know whether to be appalled or baffled.

“Maa, maa, there are other people here who could take offense at that as well, you know,” a mild—and familiar—voice says, and another Kakashi—this one in a dark blue outfit with a green flak jacket on top—steps out from behind one of the square pillars littering the space. Next to him is another version of Obito, this one with long hair in a braid and the same uniform as his companion.

He takes one look at Angry and blanches, falling back with a hand going to the short sword he’s carrying on his back, and snaps, “Akatsuki?! What the hell am I doing in Akatsuki?”

Uniformed Kakashi casts an assessing glance at Angry, then over at Obito (who feels rather like he should start calling himself Terrorist Obito just to keep things straight) and his Kakashi, and raises a brow. He only has one eye, the other covered by the slanted headband he’s wearing, but the book he pulls out of the pocket of his vest is all too familiar. “I think—” he starts.

“The better question would be what am I still doing in Akatsuki?” yet another Obito cuts in, this one dusty-looking and travel-worn. He also has a Kakashi double with him, this one wrapped in an equally dusty cloak, headband slanted down across his eye and Icha Icha also in hand. Vagabond eyes Angry with something that’s halfway between contempt and pity.

Long-Haired splutters. “No! No, I think the absolute best question is why am I in Akatsuki?”

“Because we’re clearly morons,” a fifth Obito says drolly, tucked back in the shadows of another column. It makes Obito twitch and turn sharply, but this one, in a dark green yukata, sporting a twist of ivy curled around his wrist and a rose twined in his hair, just gives him a faintly amused look and leans back into the hold of the man behind him. Very unfortunately, Obito recognizes him, even in a matching brown yukata instead of a neatly pressed suit. As the mayor.

God, what the hell happened for him to end up with Hashirama?

Apparently he isn’t the only one weirded out, because Angry, Vagabond, and Long-Hair are all gaping. Green Thumb just raises a brow at all of them, amused in a very familiar “I’m having fun watching your brains leak out your ears” way, and folds his arms over his chest. One of the sleeves of his yukata falls back enough to show a long string of zeroes inked into his forearm, and when Hashirama reaches around to touch his wrist gently, wise eyes flickering between the different groups, Obito can see there’s a matching tattoo on his skin. Weird.

“I take it you know where we are, then?” Hashirama asks Angry courteously, with a polite smile Obito’s seen him use when bullshitting Madara, who always fails to notice.

Thankfully for Obito’s own sanity, Angry doesn’t seem to fall for it. He scoffs, short and sharp, and takes a step back like he’s trying to get them all in his sights. “I can guess,” he growls, and Obito is detecting one or two anger management issues here. Maybe also a desperate need for therapy.

Kisame chuckles again, patting his massive scaled sword almost fondly, and says, “We were headed somewhere else. Guess we got sidetracked.”

Long-Hair is still eyeing them warily, but he straightens slowly, releasing his tantō, and tips his head in agreement. “We were on our way back from a mission and something went…sideways when I tried to use Kamui.”

Vagabond just narrows his eyes at them, and it’s Vagabond Kakashi who offers, without looking up from his Icha Icha, “Same, right, my cheerful little unicorn? We were on our way from Uzushio to Suna and ended up here.”

An entirely relatable expression of intent to murder flashes across Vagabond’s face, and he turns with a growl, slapping the book to the side, then throwing a blinding-quick punch at Vagabond Kakashi’s stomach. Vagabond Kakashi catches it with one hand, and uses his grip to twirl Vagabond around and pull him into a loose approximation of the hold Hashirama has on Green Thumb.

Obito is entirely unsurprised when Vagabond elbows Vagabond Kakashi in the gut, smacks him over the head, and pointedly steps three paces away.

“Would you look at that,” Kakashi murmurs in Obito’s ear, sounding far too amused for having just watched his double get beaten up. “It looks like some things are innate.”

Obito rolls his eye. “If you ever even think about calling me your cheerful little unicorn, I’m murdering you. Sasuke will help me.”

Kakashi makes a face. “Using your cousin against me isn’t playing fair, Obito.”

“You say that like any version of him would play fair,” Uniformed Kakashi says cheerfully, and casts a glance at Green Thumb and Hashirama. “I take it you were traveling too, then?”

Hashirama flushes faintly, ducking his head sheepishly as he rubs at the back of his neck, but Green Thumb just rolls his eyes. “Hardly. Madara walked in on us having sex last week and now he’s on a mission to never let us be alone together. We came here to fuck.”

Hashirama makes a noise like he’s dying and drops his head to bury his face in Green Thumb’s shoulder. “Obito,” he whines.

“I’m feeling out of place,” Kisame says cheerfully to Angry. “Just a little.”

“Don’t,” Angry tells him flatly, eyeing Green Thumb like he’s wondering if their double has lost his mind. “Clearly I’m the only one in this room with taste.”

“Excuse you,” Long-Hair says, deeply offended. “My sexual preference isn’t fish, so I think I’m doing just fine.”

“You’re with Bakashi,” Green Thumb and Angry retort in stereo, then glance at each other.

Obito snorts. “That’s fair,” he allows, and ignores the wounded noise Kakashi makes behind him. When Long-Hair looks like he’s going to protest, he meets his double’s eye and arches an eloquent brow.

Long-Hair deflates with a sigh. “Yeah, no, that is fair.”

“Maa,” Uniformed Kakashi objects, finally lowering his book. “Obito, I think you’re being very rude to your husband—”

There’s a very loud splutter, and Long-Hair rounds on Uniformed Kakashi, flailing. “WHAT. We’re not married! You’re not my husband!”

“Well, we’ll fix that as soon as we get back,” Uniformed Kakashi says cheerfully. “But as I was saying, rude—”

Obito turns to give his Kakashi a dark look, only for the man to raise his hands. “Clearly, Obito,” he says, tone trying for innocence, “I’m genetically predisposed to proposals like that—”

“You’re unbelievable is what you are.” Obito rolls his eye, and turns to look at Vagabond, who’s seeming like the only semi-normal one. Well, Green Thumb seems fairly mellow and well-adjusted, but Obito can’t look straight at him without thinking about Hashirama and sex and Madara walking in, and he’s had nightmares and been in war zones that were less traumatizing. “We weren’t going anywhere, and I have no idea what Kamui is. Any chance of getting back home before Rin decides to call in the army? Or worse, Kagami?”

Something raw and painful flickers in Vagabond’s expression, and Vagabond Kakashi lays a hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently. Vagabond casts him a faint smile before turning back, and says, “There was probably resonance, with so many versions of Kamui in one place, and you had just enough chakra that it pulled you in as well. I can get you back, though, don’t worry.”

Angry snorts quietly, turning on his heel. “Kisame, let’s go. I’ve had more than enough of the selfless hero types.”

Kisame chuckles, even as he turns to follow Angry into the darkness of their surroundings. “Kurama’s hard to top as far as hero types go,” he agrees, offering a careless wave before a vortex in the air swallows them.

“And we’re going home to talk about this!” Long-Hair hisses at Uniformed Kakashi.

Uniformed Kakashi looks nothing less than cheerful. “I have a ring, if that helps.”

“NO IT DOESN’T. If you have a ring, why ask me like that?”

Vagabond rolls his eyes and steps away, tipping his head to make Obito follow. “They’re probably going to be there for a while.” Half a glance at Green Thumb, like it’s hard for him to look at the way he’s wrapped up with Hashirama too, and he asks reluctantly, “You’re staying?”

Madara,” Green Thumb says, like that explains everything, and Obito supposes that it does. “Besides, Hashirama’s been working on building the village for weeks now, and I finally convinced him to take a day off. I’m not about to waste that.”

“It was nice to meet you,” Hashirama says whimsically, offering a brief wave and a smile. “It’s good to know that Obito has people who love him in other worlds, too.”

This is apparently what it takes to make Green Thumb flush, and he elbows Hashirama lightly, only to immediately be wrapped up in an encompassing hug as the big man laughs.

Vagabond and Obito trade looks that can be summed up as well at least they’re happy but it’s still fucking weird, and then Vagabond shakes his head and turns away. His eyes flicker to red and black pinwheels, spinning lazily, and he passes a hand through the air, making another vortex bloom.

“Through there,” he says, and then pauses. A glance at Uniformed Kakashi, and he smiles, just a little. “Good luck.”

He definitely means for more than the trip through the portal. Obito smiles back, tipping his head in agreement, and returns, “You too.”

“We’ll get there.” Vagabond curls his fingers into Uniformed Kakashi’s, and Uniformed Kakashi’s visible eye crinkles in a smile as he very clearly squeezes back.

The sap is choking, even after weeks of having to put up with Rin and Konan being sickeningly sweet girlfriends. Obito hides a grimace and ducks forward, reaching for his knives automatically, and feels Kakashi right behind him. The portal is a lurching wrench, but Obito twists in midair and lands on his feet, half-crouched and ready for anything.

Anything happens to be their living room, bullet holes still in the door, his cell phone on the table and vibrating angrily. Rin’s name is on the screen, and Obito winces.

Kakashi leans forward to pick it up, eyeing it like it’s a poisonous snake, and then glances at Obito. “Was that weird enough to earn us a day off, do you think?”

Obito casts a look back at the portal as it vanishes into nothingness, and feels his original sentiment still entirely applies.

“What the actual fuck.”

Prompt by @softestisak: “write me a cake fight drabble u brat”

Ak, I don’t like you. But lucky enough, I like the prompt. HAPPY BIRTHDAY EVEN!!!! (also where is the fucking trailer?!?!?)

—————————————–

“So, you’re going to… bake a cake?”

Eskild’s voice is dubious, eyebrows raised to epic proportions and mouth set in an incredulous line.

Which, fuck him very much, because Isak is not completely helpless. And how fucking hard can baking a cake from scratch be? He has a printed set of directions in front of him, he has all of the ingredients spread out over the counter, and the oven is happily pre-heating.

What could go wrong?

“Yes,” Isak answers with a narrowed look, “I’m baking Even a birthday cake. It’s not rocket science.”

Eskild swallows and puts his hands up, like he was approaching a spooked horse or a small child, “Isak just because you’re gay doesn’t mean you automatically get Martha Stewart powers.

“Who the fuck is Martha Stewart?”

Eskild sighs, “Oh god, this is not going to end well. Are you sure we can’t call Noora in here to help you?”

“Nei,” Isak grabs the empty mixing bowl off the counter and away from Eskild, hugging it to his chest like a shield. “He’s my boyfriend and he made me promise not to by him anything, so this is what I’m doing. Jesus, you make it sound like baking is hard.”

Eskild whimpers but leaves the kitchen in peace.

———————

Okay- so as it turns out, baking is a little harder than it looks. It really wouldn’t be, but there are phrases like sift the flour and fold in the eggs.

What the actual fuck does any of that mean? And Isak is too proud to google it on his phone because he is seventeen years old and baking will not conquer him.

Also, is there really a difference in between baking soda and baking powder? And like, between regular sugar and confectioners sugar? Isak hopes not because Even will be here in two hours and Isak doesn’t have time to run back out to the store.

So he just kind of puts all the ingredients together and hope it works

———————-

It doesn’t work. It very much does not work.

And Even is laughing his ass off, arms securely around Isak’s waist as he takes another bite of the shitty Moulin Rouge inspired decorations Isak had turned into stick figures and laughs some more. “I love it,”

“You suck,” Isak groans, batting the fork away from Even’s mouth, “Stop eating it, you might poison yourself.”

“But what a way to go,” Even leans down to kiss at Isak’s pulse point, ignoring the loud boos of their friends. Isak flips them off, but Even doesn’t look ruffled at all, “Baby… you baked me a cake. You, yourself. God knows it was yourself because Noora never would have let this happen.”

Isak groans and Even’s attention is pulled away for a hot second by Sana, who’s just arrived to the apartment.

Isak glares at the failure cake. He worked fucking hard on it and now what? They’re just going to throw it out? Over his dead body is the cake he spent hours slaving away for going to be dumped into the trash.

So he cocks his head to consider, eye slanting right to note that Even isn’t wearing anything to expensive, just his favorite button up (read Isak’s button up) and a pair of jeans. 

The arms tightens around Isak’s wait again and Isak has an idea, He steps out of the embrace. Even swivels his head to look at him.

“One more surprise.” Isak gestures down to the sugar monstrosity, “Look at the cake closer.”

Even raises his eyebrows, but glances down at it, “I don’t get it.”

“Look.”

Even gets a little closer to the cake, now intent on finding whatever mystery clue Isak had hidden in the frosting. When he shifts his head down, just a little bit, Isak pounces.

He hooks a hand around the back of Even’s neck and pulls his face into the cake, waiting several seconds before releasing and stepping back.

The cheers are almost instant and Even is pulling back, wiping frosting from his eyes and laughing again, bright and happy laughter and this might just be one of the greatest cakes ever baked in the world.

“Little shit,” Even grabs a handful of the corner piece and- oh fuck no, Isak didn’t anticipate that. Even hurls the cake at him. Isak dives out of the way and-

The fucking cake splatters against Vilde. Oh my fucking god the look on her face. She screams and everyone goes silent. 

Or at least, for about fifteen seconds and then Even is grabbing another chunk of cake and hauling Isak to him by the waist and smearing the frosting down the length of his face.

By that time, everyone had gotten the idea and Isak’s perfect fucking cake was flying across the room, smearing over every surface available and every person available and Isak and Even were still half-wrestling on the floor trying to escape each other’s frosting clad hands and-

Fucking best birthday party ever.

anonymous asked:

shouldn't "shit" include drawing Yuuri (and other Japanese characters, and other East Asian characters) with slanted/closed eyes? too many non-East Asian people keep drawing East Asians like that and it's racist, so I want to know if you can watch out for that art too from now on

yeah, I’ll add that to the about