skynetics

The Skywall 100 is designed like the video game weapon that you only get for four shots, half of which you waste missing the final boss.

What it fires looks like it escaped from ‘60s Batman. Because it’s ludicrously awesome.

It’s a massive, shoulder-mounted, gas-powered, net-flinging bazooka, blasting a capsule which opens to reveal a net which wraps itself around the target, tangling it in weighted bolas. Then, because awesome never stops when it’s on a roll, the net deploys a parachute. It’s the world’s first functioning Rube Goldberg Gun, and it’s amazing. Because nets are drone Kryptonite – something stupidly simple that came from far earlier in history, and can utterly cripple the flying bastards. We should always have known that our future robo-toy overlords would fall to the same technology as the average Scooby-Doo villain.

The only tragedy is intellectual property laws, which mean this has to be called Skywall 100 instead of the outrageously perfect Skynet. It can be rapidly reloaded, and as a backup, you could probably use it to club a Terminator to death. 

5 Killer Ways YOU Can Take Down A Drone

How I would want next week's episode to go:
  • Simmons: We're against a whole army of robots, we're outgunned and out of luck. Radcliffe knows how we think so we need to think outside the box.
  • Fitz: I got an idea.
  • Simmons: So do I.
  • Fitz: Well, let's combine our plans then!
  • *next scene*
  • Bobbi: Thanks for calling us Simmons.
  • Hunter: Happy to help fight against Skynet.
  • Simmons: It's more like the Matrix than Skynet but whatever. Okay, this was my plan. Fitz, how did your plan fair-
  • *gates to hell open and Robbie rides out in his Hell Charger*
  • Robbie: Miss me?
  • Fitz: Can't believe it worked! Oh, hey Bobbi and Hunter, this is Robbie. He's gonna help us out.
  • Bobbi: ...
  • Hunter: ...
  • Robbie: What are we doing just standing around? Let's go destroy some robots.
Twin Bro matched!

So, my twin bro is a medical student.  He’s in his fourth year.  In May, he’ll graduate with his MD and start residency.  March 17th is Match Day ™, where all the students find out where they’re going to go to residency.

As far as I can tell, here’s how it works.  *Please see your friendly neighborhood medblr for accurate info, as I am not an expert

1.  Applications: Students figure out where they might like to go and send out a bunch of applications.

2.  Interviews:  Students fly all over the country, eat free meals, and interview to become residents.  There’s a lot of nervous energy.  This happens during the winter, both to give students a taste of how awful the winters can be wherever they’re going, and to test students’ resourcefulness regarding travel delays.

3.  The Rank List:  Students rank residency programs in order of which they like best.  Residency programs rank students the same way.

4. SKYNET! Highly opaque computer algorithms pair students and programs based on mutual high ranks.  Basically, computers decide the course of students’ lives and careers.  Please be kind to computers. The life you save may be your own.  Also, this part seems to take about 683 years.

5.  Did I Match?  On the Monday of Match Week, students get an email saying whether they matched or not.  <– This is where Twin Bro is  If a student matches, good! If not, it’s time to scramble.

6. The Scramble:  Students who didn’t match frantically search for open spots in programs that they didn’t apply to for one reason or another.  

7. Match Day!  Students who matched meet for breakfast (?) and mimosas at a fancy hotel.  They get envelopes with their matches inside.  They all open the envelopes at the same time, and there’s lots of nervous energy and crying and hugging and drama.  Apparently, Skynet likes to see people in states of emotional overwhelm. 

Twin Bro matched, and now we’re waiting for Match Day to see where he’s going.

I feel like people who talk shit about [people who like] Black Mirror think of it as “look at how bad technology is!”, and if that’s what it was, then yeah – media meant to cater to the “Skynet is imminent” (or whatever) fear is pretty annoying and not very helpful in the end.

Except… that’s not what Black Mirror reads like, to me. Even the episodes that are blatantly tech-based (Nosedive, Fifteen Million Merits, White Bear, et al) don’t give me the impression that they’re blaming the technology for what the people in the episode are doing to each other. It’s more like… holding people accountable for the way in which they use their technology, and the way in which they scapegoat tech for the same damn things they’ve been doing to each other for ages, things they just found new and more convenient ways to do.

I mean, do these same people talk shit about The Twilight Zone as well, because a lot of TZ episodes have the same purpose…