In the chaos of the aftermath of the battle, Elena was finding it hard to focus on anything. Tony was clamouring for Shawarma and Loki was making things right with Thor. The thoughts in her mind were overwhelming, and she had a throbbing headache. It was as if Sigyn was viciously attempting to break through Elena’s mind. She needed a break, time away from it all.
In the days following, Loki was taken to a containment cell for psyche evaluation and Elena was called to a meeting with Fury.
hey, have you ever sorted the women of the mcu? (love your 'bringing the war home' series btw) :)
*makes furtive noises* No, sir ma’am or other, I have not stayed up until three in the morning sorting every MCU character with doctorcakeray. No. Certainly not. Ahem.
Anyway. Here we go.
Natasha Romanoff is a Hufflepuff.
She’s got a Slytherin secondary the size of good plate armor, certainly. She lies, manipulates, calculates, shapeshifts to achieve her goals. She breaks down in front of Loki, gets her Russian captors to give her everything, plays the PA for Tony. She only pretends to know everything. She becomes what she needs to be to get the job done. It’s a hard way to live but a good way not to to die.
Those are her tools, her methods, her changeable skin, but what is her drive? This is a woman who got out of being an assassin and threw herself into SHIELD’s service, looking to finally be a white hat. She hangs her worth on other people. This is not a healthy Hufflepuff, but she’s Puff all the same.
Natasha throws herself into chaos for other people. She doesn’t have to love them. She doesn’t have to think she’ll make it out. There’s a particular face she makes, when deciding to answer the comm to go after Hawkeye, when deciding to launch off Cap’s shield at the Chitauri, when waving help away when she was trapped and the Hulk was changing. Resolve. Steady, quiet service and sacrifice.
When SHIELD’s rotten core is revealed, Natasha is heartbroken. Look at Steve Rogers, the very best of Gryffindor, how he sat there grinning, finally given an enemy to fight head on with a team at his back (Steve’s secondary is Puff; his unmovable morals come from inside of him, but he builds his strength in other people: the Commandos, Nat, Sam. When Steve finally fully invests himself in the Avengers, they are going to be a force terribly worth reckoning with).
Look at Maria, who shrugs it off. (Hill’s a Ravenclaw, her morals all self-defined). And look at Fury—he is not untouched by SHIELD’s fall, though he is the same Gryffindor that Steve is; but that’s because SHIELD was his responsibility and his job. Fury is guilty, a Gryffindor and a leader whose people turned from the light.
But Natasha is heartbroken. While Steve grins, Natasha sits across from him, shaken, doubting her own worth because she had hung it on SHIELD’s white hat rack.
She looks for direction from outside herself. She’s a Hufflepuff stripped of her own self worth, so she defines herself by the people around her. She looks to SHIELD. She looks to Steve, and he hands that trust right back to her.
One of the best things about CATWS was the slow beginning of Natasha making decisions based on herself. And it culminates beautifully: Natasha going off, alone, to build her own self in her own image for the first time in her twisted life.
I read Maria Hill as a Ravenclaw with a Gryffindor secondary. She purposefully, deliberately, and stubbornly hammered out the person she wanted to be and that person was brash, non-nonsense, fearless. SHIELD falls and she barely bats an eye, just moves on to some other place where she can choose to stand to save the world.
I haven’t done my Pepper study yet— need to rewatch those movies. But my first instinct is Slytherpuff. Loyal, ambitous, and healthily selfish, she achieves her goals with hard work, practicality, community buillding, and deliberate empathy (see: the way she interacts with Coulson and Natasha, vs. how Tony does. She creates assets).
Jane Foster, a Gryffindor with a Ravenclaw secondary, makes choices with her heart and pulls them off with her clever hands. Jane moves too much with her gut and internal compass to be anything but a Gryffindor at her core. Her secondary is deliciously loud, though— a Ravenclaw who solves problems by science-ing at them. I hope at some point in her life she has yelled/whispered EUREKA at the top of her heart.
Sif is a Hufflepuff with a Gryffindor secondary—there’s a reason she and Melinda May bond so instantly. A strong sense of service and loyalty acted upon with a direct (and often, but not necessarily, violent) strength, a tendency for breaking rules.
Darcy— I read her as Slytherin/Slytherin. I took her apathy and irreverency as a very clever smokescreen for a young girl faced with the uncaring difficulties of the world. Ravenclaw/Slytherin I could also get behind.
Sharon Carter is a straight Gryffindor. I like to think she learned it from Peggy.
tl;dr Natasha and Sif are both Hufflepuff, but one uses subtlety, manipulation and coercion to get her way (Slytherin secondary) while the other uses brash directness and strength (Gryffindor).
Sharon Carter and Jane Foster are both Gryffindor, heartfelt and honest. Sharon is full Gryff while Jane uses a Ravenclaw secondary to chase down her goals.
Maria Hill is a Ravenclaw who chose brave, straightforward Gryffindor as her way to operate. If she’s not just a full Slytherin, Darcy might be a Claw too, but she’s got the same adaptable, clever secondary as Natasha.
Agents of SHIELD ladies (May, Skye, and Simmons) sorted under the cut. I’ll try to avoid major spoilers but I can’t avoid at least brushing by some.
Steve led his elite team of SHIELD agents to rescue young hacker who created the deadly device and program that could dismantle the entire intelligence organization before their enemy captured her and used it in a wrong way.
“Life is binary: zero and ones. Only two things keep a group like this together; fear or loyalty - and I don’t see a drop of fear amongst you guys.”
…imagine when the Avengers find out Coulson is alive, though.
Tony would be shocked into silence, Steve tries to process the whole thing because recently he’s finding a lot of allies are back from the dead thank to unknown technologies, Banner is just sort of relieved…
Thor accidentally drops Mjolnir through three floors of Stark Tower before he remembers to summon it back… Pepper Potts comes through the door at great speed to ask why her morning coffee had been taken out by an Asgardian elevator… and the words die in her throat. She never thought…
But Natasha and Clint… he was Clint’s handler first, and then Natasha’s (when Clint came home and pulled the wide-eyed ‘I founded this, and they followed me home, can I keep her? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?’ trick all children are evilly capable of, and he has mastered)…
The two master assassins are just… unsure of anything for the first time in a long time. They’re pleased, but afraid it’s a lie… they’ve both known what it’s like to have their memories, their vision, changed and manipulated… knowing is never certainty for them.
And he knows this. He was keeping an eye on all of them, but particularly those two…
So, as they all stand staring at one another in confusion, [the Avengers on one side of the room, and the small team that Coulson had managed to lead during SHIELD’s downfall, the other]… he just opens his arms wide and says, in that way of his, “I’m real, it’s okay”…
And is nearly bowled over by the two Master Assassins dropping their weapons and hurdling furniture to reach him; clinging to him like children whose lost parent had just returned, when all hope was lost.
[And he was, in a way. For Clint, the circus brat. For Natasha, child of the Red Room.]
Members of Coulson’s team are a little shocked that the legendary Black Widow and Hawkeye (as much legends at SHIELD as FitzSimmons), would act this way.. but at the same time, they aren’t. He’s that important to them all, too.
May is smiling, FitzSimmons are pleased but mostly wondering when they and Skye could maybe ask for an autograph, Mack and Bobbi are on the periphery pretending not to be affected by the whole thing (but they are totally feeling the warm fuzzies).
It’s that moment that breaks into a tidal wave of action. Questions start flying about, Tony has to sit down, Thor strides over to also hug the Son of Coul (getting his two fellow avengers in the process), Steve disappears… returning with Bucky, and an entire set of vintage Captain America trading cards (he had Fury find, that he signed, in memorium)…
Pepper comes flying across the room faster than any person in heels should be capable of, “Phil Coulson, you made me cry at your funeral, I demand a hug!” and she, being a CEO and capable of getting whatever she wanted, whenever… parted the red sea of heroes and slid into the middle of the group hug to get to the man.
Bruce pats him on the shoulder, not a huge fan of great physical contact, but very much excited he’s alive.
Tony pokes him a couple of times, to be sure he’s real; gives a brief almost-hug and then wanders towards the nearest screen, muttering about protecting assets. Which seems to mean making Coulson his own suit, if the holographic displays are anything to go by…
Then Coulson notices the look on Clint’s face, and sighs, “You adopted more of them, didn’t you?” Hawkeye looks to Widow, she looks to Coulson, “We can neither confirm nor deny that development, but there’s three of them (five if you count Falcon and Bucky)… and we’re keeping them.”
[They say, glossing over the part where Vision, Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch had come onto the scene.]
“Of course you ar- rrrrrrrrrrrrrre?”
…which is exactly the confused/excited noise you make when your Childhood hero picks you up midsentence to super-soldier-squeeze the hell out of you…
“What are all you motherfuckers doing in here? It’s like Woodstock all over again… we have a situation people!” comes the unexpected voice of fury, nearly sending Fitzsimmons through the godsdamned roof in surprise.
“Sorry sir, emotions got a little heightened. What’s the situation?” responds Coulson, cordially, extracting himself from the middle of everyone with some reluctance.
“Avengers, Agents, you are needed on the helicarrier for an emergent situation.”
“Is it Loki again?” asks Steve, glancing towards Thor.
“If it’s Chitauri, shotgun NOT having to throw the missile through the wormhole again…” added Tony, distractedly.
“What’s the situation sir?” asked Natasha, glancing to Clint, beside her.
“The situation? The situation is all of y’all motherfuckers are standing around here being sappy, when you could be at the party we set up on the helicarrier… now get your pert little asses over there before I make you. And yes, that’s an order.”
Fury watches them all make for the roof where the quinjets are waiting to chauffer the groups to the helicarrier… and notices a certain guest of honour is waiting behind.
“Coulson, if I have to carry you to the quinjet myself, I will be doing it bridal style… for all the avengers and your team to see.”
“Sir… you were right.”
“Of course I was. What about exactly?”
“Oh… that they missed me as much as I did them.”
“You stop getting sappy and get on that quinjet, enjoy the party.”
As Coulson left the room for the elevators, he heard Fury mutter to himself. “So much for ‘they won’t even remember me’ nonsense… they damn near destroyed an alien race cause Loki hurt your compassionate ass.”
Then a sigh, and the sound of a commlink turning on,
“Hill, take a note. Widow and Hawkeye are gonna be some clingy little sons of bitches for the next few days… take them off active roster until they get right with themselves about their parent getting back.”
A grainy technovoice responded sharply, “Are you sure you’re not just jealous they’re no longer following you around like ducklings, sir?”
A snort, “Agent, that sounds like a lot of sass… from someone who did exactly the same thing.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, sir.”
“Suuuuure you don’t. The Avengers are on their way as we speak, and Coulson will get there as soon as he stops eavesdropping on my conversations…”
“Sorry sir!” he shouts from the hallway, “And thanks… for looking after the kids while I was away!”
Coulson sets a dead sprint for the elevators, laughing the whole time.
Tailed by the echo of, “Whatever you say, Mother…”
Trying to explain why he was a pink-cheeked giggling (and panting) mess when he got out of the elevator on the roof, was impossible.
He managed, “Fury’s… furious… run…” before he started laughing again.
Everyone just shrugged, got into the quinjets and clicked into their seats.
May leaned over to speak to Coulson (having to angle herself over Black Widow’s lap, as she and Hawkeye totally took the seats either side of him for various totally-not-concerned-he’d-disappear-if-they-blinked reasons), and said, “You are totally the Mum.”
The Agent huffed a laugh, “Oh no, I’m the Cool Aunt who lets them get away with most things…”
“Raising them all is going to be a nightmare with you around…”
“We survived FitzSimmons, and Skye, we can do anything, Phil.”
“Good Point.” he turned his attention across the quinjet, “Anthony Stark, Bruce Banner, you get your butts away from FitzSimmons or so help me… we are not going to have the world explode because you four were allowed in the same vicinity.”
“I second this, motherfuckers, now strap in.” Fury intones, as he strides into the ship and makes for the pilot’s seat. He stops in front of May, “Aunty Cavalry better not teach our assassin twins anything too damn deadly while our backs are turned, they’re dangerous enough as it is…”
“Yes, sir.” she smiles back, expression reading she is TOTALLY going to do that.
Skye has found herself a comfortable niche between Captain America and the Winter Soldier, pestering both with rapid-fire questions they are trying to answer before the next one comes their way. She occasionally touches their arm or leg and giggles. At one point, Steve looks at her and asks why she’s doing that… with the widest eyes you can even imagine, all innocence, Skype beams and responds, “Vintage…”
And Bucky loses it. “Fair enough, you never usually get to touch the relics, in museums.”
Steve looks conflicted for a moment there… but shrugs and grins.
Pepper is talking to Bobbi, and Thor to Mack; which often turns into a four-way conversation before dissolving into separate ones once more. No one else could seem to keep up.
As the quinjet tilted upwards, something slide past with a torturous screech of metal on metal.
With a sigh, Coulson unbuckled himself, grabbed it and strode over to it’s owner. “Thor, we’ve talked about stowing away loose items while in transit… you need to keep a better hold on this thing.”
The god of thunder takes Mjolnir with an expression of… well, it was like the lovechild of delighted surprise and smug justification. “As well you have reminded me many times, Son of Coul, I thank you for the return of Mjolnir.”
…that tiny smirk at the end makes everyone think that maybe, just maybe… Thor had done it on purpose. Infamously devious as Loki was, there was something unsettling about having someone as normally open and supposedly easy-to-read as Thor…pulling off something a little underhanded.
“We’re almost there, put your damn seatbelt back on… we’re not going through the whole funeral thing again.” Fury directed back at him, the helicarrier landing pads visible through the forward viewscreen.
“Was that an order?” he challenged, playfully.
“It will be if I have to come back there and strap you in for landing manually… but I’m pretty damn sure if we crash, they’ll have to pick you out of a protective ball all all your damn kids back there.”
With thinly-veiled amusement, Coulson sat down, strapped himself in, and looked around at the faces of those around him.
It may be weird, and a little ridiculous at times, but Coulson was glad that everything was back to (the closest approximation they would ever get to) normal.
Even if no one else in the room barring May, Fitzimmons and Fury got why, when asked by Tony where they’d all like to go for a celebratory holiday (Stark Industry’s treat!), he’d immediately said, “Not Tahiti.” and laughed.
Former military officers, Steve Rogers and his best friend, James ‘Bucky’ Barnes were detectives with the NYPDs Major Crimes Unit until one day a case comes across their desks involving the theft of a piece of art once stolen by the Nazis during World War II from a Jewish collector’s private collection. The case brings them face to face with infamous international art thief known only as Lewis.
Now five years later, having witness the shady underbelly of the black market and the corruption within governments, corporations and human nature , the once detectives, bring together the world’s best to form a company to provide evidence against the corrupted.