I can’t even imagine a life where I just make a little whimper about some shit and somebody swoops in and takes care of it for me. It’s gotta be a nice life while it lasts. And that is why I feel bad for hot chicks. Now you might be thinking “Ay Swkeezy, why would you feel bad for that? I wish I was fuckin hot and got anything I wanted anytime I asked for it”. I’ll tell you why. You ever meet a middle aged woman that’s batshit insane and you wonder what the fuck went wrong to get her there? Chances are she was a real pretty girl with the world at her fingertips until one day the only thing she was good at (looking cute) disappeared cause she got old. And then her world changed instantly. And I’m not talking about cougars, they still got it. I’m talking about the women one step beyond cougars. I call them saber-tooth tigers cause they’re pretty much fossils at that point. Now imagine that the only thing you’ve ever been good at is gone and you don’t know how to do a goddamn thing and you just discovered that all those men that have been nice to you for the past 30 years really did only want sex. I mean yeah you suspected it, but that couldn’t have been the case, right? But it was. And now they don’t come around anymore, cause the one thing you had that you based your entire life on is gone and it’s not coming back. So the next time you see a middle aged woman that could have been a hottie back in her day and she’s acting all crazy, now you know why. Cause attention is a drug, and when you can’t easily get your fix you’ll do some pretty crazy shit to get your high.
—  Skweezy Jibbs