I have the Dunkin’ Donuts app that lets me order ahead and skip the line, but I always feel bad when I do that. I end up explaining to everyone in line that I have the app and it lets me skip the line and they shouldn’t be mad at me, they should be mad at the guy who designed the app. I then have to explain that, yes, I also designed the app and they shouldn’t be mad at me, they should be mad at the Dunkin’ Donuts exec who told me to design the app. I then have to tell them that, of course, I was that Dunkin’ Donuts exec and that they should really be mad at capitalism and the free market for promoting such business practices, but by then I normally realize that it’s just me in that Dunkin’ Donuts because I’m everyone in the entire world and always have been. Then I pick up my coffee. It’s always cold. That’s my fault.


modmad has helped me so much lately and said a lot of very kind things and I don’t have a way with words to express how grateful I am and how enormously much it means to me and I just aaahhh I’m sorry you are amazing and I love you and thank you so much again from the bottom of my heart.

(They are already advertising the Nutcracker at every metro stop where I live, therefore it’s definitely not too early to post this.)