skinwalk

PSA:

being half native, i am beyond tired of this reoccurring theme. for all of you cryptid fans, the wendigo, thunderbirds, skinwalkers, etc. are NOT cryptids. they are a part of indigenous culture and are spirits/entities, and not anything like mothman. they are religious and cultural folklore, despite the fact that cryptozoologists try to classify them as cryptids. 

also, do not associate any non-indigenous oc’s with ANY spirits from native culture and folklore, as it is very insensitive (i.e. kylo ren wendigo, named “rendigo”) to the culture and considered white-washing. our culture, practices, and religion has already been stretched far and thin over the years. be respectful please.

What your fave creature/cryptid says about you
  • Sasquatch: No friends
  • Yeti: 6/10 chance you're in the sciences
  • Unicorn: Is either super gay or has a Gay Best Friend
  • Jersey Devil: Awake at 3 am watching robot chicken reruns
  • Alien: So Aesthetic, likes weird sex
  • Skinwalkers: What the fuck. Honestly, honestly, what the fuck is wrong with you
  • Vampire: Has a hot topic card and internalized misogyny
  • Angels: Either way into religion or way into like, Supernatural. Whichever, stay away from me
  • Mothman: Likes internet trends, may have a foot fetish but wouldn't say
  • Skunk ape: Definitely has a foot fetish
  • Loch Ness Monster: You watched Glee for more seasons than you should have
  • Goat man: Tried and failed to get your friends to go to haunted locations with you
  • Werewolf: Furry, obvs
Tips On How to Write a Shape-Shifting Character (For both fanfic writers and original content writers)

(gif courtesy of http://ilyone.tumblr.com/)

HOLY SHIT MY LAST POST ABOUT WRITING  WINGED CHARACTERS (which you can find here) GOT A SHIT TON OF NOTES! SO I DECIDED TO MAKE ANOTHER ONE ON SHAPE-SHIFTERS!

There are a lot of shape-shifting fics and stories out there. Like. A lot. Whether they be about were-creatures or about characters that just have the ability to shape-shift, a lot of the times- like with winged characters- these shape-shifters are not written very well.

They may be unoriginal, or they may be super Mary-Sues/Gary Stus when it comes to the fact that they have an infinite amount of power or whatever. So I decided to tackle the issues that come with creating a shape-shifting OC or making a canon character into a shape-shifter.

1. Decide what your character’s shape-shifting will be mainly used for

Shape-shifting can be used for a variety of reasons, and that’s why it’s critical for you to figure out what your shape-shifter will mostly be using their powers for.

Here are some reasons why shape-shifters can use their powers:

-Battle (transforming into a bigger creature to overpower enemies)

-Disguise (transforming into something that blends in with the environment around them to hide from enemies)

-Forced to shift (AKA werewolves)

-Spy work (transforming into antagonist’s lackeys to infiltrate the base or even vice versa)

2. Set Limits Right Off the Bat

Shape-shifters are incredibly powerful, and in theory, they can be practically invincible when it comes to battle and hiding from enemies.

However, that should ONLY be in theory. Your shape-shifters CANNOT be all-powerful like their abilities can call for them to be. Here’s where Mary Sue/Gary Stu elements come in, because many writers just state that their characters can shape-shift and leave it at that.

That brings up questions like:

“If he was running from the Big Bad™, then why didn’t he just shift into a wall or a chair and disguise himself?”

“If she had to fight the Big Bad™, why didn’t she just transform into a dragon and deep fry him?”

“Couldn’t they just masquerade as the Big Bad™’s minions and get inside the secret lair?”

Then, the author tries to make up for the lack of rules by giving us some half-assed explanation halfway through the third book.

As soon as the reader finds out that the main character is a shape-shifter, you have to lay down the groundwork for the limits.

Can they only transform into animals?

Can they only transform a certain amount of times at any given point?

Is there something that distinguishes them from the object/person/animal that they’ve transformed into?

Can they only transform into inanimate objects?

Can they only transform into other people?

Does transforming take a lot of energy and therefore they don’t do it often?

Is transforming painful?

Take Beast Boy from Young Justice/ Teen Titans/ various other things as an example:

He can transform into a lot of animals, yes, but they’re all obviously green and unnatural, making it difficult for him to blend in with other animals. his means that his shapeshifting would be most used for attack than for disguise.

You need to set limits, or else your character will be all-powerful and the plot won’t be all that intriguing to the readers; they know that the protagonist will win, so they won’t bother to really get invested in the story.

3. There are many forms of shape-shifters. Just because the mainstream media is all about werewolves with sixteen packs that can cut glass doesn’t mean that you have to make werewolves only

Did you know that technically, a werewolf is just a subdivision of were-creatures?

The prefix “were/wer” means “man” and is usually followed by the name of an animal, ANY animal, to imply that the man (or woman) is transforming into it.

Therefore, there could be werecats, weretigers, werelions, wereunicorns, and were[insert plural name of creature here].

You should really look up the different kinds of shifters from all different cultures and regions of the world. They’re actually quite amazing!

Here’s a list of some of my favorite shapeshifter creatures (Note that these are not all of the shapeshifters, just my personal favorites some of which I feel needed to be represented more in literature):

-Were[insert name of big cat here]

-Werewolf

-Skinwalkers

-Animaguses(Animagi?) (don’t use these they’re JK Rowling’s I just really like Animagi)

-Generic, run-of-the-mill shapeshifters

-Were creatures that are actually just the creature trying to masquerade as a human/ a creature that has a human form

-Transforming into huge gruesome monsters (it’s good shit 10/10)

4. You don’t have to describe the full transformation every single time. The first time is enough.

Readers don’t want to have to go through long, agonizing paragraphs of description every time your character changes, especially if they change during a battle. They don’t want the bloody, gory action to be disrupted by a description of a transformation that they’ve read a hundred times before.

If you truly want to describe the transformation more than once, though I highly advise against it, never describe it more than three times, and make sure to make it unique every single time. If you don’t think you can do that, just describe it once.

You should, however, describe the symptoms that come with transforming. Is it painful? Is it uncomfortable? Does it feel incredible because it makes the character feel a rush of power? Gimme the deets, but not all of them.

Things that happen during transformation that you can describe:


Painful

- Fur/scales growing (stinging and itchy)

- Bones breaking and reorganizing, as well as new ones appearing and old ones transforming

- Muscles ripping and elongating/shrinking

- Fingernails/toenails turning into claws


Invigorating

- Heightened sense of sight/smell/hearing

- Adrenaline rush

- More power/strength/speed



Hope this helped!

A skin-walker is a terrifying creature from Navajo culture, often portrayed as a witch who disguises themselves as an animal. In the native language, a skin-walker is “yee naaldlooshii” which loosely translates to “he who walks on all fours”.

Although this cryptid is thought of to be wholly fictional, there are several pieces of supposed evidence, although nothing has been conclusive.

I was out camping with friends, walking along this path through the trees with my friend talking loudly. She asks me, “oh crap, Meg, did you bring that extra sleeping bag for me?” and I say yeah, I’ve got it, we’re good. We keep walking and by now we’re pretty far away from the camp, walking through the undergrowth parallel to a stream. On the other side of the stream is a load of brush, and suddenly we both here a strange voice coming from over there. It was so inhuman it sounded more like an animal at first.

“Beeeeehhh did yeeeyyee bbrbrbring da eeetra eeeeepi beeerrrrrggg fo me?”

It repeats several times, and each time it sounds more and more like my friend. By this point we’re terrified and we start running back; the entire time, we can hear leaves moving behind us. We’re too terrified to look, and suddenly from behind us in a low whimper, we hear the voice again.

“Waaait I’m hurt!”

The voice sounded just like me.

I’m crying by this point. We keep running, and as we get closer to the opening in the field we were camping in, the bushes are thicker. We’re not really that fit and we had been running pretty hard, so we’re gasping for air. 

“Tired YET?”

This time the voice came from directly to the right of us, and it sounded like my friend again except for the last word sounded almost like a bark. I’m shaking so hard at this point and despite myself I turn and look back. There’s a massive mound of fur in the bushes that turns back the way we came from, vanishing back into the trees. We get to camp and tell our friends what happened and of course they don’t believe us, but we refuse to stay that night anyway and get in my friend’s car. We drive to a nearby town and check into a cheap motel for the night.

At about 10pm, my friend’s phone rings. It’s our friends at the camp, and they sound pissed.

“Jesus will you guys give it up? It’s been two hours, you’re not scaring us! You’re just keeping us from sleeping!”

My friend freaks out and gets hysterical begging them to leave. They’re convinced it’s us, and that we drove back there to prank them. They say they can hear our voices in the woods, yelling that we’re hurt and for them to come and help us. They don’t believe it’s not us, so I turn up the motel TV and let them hear that we’re in town.

They hang up immediately and drive to our motel and spend the rest of the night with us. The next day, we went back for our stuff and we’ve never been camping since.

[Story credit: Anonymous. Originally told in greentext; reworked into prose by me.]

Creatures From Around The World


My Favorite Mythology/Folklore and Cryptid monsters collected by Country/Continent.


MEDIEVAL EUROPEAN MYTHOLOGY / FOLKLORE (Book of Imaginary Creatures, Heraldry, Alchemy, Medieval Bestiary, Roma, Left-Over European)

The Muscaliet is so hot it will inflate everything it touches into a burning column of fire. Entire forests burn away when they find their way into earthly forests.

A Bao A Qu / Barometz or Vegetable Lamb / Basilisk / Cagrino or Chagrin / Carbuncle / Catoblepas / Echeneis or Remora / Flaga / Goblin / Gold-Digging Ant or Formica Aurum / Hypnalis / Ichneumon or Hydrus / Imp / Incubus / Leontophone / Leucrotta or Crocotta / Muscaliet / Myrmecoleon or Antlion / Nependis / Nightmare or Mare / Odontotyrannos / Pard / Peryton / Salamander / Scitalis or Scytale / Seps / Succubus / Undine / Will o Wisp / Wyvern / Yale or Centicore / Ziphius

Abarimon / Aspidochelone / Bicorn / Blemmyes / Bonnacon / Cerastes / Chichevache / Cockatrice / Cynocephaly / Haermorrhois or Blood-Letter / Indus Worm / Keythong / Musimon / Onocentaur / Panotti / Parandrus / Sandman / Wild Hunt / Ypotryll / Zitiron

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GREEK MYTHOLOGY (Ancient Greek/Roman Mythology)

Nemean Lions (named Golden Lion or War Lion in Mythika) are powerful hunters with very tough skin which is almost impossible to pierce with normal weapons. Their manes are covered with arrows and the weapons from their victims.

Akheilos / Amphisbaena / Anteros / Argus / Cacus / Centaur / Cerberus / Charon / Charybdis / Chimera / Chrysaor / Dactyl / Echidna / Empusa / Erinyes or Fury / Faun or Satyr / Gorgon or Medusa / Harpy / Hekatonkheires or  Hundred-Handed One / Hippocampus / Hydra / Kampe / Karkinos or Cancer / Ketos or Cetus / Ladon / Lamia / Lampad / Makhai or War Daemon / Minotaur / Narcissus / Nemean Lion / Nosoi or Pandora Box / Phobetor / Scylla / Sphinx / Thriae

Aegipan or Capricorn / Aetos or Caucasian Bird / Antaeus / Arachne / Celedon / Circe / Cyclops / Dryad / Erote or Cupid / Erymanthian Boar or Dire Boar / Eurynomos / Gegenees / Geryon / Graeae or Stygian Hag / Griffon or Griffin / Khalkotauroi / Maenad / Mormo / Pytho or Delphyne / Scorpios / Skolopendra / Spartoi / Stymphalian Bird / Symplegades or Planctae / Talos or Bronze Colossus / Teumessian Fox / Triton / Typhon / Zelus

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NORSE MYTHOLOGY (Ancient Norse Mythology)

Fenrir are said to be ancestors of all canine species, and in Mythika they are among the most powerful, only Cerberi stand a chance. Their skin is riddled with ice crystals and their breath is cold as winter.

Berserker / Draugr / Fafnir / Fenrir or Fenris / Hraesvelgr / Jormungandr / Jotunn or Frost Giant / Nidhogg / Svartalfar or Dark Elf / Troll / Valkyrie

Alberich / Dwarf / Elf / Hell / Hrimfaxi / Naglfar / Ratatoskr / Skinfaxi / Ymir

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CELTIC MYTHOLOGY / WESTERN EUROPE MEDIEVAL MYTHS (English, Welsh, Manx, Scottish, Irish, Breton and Arthurian)

Tatty Bogle are evil animated Scarecrows which can control birds and animate objects they touch. It is said that they are created by evil Hags which use the hearts of humans and the soul of a bogeyman to animate them.

Afanc or Addanc / Alp-Luachra or Joint Eater / Ankou / Awd Goggie / Banshee / Barghest or Black Dog / Boobrie / Brobinyak / Brollachan / Brucha / Buggane / Cirein Croin / Cu Sith / Cwn Annwn / Dullahan or Headless Horseman / Fachen / Fear Liath or Grey Man / Fomorian / Gancanagh / Grindylow / It / Jack-in-Irons / Kelpie / Knucker / Lavellan / Leanan Sidhe / Marool / Muirdris / Nuckelavee / Phooka or Pucca / Questing Beast / Rawhead or Bloody Bones / Redcap or Dunter / Shellycoat / Sianach / Sluagh / Spriggan / Springheel or Spring-Heeled Jack / Stray Sod / Tatty Bogle / Water Leaper or Llamhigyn Y Dwr / Wizard’s Shackle or Burach Bhadi

Arkan Sonney / Black Annis / Bluecap / Bodach / Boobach or Bugaboo / Bugbear / Cat Sidhe / Cath Palug / Ceffyl Dwr / Clurichaun / Curnunnos / Dobhar-Chu / Far Darrig / Fear Dorcha / Fear Gorta / Gwyllion / Kilmoullis / Leprechaun / Lunantishee / Ly Erg

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NORTHERN EUROPE MEDIEVAL MYTHS (Germanic, Scandinavian, German, Norwegian, Finland, Sweden, Iceland, Dutch, Belgian and Danish)

Osschaart are bizarre constructs made by the Jack-in-Irons. Osschaarts dangerous aura’s increase gravity and they can animate and control the chains that form most of their bodies.  

Ajatar / Alraune / Buckrider / Colorobetch / Doppelganger or Fetch / Erlking or Erlkonig / Gloson or Gravso / Gulon / Horerczy / Hrokkall / Ice Worm or Lagarfljot Worm / Iku-Turso / Kraken / Land Wight or Landvaettir / Osschaart / Pesta / Swamfisk / Valravn or Vilderavn

Askafroa / Baldanders / Fossegrim or Nakken / Helhest / Hrosshvalur / Huldra / Kludde or Aufhocker / Kobold / Lorelei / Mandragora or Mandrake / Nachtkrapp / Norn / Otso / Skotumodir / Snow Queen / Traicousse / Vatnagedda / Waldgeist

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EASTERN EUROPE MEDIEVAL MYTHS (Slavic, Russian, Polish, Romanian, Slovenian, Lithuanian and Serbian)

Combining the most feral features of both wolves and dragons the Zburator is a nocturnal hunting dragon that unlike most other dragons hunt in packs, they mostly hunt for other dragons.

Aitvaras / Bagiennik / Bauk / Bukavac / Fext / Hala or Ala / Karzelek / Kikimora / Leshy or Leshii / Lich / Moroi or Vampire / Nocnitsa or Night Hag / Planetnik or Demon Storm / Poludnica or Lady Midday / Shtriga / Veela or Vila / Vodyanoi or Vodnik / Zburator / Zirnitra / Zlatorog or Goldhorn / Zmey or Gorynych

Abaasy / Alkonost / Baba Yaga / Balaur / Bolotnik / Domovoi / Drekavac / Ebajalg / Indrik / Likho / Nosferatu / Ovinnik / Psoglav / Rusalka / Sarkany / Tculo / Ziburinis

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SOUTHERN EUROPE MEDIEVAL MYTHS (Spanish, Basque, Maltese, Sardinian, Italian, French, Swiss, Austria, Cyprus and Medieval Greek)

Every year the scales on a Cuelebre’s body become harder, until after a 1000 years they reach Adamantium hardness, once they reach this age they are almost impossible to destroy with normal weapons and most spells will simply bounce of their shimmering iron scales.

Aatxe / Agrippa / Barbegazi / Butatsch-Cun-Ilgs / Codrille / Cuelebre / Erchitu / Gargoyle or Gargouille / Gaueko / Hellequin / Kaw Kaw / Lou Carcolh / Marabbecca / Nuberu / Peluda / Pyrausta or Pyrallis / Stella / Tarasque / Trenti / Vrykolakas

Aerico / Caladrius / Drac / Krampus / Tartalo / Vouivre

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NATIVE AMERICAN FOLKLORE AND MYTHOLOGY (Inuit, Canadian, Navajo, Cherokee, and other such Tribal American)

Psonen are beautiful, but ice-cold bird monsters that are said to be related to the Phoenix. They mostly serve the Snow Queen as aerial mounts. They summon cold weather wherever they go.

Acheri / Ahkiyyini / Akhlut / Amikuk / Aniwye / Awahondo / Baykok / Binaye-Ahani / Delgeth or Thelgeth / Djieien / Ewah / Gaasyendietha or Meteor Dragon / Haietlik or Lightning Serpent / Mahaha / Mishibizhiw or Underwater Panther / Nalusa Falaya / Nida / Oniate / Piasa / Psonen / Pukwudgie / Qalupalik / Rougarou or Werewolf / Skinwalker / Tlanusi / Tsenahale / Utlunta or Spearfinger / Wendigo or Windigo / Yeitso

Adlet / Agloolik / Amarok / Amhuluk / Aziwugum / Baxbakwala / Cervitaur / Fastachee / Hinqumemen or Engulfer / Ijiraq / Ishigaq / Isitoq / Kokogiak or Qupqugiaq / Raven Mocker / Thunderbird / Tizheruk / Tupilaq / Ugjuknarpak

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CENTRAL AMERICAN MYTHOLOGY / FOLKLORE (Aztec, Mayan, Mexican)

The Reptilian Xhumpedzkin are famous for the lethal headaches they cause with their psychic aura’s. They feed on other creatures shadows.

Ahuizotl / Camazotz / Cipactli / Lechuza / Nagual / Xhumpedzkin

Camulatz / Chaneque / Huay Chivo / Quetzalcoatl / Tezcatlipoca

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SOUTH AMERICAN MYTHOLOGY / FOLKLORE / CRYPTIDS (Brazilian, Chilean, Paraguay, Colombia, Venezuela, Patagonian, Surinam and Argentina)  

Cherufe are the voice, will and mobility of a living volcano. They can take any shape they like but are always formed from lava and magma. Inside their volcanic homes these elementals are invincible, only outside the volcano the creature can be slain. 

Abuhuku / Alicanto / Caleuche or Ghost Ship / Candileja / Cherufe / Chon Chon / Cuero / Curupira / Eintykara / Encantado / Inulpamahuida / Invunche / Kayeri / Mapinguari / Minhocao / Nguruvilu / Peuchen / Succarath / Tuyango

Anhanga / Ao Ao / Boitata / Bush Dai Dai / Camahueto / Capelobo / Colo Colo / Cuca / El Tunche / Huallepen / Kori / Yacuruna

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AFRICAN FOLKLORE AND CRYPTIDS (Central and South African Countries)

The Migas in Mythika kinda resembles the LOTRing’s Watcher in the Water. Swamp Octopi with more than twenty tentacles, fighting one of these aberrations is like fighting an entire army of tentacles.

Aigamuxa / Asanbosam or Sasabonsam / Bouda or Werehyena / Cagn or Mantis / Dingonek / Eloko or Biloko / Emela Ntouka / Gbahali / Impundulu or Lightning Bird / Intulo / Jba Fofi / Kongamato / Lukwata / Lunwaba / Mbielu Mbielu / Migas / Mngwa or Nunda / Nandi Bear or Chemosit / Popobawa / Umdhlebi / Ya-Te-Veo

Abada / Adze / Anansi / Aziza / Chipfalamfula / Emere / Gambo / Grootslang / Jengu / Kwamang-A / Mokele-Mbembe / Ngoubou / Nguma-Monene / Ninki Nanka / Olitiau / Rompo / Yehwe Zogbanu

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EGYPTIAN MYTHOLOGY (Ancient Egyptian Mythology)

Sak are strange, wingless Griffons with a beautiful lotus flower on the end of their tails. This lotus flower releases a calming fragrance which takes away aggression in its victims. Sak love the flesh of Unicorns and other equine creatures.

Ammit or Devourer / Khepri / Petsuchos / Sak / Salawa or Set Animal

Axex / Heqet / Mummy / Phoenix or Firebird / Serket / Serpopard

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LEVANTINE FOLKLORE, RELIGION, MYTHOLOGY ( Arabian, Persian, Iran, Iraq, Turkish, Sumerian, Mesopotamian, Akkadian and Middle East)

The centaur-like Urmahlullu combines the best features of the lion and a humanoid. They are the perfect hunters and both gentle and evil variants exist.

Aghash or Evil Eye / Asag / Asdeev / Bushyasta / Caspilly / Devalpa / Druj Nasu / Dybbuk / Fulad-Zereh / Ghul or Ghoul / Girtablilu or Aqrabuamelu / Golem / Ifrit or Efreet / Jidra / Karkadann / Manticore / Miraj or Almiraj / Ouktazaun / Roc or Rukh / Sandwalker / Shadhavar or Siranis / Tiamat / Urmahlullu / Zaratan

Anzu / Arzshenk / Asena / Djinn / Ghawwas / Humbaba / Lilith / Palis / Pazuzu

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HINDU BELIEFS (Hindu Religion, Buddhism)

Raktavija are masters in blood magic, they can animate and harden their own demonic blood into shields, armor and weapons. To refill their lost blood they simply drain other creatures dry of theirs.

Juggernaut / Rakshasa / Raktavija / Virabhadra / Vish Kanya or Poison Girl / Vritra 

Airavata / Apaosha / Garuda / Makara / Naga 

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JAPANESE MYTHOLOGY AND FOLKLORE (Yokai, Japanese Stories)

Oh, can I keep it? Keukegen look like fuzzy, innocent creatures made entirely from hairs, in reality they spread horrid itching diseases and in the worst case a victim will scratch its own skin off.

Akaname or Filth Licker / Ashinaga-Jin / Bakekujira or Ghost Whale / Baku / Dorotabo / Enenra / Gashadokuro / Harionago / Heikegani / Isonade / Ittan-Momen / Jinmenju / Jorogumo / Jubokko or Vampire Tree / Kamaitachi or Sickle Weasel / Kappa / Keukegen / Kurage-no-Hinotama / Muramasa Blade / Namazu / Nekomata or Bakeneko / Nogitsune or Kumiho / Nurikabe / Omukade / Otoroshi / Raiju or Thunder Beast / Rokurokubi / Sagari / Sazae-Oni / Tenaga-Jin / Tengu / Tenome / Tera-Tsutsuki / Tesso / Tsuchigumo / Umibozu or Sea Bonze / Wanyudo / Yuki-Onna or Snow Maiden

Akashita / Ame-Onna / Hahakigami / Hannya / Hyakume / Jinshin Mushi / Kamikiri / Kasa Obake / Kasha / Katsura-Otoko / Kirin or Qilin / Kitsune / Mekurabe / Nodeppo / Nue / Nure-Onna / Oni / Shachihoko / Suiko / Tanuki / Yanagi-Baba

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CHINESE MYTHOLOGY AND FOLKLORE (China, Chinese Stories)

Xiao or Hsigo are kleptomaniac pests, they steal for the act of stealing and even attack other creatures to rob them of their possessions, especially gemstones and golden coins are wanted by the little thieves. Their leaders are called Ahools and they combine baboons with bat features.

Dijiang / Gaki or Preta / Kun Peng / Shen or Chan / Taotie / Terra-Cotta Warrior / Xiao or Hsigo / Xing Tian / Zhenniao

Azure Dragon / Bai Ze / Byakko / Dragon Turtle / Feng Huang / Genbu / Nian / Pixiu / Zheng

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POLYNESIAN MYTHOLOGY AND FOLKLORE (Philippines, Indonesia, Melanesian, Malaysian, Solomon Islands and Vietnam)

Terrifying aberrations, the Kurita use their many arms for swift locomotion, grabbing their victims along the way, they can eat and move at the same time without much trouble.

Abaia / Abere / Adaro / Bakunawa / Batibat or Bangungot / Berbalang / Bonguru / Con Rit / Dalaketnon / Jenglot / Kurita / Mambabarang / Nuno / Orang Minyak / Polong / Pua Tu Tahi / Sigbin / Tikbalang / Tiyanak

Ahool / Anggitay / Aswang or Manananggalen / Babi Ngepet / Banaspati / Berberoka / Bungisngis / Gawigawen / Genderuwo / Imoogi or Imugi / Kapre / Pelesit / Sarangay / Siyokoy / Tiburones / Toyol / Veo

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AUSTRALIAN MYTHOLOGY, CRYPTIDS AND FOLKLORE (Australian, Aboriginal and New Zealand)

Tiddalik suck up water and spit it at great force at their prey, putting them off balance and turning them into easy prey to swallow. There are also jungle variants of the Tiddalik which shoot with poisonous water and which look like giant mutant poison-arrow frogs, they can climb in trees as well.

Burrunjor / Dheeyabery / Drop Bear / Mokoi / Muldjewangk / Nargun / Papinijuwari / Punga / Taniwha / Whowie / Tiddalik / Wulgaru / Yara-Ma-Yha-Who

Bunyip / Mimi / Minka Bird

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FEARSOME CRITTERS (North American Lumberjack Stories, Cryptids)

Argopelters live high up in the treetops where they use their bizarre tentacle-like arms as whips, they also use them to throw wood-splinters which hit their enemies like bullets, often instantly killing their prey.

Argopelter / Cactus Cat / Hidebehind / Hodag

Hoop Snake / Jackalope / Moskitto / Roperite / Splinter Cat / Squonk

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LEFTOVERS (Modern Cryptids, Caribbean, Biblical, Himalayan, Dante’s Inferno and Alien Sightings)

Rat Kings are bizarre beasts which appear like a swarm of rats which tails are all tangled together into an impossible situation. These swarms of rats have a single mind and their diseased aura will cause the pest into any creature that lives close by.

Apocalypse Locust / Chupacabra / Death Worm / Gray or Dover Demon / Mad Gasser / Morgawr / Mothman / Ooze / Rat King / Tooth Fairy / Wolpertinger / Zombie

Beelzebub / Behemoth / Bloody Mary / Boo Hag / Cecaelia / Gowrow / Gremlin / Grendel / Guardian Angel / Horseman of Death / Horseman of Famine / Horseman of Pestilence / Horseman of War / Jack-O-Lantern / Jersey Devil / Leraje / Leviathan / Lusca / Poltergeist / Reptilian or Lizardman / Tree Octopus / Tulpa / Yeti or Abominable Snowman


EDIT: While most of my follower probably already know the descriptions underneath the pictures are from my own project Mythika, they aren’t 100% like the real myth. The collected groups are from the real myths. Though I made a much better version here: https://myth-lord.tumblr.com/post/160584821204/creatures-from-around-the-world-2


ALL PICTURES FOUND ON GOOGLE-PICTURES, CREDITS TO ALL THE ARTISTS, NOT MY WORK!

It’s 11 o'clock at night and your favorite tv show just ended. Your about to go to bed when you look outside to your horse stable. They all look like they are freaking out and trying to get out of the stable. You also see what looks like a deer in front of your stable, but the deer is standing up. You grab the double barrel and head out to investigate. You thought your neighbor said the things usually never get this close to people’s homes.

Skinwalker Ranch

Skinwalker Ranch is a ranch located in Utah that is known for paranormal and extraterrestrial occurrences. Many people have reported strange events in the area, ranging from cryptids to unexplained lights in the sky. Some of the most unnerving encounters include:

  • An encounter with an unkillable wolf has been reported on the property, telling of a wolf that was completely unaffected after being shot five times at point blank range while attacking a calf. The wolf was unaffected, and simply walked away.
  • Other strange wolves have been spotted on the property, including one so large that it towered above a car being driven by one of the ranch’s occupants.
  • Sometimes in the night, the entire pasture would be lit up as though illuminated by powerful stadium lights. Bright shafts of light would also be seen beaming from the ground to the sky.
  • Unexplained noises occurred frequently, with sounds like heavy, earth-moving machinery being heard from underground, and mysterious voices being heard as they worked in the pasture, seemingly floating above them.
  • Crop circles and other anomalies like circular ice patterns and large holes in the ground would appear all over the ranch.
  • Cattle mutilations were incredibly common, resulting in the loss of 20% of the herd in only 20 months. One day, all four of the ranch’s bulls went missing, and after a search were discovered stuffed into a small trailer like sardines. The trailer was locked, and the locks were covered in cobwebs. No one could explain how the locks were untouched, or how four massive, aggressive bulls ended up crammed together in a small trailer.
  • UFOs of various shapes and colours were often spotted flying back and forth above the ranch. On one occasion, the owner of the ranch thought he saw an RV in the pasture, and, thinking it was lost tourists, went out to help. As he approached what he thought was an RV, it rose straight into the air and flew out of sight.

Skinwalker Ranch remains under investigation, and is fenced off and heavily guarded to this day.

YouTube AU

Okay my friends sit your cute little asses down and get comfy because we boutta take a fucking trip.

First of all, Keith and Pidge share a YouTube channel. It’s definitely a conspiracy theorist, cryptic one. They just share different theories for things, including government like shit and skinwalkers and aliens and ghosts. They also talk about Shiro, Keith’s older brother that dead ass up and disappeared and there was no sign of him anywhere. They talk about that a lot, fans sharing their own theories. For a while the following hashtags were trending/used all the time: #Whereisshiro #whereiskeithsbrother #noseriouslywherethefuckisshiro. Also, there’s a count for every time Keith says ‘shut the fuck up pidge’ and every time pidge says ‘suck my dick, Keith.’ A few years into the channel, and it’s hella popular, Shiro comes back with no memory of where he’s been and they ask him on and Keith’s just. “Okay yeah we haven’t posted anything but there’s a good reason. Boom” and shiro just dead ass shows up. All the fans simultaneously shit themselves.

Shiro has his own channel before he disappeared. It was literally just sims 3-4 speed builds and a few self defence videos. When he comes back he just starts uploading like nothing happened. He said he couldn’t be bothered to explain so everyone should just check out his brothers YouTube channel. (Also he watches their videos and he’s annoying because he finds himself laughing really hard at those two dorks.) He eventually teams up Matt and becomes a gaming channel with sims speed builds happening. Them and Keith & pidge have sibling wars a lot.

Lance and Allura dead ass have a beauty channel with advice and dumb games. Everyone is always like 'I wished I loved myself as much as Lance loves himself’. They do hair and nails and make up and frequently have make up off’s to see who’s better. Every single time the other wins. They’re currently at 34-34 and it’s the quickest way to rile them up. They also did a whole video on which colour the dress actually was. (Lance: so yeah it’s obviously blue and black. Allura: um, I love you but no. It’s white and gold. Lance, under his breath: this bitch). Also if anyone’s wondering then they use lance’s sibling as dolls for their make up off’s.

Hunk has his little cooking channel, and mainly people tune in because he’s adorable and actually really funny, besides he creates some seriously good recipes. His fans (and Lance) all boost his confidence and he opens this little bakery that gets very popular. He frequently meets fans there and ALWAYS gets incredibly flustered and they give him little gifts and stuff and keeps every single one. Also, Lance is a guest quite a lot and they love it because their friendship is pure and goals. (Hunk: so yeah, here is our finished- Lance: no but guys this shit is really good honestly I’d probably kill for it. Hunk, blushing: er, anyway…)

Everyone is super shocked when they find out that Keith and Lance are together (many a hance advocated were disappointed that day, but happy they were happy). Keith is asked in a Q&A about his relationship and he, being a little tipsy because of a dare (don’t worry, pidge was worse) he just says “oh right yeah, Lance from that beauty channel.” And everyone doesn’t really believe him so he got his phone out and proved that shit. Don’t ever question a tipsy conspiracy theorist and on something they know. They all do this big ass video, Hunk, Lance and Allura, Pidge and keith. They had some purpose but they forgot about it immediately, Lance and Keith bickering constantly and Pidge rolling her eyes, occasionally mentioning some skinwalker theories. Allura just did Hunk’s make up as he talked about shay. Also, Keith says 'shut the fuck up you lovable dork" and it dead ass gets so popular they make t-shirts with that slogan. Shiro and Matt come over in the middle of this video. All the viewers see is them walking in, realising what the fuck was going on, looking at each other (Shiro: Chinese? Matt: sounds good let’s go.) and leaving without announcing themselves.

Coran is just the tech for them all but they hear his voice a lot (“Lance you’re my favourite don’t die.” “Keith if you do that I’m not taking you to the hospital. Again.” “Shiro, my son, that’s a nice ass fucking house.” “Pidge, I agree with Keith. Shut the fuck up.” “Allura don’t make me call your father from beyond the grave, I do not want an angry poltergeist on my hands but so help me god I’ll do it.” “Hunk you genius that food is amazing but have you considered my green goo?” “Matt, control your best friend. No wait, control yourself first, then him.” “No but guys if I hear me out, the green goo isn’t that bad.)

Aight my lovable dorks my dead ass is done and if you’re really still here then wow a gold star for you.

GUYS GUYS LET ME TELL YOU A STORY

So at first you should know: I am Polish
In Poland we don’t say “go to hell” very often, we prefer “go to devil” (sounds a little bit stupid, I know but in polish it’s better than “go to hell” trust me).

So I watched this episode (pic) with polish subtitles and they had to change this lines so it can make sense.

AND WHAT THEY DID, YOU ASK?
Well, if that skinwalker said “go to devil” then what can Sam say?
He said “Already been. Nice guy.”
I repeat. “Already been. NICE GUY.”

I WAS LIKE OH MY CHUCK IS THAT A SAMIFER WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WHAT YOU TWO WERE DOING IN THAT CAGE
But yeah I think Lucifer is a nice guy after all.


I hope you understand, my english skills are rusty.

Skinwalkers

                       

Skinwalkers are in Native American legends, particularly Navajo (they are called yee naaldlooshii directly translating to “with it, he goes on all fours”). They are believed to be a person with supernatural abilities to turn into any animal they desire. In some cases, skinwalkers wear the pelt of the animal.

The Yee Naaldlooshii 

They are one of the several varieties of the Navajo witch (specifically the ’ánt’įįhni) . In some versions, men or women who have attainted the highest level of priest hood are called clizyati, translating to “pure evil”, when they commit the act of killing a close blood relative (sister, brother, mother, father), incest, or necrophilia. This act is said to destroy their humanity and allow them to fully immerse themselves in the teachings of the Witchery Way.

  • The ’ánt’įįhnii are human beings who have gained supernatural power by breaking a cultural taboo.
  • Specifically, a person is said to gain the power to become a yee naaldlooshii upon initiation into the Witchery Way (witchcraft).
  •  This is done especially via the Navajo equivalent of the “Black Mass”, a depraved “sing" (Navajo ceremonial) used to curse instead of to heal.
  • Both men and women can become ’ánt’įįhnii and therefore possibly skinwalkers, but men are far more numerous.
  • It is generally thought that only childless women can become witches. 
  • Not every witch is a skinwalker, but every skinwalker is a witch.

Animal Forms

The most common forms are:

  • Coyote
  • Fox
  • Wolf
  • Eagle
  • Owl
  • Crow

The yee naaldlooshii is said to have the power to assume the form of any animal they choose, a decision based on what specific abilities are needed. For example, Witches may use a bird form for expedient travel in pursuit, escape, or otherwise. Some Navajo also believe that skinwalkers have the ability to steal the face of a person. The Navajo believe that if you ever lock eyes with a skinwalker, they can absorb themselves into your body. Alternately, some Navajos believe that if you make eye contact with a skinwalker, your body will freeze up due to the fear of them and the skinwalker will use that fear to gain power and energy.

Appearance 

  • A skinwalker is usually described as hairy, except for an animal skin.
  • Some Navajos describe them as a perfect version of the animal in question. 
  • The skin may just be a mask, like those which are the only garment worn in the witches’ sing, which is the opposite of the good sing.
  • Because animal skins are used primarily by skinwalkers, the pelt of animals such as bears, coyotes, wolves, and cougars are considered taboo. Sheepskin and buckskin are probably two of the few hides used by Navajos; the others are not used for ceremonial purposes.

Danger

Many Navajo people will tell of their encounter with a skinwalker, but will hesitate and often not reveal the story to non-Navajos, or to talk of such things at night because it is believed that talking of skinwalkers will draw them near you.

Skinwalker may stalk people, knock on the windows, and climb onto the roofs. Sometimes, a strange, animal-like figure is seen standing outside the window, peering in. Other times, a skinwalker may attack a vehicle and cause a car accident.

Protection

The skinwalkers are described as being fast, agile, and impossible to catch. Though some attempts have been made to shoot or kill one, they are not usually successful. Sometimes a wounded skinwalker will escape, only to have someone turn up later with a similar wound which reveals them to be the witch.

Varieties:

  • If you get the skinwalker to talk while in animal form, they will never be able to shapeshift again, and will revert back to human form.
  • White ash rubbed on bullets.
  • Saying their full name (and about three days later that person would either get sick or die for the wrong that they have committed).

Legend has it skinwalkers can have the power to read human thoughts. They also possess the ability to make any human or animal noise they choose. A skinwalker may use the voice of a relative or the cry of an infant to lure victims out of the safety of their homes; the skin walkers cannot enter a home without invitation.

Welcome to Librum Prodigiosum,

your definitive online resource for monsters, ghosts, cryptids, demons, boogeymen and mythical beasts.

Monster master list

- Abaddon
- Acheri
- Adlet
- Adze
- Agaliarept
- Agares
- Ahuizotl
- Akhlut
- Alicorn
- Alp
- Amphiptere
- Amphisbaena
- Amy
- Andras
- Angel
- Ankou
- Archangel
- Asmodeus
- Astaroth
- Atikaya
- Atmospheric Beast
- Aži Dahāka
- Baba Yaga
- Bael
- Bahamut
- Baí Zé
- Bake-kujira
- Baku
- Bandersnatch
- Banshee
- Barbatos
- Barguest
- Basan
- Basilisk
- Bauk
- Baykok
- Beast of Bray Road
- Beast of the Earth
- Beast of the Sea
- Bebilith
- Beelzebub
- Behemoth
- Beholder
- Beithir
- Belial
- Betobeto-san
- Bhut
- Bifrons
- Bishop Fish
- Black Annis
- Black-Eyed Child
- Bloody Bones
- Bogle
- Boogeyman
- Botis
- Brownie
- Buggane
- Bunyip
- Camahueto
- Camazotz
- Cambion
- Carbuncle
- Catoblepas
- Ceasg
- Cerberus
- Chamrosh
- Chaneque
- Changeling
- Cherub
- Cherufe
- Chimera
- Chinese Dragon
- Chōchin-obake
- Chupacabra
- Church Grim
- Cipactli
- Cockatrice
- Coeurl
- Colour Out of Space
- Crocoduck
- Crocotta
- Cthulhu
- Cù-Sith
- Curupira
- Daemon
- Dame Blanche
- Dantalion
- Dearg-due
- Deep One
- Demogorgon
- Dhampir
- Dhole
- Div-e Sepid
- Djinni
- Dokkaebi
- Dominion
- Domovoi
- Doppelgänger
- Dragon Turtle
- Draugr
- Drop Bear
- Dryad
- Duergar
- Dullahan
- Dwarf
- Echidna
- Einherjar
- El Coco
- Elemental
- Elf
- Eligos
- Encantado
- Erlking
- European Dragon
- Eyeless Jack
- Fairy
- Fastachee
- Faun
- Fenrir
- Fext
- Flatwoods Monster
- Flying Head
- Flying Polyp
- Forneus
- Fossegrim
- Fouke Monster
- Four Horsemen
- Fresno Nightcrawler
- Fucanglong
- Furcas
- Furfur
- Fury
- Futakuchi-onna
- Gamayun
- Gamigin
- Gargoyle
- Garuda
- Gashadokuro
- Gelatinous Cube
- Geryon
- Ghast
- Ghatotkacha
- Ghillie Dhu
- Ghost
- Ghoul
- Giant
- Gill-man
- Girallon
- Girtablilu
- Glaistig
- Glasya-Labolas
- Globster
- Gnoll
- Gnome
- Goblin
- Golem
- Gorgon
- Graeae
- Green Man
- Gremory
- Grendel
- Grey
- Grick
- Griffin
- Grim Reaper
- Grindylow
- Grootslang
- Gug
- Guivre
- Hag
- Halfling
- Halphas
- Harionago
- Harpy
- Hastur
- Hatuibwari
- Hedley Kow
- Hellhound
- Herne the Hunter
- Hippocampus
- Hippogriff
- Hobgoblin
- Hodag
- Hopkinsville Goblin
- Horla
- Hound of Tindalos
- Huldra
- Humbaba
- Hydra
- Ichthyocentaur
- Ijiraq
- Iku-Turso
- Imp
- Incubus
- Indrajit
- Infected
- Ipos
- Isonade
- Ittan-momen
- Jabberwock
- Jack-o’-Lantern
- Jackalope
- Jawzahr
- Jenny Greenteeth
- Jenny Haniver
- Jersey Devil
- Jiangshi
- Jörmungandr
- Jorōgumo
- Jötunn
- Julunggul
- Kabandha
- Kaiju
- Kamaitachi
- Kappa
- Kapre
- Karkadann
- Kasa-obake
- Kawa-akago
- Kelpie
- Kikimora
- Kinnara
- Kirmira
- Kishi
- Kitsune
- Kobold
- Kodama
- Kongamato 
- Koschei
- Kraken
- Krampus
- Kumakatok
- Kumbhakarna
- La Llorona
- Ladon
- Lamassu
- Lamia
- Lampad
- Langsuir
- Leanan Sídhe
- Lechies
- Leng Spider
- Leonard
- Leraje
- Leshy
- Leviathan
- Lich
- Likho
- Lindworm
- Lizardfolk
- Lloigor
- Locathah
- Loch Ness Monster
- Longma
- Loogaroo
- Lou Carcolh
- Lukwata
- Lusca
- Malebranche
- Malphas
- Mammon
- Man in Black
- Manananggal
- Mandragora
- Manticore
- Mapinguari
- Mara
- Marbas
- Marchosias
- Megaprimatus
- Melon Head
- Menehune
- Mephistopheles
- Merfolk
- Mi-go
- Midnight Man
- Mind Flayer
- Minotaur
- Mngwa
- Mokèlé-mbèmbé
- Monaciello
- Mongolian Death Worm
- Moon-Beast
- Morax
- Morlock
- Moroi
- Mothman
- Mr. Hyde
- Murmur
- Myrmecoleon
- Naberius
- Nachzehrer
- Nāga
- Nemean Lion
- Nephilim
- Nereid
- Nightgaunt
- Nightmarcher
- Ningen
- Ningyo
- Nixie
- Noppera-bō
- Northfield Pigman
- Nuckelavee
- Nue
- Nuppeppō
- Nyarlathotep
- Nybbas
- Ogopogo
- Ogre
- Oni
- Onibi
- Ophanim
- Ophiotaurus
- Orang Pendek
- Orias
- Ose
- Otoroshi
- Otyugh
- Ovinnik
- Owlbear
- Paimon
- Pard
- Patupaiarehe
- Pazuzu
- Pegasus
- Peluda
- Penanggalan
- Peri
- Peryton
- Peuchen
- Phoenix
- Pishacha
- Pishtaco
- Pixie
- Pixiu
- Polong
- Poltergeist
- Pontianak
- Poroniec
- Possessed Doll
- Power
- Prahasta
- Preta
- Principality
- Psoglav
- Púca
- Puck
- Pukwudgie
- Purson
- Qalupalik
- Qilin
- Radande
- Rake
- Ramidreju
- Räum
- Ravana
- Redcap
- Reptilian
- Roc
- Rokurokubi
- Rusalka
- Sabnock
- Saci
- Sack Man
- Salamander
- Sallos
- Sandman
- Santelmo
- Sânziene
- Sarlacc
- Sasquatch
- Satan
- Sayona
- Scarecrow
- Scitalis
- Scylla
- Seere
- Selkie
- Seps
- Seraph
- Shadow Person
- Shantak
- Shellycoat
- Shen
- Shikigami
- Shirime
- Shōjō
- Shub-Niggurath
- Sigbin
- Siren
- Sitri
- Skeleton
- Skinwalker
- Skunk Ape
- Skyfish
- Sleipnir
- Slenderman
- Sluagh
- Snallygaster
- Spartoi
- Sphinx
- Spring-Heeled Jack
- Squonk
- Stolas
- Strigoi
- Strix
- Subahu
- Succubus
- Şüräle
- Surtur
- Susuwatari
- Swan Maiden
- Sylph
- Taniwha
- Tanuki
- Tarasque
- Tatzelwurm
- Tengu
- Thoqqua
- Thunderbird
- Tibicena
- Tiefling
- Tikbalang
- Titan
- Tiyanak
- Tizheruk
- Treant
- Troll
- Tsuchigumo
- Tupilaq
- Turul
- Tuyul
- Typhon
- Tzitzimitl
- Uchchaihshravas
- Umibōzu
- Undine
- Unicorn
- U’tlun’ta
- Valefar
- Valkyrie
- Vargouille
- Vassago
- Ved
- Vibhishana
- Vila
- Virtue 
- Vodyanoy
- Wandjina
- Water Leaper
- Wendigo
- Werewolf
- Wight
- Will-o’-Wisp
- Wolliped
- Wolpertinger
- Wulver
- Wyvern
- Xenomorph
- Yaksha
- Yara-ma-yha-who
- Yeth Hound
- Yeti
- Yithian
- Yowie
- Yuki-onna
- Ziz
- Zmey Gorynych
- Zombie

Is there a creature you’d like to see documented? Suggest a spook.

Concepts: Dark being Mark from the future or an alternate timeline. At least, what was left of Mark. 

Perhaps Dark was just the result of a demon possession in a different timeline, or using his body as a vessel after an untimely death.

Or even skinwalker Dark.

Since Dark doesn’t obey the laws of physics/has the ability to control time

Plagues Against Mankind That We Shouldn’t Have To Deal With At This Point What The Huck

  • When your hair looks beyond amazing but no matter how many pictures you take it looks bad on film so you’re left alone in your room at 4:43 am suffering because you’ll now never have photographic evidence of the time your hair looked like it was styled by the angel’s themselves just in time for you to rush off to the Royal Ball. Only you will ever have this knowledge. You know the hair will be a mess by the time you see another human being again. Cursed.
  • Un-skippable ads in the MIDDLE of videos. what the hell.
  • When you order a Bloody Mary but it just tastes like straight tomato juice and nothing else
  • When you’re romantically frustrated and No One Wants To Take One For The Team And Just Date You Already
  • M. Night Shyamalan announcing a live action Avatar: The Last Airbender Two in 2017 the Year the Lord Abandoned Us, Apparently
  • The unseen forces that walk and jump on your roof all night long. They sound too heavy to be squirrels or raccoons. You never see anything up there when you check outside. You go back inside and the noises immediately resume, only this time you can now hear them laughing at you. Why Cant The Invisible Edgelords Remain Calm
  • Those birds that just dive right in front of your moving car
  • Owls in places and times where there Shouldn’t Be Owls
  • Donald Trump
  • When the dude living in your walls won’t stop blasting his techno bop music 
  • Having to use your rock pet to kill attacking bugs because you have no other means of defense 
  • the fact that I don’t know how to access podcasts and if I ask I’ll sound stupid
  • When your glasses are always smudged or dirty no matter what the hell you do seriously how the hell has no one invented something to stop this yet
  • When the Slurpee machines are always out of blue raspberry 
  • When people reference ‘the office’ while talking to you but you don’t get the joke because you’ve never seen ‘the office’ and when you tell them that you’ve never seen ‘the office’ they look at you as if you personally skinned their great grandmother alive
  • That…the fricking,,,,,,warm thing in the air that makes my body moist. Why that there. unnecessary attack from the planet. why. I want sweaters not sweat 
  • the fact that I Have No One To See Spider-Man:Homecoming With And I Am Distressed
  • When the wild rabbits don’t pick up on your psychic communication that you are one of them and they run from you
  • When the wine is expired 
  • When your favorite flowers only bloom for like one week a year
  • The fact that you are currently not eating chocolate 
  • Donald Trump
  • The fact that there currently is not Buffalo Chicken Dip entering my body
  • Those people that walk up moving escalators 
  • The guy that dresses up as Sulley in Disney World that grabbed my ass when I took a picture with him
  • Every Villain Is Lemon 
  • When all of your facebook memories are boring or depressing
  • The Cicadas That Are Laying In Wait
  • Those people that are rude to waiters and waitresses 
  • When you wanna write something but you’re hit with the overwhelming feeling that no one will ever wanna read it so What’s The Point
  • Batteries dying
  • The Vampire That Twerks Behind You Every Time You Look In A Mirror But You Can’t See Him Because He’s A Vampire But You Have The Overwhelming Feeling Of Knowledge That There’s A Vampire Twerking Behind You
  • The fact that Owen Wilson will never truly know we Value Him
  • When you’re not even making noise but a random old man complains about how much noise you’re making
  • The fact that there isn’t a 24/7 Law and Order: SVU channel 
  • People who can’t make up their minds about Dr. Phil
  • Cramps
  • really just wanna circle back here to the fact that my hair looks amazing right now I look like a 16th century maiden who is escaping her tower to attend the ball where she must slay the beast to save the kingdom this is my authentic past life coming through to make my hair look effortlessly gorgeous but the camera is not cooperating and No One Will Ever Truly Know 

  • Good tv shows getting cancelled 
  • People that unironically wanna have sex with Bill Cipher 
  • Being awake at 5:36 in the morning
  • The glowing orb that refuses to move out of your sock drawer 
  • Those little green men that sometimes escape out of jars in your cabinets and you gotta battle them for dominance of your own kitchen or else they’ll add too much paprika to all your meals…like, what’s their deal?
  • cats that don’t love you back
  • papayas 
  • Clovers that don’t have four leafs 
  • When you have to have matching socks to look professional 
  • ageing 
  • the T-Rex that insists on stomping down the street every time you’re trying to sleep
  • Aliens being hidden by the government 
  • When you rhyme by accident 
  • When you try to rhyme on purpose but can’t think of anything 
  • The fact that I just had to google how to spell ‘rhyme’
  • Gender Stereotypes 
  • The decreasing firefly population 
  • 7th graders that constantly stick their fingers through circles as a means of silently making sex jokes
  • Weeds that are taller than me I must be the Dominant Inconvenience
  • Fahrenheit vs Celsius
  • Telemarketers
  • Those guys that come up to your house to try to get you to buy Verizon Fios 
  • We’re Running Out Of Chocolate 
  • When John Oliver Steals Words Out Of Your Mouth Before You Can Even Think Them Like The Creature From Midnight
  • Zac Efron not showing up to the HSM 10th anniversary party
  • People who just really causally do splits or impossible stretches while your tensed up immobile ass is forced to watch
  • When You start doing squats but it starts making your butt get smaller and you grow distressed
  • People that are, like, unironically mean to other people. What the f o c k
  • All my socks developing holes in them
  • Crushes that go nowhere
  • the fact that no one ever thinks to respect the soft, gentle Molepeople that have been quietly helping our civilization along without reward for hundreds of centuries 
  • Werewolves getting mistaken for Skinwalkers 
  • The giant ball of flesh under the ocean that’s just waiting to destroy us all
  • People Who Don’t Get Your Sense Of Humor 
  • No one acknowledging your selfies
  • Hunters and Cryptozoologists not taking the hint that Bigfoot simply isn’t interested 
  • The fact I can’t figure out a clever way to end this post



  • Mankind Becoming the Plague Itself 
  • Conan O’Brien and his immense hidden power that everyone chooses to foolishly ignore. One day, he will reveal his true form and strike.
questions we all need answered

where’s isaac? is he still in paris? where’s kira? how’s she doing with the skinwalkers? is lori dead? where’s cora? are ethan and jackson a thing? are melissa and argent official? where’s danny and how much did he know? did he know that jackson was the kanima? where’s issac? why is lydia’s hair so boring? when will we get some stydia and scalia? will thiam have any more scenes together? where’s isaac? will theo find a place to stay (preferably liam’s bed)? is chris okay with scalia? when will gerard’s crusty bitch ass die? who the fuck does this knockoff morrell guidance counselor think she is? are froy’s eyes okay after that episode? also, where’s isaac?