skins was weird

An Escort’s Favorite Products and Their Hoe Uses

For those that have asked about my self-care regimen, here are my favorite products and their uses! I’ll definitely update this as I get more escorting experience and my product selection grows. 

Body

I have sensitive, weird skin. I’m allergic to almost all BBW products. Here are the things I love! 

  • Aloe Vera Baby Oil - Shaving the cooch
  • Tend Skin - Prevents razor burn after shaving the cooch
  • Neutrogena Body Clear Scrub - Exfoliates and gets rid of random bumps
  • Aveeno Therapeutic Shave Gel - For a soft, super close shave on your legs
  • Lollia Perfumed Shower Gel - All of their scents smell amazing and they leave behind a muted scent. Plus, it’s very thick so a little bit goes a long way. Seriously, a quarter sized dollop is enough to get foamy suds over your entire body!
  • Lollia Hand Creme - Will give you the smoothest, softest hands ever. Especially important for touching wieners. 
  • Intimore Intimate Wash - My favorite wash for cleaning the vag. ALL of their varieties are safe for sensitive skin and they have great uses. The Therapeutic wash is great if you’ve been fucked raw. Very soothing!
  • Lush Sugar Scrub - Great for exfoliating, it leaves your skin very bright and radiant and it is supposed to reduce the appearance of cellulite!
  • Nip + Fab Glycolic Fix Extreme Pads - I use these to get rid of weird bumps or razor burn on my legs after shaving. Will literally clear up those weird clear bumps that aren’t quite whiteheads or pimples. 
  • Kiehl’s Soy Milk & Honey Whipped Body Butter - Will leave your entire body smoother than a baby’s butt and the scent is very light. Super hydrating. I use this every night after a hot bath. I also use this to moisturize my cooch. YES, YOU CAN AND SHOULD MOISTURIZE YOUR COOCH. It’s okay! Try it!
  • Sally Hansen Airbrush Legs - It’s like foundation for your legs! It comes in either a squeeze bottle or mist. I use the squeeze bottle more because the mist WILL STAIN your bathroom tile or toilet, if you prop your leg on it to spray. 
  • St. Tropez Express Bronzing Mousse with Mitt - I used this for the first time last night because my spray tan was wearing off. It gives a really natural tan and you only have to leave it on 1-3 hours, depending on how dark you want to go, before rinsing! I left mine on for a little less than two hours and I have a nice, NATURAL looking tan glow! 

Hair

I’m a light ashy blonde with frizzy, unmanageable hair. Here are my top picks for products. 

  • Batiste Dry Shampoo - Absolute BEST dry shampoo and it’s super affordable. Very fine powder. It comes in a bunch of varities, I like the sleek and shine the most. 
  • AG Hair Cosmetics Sterling Silver Shampoo - Great purple shampoo for blondes. 
  • Davines Alchemic Conditioner - They have different formulas for different hair colors. I use the purple conditioner for blondes and it’s a great purple mask that tones and deep conditions. 
  • Kerastase Shampoo & Conditioner - Comes in a ton of varities. I use the ones for damaged hair and frizzy hair. BEST shampoo and conditioners I have ever used. It doesn’t take much product and every product does what it says it will. 
  • Kerastase Fluidissime Blow Dry Spray - For frizzy or curly hair. It gives heat protection, shine and smoothness. I use this when I want my hair to be super straight or I want to style it after blow drying. 
  • Kerastase L’ncroyable Blow Dry - Most amazing blow dry lotion ever. Seriously. Now my most used product. 
  • Kerastase Ciment Thermique - Protecting blow dry lotion for damaged/colored hair. 
  • Davines Melu Serum - For disguising split ends. Also adds shine. 
  • Davines Minu Mask - Illuminating hair mask used to add back shine and dimension
  • Carol’s Daughter Monoi Mask - Great for softness and hydration. Smells amazing. Probably my favorite mask. 
  • Kerastase Masqueintense - Second favorite hair mask. It’s ultra smoothing and revitalizes your hair. 
  • Kerastase Elixir Ultime - Great hair oil! Lighter than Morrocanoil with the same benefits, though the smell isn’t as nice. 
  • Shu Uemura Straight Forward - Great blowdry spray oil. It really does cut down the amount of time it takes to blow out your hair. I use this with the Kerastase Incredible Blowdy. 

Skin Care

I have sensitive, combination skin. I used to get random hormonal acne. 

  • Glamglow ThirstyMud - Great for hydration and smells amazing. You can use it as rinse off or a sleeping mask.
  • Glamglow Flashmud - Brightening, revitalizing mask. I use this on my butt to help get rid of a few blemish scars. No, I am not joking. Yes, it is actually working. 
  • Glamglow Thirstycleanse - Amazing mud cleanser for whenever my skin is feeling a little dry or needs some nourishment. 
  • Glamglow Supercleanse - My favorite cleanser ever. It’s a mud-oil dual pump and it takes off every BIT of make up and keeps your skin super clear! Plus, it’s not drying!
  • Peter Thomas Roth BHA 2% Acne Wash - For if I feel a breakout coming on. One bottle will likely last you over a year. 
  • Peter Thomas Roth Blemish Buffing Beads - Great for body acne.
  • Glamglow Fizzy Lip - Great exfoliating lip scrub, plus you get twice as much product as most other lip scrubs. 
  • Glamglow Wet Lip - Intense softening lip treatment. You should definitely be using both of these to get seductive, soft, kissable lips! 
  • Sunday Riley Luna Sleeping Oil - I use this at night before bed. It’s anti-aging, moisturizing, clarifying, fights wrinkles and reduces pore size. 
  • Sunday Riley Good Genes Serum - I use this in the morning and it makes my skin look superb. Best skin product I’ve ever had. It brightens, exfoliates, gives radiance and evens out hyperpigmentation. 
  • Clarins HydraQuench Intensive Serum Bi-Phase - I use this serum as my moisturizer and it keeps my skin super nourished! It doesn’t clog up your pores and hydrates your dry areas. Definitely the best moisturizer I’ve ever used.
Humans are Weird

Adding to the idea that aliens would be so confused by how aggressively social humans are, I just learned that the reason humans (and other primates) developed color vision was literally to help us understand each other.

With better color visions we’re able to better pick up on the emotional, mental, and physical changes in our fellow humans.

Humans change colors all the time. Humans go red when we’re expressing certain emotions like fondness/embarrassment or anger. Our skin changes shades when there’s something physically wrong with us like when we’re sick, when we’re having an allergic reaction, or when we’re not getting enough oxygen, just to name a few examples.

And color vision allows us to be very in tune with these changes in each other. It helps us interact with each other in social situations and helps us take care of each other when our loved ones are ill.

Imagine a species of aliens learning this information and being so fascinated by how everything down to the little nitty gritty details of our biology evolved for the purpose of interacting with each other.

This alien species works with individuals of their own kind and other species for practical purposes mostly. Imagine how baffled and amazed they would be when they learn how important social interaction is for our overall health that we evolved so we’re hyper-specialized to understand our fellow humans’ emotional and physical states.

3

this was supposed to be a shallura tangled au but this isnt even in the actual movie lmao

anyway, allura grew up with magical growing hair that glows different colors depending on her mood, and lived in a tower since she was young till an escapee climbed into her tower to hide

bonus klance (this au probs only have side klance tho lol):

cant believe how dumb they are that person is literally just next to you–

why-am-i-up-at-3am  asked:

*SLAMS FIST ON TABLE* MORE HEADCANONS. srs tho yours have got to be my fav i'm a slut for meme voltron shit.

happy season 2 my dudes!!

  • pidge swore off nature forever after getting a mosquito bite on a family camping trip
  • lance: “hunk is objectively perfect in every way” pidge: “false” lance: “explain” pidge: “he eats pineapple on his pizza”
    • lance, through clenched teeth and with visible effort: “hunk is… objectively perfect…… in……… every…………… way……………………..”
    • lance is a dedicated stan which is good because sometimes hunk tests his loyalty
  • real talk, all of them believed in aliens before the whole voltron thing. they’re space nerds who went to space nerd school and i know for a fact that it’s almost impossible to take an astronomy class w/o walking out convinced that They’re Out There
  • coran: *goofy space uncle with sick mustache* also coran: *lowkey the most likely in the castle of lions to have killed a guy*
  • when alteans are young their shapeshifting is really hard to control
    • so: 10 foot tall purple-haired green-skinned toddler allura
  • shiro’s in a weird mental place where he’s constantly stressed but also so used to things going wrong that when something does he’s like “well I suppose that’s a thing that’s happening”
  • has anyone else noticed that keith’s knife is like strapped over his butt
    • [galra soldiers corner the paladins] “alright i’m warning you, if you guys don’t back off right now my man keith here is gonna pull out his ass knife”

anonymous asked:

wait you got top surgery???

yep! it’ll be coming up on two years ago at the end of summer. best thing i’ve ever done for myself!!!!

Humans Are Weird

Every race in the universe is well aware of the humans’ ability to survive, to adapt, to push through against insurmountable odds. The humans walk on broken legs to return home, they charge into battle when loved ones are threatened, and their behaviour from one moment to the next can be as different as night and day. There is no stopping the humans. They persevere through fire, water, earthquakes, and hurricanes, through war and personal trials of every kind. Humans are at the same time revered and feared for their extraordinary feats.

Knowing this, Humhu was all the more surprised when she found Human Cooper stomping around his office and sucking on one of the appendages on his right forelimb.

“*human expletive* paper cut!” he snarled around the skin.