What could have possibly sparked so much discourse? A person's sexuality and gender seems like an extremely personal thing to pretend to know more about than they do.
I ate some potato skins at a gay bar a few days ago and mentioned it briefly in a “this has been a pleasant day socializing with my friends” post. Some folks took that as an excuse to vomit nonsense about how I was invading a safe space I don’t belong in and that’s… that’s pretty much it.
Apart from the constant harassment to publicly disclose my own sexual orientation to justify my doing business at a gay bar, I’m baffled by the suggestion that straight people should be forbidden from entering gay bars for any reason. Firstly… it’s a business, guys. Businesses need patronage, or else they shut like the other gay bar in the city (this is a red state, btw).
Bars are not support groups, and they’re definitely not “safe spaces”. They’re community centers, yes, and they can provide refuge to lots of people, but they’re… they’re bars. People get drunk at bars, start fights, end fights, get roofied, get pressured into things they don’t want to do, and are subject to racism, ableism, transphobia, body-shaming, and more - and that’s from within the community.
Of course straight people shouldn’t go to gay bars “ironically” or be annoyed if someone flirts with them (unless they’re pushy and obnoxious about it, obviously). “Don’t be an asshole” common sense applies, as ever. I’m always surprised by the short-sightedness of vehement “allies GTFO” sentiments in real life spaces, because that also excludes closeted and questioning people. I see that #discourse applied to shit like high school GSAs, full of minors, and it blows my mind.
It’s especially absurd for bars - people were mad that I went with my gay friends because it should be a “strictly gay only” space, and had the audacity to lecture me on why I didn’t belong there. I really doubt that these anons are old enough to go to bars if they don’t understand the value of bringing along someone you trust when you’re going to be drinking. Having a designated driver and someone to watch your back is a good and important thing. I cannot stand the taste of alcohol and am bad at socializing, so my presence at any bar is mostly as support for friends, or to get food. The suggestion that “keeping out the straighties” is more important than safety and enjoying yourself is patently absurd.