today i’ve realized that the only thing holding me back from doing whatever the heck i want are my insecurities. i can’t pick my course for college because i feel like i am not good enough to actually become something. i want to be an architect but im afraid my drawing skills and designs will never be enough to sustain me in the future. i want to be a doctor but im scared of failing my subjects because im not actually that good in memorizing terms. i also want to be a lawyer but i feel like i have a weak heart and i will never win my cases in the future. i want to be so many things, i can be one of those things, heck i can be all of those things!!! but these thoughts are driving me crazy!!!!
“Skating is something that heavily depends on how you’re feeling and there’ll definitely be times when you feel like you absolutely hate it. When you do it well, it’s the greatest feeling in the world and when you don’t, it’s the single most frustrating thing ever and you start to think that maybe you don’t like it as much anymore. But you’ll always have the people who’d stand by you no matter what. When things don’t go your way, these are the people, people like your parents, or others around you like your coach, who’d tell you exactly what you need to hear (even if it’s not necessarily what you want to hear) and they’d be doing it because they know you can do better, so it’d be wise to listen.
And as you grow older, you may find yourself going through rebellious phases and getting angry quite a lot, and you’d maybe think that all these people around you should just mind their own business and leave you alone, and that’s natural. But it’d be awesome if you could grow up to become someone who is able to understand where they’re coming from and cherish all the support that’s selflessly being given to you.”
-Yuzuru HANYU, at the ISU World Championship 2014 Small Medal Ceremony, answering an 8 year-old skater’s question about what they (the skaters on stage) feel is most important to them when it comes to skating
Source: Taken from 04:18~04:26 of [this video] for the little girl’s question and 00:00~01:32 of [this video] for the big boy’s answer.
(Note: He answered it after Tatsuki and Javi cos he wasn’t prepared to give one only to find out that he’d basically skipped his turn. I think they somehow let him say his piece later, though, cos he was looking really sulky and isn’t it a good thing that they did?)
Moon: how you nurture, how you show affection, how you offer comfort & care, how you tend to needs; how you cope with anger or frustration, how you express those emotions, how you express love; your perception of what your child needs based on your memory of your own childhood, how you apply your experience of life to your child, how you take what you learned from the parent that nurtured you and use it in raising your own child; how you make your child feel safe and loved; how you navigate pregnancy/motherhood
(if you’re a woman) and your perception of / attitude toward those things; how parenthood affects you.
Mercury: how you speak to your child, how you teach your child to speak, how you listen to your child; how you teach your child in general, the attitude and approach you take to teaching; the way you share information with your child.
Venus: what you dress your child in, how you style their hair; how you decorate their bedroom; what you buy for them, especially the toys & clothing; how you handle their self-esteem; what social values you instill in them, what manners you teach them, how you socialize them, what you teach them about their presentation and their appearance; how you express love and affection.
Jupiter: your philosophies/beliefs about parenthood, your knowledge surrounding parenthood, your parenting values; how you impart your personal wisdom to your child, how you mentor them, the morality & philosophies you teach them, the truths & deeper meanings you teach them; what you learn through parenthood, how the experience of parenting a child enlightens you; how you encourage & impassion your child, how you engender a lust for life within them; how you enrich their life or how they enrich yours.
Saturn: how you scold/punish your child, how you handle their mistakes & flaws, what privileges you give them, what you teach them about their privileges; how you discipline your child, how you engender self-discipline within your child; how you influence their self-worth and work ethic, what you teach them about work, how you prepare them for jobs / the future / society; what practical skills you teach them, how you encourage (or force) them to be productive; the structure you build in their lives, the foundation & stability you create for them; how/if you introduce them to the harshness of the world,
how you raise them to be a member of society, the life lessons you prepare them for; your fears about your child, your fears about parenting, the mistakes you make as a parent, the mistakes you’re afraid of your child making, how strict you are as a parent.
Ceres: what you feed your child, how you satisfy their physical needs, how you nurture & care for them physically; how you nurture your child in general, what compassion and sensitivity you offer, your selflessness or lack thereof, what you are willing to give, your unconditional love; your relationship to the organic and biological side of being a parent; how you make your child feel secure.
Vesta: how family fits into your destiny and/or highest potential, how you channel your individual essence into the well-being of your family; your devotion to your family & children; how you “keep” / take care of your home, the things that belong to you, and the people (and animals) you’re responsible for.
2nd House: the environment you raise your child in, how you accommodate them materially, how you take care of them physically, how you treat/spoil them; the fundamental & personal values you teach your child, the principles by which you teach/raise your child, what you teach is be important in life, how you influence their personality and life path, what you teach is essential for happiness; how you set them up for the future practically/materially.
5th House: your attitude toward procreation; your relationship with your child overall, how you connect to them as a parent / their creator; the media you surround your child with (music you play, shows you let them watch, etc); how you play with your child, the sweet & joyful side of parenting, the fulfillment you draw from raising your child; how you bring art into your child’s life; what you teach your child about love/sex & relationships; how you allow your child to enjoy life (especially in their teenage years), the freedom you give them in their teenage years; the essence of your love for your child.
6th House: your relationship with your child overall, how much you’re able to give, how you behave as a caretaker in general; your devotion to your child’s well-being, your concern with their health; your everyday home routine; how you tend to the physical needs of your child, what you feed them, how you keep them active & healthy; how you approach sickness in your child, how you prevent illness/injury, how you heal your child, how you cope with an ill/injured or disabled child, how you cope with a child that consumes all your time & energy; your unconditional love and how you show it through care/service/healing.
Imum Coeli: the home you make, both materially and emotionally; the safety, structure, and stability you provide; how you handle your child’s psychology & the influence you have on it; how you nurture your child emotionally, your relationship with them as someone who protects & cares for them, how you defend your child from the outside world & the public, how you treat your child in private; how you treat your child at night & how you handle their sleep schedule; how you handle their secrets and their deepest psychological needs, how you handle their emotions and their pain, how you care for their development.
Medium Coeli: your vision for your child, what you hope they will become, how you influence their destiny/purpose/potential; how you build their self-esteem & self-worth, how you encourage their dreams, how you help them achieve their dreams, how you support them in their career, how you instill the discipline to work toward their own dreams; your authority in their life, the impact you have on who they become, how they find the meaning in what you taught them & apply it to the rest of their lives, how their identity/ego absorbs your parenting style.
(The IC-MC axis also rules how your childhood and experience of parenting from a child’s perspective influences your parenthood; your parents, the way you lived and what you learned as a child is re-purposed as you raise your own child. You become what you learned from your parents, positively or negatively, in your own unique way. The mistakes you make and the things you do well as a parent come from your understanding of your own parents’ mistakes/skills.)
Do you have more info about aspects to the ascendant?
Sun/Ascendent: Lots of physical energy. Self-esteem strongly influences self-expression. Father often played an important role in the development of the self and the self-expression, for better or worse. Independent, tendency to look at oneself instead of others to decide how to express themselves (this can be altered by other placements).
Moon/Ascendent: Emotions are either actively hidden or naturally and openly expressed. Mother often played an important role in the development of the self and the self-expression, for better or worse. Prone to obvious moodiness. Tendency to shyness. Nostalgic. Emotional state heavily influences how they carry themselves and they may like to change their appearance frequently.
Mercury/Ascendent: Come across as witty and intelligent. There is an air of
juvenility around them. Often skilled with their hands and at crafting. Talkativeness is common and there’s a tendency to express oneself mostly through words, the attentionspan can be small at times. Aspects between Mercury & the Ascendent other than the Conjunction are usually of less importance as both are rather passive points when it comes to aspects.
Venus/Ascendent: Is viewed as beautiful and/or attractive, regardless of actual appearance. Very charming and well-mannered. A people person, sometimes with the tendency to be a push-over or people pleaser. Diplomatic and has a fine eye for beauty and aesthetic as well as other people’s talents. May be prone to shallowness at times.
Mars/Ascendent: Fierce and passionate, has an active and confident approach to the world. May at times come off as “too strong” or aggressive. Determined, assertive, and action-oriented. Doer instead of talker personality. Tendency to be competitive and approach people and things as challenges. Prone to be irritable and condescending towards those who are more passive.
Jupiter/Ascendent: Extravagant and noticeable expression. Loud and grande personality, even if not actually loud or tall. Tolerance and expansion are big themes, tend to not care too much about what others think or do. May be prone to a god or superiority complex. Curious personality and eager to see and experience a lot. Possibility to indulge too much in any form of abundance.
Saturn/Ascendent: Disciplined and controlled. Mature personality. Tendency to be more quiet and take the role of the observer more than that of the actor. Can come across as intimidating and prefers to keep their circle small. Very resilient, tenacious, and reliable. Prone to pessimism that is perceived as realism by the native. Cold demeanor, may feel as if they aren’t allowed to be themselves.
Uranus/Ascendent: Spontaneous, eccentric personality. Wants to suprise and shock people, may enjoy changing themselves and/or their appearance a lot. Prone to detachment and a feeling of being, or having to be, “above” others. Strong intuition and likeable but may be hard to get to know on an intimate level. Skilled at technological things. Future-oriented. Idealistic views and a strong wish to revolutionize their surroundings. Tendency to escape conflicts and push people away.
Neptune/Ascendent: Very sensitive and incredible intuition. Has an exceptional imagination and skill of visualization but has a tendency to use these to escape reality by daydreaming excessively. Spaces out a lot and tends to feel “far away”. Intuitively spots dishonesty in others and very empathetic. May be unsure of who they are and can be unstable and easy to manipulate.
Pluto/Ascendent: Extremely ambitious in going after their goals and dreams. Tends to come off as unapproachable and someone who doesn’t show all of themselves. Resilient and tends to go through lots of transformative phases. May be autoaggressive or even masochistic. Strong willpower and urge to grow as an individual. Prone to paranoia.
make this year about yourself. write a journal with your thoughts and ideas, take care of yourself and remind yourself to put your well-being first, acquire new skills, learn a language, set yourself goals to achieve, and study for your future. you will thank yourself later.
Make Me Choose:Rose Granger-Weasley or Lily Luna Potter - for @confidentsilver
Lily Luna was a peculiar girl, and she seemed to take after her godmother’s laid-back and eccentric nature. It was no surprise when she was a hatstall between Ravenclaw and Gryffindor, but she found her rightful place in Gryffindor like her parents before her. She was a girl of strong values and conviction, and she used her creative and open mind to find solutions to the problems she found most important. She became a healer after her Hogwarts days to alleviate pain in the world, and she used her skills in Divination to foresee the future and help those in need.
Borderline personality is a condition of pain. There is a clinical list of symptoms that validate diagnoses, but I am not a specialist on personality disorders. I am not going to go into these. I first learned about Borderline personality as a nursing student studying mental health. Their emotional reactivity is extreme. I like to think of it as, imagine 4 girl friends walking down the street. The weather is cold, it’s snowing and windy. Three of the girls are wearing warm jumpers, scarves, and weather resistant clothing. The fourth girl is wearing shorts and a t shirt. They are all experiencing the same degree of coldness and temperature. But the fourth girl is absolutely freezing, she not just cold, she is purely uncomfortable and shaking viciously, all her fingertips are burning. The fourth girl is expressing the Borderline’s severe experience of emotional storms. It’s like they truly lack the protective clothing. They are vulnerable, exposed, and feel deeply. One aspect of the Borderline personality quality I want to focus on, and relate to astrology is that of a distorted self image, identity diffusion, and a disturbed sense of identity. Intense projection seems to be a problematic attribute of Borderline. This lack of self seems to result in substance abusing behaviors to fill some of the emptiness, to try and hold onto something real, constant shifts in vocational aspirations and goals, this prevailing sense of worthlessness. They have trouble ascertaining who they are, what they want, what they like, and where they want to go. This is where astrology can become an effective tool. Can astrology cure Borderline personality? No way. It is typically a manifestation of PTSD, and best treated in the hands of professionals. I do believe though, that astrology is capable of relieving some of the suffering and giving a clear definition of inner potential. The astrological chart suggests our archetypal qualities and potential. It gives an untainted description of attributes that exist within us, inherited at birth. These have not been blemished by their self image, or maybe the abuses they have received from others. It can give people with Borderline personality a framework of characteristics they can found their identity on. They are no longer gliding in the ether, hollow, chameleon and reflecting the traits of others. And people leaving may not feel so deadly, because they have bloomed a portrait of the self, a definition, they can stand alone. Maybe they will learn that their natal Venus in Aquarius is a personality that feels quite distant from others to begin with, and they associate with this, they connect astrology with qualities within themselves. And that Venus in Aquarius, once grounded, revels in its independence. Or that sixth house stellium guides that person to a career in nursing, when he felt so conflicted and confused, astrology provided an outline of his talents and skills, his calling, and he was able to define a future. The emptiness a Borderline feels can be filled by that contemplating reverence they conceive as stars pour into them, they have been divinely crafted, there are constellations that entangle them, they are the descendent of Gods and Goddesses. They are souls expressing as Leos or Scorpios or whatever. I know that people with Borderline personality can feel so hollow and diffuse that they are relieved to hear a Borderline diagnosis because iit provides a stable outline of who they are. And the clinical picture of Borderline personality is not so wonderful. And I think, wouldn’t being able to find yourself through the positive qualities illuminated by astrology provide so much more comfort, guidance, and beneficial reference? Instead of being a pathology, you are a progeny. There is nothing profoundly evil or bad about them. Rather than feeling as though they lack an identity, they just float, they can look into the night sky and see themselves. At it’s most sacred essence, astrology is compatibility with the self, the stories of the stars are stories of you, and you can fall in love with yourself. I am not an expert on Borderline personality. I do not know that much.Astrology is by no means a remedy nor a therapy. But it can provide a definition of the self in a way nothing else can, and for those who feel so vacant, for those who are searching for an identity, no anchor could be so pure as the cosmos. -Cherry
As a toddler, the codependent learns quickly that protesting abuse leads to even more frightening parental retaliation. Thus she responds by relinquishing her flight response, deleting “no” from her vocabulary and never developing the language skills of healthy assertiveness.
The future codependent also learns early on that her natural flight response intensifies her danger if she tries to flee. Later, when a child is older she may also learn that the ultimate flight response, running away from home, is hopelessly impractical and even more danger-laden.
Many toddlers, at some point, transmute the flight urge into the running around in circles of hyperactivity. This adaptation “works” on some level to help them escape from the uncontainable feelings of the abandonment melange. Many of these unfortunates later symbolically run away from their pain. They deteriorate into the obsessive-compulsive adaptations of workaholism, busyholism, spend-aholism, and sex and love addiction that are common in flight types.
The toddler who bypasses the adaptation of the flight defense may drift into developing the freeze response and become the “lost child.” This child escapes his fear by slipping more and more deeply into disassociation. He learns to let his parents’ verbal and emotional abuse “go in one ear and out the other.” It is not uncommon for this type to devolve in adolescence into numbing substance addiction.
The future codependent toddler, however, wisely gives up on the fight, flight or freeze responses. Instead, they learn to fawn their way into the occasional safety of being perceived as helpful. They discover that a modicum of safety can be purchased by becoming variously useful to their parent.
For the budding codependent, all hints of danger soon immediately trigger servile behaviours and abdication of rights and needs.
Once a child realizes that being useful and not requiring anything for themself gets them some positive attention from their parents, codependency begins to grow. It becomes an increasingly automatic habit over the years.
Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving, Pete Walker pg 130-133