ski vision

incandescence; pt.1

Genre: werewolf!au, angst, mystery (lol kinda)

Pairings: taehyung x reader

Word count: 2.8k

Summary: You must run away, as fast as you possibly can. But in that very moment a gust of wind blowing in from seemingly nowhere causes the curtains drawn close on the tiny window to flutter wildly, illuminating the room with a tinge of sunlight that streams in. And that’s when you see him.

Warnings: mentions of blood

prologue, pt. 1

Your mother had found you collapsed at the top of the staircase.

You wake up to the feeling of the soft duvet on top of you and the worry and relief in your mother’s eyes. For a moment you feel almost a bit too disoriented to recall the string of events which had gotten you here. However, your blissful ignorance does not last too long as the memories come flooding back to you all at once. The fear feels raw and fresh in your bones at the mere thought of, well, ’it’. The menacing pair of dark eyes gleaming with a razor like sharpness, the rumbling of the low growls erupting from deep within its chest. A man, a beast, a nightmare. You found both, the reality and falsehood inseparable in your head.

 “Y/N, Oh my God, I was so worried. Don’t you dare die on me like that again.” The panic in your mother’s voice grew progressively, until her words were literally coming out all rushed and jumbled up. “Just what happened? Don’t ever scare me like that again.” Close to tears she plopped down at the foot of your bed, running a hand over her tired face. And suddenly you could no longer bring yourself to tell her the truth.

 Some wicked shadow of a possible ghost suddenly zapped up out of nowhere and the poor faint hearted me passed out at the sight of it. There is a possibility the house is possessed,  Mom and all those horror movies are actually true. Now my soul is in danger. It sounded so absurd in your head that for a moment, even you doubted yourself. Before you knew it a lie that sounded way more close to the truth fell out of your lips. “I think… I might’ve fainted out of exhaustion. I hadn’t really eaten all day. Sorry, I made you worry.” 

 She did not for a second doubt your mumbled explanation, and that moment had you wanting to believe in your own lie.


The coming few weeks are nothing short a literal hell. A hell you’d crafted carefully with your own over active imagination and hyper alert senses. You jump like a scared cat at the slightest of  sounds and the slightest of shifts in the air. Your own heart beat feels a bit too loud in the ever silent misery of your new home. However when weeks tuned into a month, without any menacing dark shadows lingering around you, or anything even remotely poltergeist, you somehow force yourself to find a way to lock up that incident from days back and the paranoia that came with it in a little box which you then carefully hid away somewhere in the back of your mind.  Maybe it had been a hallucination, a trick played by your own exhausted mind on you, after all.

Your mother worked a hectic shift which usually required her to be gone all day. You constantly found yourself worried about her health when day after day she kept working herself down to the bones. “I’m fine Y/N. As strong as ever.” She would tell you with a small smile and even though the dark shadows lining her eyes would tell you a story otherwise, you never pushed it.

 Alone and with nowhere to go, the days felt too long with nothing much to fill in the long uneventful hours. You took care of the house hold chores almost a bit too enthusiastically as they provided you with your much needed distractions. You wanted to be optimistic about this whole situation but the coming months felt daunting when not even a single day passed without dragging on lethargically. It was all too quiet, too tranquil. Your days were caught up in a vacuum. However, even though you had failed to notice any of it, the silence was growing louder by the minute and sooner rather than later you would come to realize that what you once thought was a tranquil nothingness, is no longer as empty or peaceful as it had first seemed.


On one early Thursday morning, you wake up feeling a strange wave of nausea hit you out of nowhere. A foul smell invades your nostrils so overwhelming that you almost gag. It smells like something rotten and decaying. You furrow your eyebrows in puzzlement, you had been thorough with your housemaid duties, disinfecting and bleaching almost every surface in sight every single day without fail. There was no way you could have missed-wait!… the storage room.

 You had never really been in there, never bothering to explore that particular end of the house for some reason. As your mother had explained it, it was a little room which held a few of the broken items and old furniture belonging to the tenants who had lived here previously.  You sighed covering the half of your face with your t-shirt as you sauntered down the hallway, grabbing the bunch of house keys which held the one to the store as well, on your way.

 You had no explanation as to why fear was once again starting to cloud your mind and your feet felt as if they were made of lead. The sickening stench continued to go stronger the closer you got to the store’s door which stood closed at the end of the hallway a good few paces from your bedroom. The urge to just hurl out the contents of your empty stomach was desperately real. This was when your muddled memories of that one eerie evening from several weeks ago began escaping it’s rightful place from the little cage you had tucked them away in, as you stood in front of the door, trying to muster up the courage you needed to push it open. Fumbling around trying to find the key in its bunch you battled the inner conflict where your brain chided you, mocked at you for being such a coward while your entire body and soul wanted to just flee and never come back. 

Wow so what were you now? A paranoid lunatic?

 With that you pushed the door open and the excruciating whiff of burnt flesh and blood almost had you crumbling in an instant. You blinked away the tears which were beginning to form in your eyes and you frantically searched the dimly lit room for the source the smell. A rat it had to be a dead rat. But when your eyes did adjust to the dull lighting of the room, terror began to claw its way out and dread tore apart every bit of composure you had been holding on to.

 There was a pool of coagulating blood on the floor, and the red was smeared on one of the walls resembling the vague shape of handprints. Over your own loud and shallow breaths, you could hear someone else's ragged and unsteady breathing. You were frozen at your spot unable to speculate, unable to make a decision. You were all alone, unarmed, the closest neighbours a mile away. Screaming your lungs out would be a pathetic failed attempt at survival.

 "W-who are you?“ You stammered, not expecting an answer and surely enough you did not get one. You took a tentative step forward red flags going up in your head. You must run away, as fast as you possibly can. But in that very moment a gust of wind blowing in, from seemingly nowhere, cause the curtains which were drawn close on the tiny window to flutter wildly, illuminating the room with a tinge of sunlight that streams in and that’s when you see him.

 The blood curdling scream you let out in that moment could have been loud enough to split the skies apart.


Your visions blurry and the pumping of your heart is so hard that it almost hurts. You are breathless and petrified, a deer in front of headlights.

 He sits crouched in one of the corners, his head in between his knees. His silhouette trembles with every breath of his and a low guttural groan rips out of his chest. You snatch the curtains open immediately and your gaze flits downwards landing on the blood covered shreds of the once grey t-shirt he wore, which is now a gruesome shade of crimson. There is so much blood, on his torso, on his hands, his cheeks, you feel light headed just at the sight of it.

“Help me, just this once” his voice is a faint whisper, but his desperation rings loud and clear in the silent room.

 Rationality and common sense are long  forgotten as you rush to grab a first aid kit, a couple wet towels and a bottle of rubbing alcohol from your bathroom. You were nowhere near competent when it came to first aid, the only bits being the things you had learnt watching Grey’s Anatomy and other medical sitcoms. You were sure that the boy and the bloody mess he was in required more than just your superficial knowledge of healing.

 It was hard to keep the disgust and queasiness off your face when within seconds your own hands and clothes were splattered and smudged with his blood. Every time you pressed the wet towel onto his wounds he jolted under the ministrations of your hesitant and trembling hands. The bleeding continued incessantly and within moments the towels would begin to drip with the gushing red liquid.

“I can’t do this. I-I don’t think I can help you. I should call the police, the ambula-” Your own shriek stops you mid-sentence as the boy in front of you, roughly grabs your face with his large bloodied hand, forcing you to look at him directly. “Don’t. You don’t have to do anything. Just let me stay here for a while. I’ll be fine.” Contrary to his actions his words were barely pained whispers as he begged you to let him be. He lets go of your face and you sigh out in relief. “But-” He groans in frustration at you and you swallow your own words but as if he had read your mind, he answers that one thing which was constantly eating you from the inside out. “I do not have any intentions of harming you. You don’t have to be afraid of me. Look, I’ll leave right now if you want but just don’t call anyone, okay?” You had absolutely no reason to take seriously the words falling out of this stranger’s mouth. A con artist, a sweet talking rogue, a psychopathic cold blooded killer, he could be anything and everything gravely dangerous. 

Your faces were inches apart and you peered up at him through your lashes. He seemed to be a boy around your age, perhaps a bit older. His eyes were sealed shut and his face contorted in pain. His lips were chapped and drained of color, parted slightly as he let out short puffs of breath trying to hold on to whatever bit of composure that remained keeping him from screaming out in agony.Maybe you were about to make the mistake of a lifetime, a stupidity that could cost you your life, and perhaps even your mother’s. Maybe he was nothing but a beautiful nightmare, a beast with a seraphic face, and maybe falling for his deceptive innocence was going to be your biggest mistake yet.

 "So I just watch you bleed to death?“ the corners of his lips quirk up and a ghost of a smile plays on his lips. “Yes” he replies “You do exactly that.“ 


The hands of the clock race against each other at a frightening pace as the day flies by in a blink. Soon the fading sunset blends into the incoming night filling the little room with nothing but darkness once again. He does not look up at you even once in all those hours you spend sitting a few inches away from him on the floor, too afraid to move, too afraid to let him out of your sight. The slight rise and fall of his chest are the only indications of him still being alive but other than that he remains completely still. Your gaze wanders to the little window, the curtains fluttering around wildly at even the slightest touch of the winds. When the adrenaline has vanished from your blood stream, you can finally assess the damage of all the stupid impulsive decisions you’ve made ever since you discovered the injured intruder in your store. 

The events from a month back return to you in vivid details and you shudder. Looking at the broken boy in front of you, it is hard to put together any analogies between the two events, between the two intruders. Even though he sits crouched up the way he does, the boy’s face is finally peaceful like a child’s. He appears to be too lean, too… human and harmless, much unlike the burly shadow and its looming and intimidating presence, from your previous unfortunate encounter. There was something predatory in its stance and something venomous in its aura, traits the boy deep in his slumber clearly lacked.

You stand up, suppressing your groans as your legs feel like a thousand pin pricks. You needed to clean up the bloody mess the room was in. It takes almost an hour for you to get rid of the stains which seemed to have engrained themselves into the tiny ridges of the floor’s ageing wood.  Finally when the sting of bleach and disinfectant is way stronger than that of the metallic scent of blood which continues to faintly linger in the air you hear your mother’s car pull up in the driveway. 

You pretended like not a thing had changed in this entire universe during these past 24 hours, like you had not just given an intruder, a possible murderer shelter under the roof of your own house just because you felt sorry for the injured criminal. How were you supposed to explain to her the reason why you could not bring yourself to dial 911.  

 After serving dinner and catching up with your mother over it like any other day, you stayed up that night, pacing the hallway while your mother snored softly, sleeping peacefully in her own bedroom. Trying not to make any unnecessary sounds, you tiptoed to checked up on him twice, getting him a bottle of drinking water and changing his soiled towel for a fresh one. He looked too weak, too pale and your heart yearned for him to get better. Maybe you should have, afterall called an ambulance. But then his desperate plea echoes in your mind so you just stand at the crossroads unable to make a sensible decision, finally just choosing to go along with the wishes of the complete stranger. 

If anything was to go wrong that night, no one but you, yourself would be the one to blame. 

Morning comes when you are far too gone, deep asleep slumped in a chair close to your bed. You jolt awake when you hear a loud thump, like a heavy bag of sand falling loudly onto the wet ground. Apprehension causes you to bolt straight towards your mother's bedroom before you yank the door open. She’s still asleep, breathing and snoring under the covers, unharmed and you almost cry out with relief. 

Tip toeing, you head towards the store, almost not wanting to go in. You felt shaken up and unprepared, unsure as to what awaited you in the other side of the door. A lake of blood? A dead man? Gathering every ounce of courage you make your way in.

The curtains continue to flutter wildly, almost with a kind of desperation. As if they were dying to tell you the many secrets only they knew of. 

The boy was nowhere to be seen, and the cramped up space suddenly feels too huge without him in it.  

a/n- my updates are tragically slow n I’m forever sorry about my lack of motivation. I’ll try my best to post more frequently! thank you for sticking around :) feedbacks are welcomed *howls like a werewolf* *sounds more like a puppy* whoops. 

Swampert Aesthetic ; Second Place Prize for @mimoitei

Swampert is a bipedal Pokémon. It is very strong, with enough power to easily drag a boulder weighing more than a ton, batter down opponents, and swim faster than a jet ski. It has powerful vision, enabling it to see even in murky water. Swampert also has the ability to predict storms, sensing subtle differences in the sounds of waves and tidal winds with its fins.

Inspired by the concept art of the airport battle.


“You don’t understand what’s at stake here,” Iron Man reasoned as he hovered above her, deftly evading the debris she hurled his way.

Wanda gritted her teeth, “I know more than you think. I’m not a child!” Another car launched over her head, directed squarely at him.

Iron Man dodged it by mere inches. “Fine,” he growled. “Kid gloves are coming off.”

In the skies above, Vision, charged with ensuring no Avenger or otherwise was fatally injured, observed the chaos below. His ever-calculating eyes widened as Iron Man’s gauntlets charged up.

The unmistakable whirling of the pulsars caused Wanda’s heart to drop. Before she could materialize a shield or send a prayer to Pietro, she froze, truly petrified. Ruby tendrils continued to dance around her fingers, elegant and worthless.

From across the tarmac, Vision raced through the air, a primary protocol beginning to form. One that would overwrite all else and alter his existence for the remainder of his life: [Protect Wanda Maximoff]

“Argh!” Iron Man cried out as the familiar hand of his synthetic progeny shot through his chest, disabling the arc reactor within the suit. “Vision—what!” But the genius fell silent as the suit powered down, dropping like a rock to the ground.

“Vizh!” Wanda rushed to his side after he landed before her, dazed. “What are you doing?”

“Are you unharmed?” his voice was shaky as he surveyed her.

“I’m fine,” she assured him. “Are you okay? Why did you—”

“I don’t know,” he confessed, eyes wide as he glanced down at his quivering hands. “I don’t know, Wanda. Perhaps, I am malfunctioning?”

As Wanda began to reply, sirens began to howl in the distance. They both turned to see the quinjet take flight as what remained of Captain America’s allies were quickly subdued.

“Wanda,” Vision gripped her shoulders, peering down at her. “You must flee.”

Understanding sunk deep into Wanda’s gut as she recognized what her life had become. Everything was being torn apart. Her teammates, her friends, were now either her enemies or soon to be captured, their fates uncertain. Still, there was one soul she refused to surrender to this goddamned catastrophe. Resting her hands on his forearms, she breathed, “Come with me.”

The sirens grew louder as the wind whipped around them, yet her request pierced his ears with crystal clarity. He possessed no words, no phrase, that could express what he was experiencing in that moment. So, simply, he nodded.

Relief flooded through Wanda as she leapt into his arms. A hesitant smile formed on her lips as a familiar warmth blossomed in her breast. Gazing down at her, he smiled in return before he held her securely against his chest and took flight.

From the eye slits of the Iron Man mask, Tony Stark observed this exchange as he laid immobilized on the ground. “Well, shit,” he grumbled before Vision and Wanda sailed out of view.

Just One Day (Part 3)

Genre: Angst/fluff

Pairing: Reader/Jimin

Length: 1781

Summary: You’re hopelessly in love with Jimin, but he already has a girlfriend.

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Finale

“I imagine this all night every day because it’s a meaningless dream anyway…”

Originally posted by jiminuh

Keep reading

A HEART’S HEAVY BURDEN. Although Ahri has carelessly used her powers in the past to  STEAL  the life essence from the bodies of her chosen victims, I believe that with the passing of time, she has also learnt how to manipulate said  ABILITIES  in pursuance of offering  SOOTHING TRANQUILITY  , rather than pain. If you think of her lore, there is a part that says: 

❝ She instinctively devoured the essence leaving his body, and gained brief flashes of his memories - the lover he had lost in battle, his children from a strange land of iron and stone. She found she could push his emotions from fear to sorrow to joy, and charmed him with visions of a sun-soaked meadow as he died. ❞

This implies that she’s capable of modifying a person’s  PERCEPTION  of their feelings at will, just like she did in the case of the dying soldier. This makes me believe that she’s willing to do the  SAME  when witnessing the pain of someone she holds dear ━ For example, were she to notice the discomfort inside of someone’s heart, she’d  MANIPULATE  their feelings with the unique purpose of soothing whatever storm is currently raging within the other person’s soul, thus replacing it with tranquil images of flowers in bloom  &  cerulean skies. 

Of course, in this specific case, Ahri  DOES NOT FEED  on the person’s soul ; the effect is merely momentary  a very close vicinity between her  the other person is required in pursuance of enabling her to do so. Obviously, like many other things, using her powers in such a way might have some bad consequences, on either her own persona ( such a careless usage of her powers might  STRAIN  her to the point of eliciting prompt, bestial hunger within her ) or on the person she’s attempting at helping ( once the effect of her magic is over, the pain they were experiencing might come back, enhanced in its strength ) . 

I think that Ahri would really like to  HELP  the few people she cares about ━ She probably wouldn’t think of the immediate consequences that her actions might eventually carry, for she would solely focus on the importance of the brief moment of  SOLACE  that she’d be able to offer.

Path of the Totem Warrior: Pegasus

The white winged horses known as pegasi soar through the skies, a vision of grace and majesty.

Any sound or sign of another creature startles them, sending them off to fly once more among the clouds.


You gain Advantage on Charisma (Persuasion) and Charisma (Deception) Checks.


While you are Conscious, any creature who attempts to hide from you must make a Stealth check with Disadvantage.

On a Fail, you notice the Creature, and gain Surprise on this Creature.


While raging, as an Action, you can sprout a pair of feathery Pegasus wings from your back, gaining a flying speed equal to your current speed.

You can create these wings as an Action on Your Turn. They last until you dismiss them as a Bonus Action on Your Turn.

You can’t manifest your wings while wearing armor unless the armor is made to accommodate them, and clothing not made to accommodate your wings might be destroyed when you manifest them.

kemplet  asked:

1) I REALLY love your prompts <3!!! I find myself rereading them time to time! 2) I was wondering if u wouldn't mind doing one about the OXIII members being a mythical creature (vamp, witch, dragon, etc.), and their behavior towards their S/O? Thanks

Why thank you so much! I’m so glad you enjoy them so much! ^.^ even if I am slow heh… Wow interesting thought! I’m going to do these in a Headcanon style format ok? These are just my own opinions *obsessively searches Google*

Xemnas: Vampire. He’s cool, mysterious, charming and cruel. Personally he wouldn’t care much for his S/O unlike they do him, seeing them as merely another toy to use whenever he saw fit. But he’d play them in such away that they saw it as a warped sign of affection.

Xigbar: Incubus. He knows how to charm anyone to get what he wants. His S/O is no different but is almost immune to his seductive ways. He finds his S/O incredibly amusing, brightening up his existence pretty much each day. He protects them dearly from any harm.

Xaldin: Dragon. Soaring through the skies, he’d be a vision of greatness. But he wouldn’t have time for admirers, even with a S/O to call his own. He’d be cold towards them, but only for their safety. He’d have trouble opening up to them about his unique abilities.

Vexen: Yeti. His S/O would have found out his true nature by accident. The two would have struck up their relationship from trust, Vexen’s S/O the first and only person whom he could place his trust in and know they couldn’t tell anyone about his secret.

Lexaeus: Giant. He’d be reluctant to take a S/O, considering he might accidentally hurt them. Though that doesn’t stop them from trying to get close to him, seeing past his size and strength to the good heart underneath (durr hurr get it?)

Zexion: Nightmare. He’d find his S\O peculiar, if not interesting as not many people are so unaffected by his powers. He’d keep them around merely for study and as a play thing, finding his interactions with them highly amusing and insightful.

Saix: Werewolf I bet you all saw that one coming. His S/O would have to stay away from him during his episodes but generally, he’d look after them with care, protecting them from anyone else of his kind. He’d be worried if hurting them by mistake, taking precautions as to not get them involved.

Axel: Phoenix. He’d be loving and protective of his S/O, knowing their happiness was more important than his own. Despite being able to come back after death, it doesn’t stop him getting a thrashing from his S/O every time for ‘scaring them again’.

Demyx: Merman. His S\O would have been a victim, if it wasn’t for their lovely looks that stole his heart. He’d put himself at risk daily just to see them, longing to be more apart of their lives. The two would meet in quite coves or desolate beaches just to be together, finding that they both had a lot on common.

Luxord: Leprechaun. Not your typical small guy dancing round a pot of gold. He’d be cunning and wise, blending into his surroundings perfectly. His S/O would be lavished with wealth and luck, knowing full well he was to blame. He’d spoil them rotten, knowing a good mate rarely came around often.

Marluxia: Grim Reaper. He has a face of an angel but the heart of a demon. He’s cruel and calculating while holding no empathy for anyone or anything. His S/O would be the luckiest person ever, seeing as he happened to like them that much he spared their life. He’d treat them like they were lower than him but protects them from any danger.

Larxene: Siren. Her looks would draw anyone in as well as her voice, so that she could drag them down to the depths. Her S/O should count themselves lucky she had fallen for them instead of drowning them. She’d treat her S/O with care but also would warn them not to interfere with her 'activities’.

Roxas: Angel. He wouldn’t look like your typical Angel, no halo or pure white wings. Not on earth anyway. He’d keep his true nature a secret from his S/O, not because of lack of trust but to keep them safe. Some secrets are best left hidden.

I was tempted to make Vexen a Wendigo, but then again actual cannibal Vexen doesn’t bode well on the mind. Thank you for your ask!

~ Mod Star

AFTERGLOW - Lightsuit Segment

Presented by Philips TV and Atomic Skis
Featuring: Pep Fujas, Eric Hjorleifson, Daron Rahlves, and Chris Benchetler


From the depth of the creative visuals to the groundbreaking, never-been-done-before scale of the shoot, Afterglow is being hailed as one of the most cinematically profound ski movies ever made. Deep pillows and Alaskan spines, all filmed at night, with massive lights, custom made LED suits, and a national governments worth of logistics, planning, and civil engineering.

Filmed as a partnership between Sweetgrass Productions, Philips TV, and the Swedish Agency Ahlstrand & Wållgren, it’s two parts creativity, one part branded content, and a pinch of masochism for good measure. Overall, it’s an incredibly unique partnership between our vision of skiing and the color and light technology behind the Philips Ambilight TV.

view video here >

via Fubiz

Of Faults and Missed Chances

“You knew he loved your sister to the ends of the Earth! You knew he was sensitive, he’s the baby out of all us. You knew that!” Chanyeol screamed in frustration, tears streaming down his face. Yanking at his hair, he whipped around and grabbed Suho by the collars. A film of tears in his eyes, he shook the body of the man whom he called his friend, brother even. “Then why didn’t you just let them be? You knew Suho, you knew…”

Suho kept his mouth shut. He couldn’t bring it to himself to raise his eyes from the floor to meet Chanyeol’s eyes. Chanyeol was right. He knew that out of all of them Sehun had a soft heart. Despite his cold nature, he was the one that needed the most attention and care. And love.

His chest tightened as he thought of the younger boy.

It was all his fault.

A shaky breath left his lips, shivers running up his spine as he watched the snow fall around them. Dressed in nothing but a silky, black dress-shirt, he couldn’t even feel the cold. Arms limp at his side, he was barely standing on his own two feet. If it wasn’t for the raging Chanyeol hauling him up by the collar, he was sure he would have fallen to the floor in a slump. Head rolling back, he faced the night skies as the falling snowflakes kissed his face. Vision blurred, he looked up at the sky, he certainly deserved to be left as trash on the ground at the moment.

He was supposed to be the group’s leader; the shoulder to cry on, the person to talk to, to one to come to when they needed comfort. But he failed them all this time.

It was all his fault.

Turning the cold, silver phone in his hand, Kai gazed at it, his heart heavy. Unlocking it, he held the phone up to his ear. Replaying a certain voicemail again, he listened with a sad smile as a particularly lispy, bright voice filled his ear.

“…Yah, Kai-ah, don’t stay up too late. Sleep tight!” And the voicemail ended with a click.

With nothing on the other end of the line, his hand fell into his lap, all of his energy completely gone. He felt cold, the room felt cold. He wasn’t even in his body anymore.

He no longer felt the softness of the carpet beneath him nor the fluffiness of the bed behind him. He felt nothing. Silence had simply embraced him all together. The emptiness was like a void.

Was this how Sehun felt earlier that week?

This empty feeling in his stomach and heart, his mind a blank slate as he stared up at the starry night. An intangible darkness that just slowly consumed the whole body.

Choking back a sob, Kai gripped the phone in his hand tighter, bringing it to his head.

It was all his fault.

He knew that Sehun had a knack for prank calling all of the members at the craziest hours of the night but he should have answered either way, like he always did. He should have picked up.

But he didn’t.

He muted his phone and threw it somewhere on the floor that night. He heard his phone vibrate again not long after he denied the first call, yet he simply pulled his covered above his head and closed his eyes.

He should have answered.

It was all his fault.

Glaring at the phone in his hand, Kai sighed. Squeezing his eyes shut, he couldn’t take it anymore. Chucking the object at the wall, he watched as a thin hairline crack appear onto the phone’s screen before falling back to the ground.

Screaming into the night, he stood to his feet. Dizzy from the sudden movement, Kai didn’t care as he headed over to his desk. Breathing ragged, he slammed his hands down on the table. Knuckles turning white from how hard he was gripping the edge, he let his anger get the best of him.

The items that were once on his desk were now on the floor, in pieces a moment later, including a particular picture frame.

Falling to his knees, Kai picked up the now shattered frame. Tears dripping on the exposed photo, he clutched it to his chest, not caring that the frame’s glass shards were digging into his skin.

It was all his fault.

Head resting in his arms on top of the counter, Baekhyun allowed his vision to become nothing but a white blur. Dipping his finger in the tear droplet that fell from his eyes to the table, he bit back a sob. Drawing a smiley from the single droplet, he let his tears fall freely from his eyes. This time, he didn’t bother to hold it back.

The stupid brat always had a thing for overusing the emoji keyboard. Regardless of who he was texting to or what he was texting about, he had always tacked on an emoji. Sometimes ten of the same one.

A broken laugh escaped from his chapped lips as Baekhyun looked back at the conversations he had had with Sehun. There were more emojis than letters to be honest. No one could really understand Sehun’s method of texting, but slowly Baekhyun did. The younger one wasn’t all that well with words so emojis were his best friend when it came to texting.

Ruffling his bangs roughly, Baekhyun dropped his head to the surface of the table, not caring that he did it a little harder than normal. He deserved it.

It was all his fault.

He should have knew that emojis had always meant something to Sehun. He should have knew those random emojis that he got in the middle of the night meant something. It wasn’t just something that Sehun had done to do on the whim. He should have been able to read into them more.

But he didn’t.

Instead he was out driving out in the night with Chen, Lay, and Kyungsoo. With his head hanging out of the car, feeling the cold, winter winds kiss his cheeks red, he ignored the random emojis that he had received. He had told Kyungsoo to turn the music louder, and hit the accelerator a little more.

He wanted to be free that night.

And free was what he got now as he sat here in the empty bar, feeling nothing. He wasn’t even sure if his heart was beating anymore.

It was all his fault.

Gripping the steering wheel, Kyungsoo cried. And shouted. Hitting the steering wheel with his fist, he cried out into the night.

Arcade night was Sehun’s thing. He was one that started the Friday night tradition.

Kyungsoo should’ve known something was wrong with the younger boy when he rejected the invitation with a sad smile and a whisper of, “Goodbye, hyung.”

He should have known.

He knew that Sehun was never the same coming from Suho’s house that one night. That he knew. That’s why he had invited Sehun to come along with him to the arcade with the rest of them. He, himself, was a quiet person so that’s why he had pulled Baekhyun, Chen, and Lay along.

He missed the way Sehun lips would thin out before curling up into that baby smile of his. He missed the way that younger boy’s eyes were crinkle up into little crescents. He missed the times that Sehun smiled more than he would talk.

It was all his fault.

He should have pulled the boy into his arms, threatening to drink all of his boba tea in the fridge if he didn’t come with them to the arcade that night. He should have taken him regardless of Sehun’s answer.

But he didn’t.

He thought the boy needed some time to himself, to think, to pull himself back together, to mend all the broken pieces.

Now, no matter how much tape or glue, no one would ever be able to fill the void in his chest.

It was all his fault.

They had laid on the white ground for the past two hours of their lives.

None of the boys had said anything when Suho and Chanyeol showed up looking scuffed up with busted lips and bloody noses. They simply averted their eyes back towards the night skies, vision blurred as they let the snow continue to fall on them, the coldness numbing their hearts.

Chanyeol had parted from Suho and took his spot at the end near Kyungsoo while Suho laid down in the middle of them all. As he laid down, they all breathed out together, watching their breaths fog up the night.

Gazing at Sehun in the spot between Chanyeol and Kyungsoo, Suho opened his mouth but had to closed it immediately as his emotions got the better of him. Choking on his own tears, he threw an arm over his eyes.

The rest listened to each other’s shuddering breaths and cries as they tried to hold back their own, with no avail.

Rubbing his eyes until it burned, he opened up his mouth again to say that he was sorry but he choked up before he could. Suho felt Kai grasp his hand tightly as the usually loud boy bit his lips, attempting to hold back his tears. Suho then felt two taps on his palm. Glancing over at the boy beside him, he was faced with a pair of lifeless, brown eyes staring back at him. He watched as the boy ran a hand down his face before opening his mouth to say something.

“Sehun-ah…,” as Kai stopped after uttering the maknae’s name, Suho gave his hand a reassuring squeeze, urging him to continue on. “Sehun-ah…, I’m sorry that I was being a bad friend who valued sleep more than a call from his best friend… his brother… his family. I’m sorry that I didn’t picked up. I’m sorry that I didn’t know how much you wanted to talk to me and how much I was going to miss your late night calls with your extremely annoying baby voice. I’m sorry…” Laughing at the end of his sentences, Kai fought hard to stop his voice from cracking, but it did anyways.

Sobbing uncontrollably, he allowed Baekhyun to take him into his arms, patting him lightly on the shoulders.

As he held Kai in his arms, Baekhyun’s shaky breath whistled through air, “And I’m sorry for not taking your emojis seriously maknae. Knew you had a special language of your own but I should’ve attempted to figure out what you were saying Sehun. I’m sorry I didn’t bother to try because I wanted to be free of responsibility for a night. But as your older brother, I should have replied but I didn’t, I’m so sorry, Sehun…”

At the end of the group, Kyungsoo whispered ever so softly into the night but they all heard it, “I’m sorry, Sehun-ah. It was your night, I should have pulled you along. I should have…” He couldn’t continue his sentence anymore, it was all too much. Glancing at the said boy beside him, he mouthed, ‘I’m sorry’ once more before letting his cries rack through his whole body.

Chanyeol returned his gaze from the skies to the younger boy beside him, smiling a broken smile. He reached over and ruffled Sehun’s hair, “Hey, Sehunnie. I see that you’re drinking boba tea…, was it good from where you got it from?”

A weak laugh came from him as Chanyeol waited for the younger boy to reply.

He didn’t.

“I bet it tastes amazing. Well, drink all the boba tea you want because we all know that you won’t be gaining any weight anytime soon.”

At this particular comment, the rest of the boys’ hearts cracked just a little more, eyes filling up with tears.

Shaking his head, Chanyeol jumped up and stood in one fluid motion. Standing there with his head down for a moment, he sighed, heart breaking yet a little more as he looked down tenderly at the maknae of the group. Clutching his chest in pain, he blew a sigh out into the night, his chest burning even more.

One by one, each of them dusted themselves and tried to recomposed themselves. Standing a step behind Chanyeol, Kyungsoo and Baekhyun held Kai in their arms, trying to stop him from crying but it was pointless as they were just as equally as bad. Xiumin stood to the side, hands in his pockets, tears running down his cheeks. Chen and Lay couldn’t take it anymore so they had turned their backs away from everyone, yet it didn’t stop them from stealing sad glances at Sehun. 

Suho was the last to get up; his movements slow, his heart heavy with guilt. Walking over to Sehun, he placed his cold hands onto the boy’s warm cheeks. Tears staining the boy’s shirt, he allowed the winter winds to carry his ‘sorry’ into the dark of night.

Bringing his arm up to wipe away his tears, Suho stuttered between chattering teeth, “Well, us hyungs just wanted to stop by… and say Merry Christmas to our favorite maknae in the world…” At his words, the corner’s Sehun’s lips curled up into a light smile.

Swallowing his tears, Suho whispered, “Merry Christmas Sehun-ah.”

The warmth beneath his fingers turned icy cold. The tender skin of Sehun’s baby face, melted away into nothing but a hard, ebony surface. The pair of lips that curled up into a smile turned into sets of lines engraved into marble.

Oh Sehun

A loved singer, a cherished friend, an irreplaceable brother.

April 12, 1994 - December 10, 2015

Forever in our minds.

Forever in our hearts.

We Are One.

Lawd… I’m a crying mess… Why did I decide to write this and post this..?

Well, if you’re feeling particularly sad tonight and needed a reason to cry, read this as you listen to the boys’ new MV.

I apologize in advance for all the tears I’ve caused or will cause.

Night everyone~

- Admin KP

Colors - Luke one shot

// you’re only happy when your sorry head is filled with dope //

*past tense*

He’s so beautiful, something so beautiful consuming something so ugly, I want to take it out of his hand but I knew he wouldn’t like it. “Could you take it easy on that please?” He looked up at me with that God damn perfect smirk of his and I almost forgot what I had said. “Would you like some baby girl?” Clearly he wasn’t getting my point here and I rolled my eyes only making him smirk even more. If I could wipe that smirk off his face I would, but I couldn’t I’d end up kissing him. “You really shouldn’t do this much amount of drugs…” His smirk was gone. He looked almost hurt that I had said that and it made me panic. “We can’t all be happy on our own princess” he scoffed. I thought about it but it didn’t make sense. “What do you mean?” “This darling is my gate to happiness and there’s no way I’m gonna cut down the amount I use” “You could try, you can be happy without it” He looked at me with wandering eyes and he shook his head. “People like you don’t understand happiness isn’t something we’re all privileged with.” “Luke please I didn’t mean to upset you its just this isn’t good for you, you could die from this.” “So I’ll die happy as long as I have drugs by my side.”

 // you’re spilling like an overflowing sink, you’re ripped at every edge but you’re a masterpiece and now I’m tearing through the pages and the ink //

 *past tense*

 I was in tears, I look down at my hands and I couldn’t mutter a word. “No no baby girl please don’t cry please I love you okay” he wiped the tears away from my face and I was confused he was the one crying minutes ago and here I am being selfish crying when he’s the one that needs help. I looked down on my hands and all I saw was the blood and I looked back at him and it was gone. But how did he clean himself up that fast? He shook his head and pulled me to the shower and undressed me. Was he really gonna clean me up? No this is wrong. I should be comforting him. “Baby girl talk to me please tell me you’re okay” his voice cracked and that was enough to have me sobbing again. “Why didn’t you tell me Luke I would’ve helped you I could have prevented this no don’t you understand how much I love you?! Why would you hurt yourself?!” “I’m unhappy and you know that, don’t take this out on your self” he rinsed me down carefully and I couldn’t look at his arms I closed my eyes shut and tried to erase the image of his open wounds. “You’re so beautiful, you’re amazing to me, I’m sorry I can’t make you happy enough.” There it was I was being selfish again. “This isn’t about you princess, I love you so god damn much but I’m far from being amazing, I’m a mess and I sadly pulled you into my chaotic bliss.” He pulled me out of the bath and wrapped me with a towel and he pulled me close kissing the top of my head and I looked up at him. “Why are you doing this, you’re the one here that needs help I should be comforting you.” He bit his lip and I knew that he was doing some serious thinking when he did that. “Because you matter to me more than I matter to myself. I’m so sorry you deserve so much better. I’m dragging you down my beautiful princess you shouldn’t be with me.” And I shook my head no no no I refused to leave him. I love him and he’s a beautiful masterpiece to me he just had a little flaws but we all do. We all get a little torn at the edges sometimes and that’s exactly what had been happening to him.

 // Everything was grey, His hair, his smoke, his dreams, And now he’s so devoid of color, doesn’t know what it means //

 *present tense*

 I saw him today. I felt my stomach churn and I wanted to throw up. He looked miserable. His blonde beautiful hair appeared grey his once light beautiful pale skin had darken to an upsetting grey loosing it’s glow. Never the less the only thing that remained the same was that grey smoke coming from the cigarette that dangled from his lips always right next to his lip piercing. I wanted to go up to him and tell him I still love him I’m still there for him but I couldn’t I hid away before he saw me. I closed my eyes and everything rushed back to me. 

 *past tense*

 "I will always care for you, even if we’re not together and even if we’re far, far away from each other.“ “Luke can you please not, not this again.” Each time he said something like that I felt myself break inside a little. I saw it the look on his eyes he was getting worse. He was hardly ever happy and not even the drugs could cheer him up now. “I hate you.” My heart skipped a beat and I immediately felt my eyes tear up. “Luke….” “You made me love you in the first place, and that’s why I hate you.” “Luke please” and there it was the tears started streaming down my face but he didn’t seem to notice he was distraught in his own thoughts and I knew that was deadly for him. “I feel empty, I’m torn inside dear.” “You want to talk about it like we always do?” I hated when he talked like that I would give him the world I try so hard to make him happy but I’m running out of things here and sometimes I wonder if I’m to blame for his sadness. “I don’t know dear, I just want to bring color to my skies.”

 // you were a vision in the morning when the lights came through, I know I’ve only felt religion when I’m lying with you….. And I’m still waking every morning but it’s not with you // 

 *Present tense*

 It’s been a month. I still wake up and look beside me but he’s not there. I always hope he’ll get the alarm clock every morning like he used to and then pull me closer to him and mumble fuck the alarm we’ll get up when we want to. I wanted to feel his lip ring cold against my back when he’d kiss me there trying to wake me up. I didn’t hear it, I blocked my own crying and I hadn’t realized I burst into tears. The only thing that hit me was how unhappy I was without him. He was bad for me. I should’ve listened to him. As much as I see him as my sunshine, he’s what makes my eyes tear, he’s the thoughts in my head that rip me apart, and I love him but fucking hell his absence is killing me. I collapsed into my pillow crying and everything went black. 

*Past tense*

 "Baby girl wake up” “No” I groaned and felt him smile against my back. It was just another morning but they were special to me, he seemed happy he wasn’t breaking in the mornings. I turned around to face him and his blue eyes were brighter than ever and he had sleepy eyes and his hair was flat but he looked wonderful and I loved it. “Could you stop staring at me your fond is showing” a smile was plastered onto his face and I shook my head at him and kissed him quickly before hiding my face on his chest. “Babeeeeeee” he whined and I stuck my tongue out at him and he lifted my face up so he could see me and the rush of butterflies hit me. The light in his eyes, he looked at me like I was everything he had been looking for all his life.

 *present tense* 

I woke up again and my pillow was wet and I wanted to cry all over because I couldn’t remember if I was dreaming everything up or if it had actually happened? It seemed so real and for the sake of my well being I told myself I was dreaming but I knew far to well in my heart it had happened and this is why I hate mornings so much now. 

 // And now I’m covered in the colors, Pulled apart at the seams, it makes me blue, It makes me blue // 

 *present tense*

 "You’re staring at him again" I looked up at Calum confused. “What? I didn’t hear you I’m sorry..” “You’re staring at him. I get you didn’t expect to see him here but you could at least try to not stare him down.” “Do you think he saw me?” “I don’t know.” “You’re not much help.” I rolled my eyes and frantically tried to look for him he had moved places but all I wanted was to see if I could get a rush of butterflies again. Ever since he left my heart feels broken and I have this weird feeling in my stomach and it’s like all the butterflies he used to give me just died. “He made you a mess y/n, could you at least try to forget him.” “He has nothing to do with the way I am now.” “You let him into your life and he fucking destroyed you.” Ouch. But I saw him I just wanted to catch quick glimpses of him but Calum was beyond done with my shit right now and I’m the one who told him to come along with me but I denied myself the reason I brought him out here was so he could tell me about Luke since he hangs out with him and I just wanted to know how he’s doing. “They do say the things we love the most is what destroys us.” He shook his dead and I can see the disapproval in his face. “You might as well just go up and talk to him.” I felt sick to my stomach was he really fucking serious right now? He wanted me to go talk to him? “What would I say?” That’s a lie I knew damn right what I would say. Everyone warned me about you Luke including yourself but I didn’t listen. I had hope that we could make it, that you and me were in this relationship in a forever kind of way, but that hope fucked me up and you killed me the day you ended us. “Stop thinking so much it only hurts you. It’s simple he’s the plague yet you wanted to catch that. He’s a disease that you wanted to be infected with and yet you were so surprised when he ended up killing you internally since you’re physically alive.” Fucking hell don’t cry. Don’t cry. “I’m sorry y/n I shouldn’t have said that I’m being a complete douche, but you want the truth if he had really loved you he wouldn’t have left you broken like this. You don’t destroy the people you love.” He frowned and quickly wiped the tears away from my face and I winced that wasn’t the touch I had come accustomed to. That wasn’t Luke’s touch and where I could look up to him and cry onto his chest and he’d kiss every single tear away. “I love him.” But it was true the most painful thing I had done in that relationship was losing myself in the process of loving him too much, and somewhere in between I forgot I was as special too and focused on only him being special. “Um y/n he’s looking over here…” And as much as I wanted to talk to him one more time I started crying even more and just like that Calum understood and took me back home with out another word being mentioned about him.

 // You were red and you liked me ‘cause I was blue, You touched me and suddenly I was a lilac sky, And you decided purple just wasn’t for you //

 *the beginning* 

“ y/n …. Don’t get me wrong on this I love the name but I much rather call you my baby girl, of course only if you permit me beautiful princess.” I looked down and felt the heat in my cheeks he was leaning back on the wall and he had this smirk on his face that looked like nothing could wipe it away. I’d seen him around a few times and only until now I gotten the courage to talk to him. “Did I come off too strong? My apology princess how about this, we ditch this party and I take you out somewhere more quiet and nice?” “How about you tell me your name first?” I giggled and wow I’m lame and he chuckled. “I’ve been informed that you know my name princess, in fact I’ve been told you know a lot about me that you have a little spy my dear.” Fuck, fucking hell Calum blew the cover, I couldn’t help to blush even more and I shrugged not wanting to deny or confirm anything. “My name is Luke.” And he kissed my hand and the cold touch of his lip ring made me shiver and his smirk grew and if I didn’t know any better I would have sworn he was a beautiful angel within my dreams. “Well Luke, where exactly would you take me?” And I raised an eyebrow trying to look somewhat intimidated but he only laughed. “You’re cute I’ll give you that for trying to look intimidating.” “Who said I was trying, I strongly think I was pulling it off actually.” And the smirk was gone only to be replaced with the most beautiful grin I’ve encountered in my life. “I’ll take you somewhere special how does that sound?” “Define special you could be taking me to a basement for all I know.” And he laughed and God damn this boy is heavenly and he made my knees go weak. “I mean it’s not a basement but it’s special to me.” “How many times have you told that to other girls?” And he yet still remained smiling. “Would you be surprised if I told you, you were the first. Now not because you’re beauty knocked the wind out of my lungs and I struggled breathing a few seconds when I saw you but because Calum has told me a lot about you and quite frankly I wouldn’t mind taking you there.” “Right but where is exactly there?” And he bit his lip and shrugged. “Not anything cool maybe lame for you, but it’s this old tree house from when I was younger and it’s still my special place.” “You want to take me to a special place that has meaning to you?” And he only nodded and for the first time this night he blushed and I agreed to go and somewhere in my heart I felt I wouldn’t regret this.

 *the middle*

 Whatever this feeling was I loved it. I’m falling for him I love him but I didn’t know it was possible to fall for someone more and more each day and it’s lovely and feels magical. “I want all of you. Your body, your heart, your soul.” He mumbled while kissing my hand. We were hidden away in the tree house our safe haven our special place as he declared it because it was no longer just his special place it was my special place too. “ I’m in love with you and I’ve never been in love before baby girl, before you I thought I knew what love was but then I found out with you and what it really was and I have true love with you, and Jesus y/n I’m in love with you.” In that moment I smiled like an idiot and we were just cuddling and even though I’m with him I looked up at him and holy fucking hell I love him a lot. We were both smiling at one another and it feels so perfect and I love these moments so much with him. “I want you. All of you. Your flaws and your imperfections and I want you and only you.” And the moment I said that his eyes sparkled and the blue was more visible and lighten into a different beautiful shade of blue. He was smiling and that God damn smile made my heart beat faster and caused an uproar in my stomach with all the butterflies. He pulled me up on his lap facing him so I could straddle him and he’d cupped my face kissing me slow and passionate and I felt the cold lip ring and it only made my butterflies worse because I could never get use to his sweet kisses and the feeling of that cool piece of metal. “Can’t promise that’s things won’t be broken but I swear that I’ll never leave.” “Are you really using sleeping with sirens lyrics on me?” And he’d grinned and nodded his head excitedly and I giggled at his cute reaction. “You know baby girl you’re the most wonderful person I’ve ever met and I can’t imagine not having you in my life.” “I guess we owe a huge thanks to Calum then for telling us about one another.” “That sneaky shit I’m grateful he did tho and how he talked about you I would have fallen in love that instant but I wanted to wait and see if he wasn’t over exaggerating, but he wasn’t and I can never thank him enough.” “All I ever wanna do is be with you.” And he leaned his forehead against mine and I stuck my tongue out at him and he scrunched his nose looking cuter than ever and I sighed too loudly and that was it his love drove me insane and the accurate representation of it was me sighing each time because life was finally an actual dream and I didn’t have to wake up from it. “I love you baby girl.” “I love you too.”

 *the end* 

 "I love you.“ The tears were streaming down my face and never had I thought we would reach this point. “Yeah sure, whatever princess.” “What fuck is wrong with you all I’ve ever done is love you why are you leaving me?!” And his lip quivered and he pulled out a cigarette and lit it up letting it dangle from his mouth until he decided what to say pulling it away. “I’m sorry darling I’m broken and I thought I was getting better but they’ve all broken me. I’m so sorry that I’ve disappointed you. I’ve put your through hell and you deserve so much better baby girl.” “Luke if it’s about you thinking I don’t deserve you please give that idea up I want to be with you I don’t mind I love you only you.” “It’s just each time I think it’s going well I try really hard to be happy but I fuck it all up again and I think I shouldn’t be happy and I shouldn’t drag someone as precious as you along with my shit because look what I’ve done to you I tainted something so beautiful that was once so innocent.” But I shook my head in denial and dropped down to my knees and I buried my face into my hands trying to muffle the sounds of my sobbing and he was crying too and I felt him pull my hands away from my face and hold them and he kissed them and I couldn’t dare to look at him and I kept shaking my head and pulled my hands away from him. “No no no fuck you. I fucking hate you. You can’t just leave me like this broken without you. You said you wouldn’t leave and you lied to me you have no fucking right to come into my life make me feel special and then leave. YOU CANT FUCKING DO THAT.” and I started chocking on my words and sobbed horribly. “No baby girl I keep so much pain inside myself and I hold it in my chest and it hurts so much it’s changed me and I don’t want you to be with someone so toxic like me I never meant to get worse and pull you down with me but I don’t recognize myself and I have to go.” And he was crying hard too and we both must look ridiculous crying our hearts out. I wanted to say something back but it hurt I couldn’t breathe I felt a pain in my chest far too painful that sunk into the rest of my body not letting me talk and my heart wanted to jump out of my chest and I couldn’t stop shaking my head. I did everything I could for him and I put everything into this relationship and I felt betrayal he’s made me into such a mess, I used to be happy once but it was all gone once I invested all my time to him and I can’t believe it myself be so affected by him each time he was hurt I was hurt when he cried I cried we were in this together trying to fight his sadness together. “You can’t leave me if you love me.” Is all I could manage to say. I saw his face drop and he wiped his tears away. “I’m sorry…” And he walked away and shut the door and everything hit me too fast he had left he had really left and my vision became blurry and I crawled into a ball lying on the floor and I cried harder than I ever did before. Everything was blue and he ripped me apart and left me.

Triad Of Misery

My darling, she haunts these woods.
Her soft supple throat still held by the noose.
Ebony tides ride her eyes, occasioning doleful nights.
They pass in fear, holding her dear watching this crippling sight.

Constrict my tongue in all consuming
haimish longing, a marriage derived
from the expiration of irisis’ extracted
from memory - I want to be the waves
repeating their send off; I want to learn
how to break without falling apart.

Melancholic spree, a quiet awakening,
Long lost scratching of the clouds against the sky.
The night came with seizures and nonnative visions.
Ancient skies arrived, darkness is nigh.

Oh! How breathless these trees and devout the seas, calling the time, tide after tide.
I fell for her eyes, her post-death cries,
My heart was a flower picked by the hands of her evil advice.

Foreclose the insatiable delusion
we hang meaning to the internment
of days transcribed in the hallows
of our lament nights, we may be
numbered, but the nimble
subtly of displaced desire binds
your name & I will castrate sunlight
for captions.

Shall I give you life? Shall I take someone else’s? What may I do to keep you alive?
The surrender of death to the eyes that are blind, the tongue that speaks no more and the blasphemic life.

Amassed from the mire, darkness desire and spoke to me from the bowels of hell.
Violence for her eyes, the setting sun in her life, I asked from them.

We sought ample residential
vacancy amongst myrid deicibles
doubling with the inference of lilt;
I will fall for anything if you let me
& darling, my heart may be closed
for renovation, but I still look at
my hands & think of all the ways

I could’ve held you instead.

© Aniket More
© Alexa McLeod

—  a collab with the lovely, @aniketadeptinmacabre