I’ve been out shooting dusk a lot this week but for now can’t share any of the shots. my normal methods of editing are upended and I keep getting banding artifacts on low light edits. I’ll sort it out and when I do the floodgates will open.
It is knowing that you have less of a chance of waking up tomorrow than most people.
It is knowing that you will have to have injections for the rest of your life.
It is having days where you feel like shit because your blood sugar will not come down.
It is waking up at 2am, having your blood sugar be 54, and having to scarf down 10 packs of fruit snacks, gummies, juice, until you can stop shaking, until it no longer feels like every cell in your body is dying.
It is knowing that it is your cells dying from lack of glucose.
it is knowing that you can’t do anything with your BG about 250, because you will start killing your already dying cells.
It is not having anyone take your illness seriously.
It is having people say “Well just lose some weight.” or “Just diet” or “Just eat better”
It is knowing that none of those things will make your illness go away.
It is having to stay home from skiing, fencing, swimming, running, doing, because your blood is off.
It is having calluses on you fingers, bruises on your arms, legs, stomach back.
It is having your favorite injection site, favorite finger, favorite gummy.
It is being a connoisseur of candy.
It is knowing how many carbs you need to get your BG up.
It is ignoring that number and eating carbs until you finally stop shaking.
It is having your blood shoot up 30 minutes later because you ignored your number.
It is being a roller-coaster of blood sugars.
It is having a piece of technology that is attached to you keeping you alive.
It is having that technology fall out of your pocket, catch on a door, and pull on the site where you have a cannula stuck in you.
It is weight gain from your insulin.
It is carb counting.
It is having shitty thyroids, kidneys, liver, reproductive organs, because your body attacked itself.
It is having PCOS because your hormones and chemical balance is shit.
It is having days where you just want to be done with having to fight to be alive all the time.
It is not healing because your cells are either starving or drowning in glucose almost all the time.
It is a disgusting taste in your mouth when your blood is high.
My childhood was elegant homes, tree-lined streets, the milkman, building backyard forts, droning airplanes, blue skies, picket fences, green grass, cherry trees. Middle America as it’s supposed to be. But on the cherry tree there’s this pitch oozing out – some black, some yellow, and millions of red ants crawling all over it. I discovered that if one looks a little closer at this beautiful world, there are always red ants underneath. Because I grew up in a perfect world, other things were a contrast.
• Free Melania
• Mike Pence likes Nickelback
• My pussy grabs back
• Keep your tiny orange hands off my healthcare
•You can’t build a wall with hands that small
• If I wanted the government in my womb I’d fuck a senator
• Pizza rolls not gender roles
• Trump is a fart
• We shall overcome not overcomb
• Think… while it’s still legal
• Non-violent civil disobedience
• Be the change… we are the light
• A woman’s place is in the resistance (w/ pic of Leia)
• The Handmaiden’s Tale is not an instruction manual
• Listen more tweet less
• Truck Fump Puck Fence
• Trump Skis in Jeans
• You can’t grab my pussy but you can kiss my ass
• Teaching years=9 Grizzly attacks=0
• “Oh, Donald. Put your tiny hands in mine.”-Putin (Probably)
• Pussies! Now with extra teeth!
Other things seen:
• Toy horse on a stick wearing a pussy hat
• Lady Liberty’s torch
• A papier mache pussy with a sign on it saying “Hands off!”
• Guy purposefully sneezing loudly into handkerchief with Trump’s face on it
• Guy wearing Bernie hoodie and leggings under shorts