The bride has dreamt of her wedding day since she was a little girl, but little did she know about having to consider not only the dreams that her parents had of their daughters big day, but also the parents of the groom, who have also been dreaming of plans for their son’s big day!
Now it comes down to the bride, the groom, parents of the bride, and parents of the groom. Most commonly, thats about 6 people with 6 different visions and ideas for one big day. And then you wonder why there’s so much family drama during wedding planning!
This is a hot topic in all my meetings for wedding planning and I think its about time I give my two cents on the issue.
The brides that have these type of parents which they didn’t, and the one’s that don’t, wish they do. The over-spender parents are the ones that believe Money is Love. They want to shower their child with so much money for the wedding to show their love and support for the big day. This means, the over-the-top venue, the over-the-top catering package, the over-the-top decor, [I think you get my point]. This is great if you’ve grown up always wanting a big wedding, and your husband and his parents have the budget to go over-the-top with the wedding as well, but most commonly, one side of the family wants to spend more/less than the other. Now comes the pressure on you. Communication is key. Be sure to have a sit-down with both sides of the families to determine a budget both sides are comfortable with!
These parents are the most difficult to deal with. The ones that think Money is Power. They feel that since they are helping out financially with the wedding, then the wedding should be the way they want it to be. This may mean, controlling the program of the day, or the layout of the hall, or even worse, what outfit you should wear! You can’t dare to disagree with them, because they may just take back their money and you’ll feel as if you’ve disappointed them. No one wants upset parents during wedding season.
The Never Changers
So old mom is jealous that you are about to gain a new mom. She needs to mark her territory and make sure you listen to all her decisions, and most of them will be against the grooms mom’s decisions. No one likes change. All you have to do is assure your parents that even if you are calling someone else ‘Mom’ now too, doesn’t make her less of the amazing mom she’s always been for you!
This one is by far the most common. These parents are the ones that go shopping for vendors without you and pick and choose venues and menus and music all on their own as if your opinion doesn’t matter. They always assure you that you’ll love what they choose but how can they be so sure? Don’t worry. Even if a deposit has been given, the details aren’t concrete until you finalize them. A little compromise on choosing the vendor can be minor, long as you get your choice at the end. Make sure to communicate with both sets of parents about your choices and come to a healthy compromise before finalizing details! Most vendors can deliver what you want for your dream wedding!
So Don’t Stress! You’re not alone! Just remember that wedding planning is just another test you have to go through to make sure your bond with your future husband is strong enough to make everyone around you happy!