sketchy matter

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partially coherent ramblings on Anakin Skywalker and Kylo Ren, because I can’t get Star Wars off my mind right now:

Despite all of the parallels that are drawn throughout the films, the two of them are almost nothing alike–hell, in a lot of ways they’re polar opposites. They may have both ended up on the Dark Side, but the paths they walked couldn’t be any more different.

Anakin Skywalker was born a slave. He grew up being considered property, and the only reason he won his freedom was because a maverick Jedi named Qui-Gon Jinn was willing to risk his entire mission out of faith that Anakin could succeed. And that must have been overwhelming for nine-year-old Anakin. Qui-Gon was probably the first person since his mother to be so overtly supportive–especially considering that the price of Anakin’s freedom was being separated from his mother.

Yet Anakin’s conflicted feelings over that are immediately jumped on by the Council. “Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.” That’s the path to the Dark Side as Yoda laid it out–and the way that Yoda laid it out couldn’t have been much more accusatory if he’d tried. Yoda, and the rest of the council, made it clear that they expected nothing of Anakin. He was dismissed as “too old” and “too emotional.” Qui-Gon was the only one willing to stick his neck out for Anakin, up to the point of defying the Jedi Council, because he believed Anakin was worth it. For a brief time, Qui-Gon was the closest thing that Anakin had to a father figure. And then he died.

What is it that Anakin feared? I would argue that he was afraid of losing the people important to him, and that fear was shown to be justified. He was plagued by nightmares of his mother’s death, and arrived just in time to see them proven true. I have no doubt that Anakin blamed himself for that–what if he had gone to see her years earlier? Months? Days? She might have survived. So when he begins having the same visions about his wife, it doesn’t matter how sketchy Palpatine is–all that matters it that he’s offering his help, where the Council would offer only condemnation. He’s tried to follow their precepts, to be the Jedi that he’s supposed to be, but they still don’t believe in him. The last part of Anakin’s character arc, leading up to his fall, is basically a Greek tragedy. Every measure that he takes to fight his fate only draws him nearer to it. In the end, he loses everything. And it isn’t hate that finally pushes him over the edge of the Dark Side: it’s despair. Everything that he did–every betrayal and moral compromise–came to nothing in the end.

And then, after years of suffering as Darth Vader, he’s given a chance he never expected to have. Luke is in front of him, begging for help, knowing that his father is the only chance he has of survival. And Anakin hears him. Anakin has lost enough of his family. He isn’t going to watch while he loses more, even if it means his own death. No, that single action doesn’t atone for all the years Anakin spent doing the Emperor’s bidding–but damn it all, he tried.

Kylo Ren, on the other hand? He grew up with everything. His parents were two of the most beloved figures in the galaxy. His uncle was the first new Jedi in a generation, bringing a gentler and less rigid interpretation of the Order’s principles. He had everything he could have ever needed.

And yet, he turned away. He chose to leave his family behind. And when he came to the same precipice that Anakin had before him, Kylo Ren made the opposite choice. He killed his own father.

Anakin Skywalker’s life was defined by loss, in spite of (and sometimes because of) his attempts to prevent it.

Kylo Ren’s life was defined by privilege. His losses were self-inflicted.


i fucking…. i couldnt sleep so i did an animation of my dnd campaign to a hamilton song because. because i can. being an artist means i can make anything i want exist and no one an stop me. fuck you

Cupid’s Blind

Words: 7349

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Angel!Au

Summary: One - lovers are tied by red strings. Two - you hate love. Three - a certain angel literally cannot say ‘no’ to ‘please’

Notes: Gif

“I wonder what love feels like…”

You whip your head around, stopping in the middle of the crosswalk as the rest of the crowd pulls past you. The surroundings haze as if the world is being tugged away until everything is but a picture from a distance and you are in darkness. You swear you’ve heard a voice, a warm breath tickling your ear but no one’s there. Except, you catch a moving shadow on the road and in your peripheral vision; sterling pink.

The crosswalk ticks once….twice….three times then flickers to red. The stop light flashes green and absent-minded drivers push down on the pedal, accelerating forward. And you don’t notice, standing right in front of them as a mesmerized statue.

“M   O   V   E   !” Someone shouts but you don’t react fast enough, it doesn’t register fast enough. It’s as if sound passes right past through you and it never reaches your ears. It’s as if every second is being pulled down to last days and evenings, as if millenniums have passed and you’re still in the same place.

Keep reading

okay I’ll be honest I only started watching yugioh for Marik. I’ve been scouring his wiki page and skimming over fanart for many weeks, and now that i’ve finally gotten my first peek at him in the anime, i had to post a drawing of him, no matter how sketchy

also i drew this while listening to triple baka on repeat which is completely irrelevant but also sort of funny

anonymous asked:

I'll be honest with you i do believe that bear is liam's and i've my reasons. I'm gonna quote my mum who has such a chill attitude about the industry and some dose of truth regarding the filth behind it "They're gay so they're agreed to have a kid. That's it" But even from my side i can't deny how scripted he sounds sometimes despite his excitment or how hard he's pushing it or that some of his stories match to a much older baby. It's so sketchy no matter what we believe about it.

Hi anon,

No probs for having a different opinion to me especially if it’s not said with malice, and I try to keep talk about this whole subject off-blog or in tags as much as possible as its a complicated situation and subject no matter what and I don’t think pontificating long and hard would alter the situation anyway or help. 

I don’t see personally how it’s a viable option re the ‘they’re gay but agreed to have a kid’ but who knows.  

But of course I agree that the way it’s been spoken about is bizarre and it doesn’t speak to me as a genuine relaxed excitement because I see tension in it and that’s partly because of his body language, the reliance on details which are so specific (that TV thing and the whole 30 cms away eyesight thing for one)  plus the age-related stuff which I bow to others on because I’ve not had kids and as someone said to me, it feels like a story that keeps going out of control a little bit but I would say that wouldn’t I?

Two weeks ago my co-worker killed himself over a lost USB flash drive. I found that flash drive today.

Just letting you guys know now, I’m not writing this for attention or karma or whatever. I’m just trying to share something that I found pretty damn interesting. Not for any noble reasons, either, I’m honestly just a bored guy and this is some pretty freaky shit that I’m not used to being around.

My name’s Jay. I work in a small office building as a sales associate of a small-brand security software. I’m not going to bore you with the details of my unexciting job – the only reason I put up with it is to provide for my girlfriend and my daughter, who was born about 11 months ago. I usually spend most of my time in the office screwing around on the internet and wishing something interesting would happen besides the stupid typical workplace gossip that went around all the time.

My wish was granted in a pretty unfortunate way two weeks ago. My co-worker, an HR rep who we’ll call Dan for the sake of anonymity, came into work freaking out about a USB flash drive he had lost. He made a huge scene throwing people’s stuff off their desks, yelling at our manager, and basically just having a panic attack right in the middle of the office. He kept saying it was a little red flash drive with the letter “K” written on it in black sharpie. It threw us all off-guard, we had no idea what was going on, but building security came and took Dan off the premises. That night, Dan killed himself in his home with a bullet to the head. We were shocked and saddened to hear about it the next day.

The thing about Dan was that he used to be a very outgoing and friendly guy, but about six months ago his eight year-old daughter, Katherine, was hit by a car while riding her bike and fell into a coma. Dan was a single father and loved his daughter more than anything, his desk was always full of pictures of her and he always talked about her accomplishments; she was apparently an amazing cello player. Needless to say, he was devastated by her injuries and became a quiet shell of his former self. Katherine stayed in a coma for about three months before she passed away. Dan held a very private funeral for her, or so another co-worker had told me, and refused to talk about her death with anyone. He distanced himself from the rest of the office and hardly made a noise until his breakdown right before committing suicide.

I wonder, if he had just found the flash drive, would he not have killed himself? Fate works in mysterious ways – while Dan couldn’t find what he was looking for, I found it this morning. I was making myself a cup of coffee in the break room and accidentally dropped a packet of sugar behind the coffee station. I bent down to pick it up and, lo and behold, underneath the table there was a red flash drive with a “K” written on it in sharpie. Shocked, I picked it up and wondered what to do with it. I mulled it over all day, and eventually decided to take it home and see what was on it.

I know it sounds selfish, I probably should have maybe contacted his family about it, but I’m honestly glad I took it because it has made this one of the most intriguing days of my life.

I went home and put it onto my computer. The drive was called “K” and it had just four folders inside it, all titled in caps. One was named “PICS”, one “ROLAND”, one “TEACH” and the last “TALK”.

In the “PICS” folder were some nice pictures of Dan and his daughter having fun together at some amusement park that I wouldn’t really feel comfortable sharing on the internet. Those are his memories, not something for us to ogle at.

The next folder, “ROLAND”, was a little more disturbing. It seemed to be a couple of scanned articles. They were a little hard to read, but they all referred to projects being done by some company called “Roland Biomech” (I tried Googling them but nothing came up). I guess this company experimented with applying certain technologies to help disabled and injured patients. One article referenced an experiment in which the patient had lost all his teeth, so they replaced his entire jaw with some sort of grinding system that would shred the food in his mouth before it went to his esophagus. An addendum on the bottom of the article said that the system collapsed and the patient’s entire face sunk into itself, killing him.

Another article referred to an experiment done by hooking up machinery into a depressed patient’s brain and using software to try and “remove” the depression by streaming happy images from the internet directly to the patient. At first it was successful, but soon the patient was determined to have been receiving “too much information” and she went into a catatonic state after hours of screaming about “knowing everything all at once”.

Then it looked like there were some forms that Dan himself had filled out for Roland Biomech. The applications, which were dated about three months ago, documented Dan’s personal information, Katherine’s comatose state, her blood type, age, and other stuff like that. One Yes/No question asked on the forms was “Are you comfortable with any alterations, major or minor, that the patient may have after operations have been completed?” to which Dan had ticked “Yes”.
Under a line titled “Procedure requested”, Dan had written in: “Uploaded Awareness”. Stamped over this was the word “APPROVED”.

One of the last articles was the hardest to make out, but to be fair some areas of it were highlighted and notes were scribbled along the sides of it in pen. Now, I’m not a programmer, I just sell software, but I swear the article looked just like program executions and codes. A lot of it was sorted into columns, which were titled things like “Memories”, “Emotions”,“Problem-solving”, etc. One of the hand-written notes I could make out read, “FOLDER NAMES FOR INPUT/OUTPUT: TEACH/TALK”.

Deciding I’d had enough of this cryptic bullshit, I clicked out of the “ROLAND”-folder and went to “TEACH”. This one had the most files by far, a bunch of scripts with strange filenames like “hello.cpp”, “howwasyourday.cpp”, and “playthecello.cpp”.

There was also one downloadable file called “KATHERINE.exe”. I clicked on the file and a download started, just a colored loading bar launched and nothing else. When it was finished downloading, a small black screen came up with white text that read “INSERT COMMAND”.
Confused, I minimized the program and clicked out of the “TEACH” folder. I went into the last folder, “TALK”, and saw that it was empty.
I was pretty disappointed. What was this nonsensical shit? I clicked back into “TEACH” and clicked on two of the script files at random: “hello.cpp” and “playthecello.cpp”. The small black screen that showed up earlier closed. Then, all on its own, the “TALK” folder opened with a new file in it – “whoareyou.wav”.

Here is the sound file uploaded onto Youtube. There are some LOUD moments so take it easy on the volume. It is approximately one minute and forty seconds in length. At around 46 seconds in I can clearly hear a cello playing. I also hear at 1:31 “who are you?”.

I honestly don’t know exactly what to make of this, but I do know that Dan loved his daughter more than anything, and if there was any way for him to keep her around, no matter how sketchy it seemed, he would have done it. Why else would he be in contact with that company? What could be in this flash drive that was so important to Dan, that he killed himself when he thought he had lost it?

Those Roland people turned that little girl into a computer program, and I just fucking downloaded and communicated with her.


Film Friday 2/6/17 - “Murder on the Orient Express” trailer.

Set for a November release, this version of the classic mystery has a seriously heavyweight cast. The biggest issue people seem to have with it is the use of Imagine Dragons at the end. Using modern music in a period piece trailer is nothing new, so it doesn’t bother me personally.

What does bother me is the appearance of one Johnny Depp. An actor who’s shtick has grown incredibly tiresome in recent years. Depp has also proven that no matter how sketchy your personal life is, or how many utter box office failures you star in, there’s always another job for you. As long as you fit a certain profile.

Anyway, before I get too political I hope you all have a great weekend!


I finally watched episode 7! Gradschool has been killing me. Also, sorry for streaming it on kissanime lol crunchyroll videos just. Wouldn’t. Load.

What a cute episode…I want those Kado-themed sweets…Is that castella…

Many 2D animation this episode, even Nina was animated in 2D. At this point, it’s clear that the animation switches are made to look intentional. Anyway, I have a complaint about this show now. Not enough infodump. Fiction about dimension stuff would end up being sketchy and speculative no matter how much theory and rhetoric you back it up with, but I still want to hear it. I really have no idea how Sansa works, all I understand is that it allows our hard-wired 3D brain to have a limited perception of the 4th dimension - which is implied to be something that we perceive as time in 3D - and the ability to stay awake forever is just a minor side effect. Ah, damn it, what is the theory behind Sansa? I know no one wants to sit through some lengthy pseudo-scientific explanation, but I do, damn it.

Now onto the fun stuff. Somehow, Tsukai’s “tsundere” antics are starting to look as intentional as the 3D animation to me. She’s…doing it on purpose. It makes people let their guard down. I guess she has concluded that we can indeed influence Nina’s opinion after having observed and tested him. Does that statement at the end really mean she wants to send Nina back to Novo? If so, how does she plan to do it? Ask him nicely? Seriously, the only way I can see it happening is that Shindo sits down, has a nice chat with Nina, finds out why he is doing all of this, tells him to leave and comes with him. Whatever reason lies behind Nina’s work, I feel like his bottom line would be the “advancement” of at least a single entity. At this point, it has to be Shindou, and no one else.

However, there is a 0% chance of Shindou accepting any request to send Nina back lol. Unless something really, really bad happens. I hope not. I really hope not, cause that would be so cheap. Of course, all of this is just my speculation, I guess we’ll know tomorrow what Tsukai really wants.

But most of all, I want to know what Shindou meant when he said that thing about happiness. It’s clear that he didn’t mean the happiness of humanity, is he actually…concerned about Nina??? 

Can you imagine what it must feel like for Robert to know that Aaron loves him?

One thing that we were reminded of this week is that Robert thinks the world of Aaron. He admires him so much and has a deep, genuine respect for who Aaron has become, or who he didn’t become, despite the circumstances of his childhood. He looks at Aaron and sees someone that he wants to have the courage to be like. 

He makes Robert want to be the kind of man that Aaron deserves. He’s been giving it his all and he’s finally earned Aaron’s trust enough for him to agree to try again. Robert finally got to feel like Aaron sees the person he is now rather than the person that he was.

But what started Robert down this road to being a better man came from the fact that Aaron loved him when he was at his worst. Aaron is the only person to know everything and still love him. Aaron is the only person to love him in spite of all of the mistakes that he hates himself for. Not only that but Aaron was never able to stop loving him in the first place. 

Just think for a second about what that must feel like for Robert. That someone that he sees as brave and honest and loyal and kind… things Robert is trying so hard to be for Aaron… has always seen something in him worth loving. I can’t even begin to process what it must be like to know that the person that he loves with everything he has… has never been able to not love him. 

anonymous asked:

If ANY aspect of a relationship is sketchy, EVERY aspect is immediately sketchy too - you can't 'a bit' of sketchiness in a relationship, lol. Truth is, there SHOULDN'T be ANY and the fact that there IS some should be a warning itself...

It doesn’t necessarily make everything sketchy, but it does immediately warrant a review of the rest of the relationship to determine how far the sketchiness goes (in the same way that if there was a noticeable discrepancy on someone’s taxes, you’d want to believe they’d be getting audited to see how many lies they were trying to get away with).

The first thing, the biggest thing that should be raising red flags, is that they look physically uncomfortable together. That is, to me at least, of far greater importance than the fact that they didn’t know what their anniversary was for the first year or more, or that she’s actively been involved in twitter promo deals.

Anyone who starts with the little sketchy details, no matter how absurd or benign they are (‘she missed out on an important week long study break right before exams to fly to the other side of the world when she was going to see Louis two weeks later, hmm, maybe that is suspicious?’) and works their way backwards is completely missing the point, because easily 90% of that crap could be excused if they just genuinely looked and acted like a pair of people who are in a loving, committed relationship.

They are sold to us as a loved up couple, but have the physicality of two people who are not used to and are not comfortable with touching each other intimately or romantically; something that is particularly noticeable because of the intimate, familiar, sexual and romantic nature of Louis’ interactions with Harry from the beginning. It is a huge deal that Louis can’t muster the same intimacy for his 'girlfriend’ as he does his 'best friend’; you start at this biggest red flag and then begin looking for supportive evidence in all the other crap that doesn’t add up.

And that’s the thing, if someone can’t see Louis and Eleanor’s total lack of chemistry (or Harry and Louis’ abundance of it), then they’re never going to be convinced by how odd it is to take a one day ski trip to France, so there’s almost no point in wasting our breath. 

man, if you literally don’t get that basic white couslands (and basic white amells too, but the basic white couslands are the only ones who can become queen) and basic white boy alistair and basic white hawkes and basic white boy anders and basic white boy cullen are so popular because they’re basic white people that key into the privileged white majority of english-speaking fandom and then don’t get that people lash out at them specifically because they’re tired of white people’s shit leaking into fandom, then you need to rethink your life choices, okay.

because not only fandom, but bioware canon, seems to think the only hispanic-reading character (zevran) is unimportant and negligible, that poc wardens and hawkes are not canon, and alistair and anders and cullen are taken more seriously and considered above criticism because they are white.  like, alistair gets to be “the perfect” romance over the lower class hispanic-reading character who stays by your side no matter what, while alistair will always dump an elf, a mage, or a dwarf or make them his mistress if given any power.  like, everything anders says is to be believed and earns him never-ending sympathy, despite that a plethora of largely female characters disagree with him, but what a white man says is always true, doncha know.  like, cullen is everyone’s true love because he got “upgraded” to pure basic white boy in da:i, no matter his sketchy and brutal past in previous games.  then you’re gonna act like you’re under attack for playing the majority, supported by canon in every way, in an origin that reads like it fell out of a dime-store fantasy novel rack by a d&d starter kit?

y’all can get the fuck out

Oh, Zevran you little shit. Why must you be so hard to romance? I swear, you’re more difficult than Fenris was.

SO WHY CAN’T I RESIST YOU AND YOUR CHARMS. AUGH. Fine. Another elf for the elfpile I seem to be gathering for myself, whatever.