skeleton bed

i.
he’s problematic.
you know it, you know it, day one, you know.
he’s trouble in every sense of the word.
he’ll burn your whole world with no remorse
and you probably won’t even mind it, because hey,
it’d be interesting.
(he’d be interesting.)
you’ll watch your world turn to ash, and then
you’ll watch his eyes glow in the dancing flames.

oh, the things he could do to you.
oh, the trouble he could cause you.

ii.
of course, he’s a liar.
they’re all liars.  no one’s honest, of course, of course.
definitely not him, definitely not you.
but he’s more than that, isn’t he?
because trouble doesn’t just lie, trouble
goes to lengths too far to mask the truth. trouble
is burned trails and locked safes and carefully dyed hair.  trouble
is a past desperately buried, gasping, scared.

trouble is a rabbit that knows all too well what it’s like for a fox to pounce on it.
(a fox,
like you.)

iii.
he’s entertaining, right?
there’s always another surprise, always another secret.
there are skeletons under his bed and monsters in his closet,
smoke rising in his wake.
he’s a rabbit, he’s scared, he ought to be.
a man who can’t keep his mouth shut,
a man who doesn’t know when to quit,
a man who has stopped counting risks—

a man like that has a target on his back,
and the bullet’s already been fired.

iv.
he’s dangerous.
he’s too smart, too quick, too willing to walk through fire to save you.
(to save anyone, come on, where’d your perspective go)
when did he become the fox?

he’s a liar but so are you, you know you are
(lying by omission is still lying, where’d your goddamn perspective go)
he’s working his way around all your secrets,
finding all the things you won’t say,
all the things you won’t admit,
not even to yourself.
it’s just twisted enough to feel right.

v.
how long until you’ll admit it to yourself?
you’re not scared of heights, you’re scared of
falling, you’re scared of him.
you’re scared of what this is, of what this means.
you’re scared of the fact that you stick up for him, too, now,
scared of the fact that you’re seeing this sober,
feeling this sober.
scared that maybe this wasn’t a hallucination after all.

you’ve never liked problems.  problems are things to be dealt with,
in any way you see fit.
(you should stop that.  he’s seen enough blood spilled in his life,
are you really going to add to that?)
he is a problem and it scares you.
he is a problem and a liar, but
you’re amused.  you are, you know you are,
you’re amused you’re entertained you’re scared.

you have a list of things that he is.
that is not nothing.

admit it.

—  90% of the time, you’re lying to yourself // es
Drabble(?) #2

Ship/Pairing: Fontcest or UT Papyrus x UT Sans
Rating: PG-13(?)
Fandom: Undertale
Tags: Fluff, Anniversary

“Hello? Yes, I would like to order a bouquet with red and white camellias, ambrosias, and arbutus flowers. Yes. Thank you so much! Have a nice day!” Papyrus ended the call and placed the phone down.

It had been two years since the two skeletons had began to date. Papyrus couldn’t believe how quickly the two previous years had passed, the happiness of the very first date they shared still flooding his mind. It was nothing too special, just a simple date going to the old spot where Sans and Papyrus would do snow Papyrus and Snow Sans. 

Sans began to explain that he wanted to remind himself that they had always been together, through thick and thin bonements. Papyrus still remembered slightly choking up on the fact that Sans still had time to make puns. Sans wanted to start dating and thought that heading back into the UNDERGROUND would give him confidence. Sans felt calmer in his own hometown and Papyrus completely understood the sentiment.

Nonetheless, that day filled Papyrus with joy, a grin beginning to form all over again. He’s sure that Sans would love anything he did for him, but as always that simply wasn’t enough for Papyrus. Papyrus had to show in more ways than one that he truly loved Sans. 

This morning had started off with Papyrus seeing the most beautiful sight, Sans was cuddled up to his side, drool slightly coming out of his mouth. The expression on Sans face made him seem so fragile, vulnerable. Papyrus smiled softly before kissing Sans forehead, a small clank was heard. Prying himself away from the bed, he began to quietly make breakfast. Although Sans was not a light sleeper, Papyrus wanted it to be a major surprise. He had full faith in his cooking abilities ever since he began to take cooking lessons from Grillbz. 

Nonetheless, he was ready to begin his plan. He cooked a regular ol’ scrambled eggs, toast, orange juice, and some bacon strips, with a small ketchup bottle on the side. It wasn’t anything too fancy, but he felt that it would get the message across all the same. 

Once he had finished his call, Papyrus dressed himself in a semi-formal attire. His long sleeved sweater vest matched surprisingly well with his old but nicely managed one of a kind scarf. He then made sure to leave a small note on the side of the bed saying “Morning sleepy head. Breakfast is downstairs. Love you. -Sincerely the Great Papyrus.

Papyrus walked fairly quickly to the nearby florist shop where he had ordered the bouquet. He knew this shop to be exceedingly efficient in arranging flowers marvelously. He gathered the bouquet and began walking home, he’s sure that by now Sans would have began to wake up from his slumber. 

Sans got up and realized that Papyrus wasn’t in bed, not that wasn’t unusual. He sat up and wiped away the drool coming out of his mouth “Heh, guess I was hungry even in my sleep. Well, no bones about it.“

As he got up, he noticed a small card on the nightstand. As he read it, he gave a genuine smile. He’d never get tired of the kindness and love Papyrus always gave him; it always made him feel like the happiest skeleton alive.

Fixing the bed, Sans gave a small yawn before finally heading downstairs. He gave a small sniff of the air and finally realized what was cooked, “Smells delicious Paps.”

He began descending the chairs to find Papyrus at the doorway with a bouquet in his hands. He was a little surprised to see Papyrus all dressed up and with flowers, it simply took his not required breath away. 

With a big smile, Papyrus walked over to Sans “Thank you Sans. I’m glad you think so.” He gave Sans a small kiss, a soft clank echoing through the room. He handed Sans the bouquet and smiled “Happy Anniversary to us.”

With a quick jerk upwards, Sans hugged Papyrus fairly tightly “Happy Anniversary. I can’t believe I forgot.”

Papyrus shook his head and hugged back “It’s okay Sans.”

Sans blushed slightly before speaking again “It’s just that the days pass by so quickly and every day with you is just simply a blessing.”

With a blush forming across his features, Papyrus grinned and kissed Sans again. “I love you Sans.”

“I love you too Papyrus.”

With a soft smile, Papyrus motioned Sans to the kitchen table “Let’s eat before deciding to celebrate the rest of the day together.”

“Sure thing Paps.”

anonymous asked:

Idea: When the UT/US/UF bros are freed from the barrier, it is close to Halloween and stores are stocked with many a naked plastic skeleton (as well as other skeleton- and Halloween-themed items). Reactions?

UT! Sans:

He thinks this is hilarious.  Who knew humans were so into skeletons?  However, when some kids are staring at him while he’s staring at what’s essentially a naked plastic skeleton, well.. he realizes that he’s coming across as creepy.  Super creepy.  He spots a few decorations of monsters, but they’re not really any monsters he’s familiar with.  Oh wait.  Is that werewolf costume supposed to be of the Ice Wolf from Snowdin?  That’s strange.  Are humans mocking them or attempting to make them feel like they fit in?  

Sans does some research into the holiday, and oh, that makes more sense. 

A few years later, you better believe he tries to convince his crush or S/O to buy a “sexy skele” costume.  For the lulz, he assures them.  

UT!Papyrus:

GASP!  HUMANS MUST HAVE REALLY DESCENDED FROM SKELETONS!  IS THIS A HOLIDAY HONORING THEIR ANCESTORS?  

Papyrus is excited, but these decorations.. they’re INDECENT!  He fidgets as he stands in front of them, and when a human child walks by, he covers their eyes with his glove.  He ends up making a scene.  Things spiral out of control.  He’s asked to leave after covering up the naked skeletons with costumes.  

Before he leaves, though, he ends up buying all the skeleton decorations he can carry.  His house is now DECKED-OUT in skeleton stuff.  Sans allows it because he thinks it’s hilarious.  

US!Sans:

Sans feels.. uncomfortable looking at the skeleton decorations.  It’s his brother that tells him what Halloween is, and it intrigues him, but seeing people hanging plastic naked skeletons on their doors..

IS THAT GOING TO HAPPEN TO HIM?!
No one said anything about humans being this crazy!  

Sans goes trick-or-treating with Stretch because he’s all about some free candy, and he gets complimented not for his battle body, but for his skeleton costume.  This annoys him, and he puffs out his cheeks in a pout, but eventually all the compliments start going to his head and he embraces his ‘skeleton costume.’  He ends up eating way too much candy and becomes difficult to control.  Stretch loses him for an hour in a crowd of monster-costumed children.  When he finally finds him, Sans grabs onto him and starts crying.  Some of the costumes were just too scary.

Alternate ending to that:  Stretch finds Blueberry in a crowd of humans that are dressed as skeletons, and Sans somehow accidentally now has a cult.    

US!Papyrus:

Stretch is walking down an aisle in a store one day, when he suddenly glimpses a rack of hanging plastic skeletons–and yep, they’re naked.  He stares for a minute, before he calmly finds someone that works there and asks what the decorations are for.  She goes on to explain the concept of Halloween, and seems super-embarrassed when she looks between the naked skeleton and him, which only makes his grin widen.  He buys a few skeleton-themed items (like a towel with a skeleton riding a damn penny-farthing that reads ‘I wheelie like you.’) for laughs, and ends up taking his brother trick-or-treating.  He points out all of the skeleton decorations to try to unnerve Sans and has a few laughs.  Oh, this is great stuff.

Humans dressed as sexy skeletons?  Yeah, he’s into it.  Sexy anything costumes, really.  He ends up getting his skull painted like a Day of the Dead sugar skull by some women in sexy nun costumes, and that’s when he loses Blueberry.  It was a mistake to ever give his brother sugar, and when he finds him, he confiscates the rest of the candy.  

UF!Sans:

“holy crap, did i die or somethin’?  this can’t be the surface.”

Red’s into it.  He’s pervin’ on all the decorations, and he’s disappointed that all of the ‘sexy skele’ costumes have skirts.  What’s the point if the pelvis is covered up?  ARGH!  He knew that humans had skeletons inside them, so that part doesn’t freak him out, but hey, if they happen to be into naked skeletons, well.. Sans is happy to oblige.  He’ll let them stare all day if they want.  

He gets really drunk one night and wakes up with one of those plastic skeletons in his bed.  What happened to it during the night is questionable and probably third on his Things-I-Wish-Never-Happened list.  

..Especially since Papyrus barges into his room before Sans can dispose of the evidence.  

UF!Papyrus:

Edgy is confused.  Is this the humans’ way of RECOGNIZING HIS GLORY AND IMMORTALIZING HIS GREATNESS?  If so, they GOT IT ALL WRONG!  He’s so much taller than that!  And.. wait, why would they want to display him naked?!  Could it be that all humans are completely enamored by his sex appeal?  I mean, it radiates off him in waves, so OF COURSE THEY ARE!  BUT IT’S SO MUCH PRESSURE!  HOW CAN ONE SKELETON COPE WITH SO MUCH AFFECTION?!

.. Wait, you mean that’s not it?  "BUT WHAT ELSE COULD IT BE?“  Humans have skeletons inside them?  

Oh..

Papyrus is now HORRIFIED.  How did he not know this?!  He was the Captain of the Guard!  It was his responsibility to know his enemy, and he missed a detail as important as this?!  He becomes fascinated, and he starts studying the way humans move, looking for their bones beneath their skin.  He really wants to touch a human’s arm, but his stare is so intense that it scares all of them off.  

He’s even more bothered by the costumes.  Humans trying to look like monsters?  Disgusting.  He sits this year out and scoffs, but.. there’s a HUGE PART OF HIM that wants to make a costume.  Next year, he sets out to make his costume as terrifying as possible and decks the exterior of his house out like a haunted murder mansion.  The few souls that are brave enough to ring his doorbell don’t get treats.  No, he chases them through his yard and down the street, “NYEH HEH HEH"ing with glee.  

10

So in other news my headcanon about Papyrus not sleeping is actually confirmed in canon

As is my headcanon that the reason he doesn’t sleep is because he doesn’t want to lose time being productive

So…that’s pretty cool

Also, I hope it’s okay to tag @papyrus-knows in this? I know this blog hasn’t interacted with you but I follow you on my main and I feel like if you haven’t seen this it might be interesting to you?

Just some morning bs with Frisk and Sans

Frisk groaned loudly into her pillow as her alarm went off, she got up lazily looking around with very messy hair.
Sans sat up tiredly looking at Frisk only to start laughing upon seeing the birds nest that was her hair. Frisk glared at him as he laughed holding his angry morning monster in his embrace.
Frisk mumbled angrily but hugged him with a small sigh,“ bone head.” She looked at him only for him to grin,“ birds nest.”
Frisk’s face turned red as she got out of their bed and to the bathroom for her shower with Sans yelling and laughing playfully,“ oh come back kiddo I was only Egging you on! Your temper is usually as light as a feather!” He laughed as she groaned loudly.
“Sans I’m gonna throw something at you!“ //Inspired by a post by @remaining-head-spirits

anonymous asked:

How would Russ, Red, Stretch, and Classic Sans react to his crush just randomly walking up to him, pulling out a ridiculously huge bag of weed and saying "you and me. Let's get destroyed off this shit" and then when they're both high af crush just goes "you're so incredibly perfect and I really love you so much like we should get married and have a nice life and everything and stuff I think about it a lot like spending my life with you"

Okay….my apologies if I let my fantasies run wild….let me indulge in my pure self insert love for Rus. 

Also, like….I’ve never smoke or gotten high (I’m a good noodle) so this might be not accurate. 

*Implied NSFW, but nothing is explicit. I’d say PG-13

Swapfell Papyrus 

Hell to the fucking yes. Rus eagerly smokes the weed with you, but not as much as you so he could watch over you and make sure that you don’t hurt yourself or do anything stupid. You get a little handsy with him, and he hesitantly accepts it, even kissing you, sliding his hands under your shirt, touching you everywhere. Had he been sober, Rus would’ve kept his distance from you since you’re not in the right mind right now, but despite taking less than you, Rus is still pretty high. 

When you confess your feelings for him, he gets a new kind of high, proclaiming that he feels the same way, and the two of you just start laughing. How silly! You like him, he likes you, why did it take so long?! Neither of you should have to wait anymore, you two should get married! And Rus actually marries you, Vegas style. 

The next day, once the both of you sober up, Rus realizes what happened and screams. Fuck he really messed things up didn’t he? He fucking married you and yeah, okay, maybe that thought is kinda nice, but he didn’t want it to be like this! After making breakfast, the two of you sit down and have a long discussion on what to do. You suggest that after the craziness that happened yesterday, it’s better to just put this aside for now and deal with it another day. Rus happily agrees. 

But later, turns into weeks, months, years, and in between that time, you and Rus have grown closer than ever before. Neither of you officially asked each other out, but it’s pretty much agreed that you two are an item now. 

Pretty soon, the both of you forgot all about the accidental marriage until Undyne asked when you two are tying the knot during a dinner party with all your friends. 

“Oh, we’re already married,” Rus shrugs as you giggle by his side. 

The sound of everyone’s glasses dropping was priceless. 

Underfell Sans

Oh my god, he loves you so much, give him some that shit. As soon as the both of you are as high as a cloud, Red gets a little handsy with you and the two of you start making out. Not only are you his crush, but you’re also his FWB so it’s nothing new. 

But then, you confess your feelings for him, and oh god, Red.exe has crashed. He teleports out of there as soon as possible, stumbling into Grillbys since that’s the first place he thought of, and drowns himself in alcohol. It’s not that he’s unhappy, but Red was not expecting at all and he hates surprises. Plus, he’s high as fuck, so he’s not in the right mind. 

Then Red remembers he left you alone in his room….half naked….with your recent confession fresh from your lips. Fuck! He’s such an idiot! He teleports back, but finds you asleep so peacefully on his bed. The skeleton sighs, a tiny smile on the edge of his mouth as he tucks you under the blankets and slides in next to you, kissing you gently on your head. 

“i love you too, sweetheart.” 

Underswap Papyrus 

Are you sure you wanna give him that? Blue is going to be sooooo pissed. But Stretch is never one for healthy choices so together, you two go through the entire bag. As the two of you slump in the cushions of the couch, you relax in his arms and confess your feelings for him. 

“Haha same,” Stretch laughs before he realizes you really said, then jolt up, pushing you into the couch, “Wait you really mean that?! You wanna get married?!” 

Your eyes blown wide, you slowly nod your head, and the skeleton attacks you with a full on makeout session, sliding his heads underneath your clothes, “Let’s get married then!” 

But first, Stretch throws off his hoodie and you toss your pants, to celebrate your engagement. The next morning, the two of you shit faced, he realizes what happens, and you both call off the engagement, mostly because it was too ridiculous, but you two do start dating and a few years later…..the engagement is back on. 

Undertale Sans

Classic isn’t much of a drug person. Sure, he’s experiment several times, especially during the bad runs, but he’s happy right now and feeling like a massive piece of shit the next day doesn’t quite appeal to him, so he declines. He’ll happily watch you get high though, and watch over you so nothing goes wrong. Classic smiles and laughs at your hilarious antics, even recording some of them and use them as blackmail for future purposes. 

But then you wrap yourself around his body, straddling his lap with the dopest grin and his soul skips a beat as you confess your feelings. His face flushes a bright cyan blue and he picks you up and gently sets you back down on the couch. He doesn’t say anything about it the entire night and just takes care of you until you fall asleep.

Sans believes your confession, and he’s ecstatic that you feel the same way, but he rather hear you say it when you’re normal. If you don’t remember that you confessed, he’ll tell you what happened and then ask you out. 

3

Weeeelp

I wonder what conclusions people are making and how many are going to jump to them, ‘cuz I swear it’s not what it looks like?
Sorta?
*͠҉N̡̛͡E̢͏R͡V̨̛O̶ŲS̷̨͟ ̸͞L͜A͘͟͠UG̡HT̵̴̡E̵̢̛Ŗ̨͢*̸̀̕

Either way…
I hope everyone is having a great holiday season!!

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