skate ollies


-I’m from the future! I’m here to-
-Kill Trump! Yes! Thank God!
-What? No! Trump was the greatest President of the Twenty-First century! His two terms fixed America in immeasurable ways.
-…what? Impossible!
-No, truly.
-Then why are you here?
-Came back to grab some Hershey bars. Don’t have ‘em in the future. Yum Yum.
-Why not?
-Haha! Trump banned all black colored candy.
-Oh my God! See! He’s insane-
-Black candy was found to cause diabetes 100 times faster than any other candy. He won a lot of prizes for the ban.
-What the fuck. What about that Pence guy? He’s downright evil.
-Father Pence? The first American Pope? The man who came out as gay in office and everyone was like “That makes sense” and he was like “Yeah, all of that scary stuff was just a front. Can I be Pope?” and everyone was like “A gay Pope? Sure, we’re all happy and peaceful now so why not?”
-…no no no. You’re not from the future, you’re just crazy.
-If I wasn’t from the future could I ollie on this skateboard like this?
-Damn. I was wrong.