sk:1k

4

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Tay and I were on FaceTime so naturally headcanons were born.

So you know how Harry literally wears the same shirt all the time? Being Draco Malfoy, Draco Malfoy notices. And it annoys the shit out of him. So of course he has to tell everyone about how it annoys him.

Every day in the Slytherin common room for an hour after classes, Draco tells his fellow Slytherins how problematic it is that Potter won’t shower and they’re like ???? how do you know he isn’t showering? and Draco’s like !!! R U FUCKING NOSE BLIND AND BLIND BLIND HE N E V E R CHANGES HIS SHIRT and mostly they just tune him out but one day, it just kind of happens, they all collectively think about it, and “he can’t actually wear the same shirt every day” SO the next day the entire Slytherin class in Harry’s year are crowded around their side of the potions lab, staring at the door, while Draco just stares ahead at the board, expressionless.

Without fail, the Golden Trio enters the classroom.

Harry’s wearing the same shirt.

All of the Slytherins R I O T while Draco just rests his chin on top of his hands and keeps on staring ahead bc he t o l d them.

Harry is SCARED bc wtf is happening.

SO THEN for Christmas Harry gets an owl delivery of fucking a billion shirts. All nice, clean, crisp, expensive shirts and Ron’s just sitting there across from him slack-jawed like who in the FUCK sent you so many shirts?? and then Harry spots the note and

“Wear a new one each day.

Sincerely, the entire Slytherin common room who cannot take listening to Malfoy bitch about your one shirt for another month.”

So Harry picks one new shirt and wears it for a month, then picks a new one for the next month, etc. He also picks one pair of really gross, holey track pants with mysterious grease stains with unknown origins, and wears them the rest of the school year.

And that is how Draco Malfoy and the entire Slytherin common room lost their damn minds.