okay I promised I’d stay out of the latest bi women/lesbians Who Is More Oppressed Debate, but:
Feeling like you are “actually” queer is really important to a lot of people and a lot of people wish they were more queer so they’d be more ‘sure they weren’t faking it’. if you think this is not a consequence of societal homophobia then I’m not sure what you think societal homophobia does.
There are lots of people for whom being terrified to act on their same-sex attraction (because they believe they are/people will think they are faking it, going through a phase, or attention-seeking) is their dominant experience of homophobia and I definitely don’t think it’s a lesser, minor or harmless one.
Arguments over who is more oppressed/more queer/more privileged/whatever inevitably intensify the fear of Not Really Counting for a lot of the people involved. It’s hard to hear about how you’re privileged for whatever reason and not read it as an effort to declare you Not Really One Of Us. I think a lot of peoples’ ‘no you’re privileged/I’m oppressed/you’re xphobic’ posts are really a cry of “my existence is authentic I can kiss girls I’m not faking anything I count’ and if we could all read each other’s cries of pain as such these conversations would be a lot more constructive.
There are a lot of girls who don’t know if they’re bi or gay and a lot of people who IDed as one or the other for a time and are now the other, or neither. there are a lot of girls who are out as different things in different social contexts. the whole idea that this is a dichotomy seems pretty mistaken.
If we got an answer, magically, to the Who Is More Privileged question - if New Horizons reaches Pluto and notices a giant plaque engraved on the planet’s surface that says “[X] Girls Are More Privileged. Sincerely, God.” - what would that change? It wouldn’t change your experience. It wouldn’t change mine. It wouldn’t mean that every [X] girl is more oppressed than every [Y] girl, so even if you wanted to restrict LGBT+ spaces to the most oppressed people (and why would you want to do that!!???!) you still couldn’t do that by excluding a category of people. It wouldn’t change anything and that means, as a question, I don’t think it’s even worth answering.
making bi girls feel unwelcome in LGBT+ spaces makes them KISS GIRLS LESS OFTEN my fellow lesbians I just need to point out that this is is a CATASTROPHIC STRATEGIC FAILURE on our part