siuil art

Day #1 of 30 days of improvement – self portrait. This is the only one that’s getting full color because most of the time if I color something fully it takes me a bit.

Drawing myself is one of the only time I can allow myself to not feel bad about not making it have a defined expression. My entire family’s got a pretty bad case of Rennerface. If we aren’t thinking about our expression, we look terribly morbid. It must be a sight when we’re all out, walking through the mall or something, and we all look like death because we’re thinking about other stuff.

And here we have a wild Lina, obviously plotting something mischievous and probably too dangerous.

Lina’s the main character of my novel. She’s a little older here than she is in my novel, mostly due to my shoddy drawing skills. Her name’s written in ‘her’ handwriting – loopy, impractical, and flowery to the extreme.

I mostly did this to work on noses and expressions.

As of late, I’ve been rather stressed. Getting my car has eased that stress more than I thought possible, but nonetheless it remains. My appetite, normally the stuff of legends, falls flat. I want to do nothing more than sleep and catch up on the rest I so fervently desire.

Despite this, I’ve gained no interesting pallor – well, more than I had in the first place – or become an intriguing skeletal woman as happens in novels. What has changed is my readiness to smile. I still laugh and giggle and grin as I once did, but in repose I am less likely to wear a smile. While reading, while eating, people stare strangely. Perhaps I appear melancholic. When they meet my eyes, some have started.

I don’t know what they see there.

blargh

So I’m working on day 4 of 30 days of improvement and I realize after the first two drawings  that I was going to do feet, not hands.

bleeeeh time to start over

At least it didn’t come without this gem.

I turned off my ‘muscles’ layer to see how it looked and  buried my face in my hands, choking with laughter all the while. Then I whispered, what have I created?

Updated selfie time. Except for the part where I drew it and that makes it technically not-a-selfie.

Recent stress means some nights it’s hard to get to sleep. My Anne-car broke down and she was very expensive to fix. The sunshine makes it easier for me to be cheerful, but some days it’s still hard. Depression lurks in the corners and shadows, popping up when I least need it to. Work being hard makes it very easy for me to be vulnerable at night when I’m tired.

But my novel is coming along, and it is spring. If work is hard, at least I have a snuggle cat at home. And at least my hair looks straight out of an anime. I am a bottle of purple dye away from a closet cosplay of Raven.