sitting on washer

Excuses 💐

A/N: This is a part II of Braids. Please please please read the first part so you can understand the intimacy of their close friendship. I really hope you all like it - please send me your feedback here. Thank you, love you, and happy reading :)

Harry doesn’t remember the last time he felt this giddy.

He thinks it was the time you had finally agreed to see him perform, and he had found a bouquet of flowers in his dressing room with a small card that read “If you were a flower, you’d be a damndelion”. There was no signature on the card, but he immediately recognized your scribbled handwriting. He had worn a grin for the rest of the night, feeling utterly enamoured by your silent act of kindness, wondering how someone with that much heart fell into his crazy life.

Now that he was thinking about it, he had always been showered by your good nature. It was what had attracted him to you in the first place. Your gentle personality had the ability to touch others in a way that made them feel like the most important person on the earth. And now that Harry’s watched your kindness spread through the hearts of the ones he loved most, he promised himself to finally be honest with you … even if it meant crossing the blurred lines of your close friendship.  

Keep reading


Book worm girlfriend was a huge success for blurb night so here’s an Imagine about it. 

They’ve been stopped at this Laundromat for two hours. It’s late, gotta be getting closer to one in the morning and it’s completely empty. 

He’s been trying to find something to entertain himself. He checked everything on his phone, read through a few magazines, but now he’s ready to be entertained. 

She’s just over there, reading a book, looking cute as shit. 

“Babe.” He says, voice low, almost as if he has to whisper because of how quiet it is in the place.

“Hmm?” She asks, not looking up from her book.

“Babe.” He says again, moving closer to her.

“What?” She asks, still not looking up, too lost in the world that she’s in. 

“Babe.” He whines, looking at her with puppy dog eyes.

“What Shawn?” She asks finally looking up at him.

“Can you talk to me or something?”

“What?” She giggles at his question.

“I’m bored.” He whines.

“I’m sorry, I told you to bring your guitar.” She says shrugging, looking back at her book. 

He just watches her, watches as her eyes dance from side to side as she reads each line. How her eyes light up, and she smirks at what’s shes reading. He’s not done bugging her though. Would never be done bugging her.

He takes the book from her hands and she gasps. 

“Wait Shawn.” She protests as he walks away from her. “Shawn!” She’s annoyed now.

“Hmm?” He mocks her.

“Give me my book back!” 

“Why? You should be just as bored as I am.” He says turning to face her. She stops short, eyeing the book in his hand. She’s trying to come up with a plan so she can get her book back from him. But he watches her, watches how her eyebrows come together, her lips seal together in a tight line. 

The washer their using beeps, and they both look over.

“Shawn I promise I won’t read anymore, I’ll talk to you. Can you just give me my book back.”

“No can do Babe.”

“Shawn, I don’t even know what page I’m on.” She whines, reaching for her book but he holds it above her head.

“That just means you get to read it again.” He shrugs. She glares at him, a warning, but he doesn’t listen to it. He shuts her book and puts it on top of on of the washer.

“SHAWN!” She says voice high pitched and he can’t help but snicker as he watches her eyes blaze with anger. 

He know’s better than to mess with one of her books, those are sacred like how his guitars are. But he wants to push his limits, wants to get under her skin. Get her all worked up, hot and angry. It’s a turn on. 

“Fuck you.” She mumbles as she goes to the beeping washer, opening the door in a huff. She’s a lot angrier than he expected her to be. She moves the clothes to a dryer and then grabs her basket and throws her clothes that are left to be washed in the washer.

“Here.” He says, taking his shirt off. “Can you wash that too.” 

“You are seriously going to sit hers shirtless, what if someone comes in.”

“It’s like one in the morning Babe, who’s coming in here?” 

“I don’t know, a couple that has been traveling around the world for his world tour?” She shrugs, taking his shirt and putting that in the wash too.

“A cute couple,” He grins, walking behind her. He kisses at her cheek and frowns as she moves away from him. “Hey, come back.”

“Don’t feel like being kissed.” She grumbles.


“You just lost my fucking page Shawn.” She says looking at him over her shoulder.

“Still on that.” 

“Yes I’m still on that, that’d be like if you were in the middle of writing a song and then I took your guitar away so you couldn’t finish.” She says crossing her arms. 

“I’m sorry, I was just joking around.” He says slowly moving closer to her. 

“It wasn’t funny.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” He says touching her softly, pulling her into him slowly. “It’s just really hot when you get mad like this.” He grins. She whips her body around and glares at him.

“How dare you.” She points at him, he smiles and leans down connecting their lips.

All her anger melts away, lips following in the rhythm he’s created. Their in sync with each other, he’s pushing her up against the wall. She smells of fabric softener, and he grins against her lips remembering how he chased her around throwing it at her like they were snow balls. 

“Babe how many do you put in here.” He asks opening the box of fabric softener. 

“One will do.” She says looking up from her book. 

“Are you gonna put that book down?” He asks.

“I did my job, started my load.” She shrugs. He glares at her, but then looks back down and smirks at his idea. He takes four fabric sheets and wads them up into a sad looking ball but uses it anyway. He tosses it over and it hits her in the face and then lands in her lap. 

“Hey.” She says looking up. He laughs and throws another ball. This hits her in the face again and she gets up, holding her thumb to keep her place in her book. She runs away as he continues to throw fabric softener at her. “Stop Shawn.” She giggles, hiding behind the dryers. 

“Put the book down.” 

“Shawn.” She whines. 

“I need to start this load.” She says between kisses. 

“It can wait.” He responds.

“No it can’t.” She pulls away. 

“Yeah it can.” He says pushing her back against the wall, moving between her legs. 


“What about your bra? That needed to be washed right?” He says kissing her jaw as his hands slide up her shirt. She shivers at his touch and nods, swallowing thickly. He undoes the hooks in the back, and it pops open. She reaches around him and pulls the strap off under her sleeve. She does that to the other side and he catches the bra as it falls off her body. 

Their still kissing as he holds her bra in one hand. He lets his other hand rest on the small of her back. She pulls away, pushing him away. 

“We have to start um the next load.” She says trying to regain her balance. Her head is spinning, and she feels uneasy as she stands on her own, him no longer holding her up. 

 He watches her with a shit eating grin on his face, knowing he’s done that to her. 

She puts her bra in the washer, starting the load. Shawn picks her up, sets her on a dryer and stands between her thighs. 

“You can have more kisses when I get my book.” She bargains with him.

“Hm, but I was just gonna talk.” He hums, smirking at her. She rolls her eyes and looks over his shoulder at her poor book sitting on top of the washer. It’s too high for her to reach and he know’s it, why he put it up there.

“What are we talking about?” 


Their kissing again, talking didn’t last long. Not when he was staring at her lips, licking and biting his. He’s getting handsy again, but she’s not stopping him. Not stopping him from slipping his fingers under her shirt, sliding up to her boobs. Well she wasn’t stopping him until someone came into the laundromat. They jump apart as someone clears their throat. 

Geoff. Geoff stands there, arms crossed, glaring at the blushing couple.

“Are you finished with the clothes?” He asks, voice booming. 

“Yeah.” Shawn says looking over at the washer and dryer they were using. 

They both work together to quickly throw all the now clean clothes from the dryers into the to go hamper bag they have. 

Being caught, they both are blushing a deep red. Geoff just watches them as they grab the clothes. She grabs her bra some the pile that Shawn grabbed and runs off the bathroom to go put it back on. Shawn grabs a shirt and puts it on over his head and then slipping his arms in. 

 He looks over at Geoff and raises his eyebrows.

“What the fuck?” 

“We need to leave.” Geoff says angry.

“Then fucking call me.” Shawn says slamming the dryer door shut. “No need to be a fucking cock block.” 

“That’s what I am?”

“Yeah, so thanks.” Shawn sneers. She comes running back out and takes Shawn’s hand as they walk back to the bus. 

Three blocks and a right turn, right back to the bus that houses The Shawn Mendes as he tours the world. Goes from show to show.

They are climbing back on the bus, giggling now at the fact that they got caught. The bus takes off and she looks up at him in horror.


“My book.”

And sure enough, sitting on top of the 6th washer in the 24 hour laundromat is her book. The corner of page 237 sloppily folded over in a sad attempt of a boyfriend trying to save the page of his girls book. 

Since I’m doing my laundry right now and as we all know there are never washers open when we need them:

College laundry room AU in which Dex and Nursey meet because Nursey is that asshole who always uses all of the washers and never takes his laundry out after it’s done. Dex always does his laundry once a week but twice a month (if we’re being generous) some dude whose workout gear smells like it’s a science experiment gone bad takes up ALL OF THE WASHERS EVEN THOUGH THERE’S LIKE 4 and then DOESN’T SWITCH HIS STUFF TO THE DRYER FOR ANOTHER HOUR. Eventually Dex starts switching the guy’s clothes into the dryers for him because Dex has a Schedule, but being the passive aggressive little shit that he is (projecting, much?) he leaves notes on the machines. Nursey thinks it’s hilarious and starts writing back. Dex’s notes get increasingly pissy.

Because Dex is always angrily switching the guy’s clothes into the dryer, he starts recognizing some of the things - SpongeBob boxers, soft green T-shirts, black skinny jeans. Then there’s some things that should not go in the dryer, and since Dex likes to get the most out of something that costs a lot of money, he starts telling Washer Hog what things should be air dried, or are cold-water was only. Cue conversation through post-its, cue both boys being like hmm I wonder what this person actually looks like??

They finally meet when Dex goes to the gym one day and sees The Most Attractive Person Ever doing squats in these sinful shorts and a T-shirt that he recognizes as belonging to the Washer Hog, because it has a Neruda quote hand-written on it. Dex nearly drops his weights on his feet. He finishes his workout, and then goes to change. Washer Hog/Unfairly Attractive Person is in the locker room, and before Dex can help himself, he goes “you know, we do have a website where you can have the washers send a reminder to you when your clothes are done,” and the guy just stares at him for a second before bursting into laughter.

A few months later, Dex doesn’t come down immediately to get his clothes out of the washer. He is distracted, by the excuse that since all their clothes are being washed, they don’t have anything to wear. In the washer sits (among other things) a shirt with a Neruda quote, and quite a few flannels.

Hog the washers? We'll see about that

So I live in an apartment building that has a shared laundry in the basement. There are 10 washers and 10 dryers. I had a single load of laundry to do before a flight tomorrow morning. So I headed downstairs with my basket.

Two machines are running when I get down there. There’s also a single couple taking up EIGHT washers to sort their laundry.

I asked politely if they could divide one of them up into 1/7ths and put it in with their others so I can use a machine. They decline (apparently they have a system…) and tell me to wait however long it takes for the next person to claim their stuff to get the next machine.

At this point I realize it’s time to get petty.

I wait until they leave and then go hit the pause button on all of their machines. I need to stall. Then I wait for the next washer to free up. I transfer this innocent bystanders ratty old towels immediately, pay for their dryer and leave a note to which dryer it’s in. Then I start my washer, and I hit “run” on my machine. I wait a few more minutes, and then resume all of their washers.

They come back down in the 40mins it takes to run and are mildly confused by why their machines are taking longer than usual. They suspect no foul play. By this point my washer is finishing up, so I grab a laundry cart and empty it out. I then proceed to take my laundry and divide it into 8 different dryers (like 2 shirts and a couple socks per dryer lol) and set them all running, one by one, as they watch in bitter disbelief.

And then I settle down in a chair to watch my $12.50 of petty revenge spin.

Tl;dr person took up all the washers in the laundry room, so I made them watch as I took all the dryers.

EDIT: y'all are real hung up on the towels I put in the dryer, so:

No, the towels did not belong to the jerks. Yes, I moved someone else’s stuff. The towels were sitting, damp, in the washer and I needed to use it. Yes, I could have just waited, but I didn’t. I tossed them in the dryer instead, because if someone took my towels out and left them to get musty, I would be pissed. In any case, I feel like it worked out, because no one ever came to claim them in the time that I was down there, so the owner clearly either forgot or didn’t give a fuck. They got free dry towels out of the deal, and I got petty revenge ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Hot Mess

*Laundry Mat AU inspired by this fabulous headcanon by @ronanlynchamiright. Thank you so much!!! The world needs Ronan in brightly colored briefs.

Adam is a hot mess by the time he’s biked to the laundry mat. His shirt doesn’t have a single inch of dry fabric, all of it soaked through by sweat. He locks his bike out front and plucks at his shirt self-consciously. His laundry—all of his clothes except the ones he’s currently wearing—is shoved in a large canvas bag he bought at the thrift store. His cleaner clothes are at the top of the bag and his grimy shop clothes are shoved to the bottom. Adam’s got laundry day down to a science, knowing exactly how much he can stuff into a single load, how much detergent will be required, how many quarters it will take to wash and dry two loads.

The laundry mat is almost empty, something else that Adam has planned out; Wednesday nights are the best time to do laundry because half the town is at church and the other half is too busy not being in church to swing by the laundry mat. As Adam shoves the door open he notices the only other person inside is a guy who looks to be about his age but that’s all they have in common.

The guy is sitting on top of one of the washers, his head tipped back against the wall, expensive headphones sealed over his ears. He’s totally still, except for his feet, which are braced on the wall of dryers across from him. His heavy black boots tap along to whatever he’s listening to. He’s about the most visually interesting guy Adam’s ever seen in Henrietta and he looks like danger personified: shaved scalp, tattoo ink visible from where his cutaway black wife beater hangs open at the sides. He’s kind of scrawny but not weak looking.

Adam eyes him warily before setting down his bag and pulling the bottom of his shirt up to wipe the sweat off his face; it barely makes a difference. When he looks up the guy is staring at him, well, staring at his stomach. Adam feels the back of his neck heat. He knows that his toned body looks nice but it’s still a surprise to catch people looking, especially when the person in question looks like every bad decision he would make if he ever went to any of the parties his roommates keep inviting him to.

In clear violation of social norms the other guy doesn’t look away and Adam feels his blush creeping to his ears. He picks up his bag and walks forward, pretending not to notice, trying to focus on finding an available washer. The first three are taken, two of them are still running while the third has stopped but the clothes have been left inside. The guy sits on the fourth washer, staring at Adam. It feels like intimidation and Adam bristles. He can see that the fifth washer is available and he waits for the guy to put his legs down so he can get by. Adam makes eye contact and the guy just smirks at him.

“Hey man,” Adam says, his voice cold but civil, “can you move your legs?”

The guy pulls his headphones down around his neck. Adam can hear loud electronica, like what his roommate Chris constantly listens to.

“You gotta pay the toll first,” the guy says. His voice is low, a seductive snarl that makes Adam’s chest feel warm.

“What?” Adam can’t believe this guy. A toll?

The guy cocks his head and gives Adam another appraising look, like he’s trying to decide what he should charge, what Adam can afford. It’s obvious that this guy has money: Beats headphones, Doc Martens, fancy jeans that look beyond distressed, the back piece alone would have cost more than Adam makes in a month working his summer job.

“Your name.” It isn’t a question.

Adam stares back, the heat spreading to his throat. Anger wars with attraction but it’s his pride that wins.

“Fuck you,” Adam shoots back. He puts every ounce of meanness into his voice.

“That’s a hell of a name,” the guy replies, grinning. It makes him look even more handsome. “Your parents must really hate you.”

“Oh, they do,” Adam answers. “You gonna move?”


It’s that damn smile that pushes Adam over the edge. He hates bastards who think they can do what they want because they’re good looking, because they have money. Adam doesn’t think twice before he knocks the guy’s boots down. They thud against the washer, hollow and loud in the empty laundry mat.

The guy laughs and kicks his heels against the washer in rhythm to the beat of his music. He smiles as Adam squeezes by and starts loading his clothes in the washer.

They don’t speak but Adam can feel the other guy’s eyes on him and it makes him feel flustered. His hands shake a little as he feeds quarters in the machine and he drops one. It rolls behind the washer and Adam knows, even as he gets down on his knees to look, that he’s never getting it back. In the narrow space between the machines he sees nothing but dust bunnies. He wants to smack the washer in frustration; it shouldn’t matter but he had brought exactly the correct amount for two loads, washed and dried. He’ll have to forego drying the second load.

Before he can climb to his feet Adam feels something cold touch the side of his neck, by his ear. That smoky, raspy voice says, “I think you dropped this.”

Adam looks up and finds the other guy leaning towards him, holding a quarter between his thumb and index finger like he just pulled it from Adam’s ear. He’s still grinning like he’s been told a dirty joke, but something about his vibe has softened, enough that Adam doesn’t immediately smack his hand away.

Adam palms the quarter, noticing the silvery scars on the guy’s forearms, an out of character detail that nags at him.

“Thanks,” Adam says, adding the quarter to the total in the washer. He selects the wash cycle, load size, and temperature and presses the start button. The washer surges to life and Adam settles against it feeling more tired than he should.

The guy kicks the toe of his boot against Adam’s thigh, demanding his attention. Adam sighs and turns to him, already regretting accepting the quarter.

“So,” the guy asks, “you come here often?”

Adam snorts a laugh. “Really dude? You’re trying to pick me up at the laundry mat?”

The guy continues to stare. It’s unnerving.

“Why not?” he asks. “My name is Ronan, by the way.”

“I don’t remember asking.” Adam’s pleased by the harsh frown the guy—Ronan—gives him. “I’m going to go do my homework. Have a nice life.”

Ronan gives a surprised or affronted huff but doesn’t bother Adam as he settles into one of the cracked plastic chairs near the entrance. Adam pulls his textbook out of his battered backpack and starts reading over the week’s assignment. Taking online summer courses seemed like a good use of his time when he signed up for them at the beginning of May but now he’s regretting it.

Adam shifts in his seat, trying to get comfortable. His sweaty shirt is cold against his skin and the seat is murder on his spine. He leans forward, the large textbook open on his knees. From time to time he steals glances at Ronan. The other guy has gone back to listening to his music. He looks better when he’s not being an asshole. Adam finds himself staring too long, thinking too much about Ronan coming onto him. Ronan looks over and catches Adam in the act and Adam flushes before ducking his head and going back to his book. When he looks again Ronan’s eyes are closed but he’s smirking.

After about thirty minutes Adam’s first load is done and he gets up and puts it in the dryer and starts his second load. Ronan intentionally ignores him and Adam tries to not let it bother him. After all, he shut the guy down, what was he expecting? While he’s pulling the last of his dirty clothes from the bag Ronan’s dryer buzzes, the cycle finished.

Ronan hops down and grabs a mesh bag that unfolds neatly. Ronan hip checks Adam as he moves to open the dryer. Adam grits his teeth but before he can come up with a scathing comment he sees what Ronan’s pulling out of the dryer: handful after handful of vibrant, neon-colored briefs. Adam’s mouth goes dry. The brand name, printed on the wide, elastic waistband reads Kalvin Clein but that’s not right. Adam’s never owned Calvin Klein anything but he knows how it’s spelled. The briefs don’t look like cheap knock-offs, though. In fact they look obscenely luxurious.

Ronan leans further into the dryer, digging around for the last of his briefs. Adam doesn’t mean to ogle him but he does, and he sees that custom brand peeking above the top of Ronan’s low-slung jeans, catches a flash of brilliant fuchsia fabric before Ronan pulls out of the dryer, a pair of lime green briefs twirling from his index finger.

Ronan winks at Adam and tosses the last pair on the veritable mountain of undergarments.

“See you later, Fuck You,” Ronan calls over his shoulder as he walks out of the laundry mat. Adam watches as Ronan climbs into a sexy BMW and smoothly whips out of the parking lot.

Later that night, when Adam strips out of his clothes to take a much-needed shower, a scrap of paper falls out of the pocket of his jeans. Adam stoops down and picks it up. Scrawled on the back of an ad for a psychic hotline is a number and a name: Ronan Lynch. Despite himself, Adam grins and tucks the number in his textbook.


[This was originally intended to be a one shot but folks wanted more and I’m always happy to write more Pynch! Also on my AO3: justdk]

OtaYuri fic recs #20

Lurk by Sicknote, explicit, 5.9k, bar AU, married!Otabek, warning: infidelity

“Hey, since we’re asking questions, does your wife know what you get up to every Friday night?”

The muscle in Otabek’s jaw tightens. “Don’t talk about her.” He warns.

“Why not?” Yuri gets up close to Otabek and his eyes gleam dangerously, openly goading him. “You’re the one that mentions her whenever you’re trying to pretend that you don’t want to fuck me.”

This shitty dive bar had been Otabek’s weekly sanctuary from his mundane white picket fence life – that was until Yuri Plisetsky dug deep under his skin and fucked it all up.

I’m more than a shot in the dark by StrikerEureka, explicit, 24.4k, A/B/O AU, warning: mentions of mpreg

Part 4 of the Loved you from the start series

After Otabek’s rut, Yuri travels back to Almaty to spend his heat with him. Afterward, he meets Otabek’s mother and sister, and his best friend, Maxim.

It almost doesn’t feel real. The stretched, aching bond between them tugs tight and fresh, knocking the breath out of him.

Yuri shoves his way through the people in front of them, ignoring their shouts as he elbows past. Otabek meets him with open arms, catching him as Yuri practically leaps against his chest. He knocks his jaw painfully against Otabek’s shoulder, but he ignores it, clinging and pressing in as tightly as he can. He buries his nose behind Otabek’s ear and takes his first deep inhale of his scent in over a month.

It’s a Mess, It’s a Start by larkscape, explicit, 5.4k, warning: underage

It wasn’t like Yuri hadn’t noticed before, though. Otabek had been watching him with speculation is his eyes since they first saw each other across the hotel lobby Wednesday evening and the scrutiny had only escalated since, particularly after Yuri showed up at the club last night. And when Yuri asked — all right, demanded — that Otabek join him in the exhibition skate, Otabek had given in without even the slightest hesitation, and his fevered expression during the performance left no room for doubt. No one was that good an actor. Yuri was sure he’d read this right.

Ninety percent sure.

After the GPF exhibition, Yuri knew exactly what he wanted, and what he wanted was to get his hands on Otabek.

Crushed by tootsonnewts, general audiences, 1.4k

See, here’s the thing: Otabek has a lane. He likes to stay in that lane. He knows the speed limit, he knows where the buttons on the dashboard are, he knows the best way to push the gas pedal. Yuri’s been his passenger for a long time now. He thought Yuri knew and understood everything there possibly was to know and understand about Otabek’s lane and the proverbial vehicle he drives in it. So this is an interesting speed bump.

or, the time yuri found one of otabek’s old costumes.

I’m A Bad Bitch by annabeth, explicit, 1.7k, small town AU, Otabek/Yuri/JJ, warning: underage

When they walk into the club, Yuri knows every eye is on him. This is because he’s clad in next to nothing: a lace bustier that shows off his nipples and bite marks…

Coin Laundry by Anonymous, mature, 2.4k, laundromat AU

Yuri is sitting on the broken washer doing homework when the new guy walks in.

Vain in Costume by notgneissatall, explicit, 3.3k, warning: Yuri/OMC through a glory hole

There’s nobody more impatient than Yuri Plisetsky.

In Parallel by BoxWineConfessions, explicit, 1.5k, warning. underage

Otabek reaches for something, anything to clean up with. He finds a discarded sock among the rest of his clothing, and hastily wipes his skin. Although Yuri can be petulant at times, it’s nothing in comparison to what Yuri does to Otabek. Otabek ceases to be the third place medalist at Worlds in 2016. He ceases to be the gold medalist at this year’s NHK. Instead, he’s reduced to being a child all over again.

Control issues by Blownwish, explicit, 3.5k, warning: underage

Taking control of Yuri is not so easy.

Size Matters by ignaz, explicit, 3.8k

Yuri tries to convince Otabek of the virtues of measuring one’s dick. When Otabek says no, Yuri accepts the answer with all the grace and maturity you’d expect, which is to say none whatsoever.

Full Service Tops by Blownwish, explicit, 1.9k, Otabek/Yuri/JJ, warning: underage

Yuri likes putting Otabek and JJ together. That combination is so good and nasty.

Untitled by yuri-with-the-good-hair, 796, PG-13, summer vacation AU

Yuri smells like bubblegum—the potent sugar-sweet kind from the gas station on the corner. For Otabek, it’s the smell of summer. School lets out and Yuri is instantly shoving two pieces of the contraband into his mouth, discarding the wrappers into Otabek’s hands and smiling devilishly as he darts off towards Otabek’s bike where it waits for their first adventure.

Dream Smotherer by notgneissatall, explicit, 2k

Yuri tests out a new look.

Hog the washers? We'll see about that

So I live in an apartment building that has a shared laundry in the basement. There are 10 washers and 10 dryers. I had a single load of laundry to do before a flight tomorrow morning. So I headed downstairs with my basket.

Two machines are running when I get down there. There’s also a single couple taking up EIGHT washers to sort their laundry.

I asked politely if they could divide one of them up into 1/7ths and put it in with their others so I can use a machine. They decline (apparently they have a system…) and tell me to wait however long it takes for the next person to claim their stuff to get the next machine.

At this point I realize it’s time to get petty.

I wait until they leave and then go hit the pause button on all of their machines. I need to stall. Then I wait for the next washer to free up. I transfer this innocent bystanders ratty old towels immediately, pay for their dryer and leave a note to which dryer it’s in. Then I start my washer, and I hit “run” on my machine. I wait a few more minutes, and then resume all of their washers.

They come back down in the 40mins it takes to run and are mildly confused by why their machines are taking longer than usual. They suspect no foul play. By this point my washer is finishing up, so I grab a laundry cart and empty it out. I then proceed to take my laundry and divide it into 8 different dryers (like 2 shirts and a couple socks per dryer lol) and set them all running, one by one, as they watch in bitter disbelief.

And then I settle down in a chair to watch my $12.50 of petty revenge spin.

Tl;dr person took up all the washers in the laundry room, so I made them watch as I took all the dryers.

EDIT: y'all are real hung up on the towels I put in the dryer, so:

No, the towels did not belong to the jerks. Yes, I moved someone else’s stuff. The towels were sitting, damp, in the washer and I needed to use it. Yes, I could have just waited, but I didn’t. I tossed them in the dryer instead, because if someone took my towels out and left them to get musty, I would be pissed. In any case, I feel like it worked out, because no one ever came to claim them in the time that I was down there, so the owner clearly either forgot or didn’t give a fuck. They got free dry towels out of the deal, and I got petty revenge ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Laundry Day (Jared Kleinman X Reader)

WARNINGS: Heavy smut, (scratching, hair pulling,light spanking)…Like this essentially just porn so… Also swearing.

You’d been staring at the washing machine for around 6 minutes. All the others where full and on their cycle apart from this one. It was full of wet clothes but the wash finished when you’d stepped into the buildings Laundromat. No one had come in to collect them and you were the only one in the room. It was a cardinal sin to take out other people’s wet clothes and put yours in… Usually. And in normal circumstances you were totally abiding of this rule… You stared at the door trying to will the owner to come through and collect them.

Your clothes needed washed today. You were a waitress and your uniform reeked of coffee and was stained to shit. You glance one more time at the door and then your phone. It’s been 7 minutes now. Surely there’s a subsection of the rule that includes a time limit right? Like if your careless enough to leave your wet clothes in the washer then you shouldn’t care if they get taken out. You’d never leave clothes; and if you did and someone took them out then that would be your own fault.

You wait another minute. Jesus ok, they weren’t coming back for these any time soon. You opened the machine and filled your arms with the wet flannel shirts, jeans and kaki shorts. Even if they did come back during your wash you could just say someone else took them out. Totally covered.

You heard the bell above the door go. He was staring at you and you looked back, helplessly clutching the stack of clothes, “what the hell?” He shouted. You instinctively dropped what you were holding on the floor, “I… Uh… I…” You stumble through your words and he’s walking quickly towards you, “what kind of person does that? It’s an unspoken rule that your not a total asshole here.” He was only an inch taller than you and seemed a lot less threatening. His glasses where slipping down his nose and he was flushed..

“You were gone 8 minutes.” You snapped. He looked very briefly embarrassed; like a little kid caught drawing on a wall, and then broke out of it, “you didn’t even wait 10 minutes? Jesus Christ.” He began picking up his clothes. You clenched your teeth, “Look man, if you were so desperate for your clothes why didn’t you just wait here?”

“I have shit to do. We can’t all just sit and wait for the washer to stop.” He started loading his clothes back into the machine, you watched mouth agape, “I’m sorry but what the ever loving fuck do you think your doing?” You draw out and you see him begin to snigger, “you dropped them, I have to wash them again.” He went to close the door but you jammed your foot into it, “you’re joking. I didn’t stand here for 10 minutes-“

“8 minutes.” He corrected.

“Whatever! I didn’t stand here for 8 minutes just to have you put them in again. You’re gonna have to wait your God damn turn.” You where looking up at him seething, not quite realising how close gotten to him, “and another thing, if I see you pulling my shit out as revenge I’ll…”

“You’ll what?” He was calmer than you and it made you want to strangle him. You’re mouths slightly open because there was no real end to that threat, “I’ll do… Something.”

“I’m terrified.” He was deadpan and it was infuriating. You weren’t a specifically violent person but Jesus he got under your skin for whatever reason. He was smug and calm and weirdly attractive and you just wanted to slam him against the washer.

“I’m putting my clothes in, dickhead.” You whisper, opening the door with your foot and taking out his clothes; putting them on the top of the machine as you loaded your own, “like hell you are- it’s your fault they’re dirty again.”

But it was too late. You’d closed the door and hit start. He was bright red, “Jesus you’re irritating.” He was a lot closer now and you sat on top of the moving machine as if to safe guard your property, “find another machine.” His eyes looked you up and down and you felt your stomach do a small flip. It was probably the vibrations.

“You’re the worst.”

“What? I waited and you weren’t here! You’re the worst!” It was a weak insult and your almost embarrassed for mimicking him. You watch As he steps forward, directly in front of you and taller now that you were sitting. It was suddenly a little harder to make eye connection with him as an unwilling heat rose to your face. It was definitely the vibrations from the washing machine. He leaned forward, “you can’t just… Take out people’s shit…” He looked a little distracted and still furious and it was a little hot. You glanced up, “I can if they’re a douchebag.”

“Fuck you.” He whispers.

Suddenly you’re inches apart from each other. You can see he’s staring at your chest and your breathing maybe purposefully a little heavier than needed, “Fuck you.” You’re not entirely sure why your both whispering in a room where you’re the only ones there. A minute goes by of silence and suddenly his hands are on your hips and he’s dragging you forward, lips crashing in a violent, vicious manner. You tear your hands through his hair and pull him further forward. You lock your thighs around his waist and he pulls you up, lifting you and slamming you into the neighbouring wall, you want to shout in pain as your back thuds but you’re not giving him the satisfaction. Instead you rake your nails down his back and he drops you lightly to the floor, his hand pulling your hair and running up your torso to your bra, groping you.

You can’t help but whine a little into the kiss and feel him smile. You push against him and he stumbles back against the line of machines. He looks pissed that you broke the kiss and you grab him by the collar and bring him to you. Your teeth bite down in his bottom lip and his hands wrap around your waist. You feel his hands travel to your ass and squeeze and you push him to the floor. He falls and drags you with him and you straddle his hips. He pulls your shirt up and you start unbuckling his belt, his eyes widen a little but makes no attempt to stop you. He lifts your skirt up and you start kissing down his neck, biting and sucking as you go while slowly removing his shirt.

He pulls his jeans down to reveal Spider-Man underwear and you chuckle, “Really?”

“Fuck you.” He repeats quietly, smacking your ass enough to leave a light pink mark. You feel yourself blush; there’s a large part of you that doesn’t want him to know your into it. You want to be dominant and strong and hurt him. You pull his hair and he pulls a little more tentatively at your underwear, running his index finger lightly through the lace and watches your eyes briefly flutter. You get on your knees and pull down your underwear, fully knowing it’s too late to turn back now. You watch him pull his pants down too his knees to reveal a fully hard dick.

You pause. You didn’t think this far ahead, “I’m not fucking you without a condom.” You object and he nods, “wallet. My wallet in my pocket. You’re closer. My- yeah that.” You reach into his wallet and pull out a condom, noticing his driving license and realising you didn’t even know his name. You smirk at the unflattering image, “nice picture Jared.” You throw his wallet aside and slide the codon down his dick. He’s watching a little hungrily and you look up at him, “I could just… Get up and leave, you know.” You remind him. The cocky demeanour is instantly gone, “you wouldn’t dare.”

You ease yourself on top of him and wince a little as he grabs your hips, you rock back and forth a little and he starts hitting your G-Spot. You close your eyes and bite your lip as he thrusts into you, running his hands up your thigh and around to your ass. You lean back and grind on him, pushing him into the floor. His he smacks your ass again and you let out an embarrassingly loud gasp. He’s grinning like an idiot and you pull on his hair.

“You like that? You know you deserve it for what you did to me?” He’s whispering and your not entirely sure if he knows you can here him, “Go fuck yourself.” You whisper back and he looks up, thrusting harder into you, sitting up a little on his elbow and smacking you again, harder. You lose your balance and wrap your arms around his neck, biting down in his clavicle and earning a loud moan.

You feel yourself losing control as your grinding starts to lose rhythm, you’re breathing heavier and his hand that was spanking you reached your chest, pawing at your tits. He pulls lightly your nipples and you throw your head back, moaning louder than you ever have before. Electricity spikes around your nerves and you squeeze your eyes shut. He thrusts harder into you and suddenly becomes sporadic himself, “yeah? You fu-oh you like that?” He’s shouting as he tenses his whole body and his eyes screw shut.

He’s gasping into your neck and holding you as he cums. Shaking a little as he rests his head back. He’s grinning and it takes a second for you to realise that you are too. Fuck that was fun. Your whole body aches and you can feel on your back where you hit the wall; your neck hurts from the biting; and he had left bruises from his hands and fingertips. Though looking at him you’d done your damage too, he was scratched to shit from your nails and he had hickys down his throat and chest. He looked really good.

You start pulling down your skirt and standing up, he’s reaching for his shirt when the washer beeps. You open the door and pull out your clothes quietly, “that was… Um…” You begin, “amazing?” He finishes, redoing his shirt and pausing when he notices the light bleeding from the claw marks you’d left behind.

“I was going to say never happening again.” You’re trying desperately to fix what had clearly become sex hair. You piled your clothes into the basket you carried them in and started to walk out.

“I never caught your name.” He shouts after you.

“(Y/N).” you don’t look back as you tell him. You’re not exactly why but you’re still smiling, possibly because that was some of the best sex you’d ever had.

“I do my laundry every other Wednesday.” He calls out, “If you ever want to… Also do laundry.” He sounds a little lame and you chuckle, “yeah like I said: never again.”

You try and convince yourself that you just so happen to need to wash some clothes on the same day at the same time as him… 3 months in a row.

“I have three stories.

1. This happened in my old house. It was during summer break and I had stayed up almost all night talking to my friend on the phone. After I got done on the phone I decided to get a little snack, at this time I still had my black and white cat. So when you walked into the kitchen in that house, the laundry room was directly connected to it, and what my cat usually liked to do was sit on the washer and watch us do our things in the kitchen. So as i’m getting my snack, I see something white and about the size of my cat run past the doorway to the kitchen, so naturally I assume it’s my cat. Then I hear a noise and turn around and realize it’s my cat jumping onto the washer, he was in the laundry room the whole time.

2. This happened in another house when I was much younger. The way the house was set up was that my room was right next to my both my brother’s room and my parents’ room was right across from ours. So I get up to ask my parents something, I don’t remember what, and I go in the hallway, hear the boys in their room playing video games, and walk into my parents’ room. At this time my dad worked a night shift so he was almost always asleep during the day, and he snores VERY loud. So when I walk in the lights are off and I hear snoring, I assume it’s my dad sleeping so I close the door as quietly as possible as not to wake him and go downstairs to ask my mom the question. When I go down there i’m expecting to see my mom sitting in one of the chairs, but when I go down there I see my mom AND dad downstairs watching TV. To this day it STILL freaks me out.

3. This last story takes place at my nana’s house, a house that is VERY old and you can hear just about every footstep in the house because the wood floor makes so much noise. I was spending the night that night. So my great grandmother lives with my nana and papaw, and she has Alzheimer’s, so sometimes she’ll get up in the middle of the night to do weird and random things and my papaw has to get up and help her back to bed. 

So as I’m laying there in bed I hear footsteps walking around the living room and I pass it off as my great grandma walking around and thought that soon my papaw would come up and help her back to bed. Sure enough I hear his heavy footsteps walk up the steps. But I hear them stop for a minute and he walks towards my room and knocks on the door. ‘Come in,’ I say. 

He walks in with a very confused look on his face. ‘Were you walking around?’ he says. 

‘No, but I heard footsteps, I thought it was great grandma, wasn’t it?’ I say. 

‘, I just checked her room and she’s fast asleep.’ he says. 

‘Oh…um…okay.’ and with both stood there for a second confused. 

‘Well…um, goodnight,’ he says. 

‘Okay, goodnight,’ I say. 

So about 5 minutes pass and I’m a bit freaked out, and I hear the footsteps again, but this time they’re coming up the steps and down the hallway towards the room I was staying in, I assume it’s my papaw, but the footsteps stop right in front of my door and don’t do anything. At this point i’m just trying to go the fuck to sleep so I don’t have to hear that creepy shit. 

10 minutes pass, I hear the same footsteps going the same direction but faster and louder and again stop right at my door. Few minutes past, same footsteps, same direction, but faster and louder. This happens twice more and the last time the footsteps were very loud and very fast, and again, stop right at my door. So I’m freaked the fuck out, and can’t pass it off as my great grandma because she can’t move that quickly, and can’t pass it off as my nana or papaw because I would have heard their footsteps going back downstairs, and they can’t move that fast either. 

Even though I was pretty sure it wasn’t my papaw, I still asked him about it in the morning, since he likes to play around with me and my brothers and scare us and stuff. ‘I remember the random footsteps, but I have no clue what you mean by the ones coming up the steps and to your room. I wouldn’t have done that, I was already super tired when I woke up to check the first ones.’ And I was fucking terrified, I never spent the night at their house again after that.”

By: @dankusdoofus

anonymous asked:



“We were just pretending to be lovers, but I’m not pretending anymore.. I need to know if you feel the same way.”  - Harrison Osterfield

Originally posted by harrison-osterfield-appreciation

You sat in the laundromat waiting for your clothes to finish so you could go home, while you were waiting you scrolled through your phone when you got a text from Harrison. It was just him asking if he could talk to you and asking where you were. A sigh escaped your lips as you thought about your past with him, it was always pleasant, until it got sappy and lovey, or so the both of you thought. You know those moments you have to convince yourself you like someone or something? That’s how it was when you guys first started dating, but soon after you both realized you only thought you loved each other and ended it. Of course you two remained friends, it just got awkward at some points. Snapping out of your thought as the bell on the door rang, your eyes shot towards the door thinking it was Harrison. The big smile on your lips dropped once you realized it was just some older lady, and after her followed a younger man probably a couple years older than you. He sent a wink your way, causing you to turn around and cringe. After a couple minutes the guy came up to you still wearing the smirk that he had when he walked in the door. “ Uh can I help you?” You ask in an unsure tone and kinda scooted away from him, but since you were sitting on the washers that your clothes were in, you couldn’t get far. “Do you have a boyfriend?” He asks, rather straight forward throwing you off a bit. 

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….. Shit. I knew this day would come.

While Hiccup was traveling the US of A, I decided to be nice and wash her Crutchie cosplay for her………..
When I put everything into the wash. Something snuck in there that I wasn’t aware of.
My bright red. Marco Diaz. Hoodie.
It turned everything a deep BRIGHT PINK. including the Henley. I’m talking such a dark pink that it was ALMOST red.
So I immediately put it it through the wash again with bleach. Didn’t work. Let it sit in the washer for 2 ENTIRE DAYS in half water half bleach. Still pink.
So I put it in a bucket of straight up bleach (this was about a day and a half before she got back) and I bought a rush ordered Henley off of Amazon just in case. Woke up the next morning and thank god the pink was 99.99999% gone. But now it was bright white.
Shit again.
So I stole 30 packets of black Lipton tea from work to tea die it.
Got home from work. Tea died it, but then it was too brown and it was getting way too late. Hiccup was returning that very next day, so I stayed up dying it, then bleaching it, then dying it again until it looked CLOSE ENOUGH.
I thanked all the gods and Oprah, then promptly passed tf out.

Also anon #1: You’re just as amazing! Thank you so much!!
@enjolrastuck @angry-ace

A Man Worth Fighting For-15

Summary: Seventy years has passed and the world has changed. You thought you were moving on until Steve Rogers asks you for a favor which leads to a discovery that will change everything. So much for retirement. Sequel to “A Girl Worth Fighting For.” Bucky Barnes x Reader

Words: 2757
Warnings: Language, graphic depictions of violence, blood and gore
Tags at the end

AN: Please let me know if you’re not being tagged and you’ve asked me to, ‘cause I’m a giant mess and I’ve been cleaning up my tags. Also, I apologize for this chapter. You’ll see why.

Part 14   Masterlist

Originally posted by insanityofthemoon

Cold air crept up the back of your neck, wrapping around you like an unwelcome blanket. The stars above twinkled against the ocean of black sky, the gentle trickle of water from an earlier rain draining down the gutters below you. The roof was slick and you nearly slipped, but settled easily with your legs dangling over the side as you pulled a cigarette to your lips. The nicotine did little to calm your nerves as you leaned back, shivering as the water seeped into the back of your shirt.

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Give Me Love, 4

Throne Of Glass High School AU

Summary: He thinks she wants nothing to do with him. She thinks he can’t remember her. Aelin and Rowan were friends once upon a time. But high school drove them apart. However, one night - one party - is about to change not only their lives, but the lives of their friend as well.

Chapters: XXX


Friday Night:

“Remember. If you’re going drinking, don’t drink and drive. Watch your drink at all times. And Aunt Alision and Uncle Gavriel are home tonight. They said if you need anything, anything at all, to just give them a call.”

“Mom,” Aelin crossed her arms as she leaned against the doorframe of the kitchen. “I’ll be fine. You say basically the same thing every time I go out.”

“Because I worry about you,” Evalin fixed her daughter a pointed look before looking down to double check the contents in her purse, again. “I can’t stop you from drinking, even though you are underage, but I can try and make sure you stay safe.”

Aelin pushed herself off the doorframe. She walked over to the island in the middle of the kitchen, standing across from her mother.

“Stop worrying. You have nothing to worry about.” Aelin reassured her. “It’s just a house party. It’s not like we’re actually going to a club or anything.”

“And whose house party did you say it was again?” Evalin asked, still digging through her purse.

“I didn’t…” When Aelin told her mother just a few hours ago that was she going to a party tonight, she purposely didn’t tell her who’s party it was. But as Evalin looked up, giving her daughter a raised eyebrow, Aelin sighed. Her mother wasn’t going to go anywhere until Aelin told her. After all, Aelin had to get her stubbornness from somewhere.

After clearing her throat slightly, she said, “Rowan Whitethorn.”

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If you happened it walk into the same one that they were at, you wouldn’t have noticed them. They didn’t stand out in the crowd. They didn’t have a neon sign over their head that screamed ‘look at me!’ They looked like you and me. Normal. Average. Nothing like the murderers that the media tried to make them out to be.

The taller one would most likely have a book in his hands, the spine broken from being read so many times. Traveling as much as he did, he wasn’t able to bring that many books with him, only that one that he had in his hands. The same book that his brother had gotten him so many years ago because he was bored out of his mind at another laundromat that was very much like this one.

Rows and rows of washers and dryers, all rumbling and clanking together as they grow older washing the clothes of people whom didn’t have one of their own.

And the older one, the one with green eyes, would be sitting on top of the washers despite the disapproving glances from the old lady who sat up front who ran the place. He would watch his brother read the pages that he’s read so many times. He would watch the storefront, watching people pass on by, carrying on with their lives.

When the washing machine would finally rumble to a stop, either one of the boys, the tall one would dog ear his book or the eldest one would climb down from his seat, and they would move the armfuls of plaid and denim that had been worn soft from years of being washing in these machines that had been used one too many times.

The bloodstains and dirt that had previously stained the fabric would be washed away in that dirty water.

Only to be worn again that night, stretched across those broad shoulders that had too many scars to count, just waiting to be covered in red again.


Secrets - SoA: Chapter 10

Summary: Reader has lived in a life full of secrets. When her father dies unexpectedly and sends her on a trip all over the country, she finds out just how much like her father she really is. The end of her trip brings her to Charming, CA where she finally gets some big pieces of her family puzzle put back in place and form new relationships with the people there.
Chapter 10: Sunday morning. Unexpected request.
Warnings: language, (implied smut, doesn’t really qualify, assumed sexytime)
A/N: If it wasn’t clear before, this takes place after the events of the final episode, SPOILERS! Italics are for Chibs and his inner thoughts. Bold is for the reader’s inner thoughts.
Word Count: 2300
Tags: @telford-ortiz-teller  @sam-samcro  @tstieff  @yourcroweater  @kacilove26  @hiddlelove  @evilsorceress  @reallynigga21  @suz-123  @between-shades-of-winchester  @caitcrook  @i-was-made-of-nutella @charlottecl  @gunsnrosesislife

If your name is struck through I can’t tag you, sorry!


Secrets Masterlist

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I bought some pajamas and socks today, so I started a load of laundry with the new things in it. 

Some time later, Zlato gently reminded me, “Did you need to move over the clothes to the dryer, or are they all to be dried flat?”

Oh, no, I’d just forgotten! 

I opened the dryer, and found that there were dry clothes in there. I pulled them out, and folded them, and put the wet clothes into the dryer. I took a folded blanket into the bedroom.

Some time later, Zlato prompted me, “Do you need to start the dryer, or should I?” 

Oh, oops, I’d forgotten! 

I came in and saw that all the dry clothes were still sitting on the washer. 

I’d started the wash, but not moved the clothes over to the dryer.

Then I moved the laundry into the dryer, but not turned it on.

Then I folded the laundry, but only put a few blankets away before wandering off.

Life with ADHD. Haha.

Appliance Delivery

so this was requested by @ihaveabadreputation ​ because she really likes appliance shawn

You were scrolling through Instagram when the doorbell rang, scaring you. “I got it!” Shawn called, walking down the bare hall and opening the front door.

“Hi, I’m here to deliver the washer and everything, if you wanna show me where they’re gonna be before we get ‘em off of the truck.” A man in a navy blue shirt smiled, holding a clipboard.

“Yeah, yeah,” Shawn nodded, walking down the hall and showing him where the laundry room was. The man nodded before measuring the width of the doorway, to make sure the washer and dryer would fit. In the short span since you and Shawn had decided on the appliances, the roof to the house had been finished, and the house was nearly done. All that was left was to be furnished and painted.

You walked over and stood next to Shawn, looping your arms around his waist. “Hey, darling.” He smiled, turning his head to the side. “Are you excited to finally have a washer and dryer?” He asked.

You laughed, watching as two men hauled the washer into the house. “Yeah, we don’t have to hand wash everything.” You joked, replying to a text from a friend. “Um,” You looked at Shawn. “Hope you’re ready to learn how to set everything up and use the washer.”

“I was born ready.” He laughed, eyes darting down the hall when he heard a crash. “What was that?” He asked, walking down the hall.

One of the delivery men was laughing, the other one had a red face. “The- you guys wanted both doors to open the same way, right?” The laughing man asked, and you nodded. “Well, dumbass over here, he didn’t let me finish tightening the bolts to the door before he tried to load the dryer on top,” The man nodded to the dryer sitting next to washer at the moment. “And the door almost fell off.” He pointed to the dryer’s open door. “Nothing’s damaged, don’t worry. But it was just funny.”

You didn’t seem impressed, but Shawn held back a laugh, and he sighed. “Just don’t break anything.” He joked, and you two waited until they stacked the dryer on top of the washer.

After the two delivery men showed you and Shawn how the washer and dryer connected to the wall and turned them on to make sure they started, they left. You held the instruction manuals to the washer and dryer, and looked at your boyfriend. “Let’s learn how to do some laundry.” You spoke, opening one of the manuals.

a/n: let me know if appliance shawn is a thing u guys like, because i have some ideas planned tbh. edit: i tried to post this 3 times it wouldn’t schedule it properly i hate my life

urban-barbarian said: Hi, big fan of your work. For a prompt - derek/stiles - “It’s 2 am and we’re both doing laundry and I can see you checking out my hello kitty pajamas”

Thank you!  So I wrote this for you today and it went a little bit out of control, sorry :)

Stiles has a legit reason why he owns Hello Kitty pajama bottoms, and it has to do with Lydia and a bet—and is exactly why Stiles should never make a bet with Lydia—but they sometimes come in super handy on laundry day. Because Stiles likes to stretch his resources to the limit, he tries to go approximately two weeks without having to wash his clothes, and he has exactly fifteen pairs of boxer briefs. Today is day number sixteen, so Stiles is free-balling it, but at least the pajama pants are nice and fleecy.

It isn’t always this dire. Usually, Stiles can borrow a pair of shorts from Scott for his bi-monthly laundry extravaganza, but Scott’s down to his skivvies, too, and is staying with Kira for the weekend. Stiles weighed the pros and cons of wearing the suspect pair of basketball shorts he found under Scott’s bed with the chances of seeing anyone that would actually care what he was wearing at 2 am on a Saturday night at the 24 hour laundromat. He decided the pjs were the less gross option.

He regrets this almost instantly when he sees that Hot Angry Tank Top Dude is sitting on top of a washer and glaring down at his copy of Emma like it’s personally offended him. His tank top is a soft dove gray today and Stiles tries to maneuver his way through all the machines without flashing his kitty-covered ass.

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keith headcanons just ‘cause i’ve been staring at his goofy mullet for so long in photoshop lately:

  • dog person, but is a cat at heart
  • really sensitive movie/tv watcher, if he cares about the movie/show he doesn’t want to miss anything. he’ll get frustrated with others when he can’t hear a joke or he’s distracted during an important plot point
  • prefers to watch with closed captions on
  • smiles to himself every time he reads [DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
  • has gotten into multiple altercations at more than one fast food restaurant
  • (usually the local 24-hour mcdonalds)
  • when he chews gum he pops it, loudly, without remorse, doesn’t even realize he’s doing it
  • has never paid more than $15 for any article of clothing, ever
  • maybe it’s maybelline, maybe it’s that he only can be bothered to wash his hair once a week
  • he doesn’t give even half a shit about what people think of his hair but just for his own sanity + to keep it out of the way when he hasn’t had the time to get to it, he has a bunch of hats… baseball caps and beanies mostly. he throws it up in a low pony/bun, slaps on the hat and he outtie. but that’s only when he gets so grody even he can’t handle it
  • always has at least (1) one hair tie on him at any given time. just in case. all the girls at school knew they could hit up keith if they needed one
  • goes to a family-owned corner store for all his lowkey shopping needs because major corporations (+ capitalism in general) give him hives
  • does his laundry at the laundromat. he’s the dude who waits until he has nothing but the clothes on his back and sits on the washer in his grimy black undershirt and boxer briefs while the little old ladies tut at him and offer him butterscotch candies
  • doesn’t drink any soda except for fanta
  • hardcore netflix binger. keith, it’s been 72+ hours. house of cards can wait. please go to bed
  • gets that Warm Fuzzy Feeling® whenever someone shows him casual verbal or physical affection because he is love-starved okay he needs that Platonic Good Good™ pat his shoulder call him pal he needs it to survive
  • vending machine junkie, he’ll eat anything out of those things
  • (also they’re easy to get quick food from for cheap… a Must on his budget)
  • can and will get an attitude if u interrupt him when he’s in the middle of something. u should have known better
  • zero to savage in .3 seconds
  • watched teletubbies as a kid
0857 - rinse cycle

A character finds that the only place they can study/work in their home is the laundry room. They soon find out that sitting on top of their washer/dryer won’t help be productive either.