sitting like a lady

So I went to the eye doctor, right, and I sit down to fill out the paperwork like you do and the lady was like “Thanks, Doctor Doctor will be with you in a moment” and I was like why did she say doctor twice that’s weird but then I looked at the business cards on the table and his name was actually Dr. Chad Dockter and I looked around and the other assistant caught my eye and just nodded like “You just had the moment didn’t you”

okay but, question: why are there all these posts about dirk not knowing how actual earth things tend to work when he was likely to actually TRY and learn things because dirks like that?? instead, i propose this:

jade harley, who pretty much was raised by a goddamn dog on an island in the middle of nowhere, who got all of her social interaction through an online messaging service and in her wild prospit dreams, AND THEN SPENT 3 YRS COMPLETELY ALONE ON A BOAT FLYING THRU SPACE, horrifies her friends regularly on earthc by her lack of knowledge of some stuff

shed know basic things like whats food and whats not since she presumably grew all her veg and hunted for her meat, but imagine the following:

  • jade not understanding how loud it is normal to speak at and shouting all the time
  • jade not understanding how to act, like, physically when shes around people!! when s it normal to touch them, when isnt it, that kind of thing
  • jade having never worn makeup and done stuff like painting her nails so its all super foreign to her!!! all the girls + davepeta have a big sleepover and teach her how to apply eyeliner. she tries to user lipliner on her eyebrows
  • jade only having had basic foodstuffs, has never tried a lot of actual… dishes. shes never even had frozen pizza. 
  • jades voice being a super weird mix of accents because she ended up learning a lot of her speech online since, yknow, her only irl human interaction ended when her grandpa DIED. so she learns from things like different tv shows, etc
  • jade eats with her mouth open and speaks with it full
  • jade will bite her nails and leave the nail ‘clippings’ all over anyones sofa or floor
  • jade, having never had a parent to tell her to “sit like a lady”, sits with her legs all akimbo even if shes wearing a dress or skirt because who the fuck cares

im no jade expert but i personally think this is good

2

I……. Actually kinda wish I didn’t wake up this morning so I wouldn’t have to see these replies.

@un-desir-able congrats on being the 100000th white woman I had to explain this too. Maybe tumblr had that confetti effect for a reason. 

1. When we say “white feminism” we’re not talk about a feminist who happens to be a white woman. We’re talking about a white woman who claims she’s a feminist, yet she excludes woc and trans women. If you’re a white woman and you include those groups within your feminism, then the term “white feminist” doesn’t apply to you. You’re just a….. regular feminist who fights for the rights of ALL women. It’s not that hard to understand. 

2. “I’m white as hell and I care about every single race and gender”, no you don’t. Because if you cared you would have read the post, understood, and moved tf on. Instead, you felt the need to put in your 2 cents as a tactic to cover your own ass and disregard everything I said. You don’t care about woc, you care about yourself and your own reputation as white woman. If you don’t wanna be associated with these white racists then…. don’t be a white racist. 

3. “Don’t ya’ll get that saying “white feminism” is the exact same as saying all black girls are ghetto??? Or that all Muslims are terrorist???” 

Haha ummm……. not even a little close……….. No. 

Please do not compare being called a “white feminist” to something poc are literally MURDERED over. Sis, you are not going to get killed by a police officer for being called a white feminist, you are not going to get killed by some crazy neo-nazi KKK freak for being called a “white feminist”. The least you will get is a little critique from a lady like me. Sit down, and stop comparing apples to oranges. 

A lot of white girls in my ask have been asking me “what can I do to be a good ally?” well, don’t be like this girl. 

Listen to us, let us educate you, don’t step on us in order to make yourself feel right, don’t make it about you. When a woc makes a post like this, you need to listen. But if you feel the need to put in your 2 cents, feel free. After all this is America and you can say whatever tf you want. But don’t be all surprised when a woc retaliates with some juicy ass receipts. 

anonymous asked:

okay but the worst thing about obi-wan having ewan's singing voice is... how would he know? The jedi don't seem likely to engage in frivolous things like lullabies or singing - maybe the republic itself doesn't do music! I mean, their idea of opera is giant space bubbles! So obes has never sung before in his life until he's off to tattoonie with fussy baby luke and a woman on a ship starts singing a lullaby to quiet him and obes picks it up and BAM ewan voice, while the lady sits back like daamn

OH MY GOD OK, I have a LOT of feelings about Obi-Wan and Baby Luke on that initial trip to Tatooine. Like…how long did it take? Did they have to take the equivalent of Space Bus transportation so as not to arouse suspicion? How the hell did Obi-Wan hold it together?

This combined with the above is killing me. Poor Broken Obi-Wan and teeny newborn Luke. They are all the other has right now, and Obi-Wan knows next to nothing about newborns (even if he has met tiny kids at the Temple before, they’re not day-old babies which are a WHOLE different world.) 

And Luke is SUPER hungry and he hasn’t been sleeping and he’s really, really, fussy. And Obi-Wan is exhausted and traumatized, and worried all this crying is going to attract attention. And then Obi-Wan notices some mother on the Space Bus sing-songily calming her baby and he’s like…well, maybe I can try that. I’ve heard people singing before on various planets. He knows some traditional Mandalorian songs, maybe. 

And so he tries it. And he sounds like Obi-Wan McGregor. And Baby Luke is like 😲 followed by 😴. 

Luke always likes hearing people sing after that. He’s not entirely sure why, but it’s always been soothing. 

the breakfast club / starter sentences.

  • ❛ We’re all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it, that’s all. ❜
  • ❛ Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe? ❜
  • ❛ You ought to spend a little more time trying to make something of yourself and a little less time trying to impress people. ❜
  • ❛ I hate it. I hate having to go along with everything my friends say. ❜
  • ❛ When you grow up, your heart dies. ❜
  • ❛ Screws fall out all the time, the world is an imperfect place. ❜
  • ❛ Don’t mess with the bull, young man. You’ll get the horns. ❜
  • ❛ I don’t have to run away and live in the street. I can run away and I can go to the ocean, I can go to the country, I can go to the mountains. I could go to Israel, Africa, Afghanistan. ❜
  • ❛ Being bad feels pretty good, huh? ❜
  • ❛ Could you describe the ruckus, sir? ❜
  • ❛ What do you need a fake I.D. for? ❜
  • ❛ I’ll do anything sexual. I don’t need a million dollars to do it either. ❜
  • ❛ Eat my shorts. ❜
  • ❛ You know, you look a lot better without all that black shit under your eyes. ❜
  • ❛ So it’s sorta social, demented and sad, but social. Right? ❜
  • ❛ ‘Cause I’m telling the truth, that makes me a bitch? ❜
  • ❛ Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. The bartender says, I guess you won’t be needing a drink. Naked lady says… ❜
  • ❛ You do everything everyone tells you to do and that is a problem. ❜
  • ❛ Do you think I’d speak for you? I don’t even know your language. ❜
  • ❛ No, I don’t wear tights. I wear the required uniform. ❜
  • ❛ You’re an idiot anyway. But if you say you get along with your parents, well, you’re a liar too. ❜
  • ❛ I’m thinkin’ of tryin’ out for a scholarship. ❜
  • ❛ Don’t you want to hear my excuse?❜
  • ❛ Why do you have to insult everybody? ❜
  • ❛ Now is this the first time or the last time you do this to me? ❜
  • ❛ You’re kind of sexy when you’re angry. ❜
  • ❛ If I lose my temper you’re totaled, man. ❜
  • ❛ Why didn’t you want me to know that you are a virgin? ❜
  • ❛ I don’t think either one of them gives a shit about me. It’s like they use me just to get back at each other. ❜
  • ❛ Don’t you ever talk about my friends. You don’t know any of my friends. You don’t look at any of my friends. And you certainly wouldn’t condescend to speak to any of my friends. ❜
  • ❛ It’s wrong to destroy literature. It’s such fun to read. ❜
  • ❛ Vodka? When do you drink vodka? ❜
  • ❛ How does one become a janitor? ❜
  • ❛ By the way, that clock’s 20 minutes fast. ❜
  • ❛ I want to congratulate you for being on time. ❜
  • ❛ He’s just doing it to get a rise out of you. Just ignore him. ❜
  • ❛ Sweets. You couldn’t ignore me if you tried. ❜
  • ❛ That’s what I thought. You’re a gutless turd. ❜
  • ❛ Keep your fuckin’ hands off me! I’d expect better manners from you, _____. ❜
  • ❛ Just me. Just you and me. Two hits. Me hitting you. You hitting the floor. Anytime you’re ready, pal. ❜
  • ❛ Oh, obscene finger gestures from such a pristine girl. ❜
  • ❛ Are you a virgin? I’ll bet you a million dollars that you are. Let’s end the suspense! Is it gonna be… a white wedding? ❜
  • ❛ Have you ever kissed a boy on the mouth? ❜
  • ❛ Have you ever been felt up? Over the bra, under the blouse, shoes off… hoping to God your parents don’t walk in? ❜
  • ❛ You ask me one more question and I’m beating the shit out of you. ❜
  • ❛ What did you wanna be when you were young? ❜
  • ❛ When I was a kid, I wanted to be John Lennon. ❜
  • ❛ _____, you wanna see a picture of a guy with elephantitis of the nuts? It’s pretty tasty. ❜
  • ❛ Now this is the thought that wakes me up in the middle of the night. ❜
  • ❛ The next time I have to come in here I’m crackin’ skulls. ❜
  • ❛ Are you gonna be, like, a shopping bag lady? You know, like, sit in alleyways and, like, talk to buildings and wear men’s shoes and that kinda thing? ❜
  • ❛ I’m a fucking idiot because I can’t make a lamp? ❜
  • ❛ Yo wastoid, you’re not gonna blaze up in here. ❜
  • ❛ My God, are we gonna be like our parents? ❜