“OW!” I yelled at Carbonated Beverage. We have the same looks, I guess. I have his beautiful, majestic shiny sun-kissed natural-highlighted sandy — not like Sandy, I hate her because she’s so horrible — blonde brown-ish long hair. “Did you really have to splash water on me? I was gettin’ up, anyways!”
“I’m sorry,” Carbonated Beverage sang in response. “I love you so much you’re such a good sister you should come to the dx today I miss you hahaha you’re so cool and the gang loves to be aaround you1!1”
“hahaha totally!” I pulled on my cowboy boots. They matched my skinny jeans and tank top perfectly. And my leather jacket — duh, I’m a greaser — looked oh-so prefect with it1!
I don’t put on much for makeup because I don’t need any I’m so pretty. I’m not like the other greaser girls who wear all that makeup. But somehow everyone in my brother’s gang loves me!
“Ivory Diamond Ponygirl Sparkle Curtis!” Darry, my older brother called. “Come on and laugh and enjoy this breakfast I made or else I’ll hit you too because I’m so mean but when I’m not working 2,3493 hour shifts I find it in my heart to care about you!”
In the kitchen, I find Two-Bit, Johnny, and iwefisfsbbsuhf DALLAS. He’s this sexual magnet of a teenager that attracts me because he;s so aofdangerous and I’m soosdfj not! “H-Hi Dally.”
“Hey sweetheart dollface,” he said and I proceeded to blush so much. I’m really ugly in my opinion but everyone calls me pretty I hope Dally likes me.
Johnny is like my brother. He’s so little and fragile and I totally love friend-zoning him as my best friend!
But none of this matters, because my boyfriend is going to pick me up soon. And no — I didn’t change the tense of this story eight times!
“Bye friends and family! Two-Bit, you’re so funny! Steve, wash your face the cake I bake especially for you is all over youu!”
~O~o~“` time skip ” o~O~~
“What’s that, Ivory Diamond Ponygirl Sparkle Dakota Elaine Pearl Sierra Lavendar Curtis?!” I knew it was bad because he used my middle names and my last name.
“What is it, Darry?” I said innocently and tried to cover my makeup-covered bruise. I knew it didn’t cover well!1!! He removed my hand and gasped so loud that Coca-Cola woke up!!.
“It was your horrible hood boyfriend I’ve never, ever met, right?” Darry was so angry I tried to calm him down but it wouldn’t work ! “THat little loser —”
“I’m motherfucking dfucking dicksucking-ass here!! I am ready to fucck shit up because I am DaLLAs Winston, the *ugly in books yikes but then again pony was unreliable narrator thank you fandom* unresistable bad boi that’s always motherfucking there for your fucking motherfucking ass, dollface babycheeks!”;al
SUDDENLY DALLAS APPEARED. Where did he come from? I thought he was banging Sylvia that cheating slut who sleeps with everyone! Woah! They must be broken up again.
“OH DALLAS!” I, skinny beautiful long haired Ivory Diamond Ponygirl Sparkle Dakota Elaine Pearl Sierra Lavendar — shit, I forgot Ros(i)e – Curtis, cried and leaped into his arms.
“Hey, baby –” he suddenly changed his personality for me — “I’m gonna beat the shit out of that guy! I knew he didn’t deserve you! nOT Like I do! let’s clean you up and possibly makeout, okay??”
Suddenly I so loved. More than I’ve ever felt in my lifetime!11!
A/N: hey guys so sorry I didn’t update for six and a half months but here it is! I hope you guys like it! Guess what happens next chapter? I’m gonna give a super big hint, okay? And if I don’t get 5464 reads or follows I won’t write anymore!! How do you feel about Ivory Diamond Ponygirl Sparkle Dakota Pear Sierra Rosie Lavendar being assaulted — physically and/or sexually — and/or getting pregnant at sixteen?? dally would make a good father!! socs love jumping girls!! they’re so mean like Cherry!