sirius black joke

what she says: i’m fine
what she means: sirius black was never allowed by his family to be himself as a kid , he never got to be free, sirius spent years fighting evil, first at home and then in war, before he was imprisoned for a crime he stood on the other side off and he was labeled as one of them even though all he ever wanted was to not be one of them. sirius spent 12 years imprisoned and alone knowing two of his best friends were murdered by his other best friend who turns out not to love him as much as he loved him. all this while his last best friend, the only person he had left, thought he, sirius, had killed their three best friends. sirius lost all the people he loved in one night and was left alone for 12 years thinking about this. sirius got so skinny he could slip through the bars of his cell. sirius looked after his best friends son even while he thought sirius was a murderer and the reason his parents, sirius´ best friends, were dead. sirius later finally got his godson and one of his best friends back but the rest of the world still thought he was a vicious madman and he again had to be imprisoned but this time in his old family home that he ran away from when he was only 16 and he was again reminded of how he never fit in. sirius got little glimpses of happiness before he was killed by his cousin at only 36 years old and during those 36 years sirius black never experienced what it was like to truly be a free man

the slytherin

Albus Severus’ sorting as seen by the Marauders


James: *excitedly* Another Potter for the Gryffindors.

Lily: You don’t know that.

James: Of course I do. Look at James, he is a Gryffindor. 

Lily: That’s the stupidest argument I have ever heard.

Sirius: He is a Potter though and a Weasley, there’s no way Albus is not a Gryffindor.

Remus: Lily, you know there’s no use arguing them, why are you still trying?

James: Because the sky is blue?

Remus: Yeah, you have a point.

Lily: I know he will probably be a Gryffindor but I just don’t want to see you disappointed if he ends up in Ravenclaw or something.

James: *offended* A Potter? In Ravenclaw? Please, Evans.

Lily: Albus is nothing like James love, you might be surprised.

James: I feel like you don’t want him to be a Gryffindor.

Lily: Don’t be ridiculous, of course I do.

James: Doesn’t sound like it.

Lily: I swear you are like a child sometimes.

James: What’s childish about knowing my grandson’s house?

Lily: That’s the thing, you don’t

Sirius: *whispering* Do you want to break it up or shall I?

Remus: Be my guest.

Sirius: OI! Enough. You bicker like an old couple.

Lily: Technically we are old Black.

James: Also you are one to talk, like you and Moony are different.

Remus: Hey! This is not about us mate.

Lily: *laughing* Now it is.

Sirius: I hate it when they do that.

James: Okay, he is on the stool. Come on another Gryffindor for the Potters.

Lily: *knowingly* The Hat is taking his time with him.

Sirius: It had taken almost 2 seconds with James.

Slytherin!

Sirius: WHAT? I was rooting for you. We were all rooting for you!

Lily: Told you.

James: Sly– Slyth– Slytherin?

Remus: *shocked* You didn’t say Slytherin Lils.

Lily: Get a grip of yourself.

James: B-but he’s a– a– Slytherin.

Lily: *scolding* He is your grandson.

James: But Slytherin?

Lily: Snap the fuck out of it Potter.

James: I won’t, let me suffer in silence please.

Lily: He is an idiot.

Sirius: I’m going to go join Prongs in his silent suffering.

Lily: Seriously?

Sirius: I’m too disappointed to even make a joke about that.

Remus: I think I’m down for the silent suffering, too.

Lily: You are being ridiculous.

James: He is the grandson of a Marauder, you are being ridiculous.

Lily: Merlin, how did I ever become friends with them, let alone marrying one?

Sirius: You love us. Now, we shall suffer in silence.

Stop scrolling

Every time James Sirius Potter is being asked, “are you serious?”
He smirks, pushes his hair back, and says “serious is my middle name”

Continue scrolling

- Nico

OK but the marauders on HOGWARTS EXPRESS

In the first year, Remus was really sad and afraid until James and Sirius came into his carriage

And then, in the second year, Remus hoped that they will sit with him but wasn’t sure, and they came in the last minute, sweaty and breathless

In the third year, Remus saved for them a carriage and they all were sitting happily

In the fourth year he didn’t even need to save a carriage because everyone knew them and stayed away

In the fifth year Remus met them at the station they finally arrived in time

In the sixth year he came with them because he slept in James’ house on the end of the summer

And in the seventh year, he kept waiting, but no one showed up. He tried to read a book but he just sobbed, broken, his tears dropping on the book, when he heard “PRONGS, A POLE” and saw a very concentrated James Potter on a broom, trying to avoid poles, keeping up with the Hogwarts Express AND saving a screaming Peter who hangs from the broom only with his right hand.

drawing credits: Viria and unknown

  • Sirius: Pick one, between me, James, Peter, and Lily. If you had to - if you had to - who would you punch?
  • Remus: No one, they’re my friends, I wouldn’t punch any of them.
  • Sirius: Peter?
  • Remus: Yeah, but I don’t know why.

Sirius being a dad would include…

- Him being so overprotective over his little baby girl/boy
- Dad jokes overload
- You having to stop him from using a spell to mute the baby if it cries
- Sirius shifting into his animage form to make your child stop crying
- Him deciding to let your toddler play with different dyes
- “I’m at least 60% sure the colors are not permanent”
- The three of you taking walks at night when your child can’t sleep
- Sirius telling stories about all the times he got himself into some trouble at school
- You desperately trying to shut him up because he’s not being a good role model right now
- Eating together at least once a day because Sirius wants his child to grow up in a healthy family, unlike his 
- So much cuddles
- The three of you laying on the couch and telling the others how much you love them every evening before going to bed 

Originally posted by skylerlockerbie

(requested)

Werewolf Excuse No. 11
  • Lily: Where's Remus going? We have astronomy soon.
  • James: He's fine! He, well, he -
  • Sirius: He ate that nice looking chocolate pudding with ice cream earlier. I tried to stop him.
  • Lily: What?
  • Sirius: Didn't you know? Remus is lactose intolerant. He's not always strong enough to resist his cravings, though. It's not a pretty sight.
  • Lily:
  • Sirius: He accidentally managed to toot the tune of Celestina Warbeck's 'A Cauldron Full of Hot, Strong Love' once.
  • Sirius: If he has dessert, closing the windows in the dorm, even in the middle of winter, is always a mistake.
  • Sirius: We know 7 different spells to help with fresh air circulation.
  • Sirius: Peter fainted when he walked into the bathroom after him one time.
  • Lily: Stop! I've heard enough. Poor Remus. Why he tolerates you three as friends I'll never know. I'm going before you can say anything else. I'll talk to Remus when he returns.
  • James: See you later, Evans.
  • James: What was that? Why didn't you tell her about Remus' sickly relative, like you were supposed to?
  • Sirius: I could have, but she has already seen through that lie and this was funnier.
  • James: Remus will kill you when he finds out.
  • Sirius: And I'll be laughing in my grave.