so i played skyrim tonight, and i thought i’d tell an important story about my journeys:
i was mostly wandering around minding my own business when i came upon whiterun stables and guys - listen. i found the most beautiful perfect horse i’d ever seen. majestic, beautiful, immaculate. i had to have him. so i figured - hey, i took long enough getting here, it’s the middle of the night, no one’s gonna see if i take this horse, right?
this was my first mistake.
so i hop on the horse. i press the big glaring red STEAL button and get my ass on the horse. perfect. 50 bounty from whiterun - well, no plan is ever perfect. and we start walking along - and who runs up to me, but a whiterun guard. “you have committed crimes against skyrim and her people” - he’s very upset. well holy shit! i didn’t think anyone saw me, but you know what, good sir, here, i’ll pay the fine -
“we’ll take your stolen goods, and - “
no. this simply won’t do. i come out of the keep, scheming. i must acquire my horse again.
so i go back to the stables, steal the horse again. it’s the same horse, of course it is, because he’s flawless and gallant and waited for me.
but then - again - the guard, crimes against skyrim and her people - well you know what sir, a cat-man’s pride for his perfect and beautiful horse is not a crime. so i hop off my perfect horse, and get my Destruction ready. i’m going to give this guard what-for. of course, in the process, i accumulate 1000 bounty from whiterun.
well, fuck. this, probably, could be considered mistake number two. i get on the horse again. +50 bounty from whiterun, but in the face of killing that guard, honestly, who’s going to notice one stolen horse? i press the big red STEAL button again.
“alright, RED STEEL,” i tell the horse, “from now on, you and i are fugitives.”
RED STEEL, noble and awe-inspiring steed, and i walk for a very, very, very long time. we can never go back. but - you guys, i found out something else about RED STEEL that made it all worth it:
well, of course. he can fly. my incredible, unkillable, righteous RED STEEL.
look at him, as majestic and all-powerful and graceful as i always knew him to be.
so - did i commit crimes against skyrim and her people? yes. yes, i did. but in doing so, i made an unforgettable friend, and a powerful ally. so was it worth it?
You better Marry her One Day (Draco Malfoy x Reader)
Prompt/Request: ‘’Hi!! I really liked my last imagine that you wrote for me. Do you think you could write another Draco Malfoy imagine, where the reader meets his parents and she later overhears his mother telling Draco that he better marry the reader one day? Thanks!’’ -
Word Count: 1,181. Warning(s): Fluff, I guess? Note: Thank you for the amazing request, I liked it to write. :) Hope you like it too! xx
+ + + + + +
The nerves were killing you as you stood in front of
the Malfoy Manor, a very big manor, almost like a castle with its own, little
kingdom. Even though everything looked very clean and neat, it still had a very
dark look. Yes, even when you were sorted in Slytherin and a pureblood, you
still disliked dark colours. But following Draco his advice, you wore some
black jeans, a dark blue shirt and a black leather jacket. To finish of your
outfit, you wore black shoes, hoping the family wouldn’t hate it.
God, everything mattered if you thought
about it. You were so concentrated on your appearance and manners you didn’t
even realize someone opened the door already you had not even knocked on.
‘Good day darling, I’m assuming you’re
Y/N?’ a woman with dark hair and dark clothes greeted you. In her hair were
some grey locks and immediately you liked it the way she slowly accepted
growing old. Well, that’s what you thought, maybe that was not the reason
behind the grey locks after all.
You nodded and shook her hand, which
reached out to you already. ‘Yes, Y/N Y/L/N. And you’re Draco’s mother?’
you questioned, not trying to sound rude at all as she led you in.
Inside it was dark too, as you expected,
but it was very beautiful and all the stuff looked very expensive. Even when
you’d touch the walls, you felt like it would break down right down to your
feet. This was a whole other universe than your own, ordinary home. You shook
your head and let your thoughts drift away.
‘Yes, yes I am. Narcissa Malfoy,’ she
smiled before letting your hand finally go. The door behind you was now closed
and you started to follow Narcissa to another door inside. Narcissa opened the
door, which seemed to be the door to the living room. On the couch was Draco,
laying down, reading a book for school while on the chair on the other side of
him, was another man. He looked a lot like Draco. The blonde hair, the same
face expression and his whole appearance made you conclude he was his father.
‘Draco, Y/N is here,’ Narcissa
announced, making Draco look up. He shot up immediately and walked towards you
with open arms.
‘Hey babe,’ he whispered when he was
close to you, pressing a small kiss on your lips, before letting go of you and
wrapping his arm around your waist. And there you stood, like Draco was
presenting you to his parents, despite your little meeting with his mother.
He took a short breathe, looking at his
father, who had not a single emotion on his face nor in his eyes.
‘Hi, I’m Y/N,’ you shortly introduced
yourself, waving a little before a small laugh left your mouth. Narcissa was
already smiling, but Draco’s father stayed silent.
‘Father?’ Draco said kind of unsure
about his words, also nervous because his father hasn’t said a single thing but
sending you glares. Well, you thought it were glares.
‘Lucius Malfoy,’ was the only thing he
said. The corners of his mouth went a bit upward and you questioned yourself if
this was supposed to represent a smile.
But to prevent any other awkward
situations, you just said: ‘Nice to meet you, sir.’ And you showed your
most beautiful smile, feeling Draco chuckle. His grip around your waist
stiffened a bit, so you smiled even more, but not towards Lucius anymore, but
Your eyes met, feeling the spark inside
lighten up again. He nodded, gesturing it was going okay. A wave of relief
washed over you, before Narcissa and Lucius started to walk to another room.
Draco hold on tightly when he walked with you, entering the big room which
seemed to be the dining room.
‘Dinner’s almost ready,’ Draco’s mother
said as she smiled, walking to the kitchen to check the food one last time.
‘Good,’ you answered, turning towards
Draco and his father, ‘mind if I use the bathroom real quick and wash my
hands?’ You showed a grin and frowned a bit. Draco nodded, ignoring his father
as he told you were to find it. A quick thank you rolled over your lips and
before you knew it, you were already inside.
‘Come on Y/N, you can do this,’ you
whispered to you reflection, trying to encourage yourself, ‘it’s all going
well right now. Kill it out there.’
You took a deep breathe, fixing your
hair and make-up again, washing your hands before exiting the bathroom. That’s
when you realized you got lost in the house. It was a bloody maze in your eyes.
Voices were heard, so you assumed it
were Draco and his parents and as you were approaching the voices behind the
door, you saw it was a direct door to the kitchen and not via the dining room.
The voices belonged to Narcissa and
‘What a beautiful girl Draco, reminds me
of the younger me,’ you heard Narcissa say, making you smile and your heartbeat
‘She’s the prettiest and sweetest woman
alive,’ Draco told his mother, love lacing in his words.
Narcissa laughed and laid her hands on
the shoulders of her son. ‘Your father will love her too, darling. She
makes you so happy, I’ve never seen you so happy.’
Draco just nodded, hearing things he
already knew. You were indeed one of his only lights that brought him happiness
and made him turn into a good person. Well, let’s just say you made him have a
good side too.
‘You better marry her one day,’ Narcissa
smiled while stroking the arms of her only son. Draco laughed and grabbed his
‘Don’t worry mother, I will,’ he assured
her, making her nod.
On the other side of the door, you were
almost fainting. A hand clasped in front of your mouth, you silently left the
door, finding the other way around immediately as the smile on your face
wouldn’t fade away.
When you were in the dining room again,
everyone was finally there, Draco sitting on a chair next to an empty chair.
The whole table was filled with so much food, you almost lost count of the
Once you sat down, Lucius lit the
candles with his wand and filled all the four glasses with some wine.
‘A toast for Draco and Y/N,’ Narcissa
said, raising her glass as you followed her actions. Draco did the same and
then everyone looked at Lucius, who still hadn’t raise his glass.
But after a few seconds, his mouth went
open, his eyes showing some sympathy as he looked at his loving son.
‘To the beautiful, kind Y/N and my only,
dear son Draco,’ he said, finally showing some of his opinion on your
You smiled, mumbling a ‘cheers’ but
you were at cloud nine at the moment, so happy with this meeting.
Soon enough, Draco’s hand found yours,
him squeezing your hand a little as you were smiling like a dork, happier than
+Request: harry smut with harry as ur boss who’s been flirting with you and you’ve been teasing him a lot but u two haven’t had sex bc u know people would talk if they found out, but then he makes a really risky move that makes u change ur mind
A/N: Hey guys back with another imagine. I hope you guys like it because I worked super hard on this. I would love so much if you guys would leave feed back and tell me what you guys think of it. love you all and thank you!
This one shot I based a bit off of and even named it from the original song called Million dollar man by Lana Del Rey. Go check out the song its so good, one of my favorites by her.
Working with Harry wasn’t as bad as it all really seems. Yes he may be strict and yes he may yell a lot but I just know that when you have to work with people that sometimes are idiots and don’t wanna do their work it is hard not to come off as a prick. Harry was a very smart man, he knew what he was doing and how to really become successful. I’ve only been working with Harry for about 3 months, it isn’t that long for you to base your perspective off of someone you barely know. But all of that aside, I has a crush on my boss.
He is so tall and strong and beautiful long curly hair. I just wanna run my hands through his hair and hear him moan to how good it feels. But there are a lot of other things I wanna do to him to hear him moan. I just wanna crawl under his desk and pull down his pants and suck his cock. I wanna hear him moan out my name so loud and to place his hand on the back of my head and push me down farther. I wanna look up and stare at his face while this is going down and see him roll his eyes back in his head and plead for more. I want him to finish in my mouth and to feel his cum run down my throat. But hes my boss so it would never happen.
Things I love abt the Lego Batman Movie (Part 2 bc this movie is amazing)
- Harley’s roller skates!
- Galifinakis’s amazing performance as the Joker
- “You…complete me” “HAHAHAHAHAHA”
- Bruce’s comments during Barbara’s speech (“Woo, let’s hear it for BATMAN” “He has aged phenomenally”)
- The fact that Bruce has been Gotham’s most eligible bachelor ‘for like, 90 years in a row
- The Joker’s coat tails!
- The references to Harley Quinn’s former title of Harleen Quintzel
- Barbara KICKING ASS at the gala
- The Joker’s purple and green color combo
- The Joker and his gang doing yoga in the prison courtyard
- “She has no idea what’s going on in my super mind.” “Super mind?” “//GASP// Smoke bomb!”
- Batman hasn’t noticed an entire child running around his mansion
- Dick keeps the shark repellent as a souvenir
- “You have beautiful abs, sir.” “It’s my curse to bear.”
- “I like that one!” “That one is culturally insensitive.”
- “Now I’m free, now I’m moving! Come on Batman, let’s get grooving!”
- AGAIN, DICK IS 100% OKAY WITH HAVING TWO DADS!!
- “Now I have two dads, and one of them is Batman!”
- Robin is 100% ready to do anything for Batman
- The references to Batman VS Superman in Batman and Superman’s dialogue
- Batman pretending like he’s not sad after finding out about the party being held without him
- “I’ve already got my catchphrase. Tweet tweet I’m on the street!”
- Batman feeling pride for the first time
- “So, what’s the vigilante policy on cookies?” “UNLIMITED”
- The song that plays whenever Batman sees Barbara
- The amount of weapons Batman is able to hide in his bat suit
- “Namaste, Batman”
- Joker just wants Batman to admit that he loves him-I mean, hates him.
- MICHAEL CERA’S PERFORMANCE AS ROBIN/DICK!!!!
- The Joker’s questionable title as a bad guy by the other villains in the phantom zone
- The Joker in denial that he has vulnerabilities
- “I’m so bad I got myself thrown into this…'heck hole’…on purpose!”
- Ralph Fiennes is in the movie but he doesn’t voice Voldemort
- “You want us to make the rivers of Gotham City run red with his blood?” “WHOA-”
- The giant projection of the Joker’s face in the sky after he escapes the phantom zone
- The Joker’s game show introductions for all the phantom zone villains
- Daleks are called ‘British Robots’
- “Are you trying to tell me that Bruce Wayne is Batman….s roommate?” (Also the fact that Sauron doesn’t bother to correct him on it)
- “Haha, I’m rubbing my butt all over your stuff.”
- Batman-Robin beatbox duo!
- “Alfred, what are you doing.” “I missed the 60’s.”
- Alfred runs with his hands folded behind his back
- The Joker making fun of Batman’s secret stash of RomCom movies. (“OH, SERENDIPITY?” “Serendipity?! I love that movie!)
- The 'pewpewpew’ sounds everyone makes while firing a weapon.
- “Alright guys, until I get back, rope’s in charge.”
- “Alfred, you better un-time out me right now.” “No! Not until you un-time out Master Dick!”
- Batman diving from the ship to save Robin!!
- Myself legitimately thinking that Alfred was gonna die
- Sauron’s very anticlimactic death
- The Batman-Barbara romantic subplot never really exists in favor of elaborating on Batman and Joker’s character development
- Batman shooing away the Scuttler like a dog
- The villains acting like supportive friends to Joker during his breakup
- “You have never once said the words…I hate you, Joker.”
- “Listen, Batman. I…hate you.” “Awwww!” “Now you say it.” “…Me too.” “//FRUSTRATED SHOUTS//”
- “I am NOT gonna be part of a one-sided relationship ANYMORE!”
- Batman revealing his identity as Bruce Wayne to Robin before getting sucked into the phantom zone
- And of COURSE Batman finally telling Joker that he loves him…I mean, hates him. Because of course they’re totally not gay. Not at all.
[stuart semple, covered in vivid pink, yellow, and green powder staggers up a seemingly infinite number of steps toward the top of a marble pyramid upon which rests his coveted prize]
[he reaches the top, gasping for air. in the middle of the pedestal at the top of the pyramid there is a gaping black hole, endlessly deep.]
stuart semple, quietly:
what is this
[sir anish kapoor, from the bottom of the pyramid lifts his head and gazes upward at semple's back. his face is also covered in pink, green, and yellow. it is unclear how he heard semple's voice from so far away]
it is what you seek
sir anish kapoor:
semple, turning his head just enough to look at anish over one shoulder:
your reign of tyranny is over, kapoor. youve underestimated me for the last time. i will take the vantablack you so selfishly stole from us and return it to its place in the hands of the people.
sir anish kapoor:
youre a fool, semple. stop this madness now before it's too late. you know not the dangerous powers with which you toy
semple, turning back to face the void:
you cannot deceive me, your ploys won't work
[semple extends his hands, long pale fingers hovering inches from the inky darkness, hesitating]
sir anish kapoor:
[semple's hand shoots forward and collides with the vantablack. instantly the void envelops his arm, then his whole body. semple's screams of agony are swallowed in the crushing silence of vantablack and soon the pyramid and sir anish kapoor are also devoured.]
...where are we?
sir anish kapoor:
we are unstuck from time and space, trapped in a nanotechnological purgatory
[stuart semple's lips have been replaced with photorealistic magazine cutouts of other people's mouths, stop-motion flickering through each syllable, none truly belonging to him]
how,, how could this have happened?
anish, whose entire being has been replaced by a series of clockwork cogs and a single, unblinking eye:
you toyed with dangers beyond your imaging stuart. reality itself has been pulled into the vantablack. soon, the whole world will know the void as we do
semple, sobbing into his hands which have become splotches of warmth on a heat-vision screen, his body dissolving into salt and sand:
i-i didnt know...... how do i stop it?
sir anish kapoor, his gears turning and clicking ever faster:
the same way you stop a galaxy from expanding, a star from collapsing. the same way you stop human avarice and pride, from one man coveting what belongs to another.
please,,, please tell me
[sir anish kapoor's cogs begin to break apart, dividing like so many cells into the vast abyssal plane]
[semple, wrought with grief and desperation reaches out to grasp at the eye, which has begun to shrink and disintegrate at the edges. the eye pulses with one last surge of warmth. is it sympathy? is it love? the eye disappears and reality along with it.]
Warnings: BDSM, Collaring, Dom!Dean, Sub!Reader, slight breath play, oral sex (male receiving), fluff, smut, rough sex
Square filled: Collars for @spnkinkbingo
A/N: Alright, I haven’t felt like writing much recently, it is a combination of personal things and also feeling like I am not sure if it is really something anyone actually cares about when I write. This idea came to me last week though and I swore to myself that I was going to finish it.
If you like this feedback would be so appreciated!!! Sometimes I need a little acknowledgment to keep doing this for Y'all
You scraped your fork against your plate, moving around some fries from one side to the other, waiting for him to finally speak. You weren’t sure why you felt so nervous, normally you had no problem eating a meal when Dean cooked for you, but tonight for some reason you didn’t feel the least bit hungry. Instead, you kept glancing up at the green eyes that were absorbed in looking at their own plate seemingly oblivious to your distress. Or at least that’s what you though.
“Is everything alright baby girl?” His voice said, and even though his tone was casual you had known Dean long enough you could hear the slight worry that wavered on your nickname.
You looked up at him, and the way his brows were creased together as he took in your appearance was a dead giveaway for just how concerned he was, you decided to be honest with him. Honesty was the most important aspect in the type of relationship you and Dean had.