My mom is silly, and I enjoy it so much!  Apparently, I also enjoy eating Plankton.

So, Moma was talking with her doctor about some of the natural remedies I’ve been trying to convince her to try. She had a sinus infection, and I told her about how much plantain helped me when I had a cold. When I asked her if she tried it, she said her doctor told her not to! I was like, WELL YOU NEED TO GET A NEW DOCTOR!!! Come to find out…..

She told her doctor that I ate PLANKTON…. not PLANTAIN !
moma-  "yeah, she eats it all the time!!“
doctor- "where does she get it?!” (considering we live no where near the sea)
moma- “oh, everywhere, she just finds it wherever she goes.”
doctor- *confused* “I don’t know about that…i don’t know what studies have been done on it, or what its even supposed to help you with … I wouldn’t really suggest it.”

Moma said the doctor then muttered something about seals and whales. Still, my mother, who often gets words all twisted up in the most hilarious of ways, did not realize she had told her doctor that I had been  EATING TINY SEA CREATURES for health! So, her doctor just thinks that… that I find PLANKTON wherever I go, and EAT IT to stay healthy! She usually agrees with my methods and suggests for my mom to try them as well, but she was not about to let my mom eat plankton. I just find it so funny… she probably thinks I’m absolutely crazy now.  I have laughed so much I probably am crazy. LOL

There are times where I would really give my right hand for my child to be neurotypical. Mornings when I wake up with a sinus headache and he’s doing compulsive, repetitive noise-making are one of those times.

Why is it always straight men catching women when they pass out? Is there a form I can sign to request only strong lesbians catch me when I faint? Do they make a medical alert bracelet for that? I’m feeling woozy

I don’t need Kanye West, I’m more famous, I’m more famous.                         Camila I’d still do you                                                                                             I’m sorry Sinu, I know you come to everything she’s at,                                         I like that                                                                                                                 It’s moral support from a mom, from a mom!

- Excerpt from “Grammy acceptance speech” as sang by Rose Ellen Dix-

Recipes: Sinus Reliever and Sore Throat Tea!

Sinus Reliever

  • 1 cup warm water
  • 1 tablespoon raw local honey
  • 1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar
  • 1 crushed garlic clove
  • 2 tablespoons lemon juice
  • ½ teaspoon cayenne pepper
  • ½ teaspoon turmeric


Sore Throat Tea

  • 2 tablespoons local honey
  • 2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
  • Dash of cinnamon
  • 2 tablespoons lemon juice
  • add to your favorite tea, I like to add it to “Traditional Medicinal” sore throat tea, or echinacea tea. 

What people think James Potter was like:

James: Revising for exams? Pfft, I am the James Potter, I don’t revise. I go in and wing that bitch.

What James Potter was actually like:

James: No Moony, I don’t care that chocolate soothes stress, fuck off. If I don’t pass this shit I’m going to die homeless and lonely. Don’t let me die lonely.

She saves up her ballad mojo for the killer finale “New Year’s Day,” which continues her streak of ending each album with a sinus-exploding mess of a tearjerker. It’s the quietest moment on Reputation, yet the most powerful โ€“ she wakes up after a glam New Year’s bash (“Glitter on the floor after the party/Girls carrying their shoes down in the lobby”) and reflects on what she has left to call her own, which is the not-so-glam partner she’ll be spending this not-so-glam day with. It’s a tiny moment between two people, a moment the rest of the world will never notice. And all over Reputation, Swift makes those moments sound colossal, the way only she can.
—  Rolling Stone on New Yearโ€™s Day, reputation (2017)