Wow, same old man as yesterday and, really, as always when I walk down to Safeway. Ah, the stupid Tumblr Multi-Systems. They’re pervasive, they’re crazy, they like pretending they have people living in their heads.
Spoiler alert! You don’t. Your identity is invalid. You’re not a vampire. You’re not a were-whatever (were-retard, however, is slightly more plausible). You’re not a lesbian one armed iguana anthro. You’re a stupid, sad human being screaming at a computer.
I am thinking about going out to hang out with some of my fellow Patriarchs today, maybe discuss new ways to show our privilege and oppress minorities. We might stop by an Abercrombie and Fitch. They’re the leading store in the “show my privilege” business.
So, anyway, I will admit I find myself wondering how so many people could be so consciously lame so frequently (and yes, I did mean for that to sound as ableist as it did). I mean, a lot of them, like Redd, are not the group they’re defending. Redd and I are not so different. For one, she’s white. Second, we both are in the business of denying the positions and thoughts of others. Except while I revel in my ill gotten gains, Redd disguises herself as some sort of purveyor of justice.
A disgustingly common thing is “white guilt”. You’re not your ancestors and hinging on things people did fifty or a hundred years ago is just fucking stupid (meant to be ableist). Why bother worrying about shit your great grandparents did, when you could party and have fun?
Eat some nicely cooked red meat, sing some ‘Murrican songs, indulge in good ol’ fashioned capitalism by going on a shopping spree to line the pockets of rich white billionaires.
The fact is, blogging about something changes nada. Zilch. Zippo. You’re still as under my jackbooted heel as when you woke up. You’re not changing anyone’s mind. You’re just making yourselves look ridiculous and stupid. What have the lot of you ever done for your minority of the week?
Well, not like those otherkin freaks could speak up if they wanted to. The Multiple Systems are trying, but we powerful white men are locking them in mental hospitals and calling them insane and possessed of DID in an expression of our ability to be ableist. In the old days, we called them “possessed by demons”, but that idea has fallen out of favor with the rest of my fellow Patriarchs in the Kyriarchy.
Conclusion, otherkin? Silence your voices, lower your heads in consent, and bow at the knee.
Fat Acceptance does have a capitalistic tone to it in the real world, but in social spheres, people who let themselves get as fat as the transfat folks do will never get accepted. Shun the fat, shun! At least try a diet.
As for the transabled folks, I am sorry to say that you’re just out of your goddamned minds. No wait, I am not sorry to say that. Because I am never sorry.
Transethnics are either weeaboos trying to live their little dream lives, or again, people outta their minds. Don’t try to liken yourselves to transsexuals just to hitch a ride on their successes as of late, you fucking leeches.
It won’t work. Because race is not a societal construct. Its as simple as your skin color and background, plainly written within history. You can’t change it, loonies.
Just accept the fact that as long as the lot of you keep blogging and withdrawing into your internet huggie huggie box, being herp a derp twenty four seven, you’re never gonna experience real victory. Just imagined triumph at the seat of your chair.
As for my real life goings on, I have to admit, running is fun. It lets me oppress fat people by displaying I can go at speeds faster than a waddle, and it lets me tone my core. Working out at the gym is similar. I am surrounded by good looking and fit privilege, with nary a fatopotamus in sight.
Even though its not perfect yet, I love my body. I exercised it so well at the gym today, furthering my Thin Privilege.
Have a miserable day, Tumblr SJWs, my privilege will remain forever unchecked. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!