not a day goes by that i don’t think about the fact that richard campbell “dick” gansey the third has a dimple on his cheek, quite possibly both cheeks, and that we were without that knowledge until trk, specifically the toga party scene. do u know what this means ? this means that every single time dickie dick 3 has smiled, hes had a dimple. Every Single Time. do u know how many times this boy smiles every scene? at least 10 times a scene. Mr. Smilepants has dimples and we didn’t know it until trk. we were deprived of this information for 3 and a half books. that’s a long time to be deprived of such vital, earth shattering information
Context: Leyla, a Muslim British-Indian woman, is coming out to her mother, telling her “I’m gay.” Her mother reacts with horror and disgust, telling her “You’re up to your neck in sin” and going so far as to ask “Who did this to you?”
But it’s this scene that sums up the reality of LGBTQ+ desi youth. Our parents may very well love us and want the best for us, but the absolute bottom line is: our parents do not want us to be happy. They want us to be appropriate, to be respectful, to have children and well-earning careers, to fit into the mold of heteronormativity and gender roles, to be religious and pious. But no, they do not want us to be happy. Happiness doesn’t fit into it.
To them, happiness is indistinguishable as a separate characteristic because according to them, doing all of these things should already be making us happy.
The ideal created for desi children is that they shouldn’t strive to do what makes them happy, but what makes them “good.” Unfortunately, under this context, good is defined as anything that isn’t seen as immoral or out of the norm.
A woman who is not straight is rejecting her role as a wife, and to a lesser extent, her role as a mother. She is rejecting the notion of subservience to men, of obedience and inferiority. Under our current system that is hugely patriarchal, a woman who does not submit is a threat.
Now, I’m not saying desi parents are bad parents or hate their children because it’s pretty clear this happens in nearly every other culture in the world. But I am saying that desi parents do not make their children’s happiness a priority, they make their children’s success a priority: successful careers and marriages and children = successful lives. So if you ask a desi parent “do you want your kid to be happy?” they’ll immediately say “yes, of course.” But if you add on “do you want your kid to be gay if that makes them happy?” the answer will be a lot less positive.
This movie tackled Leyla’s sexuality and coming out to her parents absolutely head-on with no coyness about it. She goes straight up to her mother and admits that she’s a lesbian. But her mother’s reaction is really the thing that most “coming out” stories try to gloss over, or sugarcoat, or just in general avoid. Her mother admits with frank and brutal honesty the truth that all LGBTQ+ desi kids know: our parents would rather see us miserable and straight than queer and happy.
hiiii, here are a bunch of fics I’ve enjoyed and loved reading throughout the month of january. I recommend that you read these great fics in february, if you haven’t already. I’m so sorry for how many single parent kidfics are on this list. i had quite an obsession this past month. they’re all amazing though, please check them out!!
(all fics with a star are my favorites and if there are two stars then it was a favorite favorite)
They walk slow, unhurried, and they talk about everything, the earth and the glaciers and themselves, little bits and pieces. Harry finds himself falling open, caving in like the crevices that run like cold veins from the icy lakes. It feels strange to talk this way. He feels like he should be having this conversation hidden under his covers, whispering in the dark. It feels like the kind of talk that means too much, that means trust and revealing the small things that make up the bigger ones, except they’re both barely blinking an eye.
Harry is a WWF journalist with big dreams and Louis is a glaciologist that flies helicopters for fun. Greenland is an odd place to spend Christmas, but just maybe, the perfect place to fall headfirst into love.
“You know, when I pegged you for a druglord, I wasn’t exactly challenging you to make me believe that you actually are one. What is this place?” Louis says after he swallows over the mild panic that’s building up in his throat over the fact that he’s literally sitting in front of the cause of his teenage sexuality crisis.
or, the famous/nonfamous kid!fic AU wherein harry and louis have to host a school Christmas party and harry isn’t actually a drug lord.