You’ll have a lot of hard days, but none quite like his birthday.

The clock will strike midnight and you’ll still be awake. You’ll wonder who called him to sing happy birthday in your place this year.

All day, your fingers will itch to text him. You’ll type a paragraph of how you hope his day is wonderful and that he has the best year of his life because he deserves it—and then you’ll delete it all. You’ll just send ‘Happy birthday!’ instead.

Later that night, you’ll wonder if his mom got him an ice cream cake again this year, or if his dad took him out for Chinese. You always loved their traditions. You’ll realize that you’ll never be included in them again, and it will hurt more than you expected.

The clock will strike midnight again. The day is over. He’s another year older, and that’s all. But you’ll fall asleep thinking about how this is an age your love will never get to touch. 19 was the year he loved you. 20 will be the year he didn’t.

—  excerpt from an unfinished book #106 // Happy birthday

lena-lady  asked:

What if Fushimi is a famous singer and he's required to sing in a typical us pop music video, you know the bold, vibrant and sexy kind (e.g cool for the summer, hands to myself, problem, shake it off etc) cue on everyone being surprised bcs fushimi can actually pull it off, i mean it's fushimi we're talking about, just look at how he sings in koishite koishite natsuchatta xD

Nobody knows that Fushimi actually has a secret pop idol mode he can activate on command XD Maybe this is like a version of Idol AU where Fushimi is known for being more of a brooding and sexy sort of singer, like while he’s technically an idol singer he doesn’t sing the sort of songs normally associated with that. It’s part of what makes him so popular, most idols are expected to smile and be friendly and sing peppy bouncy songs and do fancy moves on stage, Fushimi just looks dour the whole time while singing songs about heartbreak and betrayal and occasionally sex, usually sung in something like a purr that pretty much makes all his fans melt. Then one day head of Scepter 4 Records Munakata thinks it would be fun if they participated in a little challenge with rival label Homra where one label will pick songs for the other and assign singers to them, and then see who sells the most records while being out of their comfort zone.

Fushimi of course doesn’t even want to participate in something so stupid but Munakata pretty much sparkles him into submission, noting that this will generate press for both labels plus it could increase the popularity of their idols by showing how versatile they are. So the two labels start brainstorming who to give what songs too, Munakata probably lets Fushimi help advise him since as a former singer under Homra’s label Fushimi knows the habits of a lot of their people and is good at picking what type of songs he thinks each one would struggle with (he picks the sexy song for Yata, assuming the stupid virgin will be too embarrassed to sing it. Yata is super embarrassed but the whole thing still backfires when Fushimi sits in on Yata singing it live and Yata does the whole thing while staring straight at Fushimi and Fushimi probably has to duck into the bathroom after it’s over to have some private time while cursing to himself because how dare idiot Misaki be this hot). On the Homra side, Kusanagi looks to Yata to help him pick out Fushimi’s song. Yata knows Fushimi’s pretty versatile but he figures a chipper pop song will be too much for him.

So Fushimi is handed his song and at first he probably sings it the way he sings the first part of Koishite etc, with that ‘so done’ voice. Yata gets to watch a rehearsal and has a good snicker about it, like he finally found Saruhiko’s weakness. Then the day comes for the single debut and it’s a live concert, everyone’s nervous about Fushimi’s song except Munakata who is suspiciously chill. The music starts and Fushimi walks on stage, everyone waits for him to deadpan his way through. Fushimi gives this heavy sigh, steels himself, and then pushes his bangs back sexily as he basically transforms into Flamboyant Heartthrob Character from an Idol anime. Everyone is just staring at him open-mouthed in shock, even Yata’s like what the hell I didn’t know Saruhiko had it in him. Fushimi’s just up on stage shaking his hips and being all energetic, he even smiles and blows a kiss to the audience. A few people faint. When it’s done Fushimi bows to thunderous applause, steps offstage and goes to hide in a dark corner until his mouth stops hurting from all the terrible smiling.

good morning babes  !  it’s ya girl’s b-day tomorrow and i’m leaving to pick up @systemctic‘s beautiful ass now. miss me uwu.


One more step back to the Ben we miss, he’s truly happy first time in a long time and Adam is with him, fingers crossed no 🐙. If she’s not there she must be having the biggest fit, so we better be prepared for the incoming stunts. Still he looks so happy, his singing good or bad he’s genuinely happy that’s what counts.


I actually find the fact that he was very clearly accompanied by Adam at the concert particularly interesting @captainjcat.  More interesting than even the choice of song  ;o)


Dave looks so cute, and happy, and singing with Martin, and Alan smiling at him. And I could just cry.

Just The Way You Are

read it on the AO3 at

by ArcticLights

Kyoutani had picked up the habit of singing at practice, but stopped after his singing didn’t go as planned one time.

Words: 4310, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

read it on the AO3 at


Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.