sing us a song piano man

Sing us a song you’re the piano man
I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed
She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb
And you’ve got us feelin’ alright

Bruce: *walks into Batcave and sees Jason with a guitar* 

Jason: Hey B I wrote you a song! *sings to the tune of Piano Man by Billy Joel*

It’s 12 o'clock in Gotham City 
The Joker is busy killing everyone
There’s an old man sitting next to me
Makin’ love to his Catwoman cuz he’s nasty 

He says, “Son, you gotta stop shooting bad guys”
And I’m like “Bruce, don’t tell me what to do”
Cuz I died and he cried but I came back and stuff
When I wore green Robin panties

(Batkids join in)
La la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Sing us a song, you’re the Batman
Beat up some thugs tonight
Cuz you’re boring and brooding and it’s getting annoying
And you’re the one and only Dark Knight

Now Roy from the Outlaws is my BFF
I hang out with him and Kori
And he’s quick with a joke or to shoot an arrow in your foot
And together we like pissing off Batman
He says, “Jaybird you’re the most awesome guy ever”
As we kicked an alien’s ass
And I’m like “I know I’m the coolest
“Learned it all from the All Caste”

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Now Dick was Batman while you were dead
He never had time for Barbara cuz he sucks at relationships
And Tim’s dead inside cuz everyone he likes died
And he probably hasn’t slept in five years

Oh Damian is a murderous freaking demon spawn
Who is probably gonna kill someone the second he’s left alone 
Also Steph keeps stealing all the food from my fridge
But I don’t mind cuz I stole it from the manor anyway

Sing us a song you’re the Batman
You have a cool British butler 
Also you don’t know when to stop adopting orphans
And you probably need an intervention by now

By the way Cass stole my jacket yesterday
And you didn’t even care when I told you
So I went to all of your Rogues and gave them your number
So suck it old man, you totally deserved it  
And you’ve had seven sidekicks so far
And at least six of them have died at some point
Now I’m starting to think maybe that’s a bad sign
But oh well it’s too late to deal with that now 

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Sing us a song you’re the Batman
And you’ve got a pet cow for some reason even though I’ve asked you several times for a dog and you kept telling me we couldn’t have animals in the Batcave but I guess that’s just a big fat lie so fuck you Bruce  
Well we’re all in the mood for some crimefighting
And by the way you’re really old 

Jason: *guitar solo and ends song* What’d ya think old man? 

Bruce: … 

Bruce: *tired sigh* Where is the sweet embrace of death when you need it 

Choi Youngjae’s Playlist

Playlists: 

  1. Avery Wilson - If I have to
  2. 엠투엠 - 세글자
  3. Navi (나비) - 잘지내니 (Are you doing okay?)
  4. Bruno Mars - When I was your man
  5.  R.Kelly - I believe I Can Fly
  6. Mr.Probz - Waves 
  7. Javier Colon - A drop in the ocean
  8. One Direction - They don’t know about us
  9.  Adam Levine - Lost Stars
  10.  Lorde - Glory and Gore
  11.  Jung Jun Il - Confession
  12.  Lim Chang Jung - Ordinary Song  (Youngjae played this on piano during Real GOT7 Season 2 Ep.1)  
  13. Kim Dong Ryul - Old Song (Youngjae Version)
  14.  Rachael Yamagata - Duet ( Youngjae recommended this song during his birthday last year)
  15. Bernard Park - Honestly ( (Youngjae sings it during the recent fansign event at Incheon - Youngjae Version )
  16. Banhana - Listen
  17. G.Soul - You
  18. Frankie Vallie & The 4 Seasons - Can’t take my eyes off you  (Youngjae sings this at 1theK show)
  19. Maroon 5 - Sunday Morning (This one of Youngjae’s favorite songs. He first sings this song during GOT7 1st Showcase) 
  20. 2AM - Confession of a friend (Youngjae version
  21. 2AM - This Song (Youngjae sings this song during JYP Nation One Mic Starcast) 
  22. YB - Love, Two (Youngjae sings this song during Feels So Good Ep.2, Youngjae Version
  23. Park Jin Young - Honey 
  24. Navi (나비) -  Summer Night(여름밤에) - (Youngjae posted the song on IG)
  25. Cotton Factory -  그대가 온다 Vocal 장규철  (Youngjae posted this song on his IG 3days ago) 
  26. NAUL(나얼) - Memory Of The Wind(바람기억) (Youngjae sings this song today at Boramae fansign - Youngjae version )
  27. Kim Yee Won -  이미 넌 고마운 사람 (Youngjae sings this at MBC Starry Night - Youngjae version
  28. One More Chance - I Think About You (Youngjae sings this song at Bundang fansign - Youngjae version )  
  29. Lim Changjung - A glass of Soju (Youngjae duet with Jr. at  cheongryangri fansign - Youngjae version )  
  30. Im Sejun - Don’t Go Today (Youngjae Version - he sings during Ilsan fansign)  
  31. Lee Ki Chan - Beautiful Woman (Youngjae Version - he sings during Ilsan fansign ) 
  32. Sweet Sorrow - Hiding my heart (Youngjae posted this song on IG)  
  33. DJ Khaled - Gold Slugs  (Youngjae posted this song on IG)
  34. Tori Kelly - Nobody Love  (Youngjae posted this song on IG)
  35. Erykah Badu - Cel U Lar Device  (Youngjae posted this song on IG)
  36. George Nozuka - You deserve better  (Youngjae posted this song on IG)
  37. Elliot Yamin - You Say  (Youngjae posted this song on IG)  
  38. 너도 (Feat. Cha Cha Malone) -  로꼬 (LOCO) (Youngjae posted on his IG) 
  39. Kim Bum Soo - Only You (오직 너만) Hyde and Jekyll OST (Youngjae posted IG) 
  40. Justin Bieber - Love Yourself  (posted on IG) 
  41. Soran Natural -  Don’t Lose Weight [살빼지 마요] (posted on IG)
  42. AURORA - Warrior  (posted on IG) 
  43. Kim Yeon Woo - Antidote (posted on IG) 
  44. Eric Benet (에릭베넷) - 정말 사랑했을까 (posted on IG) 
  45. LOCO 로꼬 - 니가 모르게 (You Don’t Know) (posted on IG) 
  46. 679 feat Monty - Fetty Wap (posted on IG) 
  47. Jo Kwon(조권) - Crosswalk(횡단보도) (posted on IG) 
  48. RYEOWOOK -  려욱_어린왕자 (The Little Prince) (posted on IG) 
  49. El Debarge -  How Can You Love Me (posted on IG) 
  50. Skizzy Mars - Time (feat. G-Eazy & Olivver the Kid)  (posted on IG)
  51. Giriboy (기리보이) - 성인 (Adult)  (posted on IG) 
  52. SHINee (샤이니) - Please, Don’t Go 잠꼬대   (posted on IG) 
  53. Sia - Bird Set Free  (posted on IG) 
  54. Toy Lanez - Say it (final) (posted on IG)  
  55. Chris Brown - Lost In Ya Love (posted on IG) 
  56. Acoustic Collabo -  제발 (posted on IG) 
  57. Snakeships - All My Friends (posted on IG) 
  58. Before You Exit - When I’m Gone (posted on IG) 
  59. August Alsina - Kissin’ On My Tattoos (posted on IG) 
  60. Jason Mraz - I won’t give up (posted on IG)
  61. Han Dong Geun -  Making a new ending for this story (posted on IG)
  62. Fifth Harmony - Like Mariah  (MelOn Radio) 
  63. Jun. K (2PM) - Think about you (posted on IG)
  64. Jimin Park (15&) - Try (posted on IG)
  65. Bruno Mars - That’s what I like (posted on IG) 
  66. Jesse Barrera - Chances (posted on IG) 
  67. SoMo - You Can Buy Everything (posted on IG) 
  68. Elliot Yamin - Wait for You (posted on IG)  Youngjae version
  69. Noday feat Sanchez - Wait Up (posted on IG) 
  70. Baek ah Yeon - So So (posted on IG)
  71. Bruno Mars - 24K Magic (posted on IG)
  72. Noday feat Andrew Choi - Be Cool (posted on IG)
  73. Sanjoyd ft Elliot Yamin - Obvi (posted on IG) 
  74. Park Won - Try (posted on IG) Youngjae version  / 2ae Version
  75. Eric Benet - The Cracks of my Broken Heart (2jae LieV) - 2jae version
  76. Kim Bum Soo & Park Hyo Shin - What Are The Friends For (2jae LieV)
  77.  Richard Marx - Now & Forever  (posted on IG) 
  78. Sophiya - Overlap (Acoustic Ver.) (posted on IG)  
  79. Jeong Jinwoon (정진운) & Jeong Hanbin (정한빈) – Set Me Free (posted on IG) 
  80. Sister’s Barbershop - The Most Ordinary Existence  (posted on IG) 
  81. izi - Emergency room (posted on IG) - Youngjae version 
  82. GOT7 - Never Ever (posted on IG) 
Little Ghost song details I love

• Female background vocals in Jigolo Har Megiddo, Bible, Depth of Satans Eyes, and Missionary Man
• The latin phrase Papa says during Prime Mover
• The way Papa’s voice changes when he says “…..makes her one of us.” in Elizabeth
• How you can tell Papa is a bit too close to the mic in the beginning of Crucified
• Papa rolling his R’s big time in Crucified
• The demonic voice in Death Knell
• Anytime you can hear other voice parts Papa sings
• The Laugh™ in Zenith
• Air’s piano in I Believe and Bible
• Anytime Papa hits the higher notes
• Everything in Genesis
• The choir at the end of Deus in Absentia
• Everything in Infestissumam
• “You’re set free.” from Zenith
• The part in Majesty where Papa sounds like a legit choir
• The long note Papa holds in Cirice

Distraction (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

 Request:  HI HUMAN ! Can i have a bucky request where the reader is buckys girlfriend and he’s been on a mission for the past couple weeks and it’s finally the day he’s coming home and so she’s pestering all the Avengers repeating herself and bouncing up and down going, “how about now? how about now? how about now?” and she’s easily distracted so they keep getting annoyed and just handing her random objects like lucky charms or something silly? and it’s just general fluff and humor? Thank you so much!!

Words: 2,794

Warnings: None


To say you were annoying was an understatement.

It’s not like you were a bother, or a pain to the other Avengers, you were annoying in a cute way. At least that’s what they decided once the pestering and nagging and bouncing had stopped. You were one of the younger Avengers and your personality showed it. You were bubbly, energetic, kind, fast, and most certainly saw the good in just about everyone.

Perhaps that’s why you ended up with Bucky Barnes, you didn’t care about what he did in his tragically sad past and you certainly brought a sense of positivity to his life. He had changed a lot over his time spent at the Avengers tower with the rest of the team; in a good way of course. You fell for his smile, it was near the beginning of his time at the tower when you saw him smiling with Steve and you caught a glimpse of the breathtaking smile.

From then on you were a nervous mess around him, you fell unusually quiet whenever he was in the same room and often because a stumbling mess of words that never made sense. You choked on your smoothie one morning when he scared you in the kitchen. It had only been you, him and Bruce home that morning as everyone else was on missions, running errands or out of town.

You were casually sipping your smoothie in the dark kitchen when he came in and turned on the light, you jumped and a large mouthful of smoothie got caught in your throat. This led to you dropping your drink, hitting your hip on the counter, and you were coughing while holding your hip while a chunk of your drink slid down your chest and stained your white shirt. It was embarrassing but once it was over you two started laughing together for what seemed like forever in the early hours of the morning.

Two weeks later you went on your first date together and you had been together ever since.

However during those years together, every time Bucky went on a mission longer than a weekend, you drove everyone crazy. You would pester and talk and prank and become so overly dramatic. Everyone knew you did it as a distraction, a way for time to go by quicker until you saw him again. You liked it better when he was not on some dangerous mission, you worried more than usual while he was away. What if HYDRA found him? What if he got hurt? What if he got kidnapped? What if he died?

The aching feeling in your chest while he was away felt like you were suffocating. So many things could happen, one thing could go wrong and he would be gone. The stress caused painful headaches and anxiety.

But today was not a stressful day, it was not a sad day or a painful day, it was a happy day. Bucky was coming home from a two week long mission and you couldn’t be more excited. Considering the mission was only supposed to take two days, this day was even more exciting.

For the rest of the Avengers, today was a long day. Today was the day that you would pester to no extent, and it all started at precisely 5:00am. 

“Wake up! Wake up! C’mon, wake up!” Sam cringed and covered his face with his pillow more, pressing it against his face to try to make the noise stop. His body bounced lightly as you stood on his bed jumping up and down. You were not a morning person, that was one thing you and Sam bonded most over; sleep.

So for you to be up before the sun had risen, and even before Steve went out for a run, was most certainly a surprise.

Sam groaned into his pillow, he was glad his face was being covered or else the bright overhead light of his room would certainly cause pain to his sleep filled eyes. The sun hadn’t even risen but yet you had opened all the curtains to his windows. 

“Sam! Sammy! Sams! Samother! Samillion! Sam, bam, dam, tam, pam, wam-”
“What do you want, woman?!” Sam shouted into his pillow but it was muffled enough to not wake anyone else near Sam’s room. 

“Let’s go to breakfast! We could go to Panera, Starbucks, Ben’s, Harold’s Coffee, Strange Donuts-no! Let’s go to Steak and Shake! Wait no, we should go there for lunch, yeah lunch is better! Where do you wanna go? I don’t know where I wanna go - but oh my god, we could go to Denny’s-” 

“No.”

“No? Okay well there’s always Russ and Daughters, I’ve never been there, I wonder if it’s good, do you think it’s good? Oh what about Kitchenette, I went there with Clint last week it was good-” 

“Time.” 

“Huh?”

“What’s the time?” 

“5:00am, bright and ear-”

“Get out.” 

“No need to be hasty-”

“Have you been drinking?”

“Only coffee! You want some, you need some, you’re grumpy-”

“How much coffee have you had?”

“Oh, only three cups-”

Three cups?”

“I know, I need more-”

“It’s only five, how long have you been up?!”

“Mm, not for sure, I needed the energy-”

“I highly doubt that.”

“Oh I know! Let’s go to Big Daddy’s!” You giggled, you were still jumping on his bed trying to get him out of bed but also the caffeine that pumped through your veins caused you not to stop moving.

“Get out!” He grabbed one of the pillows he was using and tossed it in the direction of your voice. You only laughed, but he could hear it hit you. You jumped off his bed and landed with a thump before he could hear his door crack open.

“So no Big Daddy’s?”

“Out! I said out!” He threw another pillow and you giggled before slamming his door shut just in time as the pillow connected with where you previously were.

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Sweet Collaboration

Originally posted by 0488

A/N: I said I would stop… I said I would take a break from smut… And what do I do? Take my friend’s suggestion to heart and write a KaiBaek threesome smut. Do I hate myself? A little. Do I hate her more? Hell yeah. Anyway, this is my first threesome smut, so, enjoy I guess. (This is pretty long, I think)

~Admin Allie

You stood in the middle of the room and practiced your breathing techniques. Your belly expanded as far out as it could before you exhaled the air that made snap back into place. You did this a few times, making sure to stretch out your lungs and to get yourself ready for the notes you’d have to belt out in just a few moments. You bent forward and took the top of your feet into your hands. You inhaled for three seconds and exhaled for the same amount of time. You were to repeat this exercise until you got to ten but before you could even reach eight, you felt someone’s cool hand on the exposed skin of your lower back. You shot up with a curse on the tip of your tongue but when you saw Baekhyun grinning at you, you just rolled your eyes.

“I’m impressed. You started doing your exercises without me.”

“That’s because you’re late.” Your words came out from deep inside of your chest, showing that you were more than ready to start your lesson. You made your way to the stand that the songs you practiced with sat upon. You looked down at the song you would be practicing for your Wednesday lesson and your eyebrows were fixated in a confused expression.

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Billy Joel ~ Piano Man

It’s nine o'clock on a Saturday
The regular crowd shuffles in
There’s an old man sitting next to me
Makin’ love to his tonic and gin

He says, “Son, can you play me a memory
I’m not really sure how it goes
But it’s sad and it’s sweet and I knew it complete
When I wore a younger man’s clothes”

La la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Sing us a song, you’re the piano man
Sing us a song tonight
Well, we’re all in the mood for a melody
And you’ve got us feelin’ alright

Now John at the bar is a friend of mine
He gets me my drinks for free
And he’s quick with a joke or to light up your smoke
But there’s someplace that he’d rather be
He says, “Bill, I believe this is killing me”
As the smile ran away from his face
“Well I’m sure that I could be a movie star
If I could get out of this place”

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Now Paul is a real estate novelist
Who never had time for a wife
And he’s talkin’ with Davy, who’s still in the Navy
And probably will be for life

And the waitress is practicing politics
As the businessmen slowly get stoned
Yes, they’re sharing a drink they call loneliness
But it’s better than drinkin’ alone

Sing us a song you’re the piano man
Sing us a song tonight
Well we’re all in the mood for a melody
And you got us feeling alright

It’s a pretty good crowd for a Saturday
And the manager gives me a smile
‘Cause he knows that it’s me they’ve been comin’ to see
To forget about life for a while
And the piano, it sounds like a carnival
And the microphone smells like a beer
And they sit at the bar and put bread in my jar
And say, “Man, what are you doin’ here?”

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Sing us a song you’re the piano man
Sing us a song tonight
Well we’re all in the mood for a melody
And you got us feeling alright

||Bad Jokes||

Oneshot
Mister J X Mute!Reader

||Warnings||
Language
Violence/ Blood
Daddy Kink
Mentions of sex

You stared up at the dim, flickering lights on the ceiling. You wanted to sing. You wanted to say your beloveds name but your current predicament didn’t allow it. Said predicament being a muzzle holding your mouth shut.

They treated you like an animal.

But you were an animal that didn’t deserve this. “They” were two men who kidnapped you from your dressing room backstage of the The White Queen.

It was a new club owned and run by none other than Mister J, the deranged criminal. However, this club was very fancy and uptight. It was boring to say the least but it made Mister J a lot of money. People had no idea who’s house they were walking into as they stepped into the club. Mister J was always in a room that overlooked the whole inside through a glass window that could see out but never in. It was somewhat a casino, gambling games around with snobby rich men always playing. There was a dance floor where you could waltz, classical music always played- unless someone was performing on the stage above the dance floor; and that’s what you did.

You were a singer.

‘Gotham City’s has the brightest gem in the whole world, and its you.’ Mister J told you. You first met the pale man at a fancy resteraunt you used to work at. You were a singer trying to make it in the big city! Of course it wasn’t going well currently. When you weren’t scheduled to sing, you were a waitress at the place. Then one day while you were working, you saw the managers daughter singing on the stage. You’d never talked to her before, she was pretty snooty. Yet there she was. Singing the song you wrote. Angrily, you stomped over to the piano man who was playing. You slammed the cover down, crushing his fingers. He yowled and pulled them away. All attention was on you.

“(Name)! What do ya think your doin!” the manager screamed at you.

“That’s my song and you know it!” you shouted back.

“She’s wanted to sing that song, its not a big deal”

“That’s MY song. You didn’t even ask me!” You spat through clenched teeth.

“DAAAAAADDYY! She’s ruining my performaaaaance!” his daughters high pitched voice squeaked out. You thought you heard a glass break from her shrill voice.
“That’s it! (Last Name), you’re fired!” the manager raised his hand to smack you. Directly before his hand touched you, gunshots went off. A bunch of various screams and shrieks went around the room and everyone dropped to the floor. “M-Mister J,” the manager stuttered, “I-I’m so sorry about this pesky gal! I-”
“Mr Pujol.” Mister J smiled wickedly while making eye contact with you, “You insulted my singer”
“Y-your singer?” you’d never seen the manager, Mr Pujol, scared before…

It was quite amusing!

Mister J nodded and forced his face into a frown, “I don’t take kindly to insults. So now, I’m afraid, I have to insult your singer!” Mister J snapped his fingers and the managers daughter was shot in the head. More screams erupted at the gunfire, the manager and tried to run to his daughter but was grabbed and held by two large men. Mister and attention was now turned to you, his smile bigger then ever, “I do not take kindly to insults, my dear..”
“(Name)..” you tilted your head
“You have questions, I’m sure. Let me walk you to your car”

“I don’t have a car..” you blushed

“No? Allow me to lend you one” Mister J extended his arm to you. You didn’t hesitate to take it. For a criminal he was certainly a gentleman. “Boys, get takeout for me” the man threw his head back in a fit of crazed laughter. You turned to see the men dragging the manager to the back of the resteraunt where his office was. You smirked as you turned you head back around.

“Now, I need a singer. I heard your lovely voice a few nights ago and i just had to hear it again” Mister J drawled out a few of his words.

“So?” You wanted to hear him ask you.

“Sooo, my dear,” he took your hand gently in his. “Be my star?”

To most people, a psychopath criminal giving you a job offer might seem a bit odd. Not only that but they would have run like hell in the opposite direction! You would have been crazy to accept the offer!

That’s what he liked about you.

You accepted, of course, and he showered you in gifts. Expensive ones too. Every night before you went on stage you would have a little gift and a rose sitting on your makeup table. You smiled and held the rose close to you.
This continued for a while until one day, you walked into your dressing room to see him.

Mister J.

He never visited you beforehand but today he was here to personally give you the present. You dared to think that he looked nervous but you would never say this out loud. You pulled your dress off of the hanger and stepped behind the changing curtain, “How can I help you, sir?” you asked casually but with a hidden smile.
“(Name)” he spoke and you stopped undressing yourself. You had only gotten your shoes, socks and jacket off when the curtain was pulled back. You gasped and covered yourself even though you still had clothes on.
Mister J didn’t laugh like he normally did when you embarrassed yourself.

“M-Mister J?” You backed into the wall, his body almost touching yours but just barely.

“(Name)..” He repeated and gently touched your cheek, “You’ve been consuming my thoughts. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I can’t THINK!” he shouted and slammed his hands down on either side of you.
“You’ve turned me into a different kind of mad man and I can’t stop it. I don’t want to..” he growled and buried his face in your neck. You gasped and blushed, knowing your neck was your weakest spot. You felt J’s hot breath on your neck and it sent shivers down your spine. “(Name), you’ve done the unspeakable to me. I crave you in every way. I want you so badly” Mister J held your hips and you could almost feel him restraining himself. Your eyes lit up as he pulled away from you to look at him.

This wasn’t a game.

He wasn’t drunk.

He was sincere.

Fuck.

With tears in your eyes, you crashed your lips onto his and kissed him passionately. J tasted like metal and chocolate. You smiled at the thought. Mister J pulled away with a wide smirk, to make a snarky comment, “What’re you smiling fo-” he stopped, “Why are you crying..?”
Mister J hated crying. It annoyed him. However, though he’d never admit it, he was concerned.

“I-I’m sorry J.. I couldn’t do it! It’s all a sick joke!” you cried, holding yourself. You were laughing at the same time as you sobbed. J was confused and growing even more worried,

“What do you mean, doll?”
He wasn’t sure what to do so he stroked your hair

“I b-broke your rule..” tears poured from your eyes as you looked up at him. Mister J had two rules.
1. Do NOT lie
2. Don’t fall in love with me
His gorgeous eyes widened at your confession.
“J, I love you! I can’t do this! I can’t be your pet or a toy! I don’t want that.. I quit” you cried, starting to run out but before you could reach the door, J grabbed your arm. He got down on one knee and silently held up a ring. It was your birthstone, (stone), with other little green diamonds surrounding it. It looked like a star. You cried harder as you fell to your knees and nodded. Mister J pulled you into his arms and shushed you, “Stop crying or I’ll change my mind”
You smacked his chest and both of you started laughing.

“Bad joke” you mumbled into his chest as you calmed down and wiped your tears away.
Mister J leaned down and moved your head in a way so he could kiss you. The kiss was rougher but just as passionate.
You slipped the ring on your finger and smiled.

“My little singer, (Name), my star” J began to kiss you vigorously all over, like he couldn’t get enough of you. “Darling,” Mister J grabbed your face as gently as he could and made you look at him, “I think I’m going to need you to skip the show tonight” J slid his hands in between your thighs and you blushed madly.
You’d never seen this side of Mister J. You cherished ever moment of this day. You only got times like these maybe once a month, if you were lucky, but fuck was it worth it! You loved this man and he showed you he cared deeply for you in his own special way.

Mister J made love to you that night in your dressing room. You two did not try and stay quiet, to say the least. Neither of you cared.

After this night, Mister J moved your belongings into his mansion. He had set up a room just for you in case you needed space from him some days. You hardly used that room. Funny enough, Mister J got mad when you did use that room! And it was his idea! Ha! The irony. Majority of the time, you were in the room you both shared. You stole his clothes as pajamas or sometimes you even pulled together outfits to wear with them! Mister J loved seeing you in his clothes. However it wasn’t enough. Your husband wanted EVERYONE to know you to belong to him.

Not just the goons he owned.

Not just clients he ended up killing.

Not just the people at his clubs.

EVERYONE had to know.

Mister J asked you if you trusted him one night. You of course replied honestly that you do. He smiled and kissed you and told you close your eyes and not to move no matter what. Mister J began to slice your skin open- at least that’s what it felt like. A buzzing sound went off for hours. You whimpered and held onto the chair you sat in, clenching your jaw. J kissed his work when he was done and showed you to a mirror. Directly on your left side of ribs was a tattoo in beautiful penmanship. ‘Mister J’s’ it read, with a little heart.

You were smiling as you remembered how you two came to be. The Ruthless Queen and King of Gotham. You loved the title those news anchors gave you. Of course afterwards, you and Mister J tied them to anchors and sent them down into the bottom of a lake.

They really shouldn’t have insulted you.

Your lips had a faint smile on them as you had your eyes closed. You felt warm for the first time in weeks having remembered those memories.

Weeks?

Weeks.

You’ve been in here for two weeks.

About a week ago your husband, the notorious Clown Prince of Crime disappeared. Your two kidnappers had given him two weeks to bring him a duffle bag full of $100 bills, as much as the bag could hold. It had been two weeks and for the first one, J didn’t even contact the two men. 7 days later, your husband disappears without a trace. Nothing on the news, no meetings, he’s not at the club, no word on the street- nothing.

Mister J had disappeared.

The two men tried to convince you that you were left for dead. Mister J wouldn’t be coming back for that beautiful face of yours. You growled at them. Deep down in your heart, you felt a pang of fear. You prayed to someone- anyone and anything that J didn’t abandon you. You dared to think that he loved you even though he never said it. You didn’t notice tears falling from your eyes, dripping down your bruised (s/c) cheeks.
You were silent as you heard footsteps and arguing outside of the door.

“We can’t KILL her! It’s a death sentence already that we kidnapped them!” Voice #1 was clearly panicking.

“A death sentence? The police won’t know!” Voice #2 burst into a crazed laughter that made you flinch, “We’re never gonna get caught-”

“To the Joker.” Voice #1 whispered as if Mister J could hear them.

“I ain’t afraid of him. He left Gotham two weeks ago, anyhow! The gal is useless now, man, just a good fuck for Mister J” Voice #2 chuckled.

Your blood started boiling. You had received those insults before and Mister J never tolerated them.

“A fuck toy?” Mister J threw his head back and laughed crookedly before snapping his head forward into whoever dared to defy his beloved.

“Toys are made to be broken,” Mister J growled with a wide smile, “I only break useless things!” the pale man waved a gun around looking for a disposable item. With his blue eyes locked on yours, he shot the person in the head, “Useless.. My (Name) is not a pathetic toy” he growled, looking to whom he shot.

You heard the men continue to argue.

“You said no one would die! I don’t want anyone to die!-” Voice #2 was interrupted by Voice #1,

“No one will bloody die then! We’ll return her to Mister J.. but not totally in tact” he chuckled.

That was rather vague. What’re they going to do to you? Send you back to Mister J in pieces? You rolled your eyes at the thought. Suddenly they burst in he room and threw a bag over your head. You gasped and inhaled chloroform, almost instantly knocking out.

You didn’t know it, but you were laying on a lab table unconscious. The two men had just finished the procedure on you to send the Joker a message. The first, more aggressive man looked over your beaten body hungrily. The timid second man was desperately scrubbing the blood off his hands.
An explosion went off that created a gaping hole in the wall. Who else would be the first to walk in, with a perfectly tailored suit but Mister J?

“Well, well, well gentlemen it looks like you’ve been busy~” Mister J sang as he looked at the two men cowering. The second man, in a panic, bowed in front of the King of Gotham. He was frightened and rambling, “Oh, Mister J, sir! I’m so so sorry! I never wanted to go through with this!”

“I do love a man who grovels” Mister J kneeled down, stroking the lads face with a gloved hand. The timid man expected his first encounter to be seeing Mister J smiling that signature smile. However, he wasn’t smiling. Everyone knows if you wipe the grin off of a jesters face, you’ve royally screwed yourself.
“You know what I hate? I hate a man who cheats in my games. You’ve taken my queen without defeating any pons” Mister J growled as he stood up to look for his precious wife.

There she was. Laying like Snow White on a metal lab table, sleeping but looking dead.

“(Name)” Mister J ran towards you and touched your face with a shaking hand. There was so much to do, wake you up, check your injuries- injuries.. J noticed the blood on your clothes. He looked down and his heart stopped as he saw stitches on your neck.

“What have you DONE?” Mister J turned around to look at the two men. His blue eyes seemed to turn red, filling with pure rage.
Neither of the men could find their voices. Mister J grabbed one of them and slammed them against the nearest wall, holding them by their neck, “TELL ME NOW!” he shouted, shaking the room.
The man he was holding up was clawing at Mister J’s hand, desperately trying to get air.
“Come on now!” J laughed, “Let’s see what shade of blue you’ll turn..” he growled with a psychotic smirk.

“H-he cut out her vocal chords!” Voice #2 piped up, “P-please put him down..”

The man was released of J’s death grip as he walked over to the man who dared interrupt his fun. Mister J kneeled down, glaring at the puny excuse of a man, “What was that?”

“He cut out her v-vocal chords.. so she couldn’t sing for you ever again” the man repeated
Mister J didn’t let any emotion flicker in his eyes. However his body language was a slight give away. J’s fingers twitched into fist that cracked all his knuckles, he rolled his neck and bared his teeth. The Clown Prince was ready to attack.

“Frost,” J spoke as calmly as he could, “Take (Name) to the nearest hospital.”

Frost, J’s right hand man, immediately scooped you off the cold metal table. You looked lifeless in his arms with just made your husband even more furious.
“Let’s play a game!” Mister J jumped to his feet and took off the jacket to his suit. A random goon of his held out his hand to hold the jacket carefully for his boss. Mister J took the henchman’s gun.
“Everybody likes games, right?” Mister J held his arms open as if he was asking everyone in the room. His goons nodded. The two men were shaking in fear on the ground.

BANG.

BANG.

The men started howling in pain as they reached for their legs, where Mister J had shot both of them.
“Here are the rules,” the cruel, pale man handed his goon’s gun back to him, “You two go and hide anywhere in this building!” J was smiling and acting like he’d just given them a gift, “If i don’t find you, you’re free to leave. Cross my heart.” He dragged a finger over the right side of his chest, where his heart would be.
“If you do find us?” Voice #1 choked out

“Pray I don’t” J growled wigan smile and started cackling, gasping for breath. The two men ran instantly in search for a place to hide. J sang a misleadingly sad song with a happy tune as he followed the bloody trails.

Back at the hospital, you were just waking up. You were insanely thirst.
You blinked your eyes open to see.. Frost? Frost! You opened your mouth to speak but nothing came out. Frost, however, was aware you were now awake. He came over to you and handed you a glass of water. You started to cry and cough after you took a sip, it burned your throat!

“(Name), please be careful..”
What happened? You tried to speak. Frost read your lips with ease but hesitated to answer.
“Mister J is handling those two men but.. to get back at him, they ripped your vocal chord out, so you can’t talk or sing”

You started crying. You couldn’t hear anything come out but the tears wouldn’t stop flowing. Frost knew it was dangerous to comfort you but he rested a hand on your shoulder to get your attention.

“You’ll be ok” he said simply. Normally that wouldn’t comfort you, just make you angry. Yet you smiled and felt like weight had been lifted from your shoulders. You said thank you and Frost nodded, leaving the room.

You noticed a pile of clean clothes on the counter in front of a mirror. You grabbed a familiar shirt and held it up to your nose. Yes! It was Mister J’s! You threw the hospital gown to the floor, putting on the (fav of J’s) shirt, jeans and clean undergarments that were left for you. You were smiling until you looked up. The mirror revealed how pale you (s/c) skin looked. The bruising around your tired, (e/c) eyes and how tangled your once gorgeous (hair style/ color) hair had become. You’d lost weight from not eating but not too much, the shirt you used to regularly wear was just a little big on you.

What really caught your eye, though, was the stitches on your neck. They looked scabby and red like they have been healing. How long have you been out?
To find your answer, you look around and find a chart by your bed.
'Blah, blah, blah, boring stuff..’ you thought with an eye roll. Then you saw it.

4 days.

Mister J had been “taking care” of those men for 4 days and you’d been here, unconscious for the same amount of time. You opened the door to your room, getting Frosts’ attention to somehow let him know to take you to J. The drive was silent but pleasant, you were simply happy to be free! You sighed as you inhaled fresh air. However, your happiness was cut short as you saw the outside of the warehouse you were being kept in. Shivers went down your spine but you stood tall. Blood curdling screams could be heard echoing around the building. You shook yourself of the fear. You marched into the room you heard the cries coming from.
“Mister J” Frost made your entrance known.

The room went silent.

“(Name)” J said your name with such a strong tone you wouldn’t have been able to tell he missed you if you weren’t looking at him! Mister J looked as if he could cry from joy. You knew he’d never show any sort of emotion in front of anyone- occasionally you but now was no exception.
“Pardon me, gentlemen, I have a side project to attend to” Mister J firmly, but gently, took your arm and pulled you to the next room. Before you could open your mouth, J’s lips were on yours, kissing you as softly as he possibly could. He held you close, inhaling your scent like you had his shirt. If you didn’t have so many obvious injuries, he wouldn’t be so gentle. Yet, right now you were Mister J’s little porcelain doll that had cracked. He is gluing the pieces together and waiting for them to dry before playing with the doll again. You enjoyed this warm embrace and teared up.
“Now, now,” he whispered, pulling away just enough to wipe away your tears, “(Name)..”
You carefully observed your husband. He looked extremely tired, like he hadn’t slept in weeks. His normally wicked playboy smile was replaced with a genuinely happy one. You smiled and placed a hand on his cheek, saying his name. You both frowned as nothing came out. Mister J took a shaking finger and ghosted it around your healing stitches.
“I..” He looked at you with a loss for words.
You placed a finger on his mouth. J tilted his head curiously at you but he was smiling playfully again. You took your hands and made up your own sign language to say “I love you”.
J chuckled, “I bet you’ll be the master at charades soon”
You slapped his chest playfully but had a smile on your face.
“Ok, ok,” he giggled while hugging you once more, “bad joke”

You two somehow 'talked’ for a little longer, J seemed to be very entertained with your mute state. Frost eventually knocked on the opposite wall causing J to roll his neck and growl, “What?!”
“Sir if you have any last words for these scum, I’d hurry. They’re fading fast” was all Frost said.
You were holding J’s hand on your cheek, nuzzling into it. J turned to you and instantly started smiling again.
“Show me again” he whispered. You tilted your head as you had been doing when you were confused or needed him to explain.
“The finger thing” he said.
Oh!
You happily signed 'I love you’ and kissed him sweetly.

“I love you too” J whispered, his ruby red lips barely touching yours. Your heart leaped in your chest and you blushed furiously.

He said it.

“Daddy’s gonna go take care of some big bullies for you, ok? Then we can go home and play more. Daddy’s gonna get some noises out of you somehow~” Mister J purred and winked at you.
You couldn’t scream, so instead you covered your blushing face and ran around with a big smile on your lips. When you accidentally ran into a wall you heard wild laughter,
“Careful~ Don’t need you going blind as well”
You rolled your eyes with a smirk and threw your shoe at J.
He chuckled and whispered to himself, “Bad joke”

you cant fuck brook my good mate. Why you wanna, i dont get it, he doesnt have blood, skin, or organs, let alone genitals. he’s pretty much just slash and jimi hendrix’s fencing piano man skeleton lovechild,  and there is no one who can get off to that, even if you think you can. again, even if you stuck your dick in his hipbone or whatever, youll just hvae to listen to an hour of “it appears we are BONE-ing! Yohohohohoho!”. he never cums. he doenst even have any dick, or semen, or ass, or throat, or tongue. your dick is gonna be soft as a pile of silly putty after hearing all that shit. youre never gonna get an erection again. you just gotta keep listening to shitty bone puns, and fuck, you deserve it for wanting to fuck goddamn billie joel sing us a song youre the piano man slash jimi hendrix experience tophat wearing fencing singing bone pun yelling singing hallmark motherfucker skeleton. youre a goddamn mess, charlie “anon” brown