Could you write a fic where Ash has a cold but still shows up at the theater to play? The gang tries to convince her to go home, but she's in denial about being sick, and every time she sneezes she sends a few spikes flying (and mainly landing on Buster).
I try to do my prompts in the order that I get them, but I felt this one was appropriate to write since I’m battling my own cold :/
Fun fact! Porcupines can not shoot quills out of their backs like depicted in Sing and other cartoons. However, like many facts I come across while writing fanfiction, I chose to ignore that.
I hope you enjoy!
Rosita leaned down to Buster as Ash pluged in her amp to begin her warm up. “You really should send her home, she’s not okay to play here!” The pig whispered.
“I know that!”
Ash strummed on her guitar and sniffled softly, oblivious of the conversation happening on the other side of the stage about her. Rosita kept her voice hushed. “Ash is coughing and her eyes are blood shot, Buster! She can hardly speak!”
The porcupine in question began her set, singing in a raspy voice that was barely audible even through the microphone.
“He was a boy, she was a girl. Can I make it anymore for obvious?”
Buster Moon drummed his fingers on his clipboard and pursued his lips. “Ash insisted she was fine so-.”
“You believe that?”
“Of course I don’t, Rosita! But if Ash actually believes she’s fine, she’ll just go and wreak havoc else where if I make her leave! At least here, we know she’s safe.”
“He was a skater boy, she said see you later boy. He wasn’t good enough for her, she had a-a-achoo!”
The sneeze echoed through the theatre and, just like every performance, quills went flying in every direction. Rosita ducked behind the curtain, grabbing Buster almost in time to prevent getting hit, but quite a few spikes got his leg.
He winced at the pain, but another sneeze from Ash sent quills through the air, hitting the heavy curtain they were behind. A coughing fit followed and Rosita frowned at the sound of it.
“She might be safe here, but we’re not,” Buster huffed.
“Sorry!” Ash croaked. Buster and Rosita poked their heads out to see Ash yawning and shaking her head, dropping more loose quills to the ground. On the other side of the stage, Johnny and Mike, perched on the gorilla’s shoulder watched as well. “I’ll…I’ll start again.” Ash strummed off-key on her guitar and opened her mouth.
Rosita jumped out, but before she could speak, Mike was yelling across the stage. “Kid, go home!” Ash turned toward him. “You’re gonna kill everyone, either with those daggers you call hair or with that bubonic plague you’re carrying!”
“Bite me, pip squeak! I’m fi-.” Ash’s retort was cut off by another violent sneeze as if to prove’s Mike’s point. Everyone rushed to their hiding spots to avoid being hit by soaring spikes.
“Big talk for someone who can hardly stand up straight!”
Ash sniffled. “I can do more than just stand up straight. Come over here and-!”
Rosita heard enough. “Stop it!” She snapped in an uncharacteristic tone and all eyes fell to her. She was a mother of 25, Rosita could handle a couple of adults that acted as old as kids were. “Ash, dear,” she began much nicer. “You really don’t look well. I think you might want to sit.”
Buster drew courage from her and stepped out from behind the theatre curtain as well. “Yeah, Ash, why don’t you just watch for today, sit and relax?”
Mike dashed into Johnny’s jacket while the gorilla took a spike to arm; Rosita just dodged one to her hip and Buster took two more into his forehead.
“Ehhh, sorry.” Ash shrugged sheepishly.
Rosita sighed as Buster gave a strained smile with watery eyes. “I have some leftover soup at my house, would you at least eat that if I bring it back?”
Ash looked even more embarrass. “You don’t have to do that for me, Rosita,” she mumbled in between a series of coughs, looking at the ground.
“Here!” Johnny stepped forward hesitantly, plucking the stray spike from his sleeve. When Ash didn’t sneeze, he continued forward. “Take my jacket, stay warm.”
Mike rushed out of a pocket. “Oh, no! I’m not going near Patient Zero!” He jumped from Johnny’s jacket and scampered backstage. “And sanitize the mic when she’s done! The whole stage while you’re at it!”
Ash shook her head to refuse Johnny’s care, but he insisted and draped it around her shoulders. On her, the hem of his jacket touched the ground.
“I can have Mrs. Crawley make you some tea?” Buster offered in a high pitched voice, having plucked one quill from his head.
“Guys, really, I’m fine-.” Everyone flinched. Ash was bewildered. “What?” She rasped.
“Isn’t ’I’m fine’ the launch code for your quill missiles?”
“Shut up, Mike.”
“Very clever comeback, Spikes. Dead on your feet and you’ve still got wicked retorts.”
Rosita interrupted the bickering that certainly reminded her of her piglets. “I’ll run home and grab the soup. Do you need anything else, Ash?”
Mike piped up again, offering, “a full trained medical squad?”
Ash ignored him. “Really, Rosita. It’s no big deal-.” Another sneeze took them all off guard and flinching back, but Johnny’s jacket blocked them from traveling. After sneezing a second time and looking over her shoulder, Ash handed the jacket back to Johnny. In a hoarse voice, she explained, “I don’t want to put holes in this.”
“Oh, you definitely need some throat lozenges, dear. I’ll grab those with the soup.”
“Don’t worry about those,” Mike called. “I’ve got a handful in my car I can grab.” Ash and Buster gave him a strange look. “What? They soothe your throat and give you nice breath, don’t judge a guy for staying healthy and well-kept!”
“I’ll run back to my place and grab some blankets,” offered Johnny as he slid his jacket back on.
“Thank you, Mike and Johnny.” Buster nodded, turning away. “I’ll get Mrs. Crowley on that tea.” Mike followed him off of the stage and out to his car.
“I’ll pick up some orange juice too,” Rosita decided. “Maybe some cough syrup.”
“I’ve got plenty of juice at my place!” Johnny chimed, grabbing his skate board. “I’ll grab those, Rosita, don’t worry about that.”
Rosita smiled at him before she turned to Ash. “I’ll be back in 15 minutes, Ash. You sit down with that tea until then. Buster and Mike can keep you company”
“Seriously, I’m not that sick!” Listening to herself, Ash wondered if she really was that ill. She certainly didn’t sound like herself.
“I’ll grab some tissues too,” Johnny called as he left through the back door. “I’ll be back soon, I promise!”
Rosita led Ash to a cushioned chair backstage and pressured her to sit. “Mrs. Crawley will bring you your tea soon and that will soothe your throat, dear. Sit tight until then, okay?”
Ash huffed. “Do I actually have a choice?”
Rosita paused and a hint of a smile graced her face. “Not really. You better get use to us looking out for you like this because it’s only going to get worse from here,” she teased.
As Rosita left she thought she saw Ash smiling and decided the young girl was just delirious.
I feel like Ash would have had an Avril Lavigne phase when she was younger, but not anymore. I included it anyway!
Don’t ask where Meena and Eddie were. I don’t know; Johnny and Mike almost didn’t make it in to this, but I love Seth MacFarlane too much to not love Mike as well.
WYR get your dad out of jail early or make a full career out of singing?
“I’d choose my career.”
“I love my dad, but he’s a criminal. That’s not who I am, and not who I want to be. I wan’ t’be a singer. If I were t’make a career ou’ of it, I could pay the bail money m’self. But if ‘m honest… I was ‘urting from the consequences of my actions, but now ‘m growing from ‘em. I’ve chosen my dad o’er my own ‘appiness, but…now it’s my turn. No one ‘as any say o’er my life but me.”
After a few months after the concert the theater group is less like a group and more like a family, and what do families do? They have family game nights. Johnny and Ash have a great family night planned for their new theater family and can’t wait to share it with the other. And what better game to play with a new family than ‘Cards Against Humanity? Who will make their big move?