Does God hate me?

Anonymous asked: Does God hate me because I look at porn?

Unka Glen answered: Nah, I don’t hate you for looking at porn, and I’m a lot less understanding than God is. I get the feeling that your real question is: does God hate me the way I hate myself for watching porn? The answer there is that God doesn’t think the way you do about anything.

God Himself says in Isaiah 55:8-9 “My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

God’s higher way of looking at things is to look at the abuse we put ourselves through, and to try to free us from it. Our lower way of looking at things is to assume that God can’t summon anything but anger towards our shortcomings.

And you are abusing yourself, but it’s not the porn, it’s the guilt. The porn was just the enemy’s way of triggering the guilt. And what is it about guilt? We can wallow in it like it’s something good, something pleasing and delicious. We need to see the evil in that.

Guilt keeps me from going to God, after all, if I think He hates me, I’m not going to go running to Him, I’m going to be running from Him. Now, somebody explain to me how I’m supposed to act right if I don’t go towards God to get His strength?

In this way, guilt leads to me doing MORE wrong, even as I reward myself for my “holy” self-hate, and the way I grieve my past sins. What sort of twisted pride is it to think of myself as so incapable of sinning, that the very thought that I could commit a sin would send me into depths of despair? And then I would feel even more pride in the “holy” way I punish myself for committing those sins?

You know what? You’re a sinner. We all are. So get over yourself.

You want to truly repent? Okay, stop disrespecting God by assuming that He isn’t kind. Romans 2:4 says “Do you disrespect God’s great kindness and favor? Do you disrespect God when He is patient with you? Don’t you realize that God’s kindness is meant to turn you away from your sins?”

Self-destruction isn’t snorting the line on the party just because you want to try it for fun and thinking “I’ll do it just once, just to try it!” Self-destruction isn’t going out and drinking a little too much sometimes.
Self-destruction is taking that line even you know what will happen, knowing the side effect of that. It’s taking that line, not because of fun or people around you,  it’s because you have that urge inside you that tells you to do it, to fuck yourself up.
Self-destruction is going out with the intention to get drunk and not know about yourself the whole time just because you feel something inside of yourself that needs to be destroyed. You don’t drink because you’re sad or happy, you drink to kill that something inside of you.
Self-destruction is that smoke of cigarette you just took. You didn’t start smoking because of people around you make you do it, you started smoking because you heard it’s bad for you. Now you’re addicted. Or maybe you aren’t but you still do it.
Self-destruction is when you go to some random person you met at the bar house because of sex. You don’t know who he is, you could be anybody, you could end up dead, raped, you don’t know it won’t happen, but you go anyway. You know all the risks but you do it anyway.
Self-destruction is pushing people away and making yourself antisocial on purpose.
Self-destruction is popping painkillers even if you aren’t in pain.
Self-destruction is getting into fights on purpose.
Self-destruction is letting your id doing whatever you want.
Self-destruction is a lot of things, but it’s never a choice.
Self-destruction isn’t mental illness.
Self-destruction isn’t when you break up with your boyfriend so you lock your room and cry or go out and get drunk to forget about him.
Self-destruction is something in people, something that pulls you to the edge. It’s the sweetest sin of all of them. You can fight it, but it always wins. People keep saying to fight it like if they can fight it, you can fight it also, but if you are a really self-destructive you can’t fight it and you know it. It’s part of your reality, your life.
Not all alcoholics are self-destructive.
Not all addicts are self-destructive.
Not all drug addicts are self-destructive.
Not all who are depressive are self-destructive.
Not all alcoholics are self-destructive.
Not all addicts are self-destructive.
Not all drug addicts are self-destructive.

I smoke, I drink, I take pills – I’m not addicted to any of that.
I do it do destroy myself.

I don’t hate myself, I’m very far from hating myself. But some people do hate themselves. Some do, some don’t. everybody is different.
If somebody asked me why I do what I do I wouldn’t know how to answer. I know what is the goal, but I don’t know the main reason beside something self-destructive inside me.

For example, I know what heroin does to people but I’d love to try it. But I’ll never do it. Not because I don’t want to, but because I know what would it do to people around me. I don’t want to fuck them up. I want to fuck me up. And there are ways to do it without hurting somebody constantly.
People who are self-destructive don’t want to harm you, they want to harm themselves.

—  T.S. aka me/ things i never said out loud

anonymous asked:

Filthiest smut?

*rises out of the depths of hell*
hello yes i’ve been summoned

School of Fun by staycute1234 [everyone, M, 12k]

natural and automatic by shrdmdnssftw [Vmin, E, 3k]

i wanna feel you in my bones by Bangtanbananas [Jikook, E, 7k]

Two Can Play This Game by ulthosucc [Sugakookie, E, 3k]

Strawberry Heat by darkcinderwolf [Yoonmin, M, 2k]

you can feel it in your mind by depnahh [Jimin/Jungkook/Tae, E, 15k]

In motion by thatbangtanhoe [Namseok, M, 2k]

For Your Love (I’d do Anything) by sobi_baby [Yoonseok, E, 2k]

To the naked eye by mecchayabai [Jikook, E, 5k]

Of Bath Bombs & Shower Gels by cherri_cola [Yoonmin, E, 25k]

In My Head (I’ve Been Waiting) by seikou [Taekook, E, 71k]

I get so breathless (when you call my name) byrapsucka (sonyeondanbiased) [Namjoon/Jungkook/Jimin, E, 9k]

Been There All Day by Bangtanbananas [Yoonmin, E, 14k]

[drabble collection] by shikae (39smooth) [everyone, E, 21k]

Touch and feel by vminhope [everyone, E, 6k]

i can’t hide it (i’m like this every day) by sirradel [Yoonseok, E, 10k]

Principle of Behaviour by rix [Yoongi/Jungkook/Tae, E, 12k]

A Questionable Decision by orphan_account [Yoongi + Maknae Line, E, 21k]

Skin by write_the_impossible [everyone, E, 57k]

Entertain us by NightsBurning [everyone, E, 10k]

got my body so wet by fatal (cumrich) [Minjoon, E, 8k]

you’ll get totally drenched, so bring another pair of panties by voseok [Minjoon, E, 9k]

- Admin Ange (ur local hoe/smut fic enthusiast)

anonymous asked:

any really well-written smut?

Our precious Admin Ange recently answered a similar ask here! Check that out!

ask me what’s my best side, i’ll stand back and point at you by rimjobenthusiast  [Taekook, E, 5.7k]

Got You On My Lips by buttstrife (orphan_account) [Taekook, E, 2k]

Not my delivery by AnonymousXJWIFE [Taekook, E, 19k]

Two Can Play This Game by ulthosucc [Yoonkook, E, 3.5k]

I Look for Ways to Say I Love You, but I Ain’t Into Making Love Songs by WooJico [Yoonseok, E, 5.4k]

Falling, catching by chihiro [Junghope, E, 6.7k]

take it or leave it by mianderings [Namgi, E, 40k]

To the naked eye by mecchayabai [Jikook, E, 5.9k]

i wanna feel you in my bones by Bangtanbananas [Jikook, E, 7k]

Shots Fired by eclairdeluxe [Taegi, E, 33k]

Sixth Position by Anonymous [Junghope, E, 3.5k]

be a good baby (do what i want) by switchtaeguk [Taekook, E, 8.5k]

Bad Decisions by Bangtanbananas [Yoonmintae, E, 5.8k]

Call Me Sir (Or A Good Boy) by musclekink [Taekook, E, 15k]

kiss kiss, bang bang by Bangtanbananas [Taekook - Yoonmin, E, 48k - 6 works]


-Admin Nana