simultanism

So there’s this moment in 1D Day where Ziam are blindfolded and standing next to each other

And Liam (LOAM!) lifts his giant 19th century frontier’s man hands and reaches out to find Zayn

And when his massive paws make contact with Zayn’s tiny kitten man body, he breaks out into this HAPPY GRIN :’(

While simultaneously gently caressing Zayn’s waist and shoulder. Liam gets in a boob grab BUT ITS THE MOST GENTLE AND REVERENT BOOB GRAB

And he says “I’ve got Zaynie” with a smile made of the sun and my tears

“I’VE GOT ZAYNIE”!!!1! MEANWHILE I’M

AND ZAYN JUST, HE LEANS INTO IT AND GRABS TO TOUCH LIAM’S HAND

“Thaht’s yew, Leeyum”

And I am a withered husk in the corner, my wails carried on the wind and used as a renewable energy source 

Meme Zizek and Meme Stirner at a diner
  • Zizek: (sipping a rose) I do not tip
  • Stirner: (simultaneously drinking a coffee and smoking a cigarette at the same time) and why is that
  • Zizek: Because it is a manifestation of an ideological sense, towards a nonsensical charity. the tip does nothing towards ending the inherent oppression of the waiter, or in our case, waitress
  • Stirner: ah (puts out cigarette in Zizek's wine) see, I don't tip, because I'm an asshole, who likes to keep my money, and you could have just said that and I would have respected it
Types find out they have an unexpected quiz
  • ESFJ: This is ridiculous! I asked the teacher yesterday and she said we didn't have a quiz!
  • INTJ: I told you so.
  • ESFJ: But I asked her! She literally told me we didn't have a quiz. What an irresponsible teacher! Her website said we didn't have a quiz today.
  • INTJ: I checked her website this morning. I knew I was right. My update was more recent than yours.
  • ENFP and ISFJ: *look at each other simultaneously and mock INTJ* "My update was more recent than yours." *laughing*
  • ENTJ: *Silently watches the others fall into their inevitable demise while surfing Tumblr* ESFJ, stop reading over my shoulder.
  • ESFJ: *Turns to ESFP in distress and continues panicking*
  • ESFP: *smiling and nodding*
  • ESFP: *knocks head into Christmas tree on the table*
  • INFJ: *studying in the corner with tears streaming down her face*

You know the saddest part about this 30-40 degree weather?

Our poor little kitty cat, who is 1000% the baby of the family (even if our puppy is younger), is too hot to cuddle.

As in, she gets so touch-starved bc it’s too hot for close contact… that the minute you pause in front of a fan, or if there’s one on in your room early morning-ish, she’s THERE™ and ready to love you to death.

It’s adorable, and super-sad, simultaneously.

You: I sleep at least 8 hours a day
Me, astral projecting into the past and the future simultaneously, glitching into the sixth dimension, my voice a thousand undying souls, my eyes a million galaxies: can’t relate

youtube

On this day in music history: December 7, 1991 - “Black Or White” by Michael Jackson hits #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for 7 weeks. Written by Michael Jackson and Bill Bottrell, it is the twelfth solo chart topper (sixteenth overall) for “The King Of Pop”. Issued as the first single from Jackson’s eighth album “Dangerous” on November 11, 1991, the single is premiered on radio just days before its arrival in stores. The track is supported by an elaborate eleven minute long short film directed by John Landis (“Thriller”). The clip has its broadcast debut simultaneously on MTV, BET, VH1, and the Fox television network on November 14, 1991, drawing a record breaking viewing audience. However, the extended dance sequence of the film draws controversy due to several scenes of Jackson rubbing and grabbing his crotch as well as destroying a car and breaking windows. The singer issues a statement the next day apologizing, stating that “the violent and suggestive behavior was an interpretation of the black panther’s animal instincts”. The controversy does not hurt the songs’ airplay or sales. It becomes the fastest rising single on the Hot 100 since The Beatles “Get Back” in 1969. Entering the Hot 100 at #35 on November 23, 1991, it pole vaults to the top of the chart two weeks later. Jackson also becomes the first artist in history to have number one singles in the 70’s, 80’s and 90’s. On the UK singles chart, it is the first single to enter the chart at number one since Elvis Presley’s “It’s Now Or Never” in 1960. “Black Or White” also tops the charts in seventeen other countries, and is ranked the top single of 1991 by Billboard Magazine. “Black Or White” is certified Platinum in the US by the RIAA.

I still cannot fucking believe that a shit faced drunk Yuuri managed to win over Viktor’s heart. That he managed to bring into his life two things he’s felt he’s been missing for so long and that likely caused him to no longer find joy in skating, just by being an energetic, sexy ass motherfucker that was absolutely fucking adorable and so sweet with him as they danced the night away together. That this man, drunk off his ass to hell and back, with a little whiny “Viktor, be my coach!” while fucking snuggling him half naked with big, pleading eyes, cute as a button while simultaneously wrecking the dance floor and fucking stripping on a pole with his best friend Chris, gave him everything he had been lacking in a single night, and subsequently made him fall in love at first drunken sight and later set the stage for their reunion and fall right back in love with him, I’m fucking–

EPISODE 10 HAS ME SHOOK

SPOILERS FOR YOI EP 10

Why this episode killed me and gave me life simultaneously:
-THERE WERE RINGS
-THEY SAID THEY’RE GETTING MARRIED AND IT WASN’T PLAYED OFF AS A JOKE
-EVERYONE WAS TOTALLY COOL WITH IT
-PHICHIT IS LITERALLY THIS FANDOM BLESS YOU PHICHIT
-YURIO MADE A FRIEND
-FUCK JJ
-CHRIS WAS ACTUALLY NOT UNBEARABLE
-LEO AND GUANG ARE BFF’S ITS ADORABLE
-GEIOGI WAS ON A DATE
-EMIL AND MIKEY ARE FRIENDS
-THIS EPISODE WAS PERFECT


I’m d e d

2

Things weren’t exactly going all that well. Alright, it was closer to a disaster if you were to be honest. Cooking had never exactly been your thing, but in the holiday spirit you had tried, boy had you tried. Fortunately for you, it seemed that fate was willing to intervene, in something of an odd manner.

Rushing around your kitchen, you desperately attempt to wave some of the smoke out of the window while simultaneously attempting to knock the smoke detector off the wall and silence it. Certain that the cookies you were baking were burning, you turn the oven off without bothering to check as you finally get the horrid beeping to stop, only to hear a new sound, equally urgent, coming from your front door.

Rushing towards the door, oven mitts still on, you quickly pull the door open, only to be stunned into a standstill as you take in the odd sight in front of you. There, at your front door no less, stood none other than the Mayor himself, one Oliver Queen, a concerned look on his face as he quickly looks between you and the smoke coming from the kitchen.

“Hi,” he starts, his smile oozing charm as he relaxes slightly, seeing no danger at hand. “I know we haven’t spoken before, I’m Oliver, I live next door,” he introduces himself, offering a hand for you to shake.

“Y/N,” you reply, moving to shake his hand, only to realise you still have the mitt on. Quickly discarding it, you shake his hand, smiling softly as a pleasant chuckle falls from his lips at your actions.

“I don’t mean to be rude, but is everything alright?” Oliver asks, his eyebrows peaked in curiosity as he looks to you in question. “I could smell burning.”

Your blush was instantaneous. Of course, of all the people to smell your failed attempt at baking, it would have to be the mayor, the rather attractive mayor at that.

“Yeah, I, uh… I may not be as good at baking as I had hoped,” you reply, rather flustered.

“Oh?” Oliver prompts simply, his gentle smile never wavering.

“Yeah, I kind of promised my family I’d bring cookies to our family Christmas catch up tomorrow… looks like they may have to be store brought,” you admit, suddenly unsure of why you have told him all this.

“Well,” Oliver starts slowly, as if still debating whether or not he should simply leave you to it. “I happen to be pretty handy in the kitchen, perhaps I could help?”

You’re more than somewhat startled by the offer, but the genuine smile on his lips easily puts your mind at rest. “You realise I’m not kidding about being awful, right?” you question, folding your arms in front of you as a playful smile graces your lips. “Because if I take you up on that offer you will be doing like 90 percent of the work.”

“I can cope with that,” Oliver chuckles in return.

The way you make me feel;Broken

Yeah. I know that, but I don’t think I will ever be over this… I love him in a way I have never loved anyone before, and never will again.

Like my heart is broken and I can’t help but cry, I know eventually I will stop. But right now that seems like an eternity away.

Every time I think about seeing him, I cry and I want to just skip school.
Every time I close my eyes I see his face, I cry more and I want to keep my eyes open forever.
Every time there’s silence I hear his voice telling me “I love you baby girl” yet simultaneously saying “I’m breaking up with you” and so I just break down and I want to die. Or just Never feel anything ever again, not happy or sad or love or jealousy or laughter or smiles or joy or warmth or cold or tears or fight or scream or hold another hand or see another boy or even wear another sweater,shirt,ring or pants, cus nothing will be his/him. I can’t help but lay in bed and cry my eyes out. I can’t help but be broken