So I, of my own volition, watched The Boy Next Door, starring Jennifer Lopez. I can unequivocally say that it is simultaneously the best and worst movie ever. This movie is all sorts of cray, and utterly excruciating to sit through. But like any car accident, you are compelled to watch. The acting is by far the best out of any Lifetime movie, quite possibly only rivaled by Kung Pow: Enter the Fist or Troll 2. It is so horribly written that it makes The Room a cinematic masterpiece. I also realized that the radio ad for the film that featured the brilliant dialogue of J.Lo screaming “Stay away from me!” and Noah (her stalker) responding with “I can’t. I live next door,” actually wasn’t a real exchange from the movie. This was pieced together from individual dialogue lines throughout the movie. Which means someone deliberately thought it would be an amazing idea for these magical words to be the teaser for the film.
I can’t even begin to tell you guys how delightful this movie is.
#Matt #Matt what the fuck #no you can’t be doing this to me #what the actual #I’M FUCKING EIGHTEEN YOU ASSHOLE I CAN’T GET MARRIED #you’re not actually proposing #no you’re not #you stop this right now #no it’s too soon #oh fuck I love you #can you not though #but I love you #but maybe we could #no stop it self you’re too young self you have to finish college first self #this is simultaneously the best and worst thing to ever happen to me? #FUCK IT I’LL SAY YES #FUCK IT NO I WON’T BUT I’LL LOOK LIKE THE BIGGEST ASSHOLE AND HE’S FUCKING FILMING THIS #I’M ACTUALLY ABOUT TO DIE #oh wait you’re not proposing okay #okay I love you #okay thanks for the ring #okay heart attack over #okay yeah I love you too #Merry fucking Christmas everybody