simplystephanyy's diary

I had a feeling they were gonna go home tonight

Especially after reading a tweet Brian posted earlier this week

I knew it was coming and yet when they said “Electrolytes,” or however you spell there name, my emotions came out

YES I started crying! And when they showed Brian tearing up … I just can’t … that’s my baby and it killed me seeing that …

Whatever I don’t even care about the finale next week, I need a moment lol

Do you guys want to know how bad I want to be a MakeUp Artist?

It is a bittersweet moment when I see people getting their makeup done in stores.

I’m intrigued by the techniques and the colors and I just see myself doing that for other people. I want to make girls feel beautiful, not just on the outside but on the inside as well. I want them to feel that they left with more confidence than when they came in. I love seeing that face on a girl when she sees her makeup done, especially if she has never seen herself like that. I want to be able to do that.

But instead I’m stuck here, in a shitty community college. I hate it here. I have to do assignments that I don’t care for, I stress for nothing basically since I know I don’t want to do anything in my future that has to do with this shit. I wish my parents would understand that life isn’t about getting a job that gives you the most money but instead a job that makes you happy. Something you will want to do for the rest of your life instead of waking up one day only to realize that you just wasted your entire life miserable.

Honestly I could probably live my entire life being alone

I mean I love my little group of friends I have but at the end of they day, its just me. I spend most of my time by myself. And I wouldn’t blame them if they stopped talking to me because I always seem to push people away. Not like in a hateful way I just don’t allow them to know too much about me. I know everything about them yet they know nothing about me. At the end of they day, if something is bothering me I keep it to myself. I cry to myself and then I push it to the back of my mind. I never realized how isolated I am until right now. I caused this to myself though. I guess being alone isn’t all that bad since its never bothered me.