The Dating P. Kelly

This post is from my notes on a series called Opposites Attract pt II. at my home church Mount Rubidoux SDA.  You can tune into the broadcasts for this series at  Please tune in for a blessing. :)

Date successfully, don’t marry unsuccessfully. 

2 Acronyms that will lead to a successful dating life:

D.E.F.I.N.E. and S.T.O.P

D: Determine the commitment level:

  • Both people involved must be clear on their commitment level, whether it be exclusive or friendship.

E: Evaluate the environment: 

  • Evaluate the type of environment that the person has around them. You should be asking…“When I leave this persons presence, do I feel closer to God?”

F: Fine-tune your boundaries (values): No boundaries=no definition

  • 1st. define us: your likes and dislikes in a relationship.
  • 2nd. Protection
    • 2 problems: Freedom and Responsibility 
    • Freedom: the ability to make choices in your relationship. Don’t cut back values to make a relationship work.
    • Responsibility: the ability to execute your task in keeping the relationship healthy and loving. The responsibility should be equal on both sides. 

I: Invest in yourself:

  • put time into yourself (Me time).  

N: Network for success:

  • keep yourself surrounded by individuals who are close to us and can talk to us about our relationships.  Be willing to be a good friend and help in a relationship if you see problems. 

E: Enhance your goodbyes:

  • S.T.O.P
    • S: Say clearly what this person meant to you and how you value them.
      • tell them what you appreciated from them, how they made you feel (good things), and what traits they had that meant a lot to you.
    • T: Tactfully handle their feelings:
      • keep their feelings in mind when you are in this process.
    • O: Openly explain the issues in the relationship:
      • everyone wants closure, talk about the issues you had so you can carry it over and fix it in your next relationship.  
    • P: Prepare the New Plan (STICK TO THE PLAN)
      • We are done with option A, what are we going to be now as option B…friends, someone who doesn’t have your number, someone you avoid…etc. 

Dating needs to be DRAMA FREE.

We don’t bring our spirituality to our dating experience, we bring our dating experience to our spirituality. 

I hope you enjoyed the notes that I took from this presentation, I hope it helps you as it has helped me.