simple-machines

10

This is about Wyatt’s wife, isn’t it? I knew he was fixated on her murder, but this is just so reckless. Can you blame him?

It occurred to me what a simple thing reality is, how easy it is to make it work. It’s just reality. Just housework. Just a home. Like running a simple machine. Once you learn to run it, it’s just a matter of repetition. You push this button and pull that lever. You adjust a gauge, put on the lid, set the timer. The same thing, over and over.
—  Haruki Murakami
Plush Sans Commission

-Undertale-

65USDollar– 70USDollar depending on detailes

-Underswap-

60USDollar – 65USDollar depending on detailes

-Underfell-

70USDollar – 75USDollar depending on detailes

Accessoires like bones, souls and so on, (the things they can hold in their hands) and things like collars will cost 5 USDollar extra per accessory.

Shipping is not for free and can be (depending on the country you come from) pretty high. Keep that in mind please :)

The plushies are made of soft plush minky and felt. The patterns are made by myself and still worked on. I use a sewing machine and simple hand-sewing.
The arms are movable and the faces are all uniquely made of felt sewed to the minky, the jacket is to be opened and closed with Velcro. The plushs can be ordered with magnets so they can hold small stuff in their hands like plush hearts or bone attacks x)
Their clothes are completely removable except the tank-top for their arms are attached to them. There is also an elastic band in their pants to make sure it fits the plush. :)
Each plush is around 35cm from head to toe.
Everything I do is completely self thought and not perfect. I’m still learning with every plush and trying to get better so please, if you’re commissioning me, tell me in a formal way if something bothers you or should be changed and I will see what I can do :)

Please consider that since they’re Sans and only have low health they won’t survive washing machines x)

Okay now that you know about the plushs themselves

let’s talk about some rules :)

-I will work on 2 Sans’ at a time. If you’re planning to get all 3 of them Sanses at     once we can discuss how to deal with it in PM to save shipping costs :)

-I’m still going to school and only do the sewing in my free time, so please don’t rush me. I don’t mind you asking for updates and I want to work close to you so we can make you your own unique plush, but if you’re getting on my nerves it will only slow the progress down

-As said I want to make your plush special, so if you wish for certain details (examples at the end of the rules) please tell me and I will try my best to get it as close to your imagination as possible

-I would prefer sending the plush insured to make sure it comes to your place safely, which however will rise the price. You can ask me privately if you want to know what the shipping costs would be and if you know a cheaper way please feel free to tell me. I’ll send them from Germany :)

Edit:

-I’d prefer PayPal for the payment and if you’re commissioning me I would like a partial payment, means half of the price before I start with your plush and the other half when it’s finished and befor I ship it to your destination.
It’s just to make sure I don’t get tricked, I hope you understand :)

If you want to commission me please take a look in my blog description. I will make sure to update there if commissions are open or closed.


Here are some examples and how updates will look like:

Keep reading

3

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

After dinner you showed Peter to his room and you sat up the air mattress for Felix in your room. Which had all but blew his mind.

‘You’re saying this isn’t magic? Anyone can do this?’ Felix asked.

‘Yes, all you need is the equipment and know how to use it, wanna try it?’ you offered.

Felix sat on the floor next to you and you showed him the button you were holding down to fill the mattress.

He held down the button and tilted his head in confusion.

‘So simple.’

‘Yeah, the machine does all the real work, all you have to do is know how to use it.’ you explained.

‘Alright I think that’s enough.’ you said as you turned the machine off and closed the little air seal.

You placed a blanket and pillow on the air mattress for him.

‘Get some sleep, tomorrow is gonna be a big day.’ you said as you settled in your own bed.

The Next Day

You woke up earlier than usual and started on breakfast. Just a simple scrambled eggs, bacon and toast.

You saw a note on the fridge saying your dad had went to work early since he had a rather demanding client at the moment. So you only made enough for two, you weren’t big on breakfast, only a piece of toast while you scrambled the eggs. 

As you sat the table you heard your bedroom door open.

You look up as Felix comes into the kitchen.

‘Morning.’ he says as he sits.

‘Morning, dig in.’ you said.

After a few minutes Peter came in, and sat sat down, without speaking you noticed.

‘Good morning, I made breakfast.’ you said.

‘I can see that.’ he scoffed as he pulled a plate toward himself and began eating.

‘Would it kill you to be civil, the only one acting like an ass here is you. And the way I see it you should be the one doing the most ass kissing.’ you snapped.

You were tired of Peter being childish.

‘And how do you figure that, because you think you took me in? You’re just my prison guard, I owe you nothing.’ Peter said as he stood up.

‘I don’t need your gratitude, but I won’t tolerate disrespect. Just remember that outside of me, there is absolutely no one in your corner. No magic, no Lost Boys, no shadow.’ you glared.

‘And as for the ass kissing I was referring to Felix.’ you said as you crossed your arms over your chest.

At that Felix’s eyebrows raised.

‘From what I’ve been told, he followed your every demand for centuries in Neverland, and when the other Lost Boys all but handed you over to the Charmings he was the only one who remained faithful. He got on the Jolly Roger against his will. And you paid back his loyalty how?’ you asked.

‘By not hesitating to rip his heart out of his chest? If I hadn’t stopped you he’d be dead and you would feel no remorse whatsoever.’ 

At that Peter’s jaw locked, and he looked anywhere but at you or Felix.

‘Now, until you are ready to apologize I don’t want lip from you. That means no snide remarks, no back talk, no subtle threats, nothing. Do I make myself clear?’ you said firmly.

Peter sat down and began angrily picking at his food.

‘Good, now finish eating, after I take my shower we’re going into town to get you some clothes.’ you said.

As you left you didn’t see that Felix’s eyes following you in amazement. No one, not even Pan, had stood up for him before.

someone: its like one minute you’re depressed and the next you’re acting like you can do anything!
me, a simple borderline: norepinephrine machine broke

Warped Tour 2016 Setlists

If you have a setlist, message me so I can add it. This is just who I’ve been able to find so far.

Against The Current
-Running With The Wild Things
-Runaway
-Wasteland
-Paralyzed
-Young & Relentless
-Gravity

Broadside
-Storyteller
-Come and Go
-Simple Type
-Human Machines
-Playing In Traffic
-Damaged Kids
-Coffee Talk

Cane Hill
-True Love
-Oxblood
-Sunday School
-You’re So Wonderful
-Gemini
-(The New) Jesus
-Time Bimb

Chelsea Grin
-Skin Deep
-Playng With Fire
-Clickbait
-Broken Bonds
-Recreant 
-Cheyne Stokes
-My Damnation

Crown The Empire
-Zero
-The Fallout
-Hologram
-Voices
-Makeshift Chemistry
-Machines

Emarosa
-Miracle
-People Like Me, We Just Don’t Play
-Helpless
-A Hundred Crowns
-Blue
-Mad 
-Cloud 9

Falling In Reverse
-Roling Stone
-I’m Not A Vampire
-Bad Girls Club
-Alone
-The Drug In Me Is You
-Situations (Cover)
-Just Like You

Four Year Strong
-We All Float Down Here
-What The Hell Is A Gigawatt
-Maniac
-Go Down In History
-Find My Way Back
-Who Cares?
-It Must Really Suck To Be Four Year Strong Right Now
-Wasting Time

I See Stars
-Mobbin’ Out
-Ten Thousand Feet
-Filth Friends Unite
-Running With Scissors
-New Demons
-Break 
-Murder Mitten

Ice Nine Kills
-Me, Myself, nnd Hyde
-The Nature Of The Beast
-Let’s Bury The Hatchet…In Your Head
-Bloodbath & Beyond
-Communion Of The Cursed
-Hell In Hallways
-The Coffin Is Moving

In Hearts Wake
-Gaia
-Earthwalker
-Badlands
-Survival
-Skydancer
-Divine
-Breakaway

ISSUES
-Pokemon Theme Song
-Coma
-Flojo
-Young And Dumb
-The Realest
-Mad At Myself
-Blue Wall
-Hooligans

Knuckle Puck
-Disdain
-Fences
-But Why Would You Care?
-Evergreen
-Bedford Falls
-No Good
-Untitled
-Pretense

Less Than Jake(?)
-The Ghost Of You And Me
-Gainesville Rock City
-Automatic
-Good Enough
-The Science Of Selling Yourself Short
-Great American Sharpshooter
-Goodbye Mr. Personality
-Look What Happened
-All My Best Friends Are Metalheads

Masked Intruder
-The Most Beautiful Girl
-25 To Life
-Unrequited love
-I Fought The Law
-How Do I Get To You
-If Only
-Beyond A Shadow Of Doubt
-Hey Girl
-Why Don’t You Love Me In Real Life
-Crime Spree
-Wish You Were Mine
-Stick‘em Up

Mayday Parade
-Jersey
-Keep In Mind, Transmogrification 
-Is A New Technology
-Oh Well, Oh Well
-Black Cat
-Lets Be Honest
-When You See My Friends 
-Jamie All Over

Motionless In White
-Reincarnate
-Devil’s Night
-Abigail
-S70
-Immaculate Misconception
-Break The Cycle

New Found Glory
-Understatement
-Selfless
-All Downhill From Here
-Hit Or Miss
-Ready & Willing
-Failure’s Not Flattering
-Vicious Love
-My Friends Over You

Oceans Ate Alaska
-Fourthirtytwo
-Vultures & Sharks
-Floorboards
-High Horse
-To Catch A Flame
-Clocks

Real Big Fish
-241
-Another F.U. Song
-Beer
-S.R.
-Sell Out
-Take On Me

Real Friends
-Lat Nights In My Car
-I Don’t Love You Anymore
-Skin Deep
-Stay In One Place
-Cold Quicker
-Summer
-Mess
-Loose Ends

Set It Off
-Uncontainable
-Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing
-Forever Stuck In Our Youth
-Bleak December
-Something New
-Ancient History
-The Haunting
-Why Worry

Sleeping With Sirens
-We Like It Loud
-Kick Me
-Do It Now, Remember It Later
-Better Off Dead
-Go Go Go
-If I’m James Dean, You’re Audrey Hepburn
-If You Can’t Hang

State Champs
-Shape Up
-Elevated
-Perfect Score
-Simple Existence
-All You Are Is History
-Remedy
-Losing Myself
-Secrets

The Maine
-English Girls
-Girls Do What They Want
-Diet Soda Society
-Am I Pretty?
-Like We Did
-Everything I Ask For
-Growing Up

The Story So Far
-Heavy Gloom
-Empty Space
-Quicksand
-Nerve
-All Wrong
-Distate
-Solo
-The Glass
-Roam

The Word Alive
-Made This Way
-Sellout
-Face To Face
-Lighthouse
-Life Cycles
-Trapped

Tonight Alive
-To Be Free
-Lonely Girl
-I Defy
-Power Of One
-Drive
-The Edge
-How It Feel

Too Close To Touch
-Pretty Little Thing
-Someday
-The Air In Me
-Hell To Pay
-Sinking So Long
-Nerve Ending

Vanna
-Toxic Pretender
-Year Of The Rat
-Piss Up A Rope
-Pretty Grim
-We Ate The Horse You Rode On
-Holy Hell
-Digging

Volumes
-91367
-The Mixture
-Vahle
-Feels Good
-Erased
-Wormholes

Waterparks
-Mad
-Crave
-Silver
-Pink
-Natural Blue

We The Kings
-Say You Like Me
-Love Again
-I Feel Alive
-Just Keep Breathing
-Skyway Avenue
-Check Yes Juliet

Whitechapel
-Mark Of The Blade
-Elitist Ones
-Our Endless War
-The Saw Is The Law
-Possession
-This Is Exile

With Confidence
-Voldemort
-Tonight
-London Lights
-Higher
-Godzilla
-We’ll Be Okay
-Keeper

Yellowcard
-With You Around
-Lights And Sounds
-Fave Becomes Four
-Way Away
-Breathing
-Only One
-Ocean Avenue

Young Guns
-Bulletproof
-I Want Out 
-Brother In Arms
-Daylight 
-Rising Up
-Winter Kiss
-Bones

3

“WHAT IS A ROBOT?”

I was taking a look into “The EURON Roboethics Roadmap”, a fascinating writeup of the benefits and problems with creating next generation robots.
On the “What is a Robot” section (the text in the pics is ripped from the paper), I couldn’t help but think of Mega Man and how closely it related to the different viewpoints.

I feel like the basic robots are a great example for the thought that robots are simple machines, along with the Reploids for robots being seen as a separate species. There’s a few clashes between the Robot Masters and moral agent one, since they clearly have some sort of mental state and sense of responsibility, but I still think it suits them.

instagram

My little power-hammer is 70 years old this year… I love all these mechanical hammers not that I don’t appreciate the air hammers but the mechanical hammers are such simple and amazing machines … Mine is very temperamental and if it’s too cold or wet she will give me a lot of attitude. But with enough love she runs great… #littlegiantpowerhammer and @iamtessparks cd playing #somedays it took me 3 months to get that CD in the USA but finally have it…❤️

#blacksmith #anvil #metalsmith #powerhammer #blacksmithing #hammer #hammerit #iron #tessparks

Made with Instagram
Minific #10

GUYS GUYS

1000 FOLLOWERS AND THE FIC IS ON TIME (because I wrote it ahead of time)

This one is based on this request, and is as such a combination of two prompts - one by egg anon, one by me.

====

They hoped it’d be worth the investment, but if they really thought about it, they knew they didn’t have any kind of doubt that it was.

It was really a very simple machine, although it was very large. But most of its size came from its enormous, semi-transparent tank; the attached tube and pumping mechanism were only a quarter of its size. The kit had also come with a remote control, with an on/off switch and speed meter, with settings from 1-7.

Keep reading

i’ve been trying to unclog a toilet for seven hours. that’s longer than it took for me to be born. i could have been born twice in the amount of time it’s taken me to fail at unclogging this toilet. 

so the toilet clogged, right? you can use your imagination. it’s like the superhero origin story. we know how it started, show me what happens next. so what happened next was i started to plunge. and plunge, and plunge. and usually i’m pretty good at plunging. i mean, it’s simple, right? it should be one of those simple machines you learn about in school. pulley, crank, lever? right? plunger is like their weird cousin on their dad’s side. anyways the plunger wasn’t working and i started to ask myself, “maybe i’m doing it all wrong, maybe all those other times were flukes and i have no idea how to use a plunger.” so, living in the information age that we do, i searched on my phone, “how to use a plunger” i also had to leave the bathroom to do this because, and you might find this hard to believe, i’ve never in my life used my phone in the bathroom. i just stare straight ahead when i’m in there like a crazy person i guess. i don’t think my phone even knows what bathrooms are. it’s like how your cat doesn’t know what the garage is, or the supermarket, or the ocean. 

anyways i was searching for how to use a plunger and i loaded up this video and i had to watch an ad first. and this is the wonder that is targeted advertising at work, because before i could watch a one minute long video on plungers i had to watch a 20 second long commercial for steak. just like, steak in general. steak as a concept. “hey you freak trapped in the bathroom, why aren’t you buying steaks right now?" 

"steaks can’t help me,” i thought. and then the video started and boy oh boy do i know jack shit about plungers. really? no, i know everything you could ever know about plungers. i was making insightful comments the lady in the video wasn’t even mentioning. like how you should always hold the plunger with toilet paper wrapped around the handle because it’s gross. the gist of the video was, “there’s the stick, the other part, you add the plunge, and it’s a plunger. can you believe steak bought ad space on this?”

so the plunger wasn’t working and i had blisters all over my hands from working it too hard so i gave up. or at least i wanted to. i mean i kind of did. like you know how sometimes you can clog a toilet but it doesn’t look clogged? and you’re like, “it looks fine! it looks fine, but i’m its prisoner. let me go! i pass the curse onto the next person who unknowingly uses you.” i walked out into the living room just to get a feel for what the real world used to be like and i was so done with the toilet i was in super denial about the future of all toilet use in the apartment. “we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,” i thought, “god knows when that’ll be.” but i felt bad, so i called my mom to get her opinion. i didn’t lead with the toilet. i was like, “hey what’s up, anyways i clogged this toilet and i tried to fix it for an hour and i’m tired so i’m just going to leave it for the next person to discover isn’t that great and moral and okay for me to do anyways how are you doing?” but she didn’t think it was great, she told me to go out and buy something to fix it, which is what i was going to do anyways, i just didn’t want to. so i got dressed and walked to the train and the whole time i was like, “i can’t get murdered. i can’t let a clogged toilet be the butterfly effect inciting incident catalyst that ends up with me dying on the pavement.” since you’re reading this now, clearly i made it so i’ll have to save dying over a toilet for some other night.

i got to the store and found what i needed. liquid, gel, drain whatever. the stuff where on the bottle the clog is depicted as this golden honey colored substance like it’s ambrosia, food of the gods, and not literal shit. so i picked that stuff up and also a pint of ice cream. because why not. 

when i got off the train i was kind of in a super panicked rush to get back home. one, because i didn’t leave a note like, “don’t use this even though it looks fine, please read the toilet’s aura first,” and two, because the ice cream was melting. so i ran off the train and, well, okay if you’ve never used the subway before there are two kinds of turnstiles you can exit through, the regular kind that you can probably picture where the bar is right at dick or phone-in-front pocket smashing height, and this other kind that’s like a revolving door only instead of segments divided by glass panels it’s like, metal bars. like a big spinning cage. i got in line behind all these other people and i was in such a blind rush to get through i fucking, i’m cringing as i write this, i fucking followed somebody too closely and got trapped in their segment with them. like literally trapped in a one foot wide space. and you can’t go backwards in those things either it’s just one way, and like i said it’s not a smooth glass panel you can push against, it’s like, bars of a cage. so this lady, she couldn’t even turn around to be like, “the FUCK??” i just kept going, “i’m sorry! i’m sorry!” as we shuffled forward in a weird, torturey, too close conga line formation. 

so i got out and i ran to avoid letting that lady see my face and as i was opening the door to my apartment guess what i heard, guess what i heard. did you guess my roommate flushing the toilet as i was opening the door? because that’s what it was. i’ve spoken to this roommate twice. i said hi when she moved in a month ago, and i explained tonight, through heavy, labored breaths, how i clogged the toilet and ran home to try and fix it before anyone else could find out. i literally ran up to the bathroom door as she was watching the water rise and held up the bottle of drain stuff like it was a bottle of expensive wine i had just pulled out of a paper bag. “let’s celebrate this night. what do you mean you’re going to your boyfriend’s place?”

so, yeah, i was back in the ring with the toilet, but now i had a piece of broken glass hidden in my glove, so to speak. i started to read the instructions on the back of the bottle of drain stuff and it said something like, in case of ingestion, do not induce vomiting, drink a glass of water or milk. which i’m sure makes sense, milk is like, basic or acidic or neutral or something like that, but it just sounds so…culinary. “for a creamier poison control, use warm milk instead of water.” like that’s what you use to neutralize poison when you want to treat yourself. 

so i’m bored with this story that’s been the past seven hours of my life, and i’m sad to say it’s still going on. because the drain stuff didn’t work. and the tank keeps filling up and i was going in there every 15 minutes to check on the water level like a new parent peeking in at their baby in its crib before i just remembered i could turn the water off. i guess i’ll call the super or buy a snake or, i don’t know. i’m eating ice cream right now that was in the same bag as the drain stuff. am i going to die? ice cream is dairy, maybe i’m good. you know this is going to sound like i’m just saying it, but i kind of want steak.