Our feelings are powerful. They have an immense influence on our lives and truly dictate our mindset. There are a multitude of factors hat can change and influence our feelings, yet oftentimes the biggest are our family, God, our environment, and music. It’s true that external forces can have a large impact on how we feel. Therefore, let us work to find the right influences that will allow us to achieve the feeling we are looking for.
??? I am confused, did you come into the wrong place friend??
But for real you make me smile so much, not just because of your wonderful message, but because of the positivity that you embody. No matter how busy your schedule, you make sure to check in on people. On a personal front, you have shown me generosity with your time and indulged me with my questions on GoT. It’s clear and awesome that people love you for what you do too, and you deserve all the positivity that go your way.
Whenever I see you on my dash, whether it’s the crack you post or the insights you provide to your muse, it makes me happy and makes me admire you. And your writing! I love your writing. It’s simple but there’s a beauty and effectiveness in its simplicity, like Jon Snow himself. The more I read and learn about GoT, I more I appreciate how you’ve captured his character.
The fact that you are juggling all this with your studies makes it that much more awesome. Thank you for your existence friend!
So this is my first post that isn’t a stupid text post or overly bright photo of my stationary, so I hope you’ll like it! It will consist of two parts, one for the ios apps and one for google chrome extensions. Feel free to send me recommendations!
bolded = favourite, cursive = apps I use every day
Note taking and co
Pocket - very useful app to save websites, articles, posts etc and read them offline.
Keynote, Pages, Numbers - basics if you have an apple device. I actually like keynote better than powerpoint c:
Notability - Very popular app and it really is worth its money. Great for note taking, especially in class!
Evernote - On my phone for over 4 years now. The group feature is so great and I use it for preparing posts
Werdsmith - very clean and minimalistic app for writing, I use it mainly for creative writing.
Microsoft One Note - Simple app for note taking and making online notebooks.
Leo - a great dictionary in 8 languages. If you log in you can save problem words and make vocabulary lists.
Memrise - My favourite app to learn languages for free. I’m learning Japanese with it!
Duolingo learning languages for free is always fun and duolingo is so easy to use, it’s even more fun! I use it to practice my Spanish.
Forest - Who doesn’t know and love forest yet? It’s such a cute application and I use it when I have a long study day/night ahead.
Brainscape - My to go app for flashcards. It has a giant library and it’s easy to make your own. Honestly, I’ve been using it for 3 years now and I still love it.
Mindly - A very beautiful app to make mind maps. I use it for story ideas and school work.
MindNode - also an easy way to make mind maps.
Uberchord - learn how to play the guitar for free c:
TheSimpleClub - videos, and tutorials of all important school subjects, mainly in German, I think
Notenapp - keep track of your grades - German
Khan Academy - like the simple club but with a broader spectrum and in English.
So you might be an Aries or a Gemini, but that doesn’t mean you have Aries Venus or Gemini Venus. Our Venus sign shows us many things and one of those things is the beauty you have.
BTW the body part ruled by the sign of your Venus is generally the most beautiful part of you!
*Calculate and find your Venus sign to see :)
Aries Venus: Bold beauty. Everything about you seems to stick out. Badass attitude and facial features that stand out in a dominant fiery way. Your assertiveness is admired and deemed beautiful in other’s eyes. One of the hottest next to Leo.
Taurus Venus: A classic beauty that emanates love and stability. You look very earthy of course, it’s a very grounded and lustful beauty to be honest. I guarantee you look like a million bucks if you have this placement.
Gemini Venus: Mischievous and youthful beauty. Your laugh and silly quirks are to die for. Beautiful mind as well. People probably complement you and adore you because you seem so young and childlike. Your beauty lies in your friendliness and capability to converse with anyone.
Cancer Venus: Just damn adorable. Their nurturing and caring vibe they give off is so beautiful to others. You’re the good girl or good guy with a happy smile. Cancer’s emotions show through and give you a sense of motherly care from them to you. Comfortable beauty. Probably have bigger breasts and hips.
Leo Venus: You can see the Leo fierceness in your eyes. A flirty kind of beauty. You attract people with your outgoing attitude towards life. Can be mischievous looking just like Gemini– you both have that look in your eye. Probably really hot.
Virgo Venus: A subtle and soft, cute beauty. This sign represents women, therefore giving you a very womanly appearance. Your eyes are big and clear. It’s beauty that makes you appear shy, but you’re just always humble in your appearance. Your cuteness alone attracts many admirers. Probably ample breasts and hips.
Libra Venus: You have a girly beauty that catches everyone’s eye. A charming type of beauty. Even if you’re a boy with this placement, you might be called the pretty boy (you’re all gorgeous nonetheless). Very feminine beauty with sparkling eyes. Your beauty has a lot of character.
Scorpio Venus: You possess a deep, dark beauty. The beauty in your eyes reflects your deepest thoughts. There’s an edgy look to your beauty. A beauty with depth, that only some people have access to. But it can’t help but show through and be quite mysterious.
Sagittarius Venus: Care free beauty. Your smile and casual way of living shows a simple beauty, but you also are attractive in the way you get wild and adventurous. Independently beautiful. You’re most attractive when you look like you’re having a good time. Your messy hair is attractive. This reminds me of surfers lol
Capricorn Venus: An elegant and classy beauty. Guys who want a respectable gal will love you. You have a mature beauty that never ages. Beautiful in the way you go about life and tend to the workplace and home life. You are admirable and beautiful while you engage in your tasks.
Aquarius Venus: Wide eyed, off beat beauty. Awkward type of beauty that is so cute to onlookers. The way that you are so quirky and talkative attracts people. Your different way of being in itself is so so beautiful and can’t be ignored, in a great way.
Pisces Venus: An ethereal, completely cute and pretty kind of beauty. Eyes that gleam and dream of romance are gorgeous! Social yet a bit shy. Innocent nature is evident and is beautiful. Like Virgo, your cute nature attracts people.
what she means:
marvel took full advantage of the color characterization and editing styles they introduced for each of the four defenders and use the lighting design as an actual sort of intrinsic cast member in this ensemble series and they show qualities of them influencing and conflicting one another by lighting them in each other's colors and it's just it is simple beautiful clever production thank you for that you did good
school is here, i’m shaking with fear, and i’m still queer. but i have been preparing for this school year by finding and organizing apps to help me study that i would love to share. so lets hop right in, shall we?
studying and school
my study life. oh, how i love this app. a perfect way to keep track of tasks, exams, and classes all on your phone. i really hate planning apps but this one is worth checking out. once again, easy to use and is perfect for high school and college students.
quizlet. at this point, we all probably know quizlet quite well as it’s an essential in education these days. quizlet is a lovely flash card app that has saved my spanish grade time and time again. easy to use with a clean execution.
socratic. don’t know an answer? don’t have a review guide to check from? never fear, socratic is here. this beauty scans questions or has you type them in and will give you full length responses explaining answers. they provide multiple different resources from the internet to best explain the answer to you.
photomath. math, our archenemy. well, like socratic, photomath will scan your math problem and give you an answer with an explanation. extremely helpful when you’re stuck and need a bit of help. one unfortunate drawback is that photomath sometimes isn’t able to answer extremely complex math problems, but it is still a savior.
evernote. like quizlet, evernote is another essential. a note taking app in which you are able to leave voice memos, scan documents, draw, etc. once again, very simple and beautiful.
duolingo. i feel like i hardly need to explain this one, but i shall. a simple language learner that takes you section by section through learning a language. a fun app that can be difficult to keep track of sometimes.
memrise. a cute little app that takes language learning slower than duolingo. this app also has sections and is well put together but can be hard to keep track of.
babble. this language learner is a bit different from the rest, it focuses a lot on conversation which is a great idea. the others lean heavily on vocabulary and spelling while this one puts what you learn in real life situations. another well put together app that allows you to skip ahead to the section best suited for your learning. in all, i would recommend having babble and one of the other apps to learn as much as you can: vocab, spelling, speaking, and conversation.
tide. this app is a free one with no ads that sets a timer, plays some white noise for you, and has different, beautiful backgrounds each day. although, this app only has five different sounds but the timer is what we’re really here for. another disappointment is that you can still leave the app and not have your timer be broken which can allow for you to stray from the task at hand.
forest. oh forest, another know one that i just must repeat. this app provides rewards for keeping on track and working hard. each session you set a timer and plant a tree. if you leave the app the tree will die. over time, you’ll begin to plant a forest and receive rewards. the only drawback, it costs two dollars.
other useful apps
motivate. ever in a slump? wanna give up? this app will provide you with quick motivational speeches to get you moving. new videos keep getting uploaded and are a great joy to watch.
h2opal. water. we need it and sometimes we just tend to not drink enough. h2opal is a water tracker that is simple and fun to use. the design is beautiful and the water graphics have kept me entertained for hours. this app shows you whether or not you’re on track for your water consumption and is easy to insert data.
Ames, I love you. I love how smart you are, I love how beautiful you are, I love your face and I love you butt! I love how you pretend to like Die Hard. You’re kind and you’re funny and you’re the best person I know and the best detective…also for realz I love your butt. Amy Santiago, will you marry me?
I reblogged a post by whizkalibra a bit ago saying that one can be good looking without Venus influence.
Then, I saw someone else mention that, by the time astrology started to develop, Venus was associated with beauty in relation to the specific cultural standards of the time and place. Sadly, I can’t find that person’s post, but if someone was kind enough to link me to that person’s commentary/post, I’d be very grateful and happy to give the due credit.
While I wasn’t really on that mindset much, that without Venus influence there can’t be beauty, it got me thinking a bit, especially the commentary from the person I’m not able to source yet.
I started to conceive what types or styles of beauty came from each planetary influence.
This is all entering on my personal perceptions, so anyone is invited to disagree openly and debate this. I’m still learning.
In my opinion, planetary dominance, the houses in which each planet resides, and the ascendant’s influence, weight more into someone’s appearance than the individual signs in which each planet resides.
The planets anyone has in the 1st house are of high importance to the individual’s appearance, much more if they’re conjunct ascendant, and also other planets that aspect the ascendant in the shape of trines and sextiles.
Regarding other planets; take the example of Jupiter. Jupiter “enlarges” things. My figure stems mostly from my mom’s Polynesian family. My mom, sister and others on that side of our family have average or somewhat small boobs. Well, guess whomst hast Jupiter in the house of the titties the 4th house; this binch who has dysphoria (RIP me).
Before I go on to describe how, to me, planets and ascendant signs affect someone’s appearance, there’s a few things I’d like to clarify:
~ I will not address this subject from the viewpoint of gender essentialism. There’ll be no use of explicitly gendered language or anything alike.
~ I don’t see this as “people with this placement are short”, I see it more as “people with this placement can be short, appear shorter than they actually are, or be short compared to their (biological) families”.
~ There’s a tendency to categorize features in racialized ways, like associating racialized features with “harshness”, of (de)sexualizing racialized features, or forcibly assigning masculinity/
to certain racialized features. I aim to combat that.
With all that said, let’s go onto the (hopefully) interesting part! Just keep in mind that these descriptions come from the sources I’ve been exposed to + my observations of the people around me.
Sun dominance ☀ | Leo rising
These people embody the concept of “radiant beauty”. They’re the kind of people who light up a room when they smile or laugh, they tend to have eyes that are not that big, and that laugh on their own, with round cheeks that pop up with the tiniest bit of a chuckle, even if the face is thin.
Many have something about their hair that makes it stick out from their overall appearances. You cannot help but notice their sudden presence even if they’re not doing anything special to get anyone’s attention (Which is a burden for the ones that are shy or socially anxious). People, quite literally, gravitate around them one way or another.
They have very broad smiles, even when their mouths are small. The eyebrows tend to be arched in a graceful way, and like Arian risings/Mars dominant people, there’s sparks in their eyes, but softer than their Martian siblings.
Moon dominance ☽ | Cancer rising
Their type of beauty is radiant too, like Solarian people, but in a more subtle or silent way. It’s a radiance that shines through the night; softly, tenderly, but it’s still the only light you see regardless.
These people are known for having rounder faces or rounder features. Their smiles aren’t as broad and loud as Solarians, but somehow their pouty smiles still catch your attention. I’ve noticed that while Cancerian/Lunar hair isn’t necessarily big or flashy, it always looks soft.
They give angelic or peaceful vibes, and seem to have soft bodies. There’s something mellow about them. Like other water rising or ruled people, their eyes stick out tremendously. They tend to be big, and very “watery”, many times they’re hooded or deep-set. They don’t carry their hearts on their sleeve, they carry their hearts in their eyes, and an ocean too.
Mercury dominance ☿ | Gemini or Virgo rising
Mercurian people have youthful looks. Not in that they don’t age, in the way that you may look at an elderly person, but see them laugh, move and talk like a child. Their bodies may be old, but their minds and spirits are blissfully childish, the curiosity children are born with never left them.
If their Mercurian influence is more on the Gemini side, they’ll feel a bit bohemian, and like they’re “jumpy”. They’re not exactly restless like fire risings, but still seem like they’re always moving – even when they’re not at all.
If the Mercurian influence is more on the Virgo side, they’ll look more serious than their airy counterparts. They look put together and modest, and their eyes seem like they’re staring at everything around them to analyze it and learn about it. Geminis have the beauty of mischievous fae, Virgos of scholarly elves.
Venus dominance ♀ | Taurus or Libra rising
Venusian people/risings always have something “pleasant” about them, or some sort of grace in the way they move. They move somewhat slow, as Taurus is lethargic and Libra indecisive, but they somehow manage to imprint beauty on that even if they’re just wearing pajamas. They still manage to make it elegant.
The Taurean Venusian is more sensual and has a more tangible sort of grace; you can pin down easily that it simply looks pleasant to the eye, like with flowers. The Libran Venusian is more ethereal, you can’t quite put into words what it is that makes them so delicate, but it’s there.
Unless there’s planets or signs such as Scorpio/Pluto or Aries/Mars giving significant influence, the Venusian stare is soft, although it’s not less calculating than those of their sister signs/planets.
Mars dominance ♂ | Aries rising
People with strong Aries or Martian influence (sometimes Scorpian) have the beauty of a warrior. Their beauty can be intimidating or strong, at times coarse, and like I mentioned before, they spark. They look like they’re set ablaze.
They expel energy and passion with every breath they give. Their movements can be very well calculated, like a military tactician, or clumsy, like an impulse-ridden fighter; what all these people share is that they hardly ever move slowly.
Their beauty is about as loud as the beauty of Solarians/Leonians, but a lot less meant to attract (even if it does too), and much more meant to strike. Like Mercurian or Gemini-heavy people, they look youthful when this energy comes from Aries instead of Scorpio, but reminiscing a child that you can’t get to go to bed.
Jupiter dominance ♃ | Sagittarius rising
The symbol of Sagittarius is an arrow, and like arrows, a good word to describe the looks of Jupiterian/Sagittarian people, is “sharp”. They tend to have angular or pointier features, elongated features too, especially the nose and facial frame. Those who draw their Jupiterian energy from Pisces have less pointy shapes, but retain the elongated qualities. There’s a tendency to be taller.
The world is a bundle of open adventures to them, and they reflect their awe and thirst for experience in their expressions and movements. Everything seems to fascinate them, and they feel no need to hide it. Their movements appear as if they were trying to “touch” things, to reach out to the world that surrounds them.
Their laughs are thunderous, yet, even when they startle you, they don’t bother you. It’s an endearing laugh. Unlike Martians and Mercurians, they tend to look somewhat older than they are, they have an air of powerful and jovial wisdom.
Saturn dominance ♄ | Capricorn rising
Like Jupiterians, Saturnines have an appearance that denotes wisdom, but it’s a much heavier type of wisdom, as opposed to the jovial Jupiterian wisdom.
Their eyes, like sometimes Plutonian eyes too, don’t reflect much light, almost as if they were dry. The titan Saturn/Cronus is the devourer, and indeed, Saturnines/Capricorn risings tend to have bigger mouths, even when the lips are thin, and their cheeks many times are hollow. They have a preference for more conservative, timeless looks.
There’s a particular type of silent strength with these people; they carry
elder wisdom, but do so with such calm and grace that it’s admirable. This is a mature, discrete and simple beauty! However, this beauty gets less traditional or more defying when the Saturnine airs come from Aquarius instead of Capricorn.
Uranus dominance ♅ | Aquarius rising
Uranus is the planet of rebellion, so it’s to be expected for these people to have unique and quirky styles of beauty. They enjoy disruption, which isn’t something necessarily violent! Just something that breaks the mold.
These people tend to have “contradictory” features; such as highly angular sharp features paired with a soft set of eyes. I’ve noticed that many have sharply pointed and narrow noses. Their stares are always inquisitive, they appear to be scanning you for information at all times, but not in an intimidating way (Scorpio) or in a criticizing way (Virgo).
They are like the sky; they look distant, but not for a lack of interest, it’s the complete opposite of that – they want to watch over and see how the world plays out in front of their eyes, to learn and internalize from it, from you and me.
Neptune dominance ♆ | Pisces rising
The thing that really sets Neptunians/Pisceans apart from Lunarians/Cancerians, is that the former seem so lost in a far away space, so dreamy and sleepy, that their watery expressiveness is much more aloof, blurry and fuzzy.
They have something soft to them as well, but the style is more slippery. They glitter beautifully, but like a fish, if you try to touch them, they’ll dodge. Neptunian/Piscean beauty looks like it comes from a far away fantasy world, full of romance and magic. They have very glossy eyes, however, there’s not an inclination for them to be big as there’s with Lunarians/Cancerians.
They instinctively pull their stare away from yours when the two meet. They move indecisively, but steadily, like a changing river. They have the beauty of sleep in themselves, and, like Taureans, often move slowly. It’s to be expected from the two signs that surround the restless Aries!
Pluto dominance ♇ | Scorpio rising
Plutonian/Scorpian people are (in)famous for one thing about their appearance; their intense, penetrating, piercing eyes, you name it. According to my experience, most of these people can go from their eyes looking entirely opaque, to looking extremely watery from one second to another. Their eyes are usually sharp or almond shaped, up-pointing.
There’s something alluring about them, or that might even look dangerous. They ooze sexuality, not in an obvious way usually; it’s an air of underlying passion that can only be unleashed within intimacy.
They’re both silent and loud; despite their silence and compulsive privacy, they still attract the sights of others like a magnet, many times against their own efforts. The Plutonian/Scorpian beauty is deadly, it stings and intoxicates, but it also mesmerizes you.
Sometimes the most beautiful things in life exist within the unknown. They remain discrete, unseen, and often unnoticed. So take your courage, and allow for it to accompany you into this unknown. Travel to the unchartered lands of your life, and discover this beauty that exists.
BTS scenarios: Cheering him up when he feels self-conscious
There was something different about Jin that day. He wasn’t his usual bubbly self but quiet, almost invisible, ghost of Kim Seokjin. He didn’t try to make you laugh during breakfast when you were drinking tea. It worried you, but at the same time you didn’t want to be nosy. You knew damn well how easy it was to set him off when he was visibly stressed. Limited on choices you decided to wait for him to show signs that he wanted comfort from you.
Good thing it was the day you tagged along for another show. You could watch Jin’s lack of interaction with other people. Every time somebody pointed that out he just laughed blaming his fatigue. Of course he was tired but neither you nor his bandmates believed it to be the reason behind his blank face.
You stood by the wall, observing everyone move around. Minutes passed in a rush and your head started to spin at the thick atmosphere. Thankfully the stylist asked you to help Jin with his collar and tie. You walked close to him and instantly grabbed at the material with delicacy. While shifting the cables to his microphone you realized that Seokjin avoided looking at you. At first dark thoughts clouded your mind, but you pushed them aside with all your strength.
“Is the wire bothering you anywhere?” Although you let go of his collar, you stayed still in close proximity to him.
At the question he finally looked at you. Your eyes met for a short moment before his gaze moved somewhere to your right. He shook his head faintly without moving any other part of his body. You sighed and grabbed his shoulders to shake him a bit. Jin gave you a weird glance as he tried to pull out of your grip.
Although it hurt, you didn’t let go of him. You were awkwardly struggling with each other for a longer moment until you decided it was really enough.
“Now, is it bothering you anywhere?” You asked once more. Again, he shook his head, but this time his eyes remained on you.
You smiled faintly and tied his tie. When done, your index finger trailed up the fabric to stab his chin playfully. He was more confused than amused by your behavior yet he kept his mouth shut. Unfortunately for him you weren’t the one to give up on Jin.
“Oh, here’s a thing I forgot to give you!” You exclaimed after an idea formed in your brain.
He observed your hand as you hid it in inside pocket of your jean jacket. You searched for a few seconds until you pulled out fingers shaped in heart. Your eyes were hungrily tracking his reaction.
A quiet snort left his nostrils and Jin finally smiled for real at you. You returned a five times wider one and put the finger heart in the small pocket on his chest. The action had expected result. Your boyfriend relaxed enough to look you deep in the eyes. Encouraged by his positive response you dared to approach him close enough for you to lay your forearms on his chest. Your hands smoothed the material as you looked up from it with the gentlest expression you could make.
“I’m glad you accepted my heart.”
“It would be hard not to.”
“Did I tell you already that you look really handsome in that suit or was I screaming it in my mind this whole time?”
His smile widened even more at that. His eyes moved down to look at his right hand that hung in the air. You grabbed it along with the left one without losing sight of his face and brought them up so you could kiss each one of his fingers. Jin’s eyes followed your lips hungrily taking in your adoration for his least favourite part of his body. When you finished his glance returned to meet yours. Jin let his hands hold your cheeks so he could kiss you properly.
“Can you do one thing for me when on the stage?” You asked when he pulled away.
“Anything.” He smiled with pure adoration.
“When you’ll be singing your solo, can you take out the heart so I know you still have it? I want a close shot at you.”
Jin gave you a weird glance but nodded lively.
Yoongi disliked doing anything and it was a well-known fact. Not only you and his closest coworkers had an idea but also his fans were aware of that so-called hobby of his. That’s why you didn’t make a big deal out of his stay in bed. At least at first. You got worried when the bedroom door remained closed at 2 p.m. and frantic when nothing changed an hour later. Aware that he was probably hungry by that time, you prepared breakfast and decided to go to him. You tip toed to the doors and turned the doorknob carefully.
It was weird to act this way in the middle of the day, but the dread that hid in you made you act carefully. Firstly, only your head leaned out. Room was dark as the curtains blocked the daylight. Still you could see Yoongi’s body resting under covers. You listened for a moment but when steady breathing didn’t reach your ears you risked walking inside. You moved to his side of bed and sat on it’s edge, centimeters from your boyfriend. Then you put kitchenware on his night stand and turned to him. He laid on his side facing wall on yours. Aware of how easily one could annoy half-asleep Yoongi you hesitated before laying fingers on his arm. You stroked it gently then leaned froward to look at his face.
You were surprised to find him awake and shocked to see how puffy and red his face was. Dry paths of tears glistened on his cheeks and nose. If it wasn’t enough, his lower lip was bleeding probably from biting on it. Your other hand bushed his fringe to reveal his eyes, but he stubbornly kept them away from you. Through the whole process of you finding out about his miserable state he didn’t make a single movement to acknowledge your presence. Almost as if you weren’t there.
“Yoongi…” You whispered shaken by his state.
He ignored you although he heard you for sure. A memory of his voice telling you to leave him alone resurfaced in your mind. But you weren’t able to leave him alone in his misery. He could lash out at you at any moment. Your mind kept repeating the same sentence over and over again yet your body was deaf to it. Carefully you changed position so your knee was touching his back while you could still look at his face.
Afraid of his motionless state you called him again but more quiet. Once more he didn’t answer. His eyes remained glued to the wall on the other end of the room. You felt your own blood turn cold when his lids moved but he just blinked.
“I made you breakfast.” Your lips ghosted above his arm as you told him. “You must be hungry.”
He remained as he was. You knew that you wouldn’t get more and moved up after kissing his skin softly. Your walk to the door was interrupted when you heard him finally move under covers. You turned around to find him staring back. His face was blank but you smiled nonetheless.
“I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me.”
Yoongi let you leave him alone although he wanted you to stay with him. He needed your comforting words and warmth of your body to make him feel better. Yet he couldn’t find strength in himself to ask that of you. After a couple of minutes he looked to his left and grabbed the plate you left there. He knew that it had taken you a lot of time to prepare. Considering how pancakes were cut to resemble a head. Most likely his head. He judged from the pierced ears. Around the head laid rays of sunshine. The whole work looked like breakfast for a child not a grown-ass man like Yoongi. But he thought it was cute anyway and grabbed one of the stripes to bite it.
He only realized that he was really hungry when he finished the whole plate. Aware of his loneliness he dared to lick the powdered sugar off it. When he put the plate back, door opened to reveal you with victorious smile on your face. You strode over to the bed and sat in front of him.
“Now that you ate enough sugar, can you come out and spend the day with me?” You asked.
Yoongi’s eyes fell down to stare at his lap. His hands ran up his face and he let out a loud sigh. You were afraid to push him too much but then you noticed a bit of sugar on the top of his nose. Your finger wiped it off and transported it to your mouth. You licked off the sweetness meanwhile smiling at his surprised face.
“I’ve been blessed with the sugar off the sweetest man on Earth.”
His face softened, your most beloved expression replacing the previous one. His hand caught yours and gripped on it tightly. No words needed.
so the trailer for miss hokusai advertised one type of
movie, and then the actual movie was …. something else entirely. but the
trailer gave me ideas, so here they
there is girl –
there is woman –
there is a young woman, an old girl, and she has the eyes of
youth but the weight upon her shoulders is that of age. or perhaps it is the
other way around. perhaps she has the eyes of age, but upon her shoulder is the
weightlessness of youth, of ignorance.
there she is, whatever she is.
her name is kana.
she is the daughter of a famous painter, known as juro. he
is a man larger than life, and he paints wonderful things. he takes what is
ugly, and makes it beautiful. he paints an unhandsome woman as a goddess, a
sneering merchant as a king, a dirty city as a glowing capitol. he leaves all
he touches brighter than it was found.
kana is not like her father.
she is a painter, but she is not famous. she has a mother
she doesn’t speak to, and younger sister she visits as much as she can. she has
pushed them both aside to follow her father, to sit with him in dirty shacks
putting ink to paper as she does her best to make beautiful things. she throws
off the expectations of her gender, of her station, of anything and everything
in her pursuit to be a master painter.
technique is easy. she completes half of her father’s
painting while he drinks, while he whores, while he seduces lords and ladies,
while he paints empty things for empty people, while he leaves her alone in
their dirty shacks. she can do the detail work, has a steady hand and a sharp
eye, but when it comes to the whole picture – it is left lacking.
“her work lacks your beauty,” an old man says, talking to
her old father while she kneels in the corner, ink staining her hands, the
floor, ink just – staining.
“of course it does,” her father says, offhand. “how can she
paint what she does not know?”
kana never expected lack of knowledge to be her downfall.
so that night when her father is gone, she does not stay in
to work. instead kana paints her face, wears a kimono that’s too small on her,
and goes to the worst part of the city, to where the alleyways and walls are
stained red by the glow of the lanterns.