That mini panic attack you have when your youngest adoptive son comes to visit you while your oldest son is already there and you know they are having a feud

And after it rains
There’s a rainbow
And all of the colors are black
It’s not that the colors aren’t there
It’s just imagination they lack
-Simon & Garfunkel, “My Little Town”

There’s a lovely watercolor rainbow under that layer of black watercolor… Written with a white Sharpie water-based paint pen.

Sweet Distractions (Day 2: Valentine’s Chocolate)

So, this is kind of late, and I’m sorry! But better late than never, right? Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this!

This is for @carryon-valentines

Summary: Penny goes out of town. Simon misses her, so Baz tries to take Simon’s mind off her. (Forgive me, I’m bad at summaries.)

Word Count: 729 

Warnings: None. 

For once, Penny wasn’t going to be complaining about Simon and Baz’s flirting. That Valentine’s day she was going to be visiting Micah. Simon was upset that she was leaving, but she told him, “Just consider it a Valentine’s Day gift. You and Baz get the whole flat to yourselves! But stay out of my room.”

She left two days before Valentine’s Day, and for two days Simon was all alone in his flat.

It felt more like two years than two days when Valentine’s Day finally arrived. Penny wouldn’t be back until Friday, but Valentine’s Day meant Baz.

Simon had never been more excited to go out. They spent that Valentine’s Day at a fancy restaurant eating overpriced food and ignoring stares from people who either thought they were another adorable couple or a disgusting pair, and then at Simon’s flat getting drunk and trading kisses.

It was the best Valentine’s Day Simon had ever had. Baz’s flat wasn’t too far away from Simon’s, but Simon had still missed him nearly as much as he was missing Penny.

On Valentine’s Day, kisses and hugs had been enough to distract him from her absence, but now it was February 15th, and he missed Penny like crazy. Fortunately, February 15th was no ordinary day. It was the official start of discount chocolate sales. Baz didn’t like seeing Simon upset, so, as a distraction, he suggested they go out and buy chocolate. With little protest, Simon got up and they made their way to the store.

Baz and Simon both had a sweet tooth. Still, two shopping carts full of old Valentine’s Day chocolate was a little excessive. They settled on three bags, one of which they ate on their way back home.

Simon and Baz ate their remaining candy until they were stuffed. They eventually ended up on the couch cuddling, and Baz taking advantage of the fact that Penny wasn’t there to complain about their flirting.
“I love you more than cherry scones,” Simon whispered jokingly into Baz’s ear. Baz tried not to smile. “I’m glad,” he replied before kissing Simon’s cheek. “I didn’t want to be eaten.”

“Who said I wasn’t going to eat you?” Simon asked, tilting his head. Baz rolled his eyes. “Cannibalism is generally frowned upon, Snow. Besides, aren’t you full?”

Simon smirked before licking chocolate off Baz’s cheek. “Nope.”

Baz sighed. “Really?” he asked furrowing his eyebrows.

“You’re sweet,” Simon told him.

“No, you’re sweet, and it’s rubbing off on me,” Baz told him, as he wiped chocolate from the corner of Simon’s mouth with his thumb.

Simon squinted at him. “Only you can sound annoyed while complimenting someone.”

“Who said I was complimenting you,” Baz asked, raising an eyebrow. “That was a complaint. You’re sweetness is rubbing off and getting all over me. You’re ruining my image. No one wants to see a sweet, blood-sucking monster, Snow.”

Simon smiled. “Good thing you aren’t a monster then, huh?” he said before kissing Baz. Baz wanted to argue, he always did, but it was Valentine’s Day, or the day after anyway. It was an argument for another time. Instead, Baz kissed his boyfriend slowly and savored the warmth of his lips. Baz thought they tasted like chocolate and mint; he was sure his lips did as well. Simon’s sweetness really was rubbing off on him. Baz was thankful for that. Simon deserved all the sweetness that the world had to offer.

Simon pulled away slowly. His eyes were sleepy and full of everything Baz could ever ask for. Their lips were still so close, their noses were touching, and all Baz wanted was to kiss him again. Before he could, Simon asked, “Could you call me Simon today?”

Baz sighed. Simon. Simon, the boy of his dreams, didn’t hate him anymore. That on its own was incredible. But now he was holding Baz in his arms, looking into his eyes, and asking him to call him by his first name. Baz thought he might cry. He didn’t. If Simon wasn’t going to be sad about Penny, Baz wasn’t going to start crying about Simon’s name. His beautiful name.

Instead, he replied, “Your kisses are going to give me diabetes, Simon.”

“That’s more like it,” Simon said before kissing Baz again. It looked like kisses were going to be enough to distract Simon again after all.


Due to my urban tastes, people often mistakenly label me as a “city slicker” or “yuppie” or “sex god.” I can’t entirely blame them, with an appearance that is some blend of Ivy League professor and Connery-era Bond. Well, my dressing is. My face is some sort of combination of Keanu Reeves and Vin Diesel. I’m not a handsome man.

However, these assumptions are far from the truth. I actually grew up in a small town of 900 or so, north of St Joseph, Mo. As a matter of fact, St Joe was the “city” that you had to drive to for damn near everything. Cheese burger? Summer job at Burger King? Wal-Mart? Movie? Hospital? Drive a half-hour to St Joe.

The small town experience has its perks. I had mostly the same classmates K-12, my classes were small, I wrestled varsity despite being 2-20, and I had the opportunity to wander my hometown with friends independently. I think that youthful autonomy is lacking in many of today’s kids. I also think living away from anything close to civilization encourages ambition. The “I wonder what’s out there?” motivation.

But, by and large, growing up in rural Missouri sucked. The people were very religious, prejudiced, and nepotistic. The school was under-resourced and staffed with alumni who were severely unqualified. To say the town was poor was an understatement. To say it was out of time was accurate. To say I have an irrational resentment of my hometown is also accurate.

The population is down to around 800-850 now and I haven’t been back in 5-7 years. I didn’t attend my reunion and have stayed in touch with very few of my Trump-supporting classmates. Even though it was released before my existence, Paul and Art nail the feeling of escaping small town USA with “My Little Town.”