now that the episode is public, smth Really Important to me from the latest ep:

so like. caboose actively seeking simmons out and keeping him company? and talking abt church and asking about grif when simmons gets sad? is literally all i ever needed. Ever

they’re both against splitting up in the first place, so caboose seeks simmons out so they can keep each other company and “split up together” which is so good. and then they have a whole convo abt death and ghosts and simmons treats cabooses ideas (people turning into ghosts, specifically bc u care about them) as actual theories and debates them which is So Good.

they both lost their best friends and they both know what the other person is goin thru and im just. so emotional. the friendship we need and deserve honestly

Red vs blue characters as quotes from ‘History of the entire world, i guess’
Red Team : Go with the flow
Sarge : I wanna invent time and space and I know its possible
Simmons : Fuck you, obay the law
Grif : Nope, cant walk yet and there’s no food so I dont care
Donut : Some stars burn out and die with PASSION
Lopez : That bullshit, said Portugal spiceless
Doc : Guess who’s not gone

Blue Team : Wow it broke apart but don’t worry it does that all the time
Leonard Church : It has secret instructions inside itself telling it how to build another one of itself
Caboose : It’s sad, I’m sad, I miss you
Tucker : You can make a religion out of this
Sister : Do you sin?

Freelancers : Woops half of europe just died
Carolina : No, don’t
Washington : No. Accualy okay sure
Tex : (s)He was great and now (s)he’s dead
York : Quarks and stuff
North : Wanna get enlightened in the middle of nowhere?
South : Yes I do accualy want to do that
CT : I wanna be something do something. I want things to change
Maine : Fuck it. I control the food now
Wyoming : Hello? Yes it the 1920s calling
Florida : He sat under a tree for so long he figured out how ignore the fact that we are all dying

AI’s
Vic : Gnarly space ingredients
FILISS : Many different types of machines
Omega : Technology is about to go crazy
Sigma : We gotta start pillaging some stuff
Delta : why didn’t we think of this before
Gamma : Prankd
Theta : Coming soon to a dank river valley near you

People from the chours trilogy and sharkface
Kimball : Lets over throw the palace and cut all their heads off
Doyle : Get the hell out of here. Will you get the hell out of here if I give you 500 elephants okay thanks bye
Grey : Wait!, said Christopher Columbus, probably smoking crack
Felix and Locus : The horse nomads run wild and free and they would like to ransack your city
Sharkface : Something’s alive in the ocean

  • Sarge: So. Who broke it? I’m not mad. I just want to know.
  • Simmons: I did. I broke it...
  • Sarge: No. No, you didn’t. Tucker.
  • Tucker: Don’t look at me. Look at Grif.
  • Grif: What?! I didn’t break it.
  • Tucker: Huh. That’s weird. How did you even know it was broken?
  • Grif: Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken!
  • Tucker: Suspicious.
  • Grif: No, it’s not!
  • Church: If it matters, probably not... Donut was the last one to use it.
  • Donut: Liar! I don’t even drink that crap!
  • Church: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
  • Donut: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Church!
  • Simmons: Alright let’s not fight. I broke it, let me pay for it, Sarge.
  • Sarge: No. Who broke it?
  • Donut, whispering: Sarge, Doc's been awfully quiet…
  • Doc: Really?!
  • Donut: Yeah, really!
  • ...
  • Sarge: I broke it. Caboose burned his hand so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now, they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.