silly wars

Incorrect BATB Quotes: Part 1

Gaston: So, can I marry your daughter?

Maurice: Stars, can’t do it. Not today.

After Gaston leaves LeFou under Cadenza

LeFou: Oh look at that, I’ve been impaled.

Beast/Adam: I’ve heard this lesson before.

Lumiere: You haven’t learned anything.

During the battle at the castle

Cogsworth: YOU. SHALL. NOT. PASS.

Right after the curse is broken

Villagers: I forgot he was our prince.

Mr. Potts: We are so sorry we tried to kill you.

LeFou: (sobbing) I was just doing what Gaston told me!

Adam: Tut, Tut. As your merciful prince, I hereby decree that everyone who tried to murder me shall be…executed.

Maurice: Oh my land.

Belle: This place just got interesting.

I keep seeing these silly posts comparing Anakin and Satine with the tags “obi-wan has a type” and let me just give you this mental image, friends:

obi-wan and padme have the same type.

au where padme survived and she and obi-wan run off and raise the twins, the two of them are out shopping for supplies and they run into a random hot powerful blonde who is throwing a temper tantrum, and they both make the same ‘mmmmm’ sound

then they look at each other with complete and utter horror as the realization kicks in.

Silly headcanon

Kallus didn’t expect to be adopted by Captain Syndulla. He thought it was just a joke between some of the rebellion soldiers. Then in middle of a space fight

Hera : Okay kids. Let get ready, everyone at there station

Kallus : *blink seeing Zeb, Sabine and Ezra getting in motion* Did she just call us…

Zeb : Yep.

Kallus : She realise that you and I are older that her and Kanan?

Zeb : Yep.

Kallus : But…

Zeb: *Grab his arm* Trust me it ways easier to just accept it that try to convince her otherwise. 

norcumi  asked:

Silly prompt! Obi/Rex, clothes swap/sharing, please?

Obi-Wan is a… bit surprised when, instead of going through his walk towards work totally unseen, as always, he gets… looks. Smiles, and nods, and glares and eyes not meeting is, good looks and bad looks all mixed…

But still. Looks. When normally people are always happy to act as if they are alone on the street, crossing gaze something the average person will avoid at all costs.

It’s when he hears ‘Good day to you, officer’ that he realises why.


Rex walks into the precinct and, immediately, Windu descends on him like the plague. He hasn’t even had his first coffee, why him.

“Fett, can I know what in the fucking hells you are wearing ?!”

Rex is very, very surprised because of all the questions he was expecting, this one doesn’t even make the top hundred cut.
He looks down, expecting to see nothing else but his uniform… and is faced with a blue and white plaid shirt instead of the police-blue one.
Oh fuck.


While lazing around in bed, kissing and letting things heat up in the morning is a very good thing, doing so on a work day was not smart and both Rex and Obi-Wan literally jumped into their clothes and ran to work.
It’s a testament to their panic at the idea of being late (School director Yoda and Captain Mace Windu are two different kind of terrifying but still. Terrifying.) that none of them noticed they had grabbed the other’s shirt.

Sure, Rex’s was a little too tight, but that was starched clothes for you, and Obi-Wan liked his clothes to be comfy, he did not notice that it was quite in the ‘too big’ category until too late.


Rex glares at his partner.
“Not a word. I spilled coffee on mine, I was lucky enough to have a vaguely blue shirt in my car.”
Right.” snorts Skywalker. “Must have been there since you were a teenager, given how small it is.”
“…Shrunk down in the machine.”
Of course.”

Anakin looks like he’s about to let the matter drops when Obi-Wan almost runs inside the police station, looking around with wild eyes… wearing Rex’s uniform.
And, fuck, that does things to Rex. How likely is he to be caught if he just kidnaps his boyfriend and doesn’t let him leave their bedroom for the day ?

“Oh, looks like the laundry does delivery service.” snarks Anakin.

Rex will kidnap Obi-Wan.
But first, he’s killing his partner.

fic i probably should write

Luke dies in his fight with the Emperor before Vader has a chance to save him.

This breaks Vader, to the point where he just fucking leaves the Empire and goes off to find Leia “there is another” Organa and what remains of the Rebellion. 

And he shows up on Leia’s doorstep, to which Leia shoots him immediately. “Okay that’s fair,” he says, wheezing and holding his wired shoulder in pain.

“What do you want?” she says, this time aiming the blaster at his head. “Answer quickly.”

He tosses her Luke’s lightsaber. “This should belong to you. He would want you to have it.” He coughs, “And I want to join the Rebellion.”

Leia lowers her gun very carefully. “Explain.”

“What is there to explain?” Vader stands fully, towering over Leia. “He killed my son. I want the Emperor dead. At this point, I no longer care what government replaces him so long as the man who murdered my son is dead.”

Leia thinks I can work with that.

So you have Leia here steadfastly ignoring Obi-Wan and Yoda’s ghosts who follow her around spouting Jedi nonsense, of which she refuses to listen to unless they let her talk to Luke, who instead turns to Darth Vader to learn the ways of the Force. “Lost, all hope is” except it isn’t.

Because you have Darth “Probably Not A Dark Sider Anymore But Also Wouldn’t Call Him a Jedi” Vader and Leia “Anger Is My Middle Name But I’m Also Firmly In the Light” Organa teaming up and wrecking havok on literally everything. Seriously, there are whole planets on fire.

Vader teaches Leia the Force, and they never bring up the fact that they are related if they can help it (which means, inevitably, that they end up talking about it occasionally: “You look like your mother,” “…What was she like?” v. “I see now why Obi-Wan didn’t train you. You couldn’t be more my daughter if you tried. Poor Bail…I can only imagine what you were like as a child.” with Leia sputtering “HOW DARE”).

 meanwhile Han Solo is following them holding a baby Ben (who, I imagine, is now named Luke) going “guys? guys? i don’t understand. why is darth vader here. leia why haven’t you shot him. leia can I shoot him? leia we should probably not set this planet on fir–okay, so we’re setting this place on fire. cool cool cool”

in the afterlife, Obi-Wan and Yoda are mourning about how ALL IS LOST while Padme and Luke are drinking mimosas and laughing because they knew there was good there all along.

Every time little Ben Solo puts his hands somewhere he shouldn’t, Luke trolls him with a “that’s how I lost my hand” story.

“Ben, get your hand out of that cookie jar, that’s the one that ate my hand.”

“Ben, don’t pick your nose, I lost my hand doing that.”

and they get more and more ridiculous, like

“Ben, don’t play in the laundry pile.” *looks off into the distance* “I made that mistake once…”

Ben doesn’t know what actually happened to Uncle Luke’s hand until he’s like eight.

shadow-spires  asked:

For the silly prompts: codywan, cuddling for warmth? Thank you!!!

Melo-za is a planet with mild temperatures during the days… and freezing nights. Thankfully, it will not be the first time they are forced to sleep in such terrible conditions and the 212th has plans in place to prevent anyone from dying of hypothermia, or even just waking with frostbite, in those cases.

The officers all sleep in the same tent, sleeping gear thrown onto the impervious tarp making up the ground, until not even the cold can seep through, then cuddling close to each other in their blacks, heat turned up, under the covers. The men are bunking up in the same fashion, only a fourth of the actual tents pulled up, to group them until it’s almost too hot in there.

Cody is falling asleep when Boil yawns.

“Is the General taking first watch ?”
Cody frowns at the question. “No, that’s Geode and Trip’s squads.”
“Then where is he ? Not sleeping alone in that cold, is he ?”

Cody realises that… he actually doesn’t know. And that would just be General Kenobi, wouldn’t it ?
He gets up with a shiver and leaves the tent, scowling when he sees that there is still light in the Command center.


Obi-Wan’s eyes widen as he takes on the sight of Cody, blacks slightly dusted with frost and shivering, as the Commander glares at him.

“Cody, what are you doing, you’re going to freeze to death !”

He manhandles the clone next to the heater set up near his untouched bunk, sitting him on it and taking the covers off to drape them around Cody’s shoulders.

“Well, I wouldn’t have had to get out, in my blacks, in the cold, if someone had been sleeping instead of burning the midnight oil.”
Obi-Wan huffs.
“It’s not that late, and…”
“Sir. It’s almost one a.m. local time and around three a.m. on the ship’s night cycle we’re still accustomed to. It’s late.

Obi-Wan sighs. “It’s… a bit too nippy for me to sleep comfortably, even with the heater. I have no desire to wake up frozen solid, or even just sore, cold and grumpy.”
“Which is why all of us have quadrupled the usual numbers for the sleeping arrangements, to stay warm, and why I assumed you were in one of the tents.”

Obi-Wan shakes his head. He knew, of course, but sleeping among brothers, and sleeping with your General in a pile aren’t quite the same thing, and he would not intrude…
Cody must read his mind, because the clone growls and moves.

With a yelp, Obi-Wan goes from seated next to his Commander to sprawled on his back on the bed, Cody pressed against his side, arms around his shoulders and the cover above them.

“Cody ?” he says -he doesn’t squeak, that would be undignified, “What are you doing ?”
Sleeping, sir.” is the growled answer. “And making sure you do as well.”

It’s useless, arguing with Cody when he’s in that kind of mood. Using Obi-Wan’s first name is a dead giveaway : the clone will not be moved.
Obi-Wan has to admit… between the heater cranked up, next to the bed, and his Commander tucked close, with the way the clones’ body temperature is higher than a regular human and the bodysuit heating function…
He’s finally getting warmer.

With a sigh and a slight use of the Force, Obi-Wan turns the lights out. He can indulge his Commander for a few minutes, until Cody falls asleep, then work on his reports on a datapad.


Obi-Wan is asleep under two minutes, cuddling close without even noticing. Cody huffs, amused, then rearranges them a little before nuzzling closer, allowing himself that little bit of selfishness as he wraps his arms around Obi-Wan.


In the officer's’ tent, there is quite a bit of snickering when, after half an hour, Cody is still not back.
“Boil, that wasn’t even remotely subtle.” sighs Waxer, turning on his side.
The other clones smirks at him.
“Not at all. But eh, if it works…”

He does have a bet riding on their superiors ending up together, after all.

Ask me silly prompts !

a bullet point fic (pt. 1)

that I don’t have time to write. If someone else wants to write it, you have my blessing.

aka, that time Luke traveled back in time to tell Obi-Wan that he had to bang Anakin in order to save the future

  • it is a nice quiet day in the middle of the Clone Wars. The Team™ has the day off and they are all getting lunch together. Obi-Wan and Padme are chatting mildly about the war and the crazy nice weather Coruscant has been having while Anakin and Ahsoka are in line to get second lunch.
  • (They eat like hobbits, and it’s not military food hallelujah so they are going to eat their fill, thank you very much)
  • Then, out of nowhere, Luke Skywalker descends from the heavens in a fabulous outfit, and has a seat at Obi-Wan and Padme’s table.
  • (No one else around seems to notice this)
  • He introduces himself as LUKE SKYWALKER, Anakin and Padme’s son, having traveled from the future to bring them a message of warning. The future sucks, he tells them. There’s an evil emperor, and Dad fell to the dark side, and Mom died and Obi-Wan was sad a lot, and Luke was an ORPHAN and basically it was the Darkest Timeline.
  • but it’s okay now! Because Luke talked to Anakin and Obi-Wan’s ghosts, and they told him how to fix everything and they sent Luke back in time to deliver this message.
  • “Obi-Wan,” Luke says with 110% seriousness. “You need to have sex with my father.”
  • what, says Obi-Wan
  • what, says Padme
  • Luke takes both of their hands and squeezes them gently. “I know, it sounds weird, but that’s what your ghosts told me. They said there were a lot of unrequited feelings that, if they’d known were requited, would have changed the future”
  • Obi-Wan looks #offended at the concept that he might ever have a feeling ever
  • Padme looks…well. She doesn’t look unhappy, I guess
  • “Basically, Dad had a vision that Mom was going to die and had no one to talk to about it and really freaked out, hence his fall to the darkside.”
  • Obi-Wan wants to say “I’m fairly certain I can get Anakin to talk to me without sleeping with him” but he doesn’t get the chance to because Luke is Chatty
  • “Anyway, the point is I’d rather have three parents than zero parents, so fix this pls k bye” and then Luke is gone, and Anakin and Ahsoka are back with their deep fried whatever, and take his seat.
  • “Are you guys alright? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” 
  • To which Obi-Wan responds that he has to go iron his dog, and Padme says that there is a Senate meeting she forgot about so bye, and then suddenly it’s an empty table with only Anakin and Ahsoka there.
    • They shrug. More deep fried bugs for them, then.

darthfluff  asked:

Since you asked for silly prompts: How about a Clone Wars/Western-AU? Or Pirates of the Caribbean? :3

Welllll, it’s more a Pirates!Au than a Pirates of the Caribbean but the first lines and the last are all from the first movie.

“You’ll be dining with the Captain, and he requests you wear this.” the pirate said, holding a bundle of clothes.

Obi-Wan snorted. Like he would. Besides, the occasion for a perfect comeback was too good.

“Well you may tell the Captain that I am disinclined to acquiesce to his request.”

The pirate grinned, his eye glinting, the other one milky white and slashed by a scar.
“He said you’d say that. He also said if that be the case, you’ll be dining with the crew… and you’ll be naked.”

With a huff, Obi-Wan took the clothes. How uncivilized.


How uncivilized. Those clothes were barely worth their name. The pants were of good quality leather, true, but far too tight for him, hugging indecently his legs, like he was wearing tights and not pants.
And the shirt ! A dark purple, so probably worth a small fortune, but the collar, if it could be called that, practically dipped down to his navel, exposing half his chest.

Captain Jango Fett was a very crass man.

He was also, sadly, a very handsome one, and despite some of his more untowardly actions, could act like a gentleman sometimes.
Obi-Wan had seen him ignoring a merchant ship once he spotted the children playing on the deck, and there were rumors that the man had taken up piratery after being branded a traitor by the East India Trading Company for refusing to transport slaves.

Obi-Wan was quite forced to admit that, while the man’s obvious ogling had been a bit… uncomfortable, they had had a lovely dinner, with food he wasn’t quite expecting at a pirate’s table.
Apparently, Dogma, the ship’s cook, had been working for Lords in England. Quite the… career reconversion.


Being a pirate’s hostage was probably not usually involving long nightly debates about morales, arguments over maps and wind and sea currents, nor heated looks and touches that were prohibited by both law and God, and yet…

Obi-Wan had been at the tipping point for weeks, now.

But his choice was made when he ran through an English naval officer with the blade he picked up, just before the man could fire on Jango’s turned back.


“You saved my life.” Jango says, and he still sounds… bewilderingly pleased. A hand strokes against Obi-Wan’s hand, as the pirate Captain steps behind him. “I owe you one in turn. Ask it of me, and I’ll sail for the colonies, or England, to bring you back home.”

There’s silence, for a few seconds, before Jango talks again.

“But what I want… what I hope you want to, would be for you to stay. Not as a prisoner, not as a hostage. Stay, as a part of my crew, part of the ship… stay with us, with me. I’ll offer you the world, the lands you’ve only dreamed of seeing, all the riches you can want.”
“And ?” Obi-Wan asks, breathless.
“And everything else that has been lingering between us those past months.” Jango adds immediately. “Me. My body. My heart. What do you say ?”

Obi-wan hums.

“What do I say ?”

He turns, winding his arms around Jango’s neck, smirking at him, eyes shining, singsonging the pirate’s favorite song.

“Drink up, me hearties, yoho!’

anonymous asked:

hullo yas cen I habe a lebel 12 zekroom fo cinim?

…. I’m i supposed to make anything of that mess???

Why do people feel the need to post ship hate in the tag? It’s like purposely trying to start a fight.

 I mean, it’s childish, don’t you think? 

No one’s asking you to ship it, so why can’t you just respect the fact that people do and people will respect the fact that you don’t? 

That’s just  common sense. 

People don’t have to ship the things I like and vice verse - let’s not make people feel bad about how they pair fictional characters. Okay?