silly advertising

youtube

Can the creature design/puppetry/filmmaking side of Tumblr tell me why this comes off as endearingly weird where under most circumstances it would’ve come off as the kind of unintentionaly creepy that’d fit into @bogleech‘s Noisy Tenant setting?

And yes, I know the obvious answer is “Because Jim Henson did it,” but I want to know how he pulled it off…

youtube

USA: so we have these weird ads about meds…

Tumblr: LOL WTF USA UR SO WEIRD

France: *hides behind blankets*

youtube

IDK what’s weirder about this ad, the visuals, the 70s-esque attempt at speculative evolution as filtered through several gallons of LSD, or its presumption that the most important question either of those things raise is “But would they still be able to wear Levis?”

9

these cuties courtesy of marvelousstrings tumblr & store

Aquatic Transformations (Part 1)

It’s late at night when you’re playing around on your computer. You’re playing games and blogging when, all of a sudden, you see a little advertisement in the corner or the screen. ‘Explore New Exotic Places for Free!’ Seems interesting enough. You click on it and find out that the information it wants is pretty basic. It’s not asking for anything too demanding, so you don’t mind filling it out. After you’ve finished the application, you mess around on the computer for another hour or two before closing up your laptop and deciding it’s time for bed. You peel off your bra and put your jammies on, then cuddle up in bed with your big pillow. Life was simple for you, but lonely since you were always by yourself. You couldn’t help but think about that little ad you had seen earlier. Would it be cool to go to new places? Of course! Would it ever happen? You highly doubted it. Before long you started to doze off and passed out.

All of a sudden, you woke up to find yourself in extreme pain. Looking around, you discovered that you weren’t in your room, but in a tube of water with things sticking to your body. You tried to breathe, but found your lungs filled with water. Were you drowning? No, you were breathing still somehow. Outside of the tube, you could see a figure standing near the tube, watching you. She had dark, chocolate skin and golden eyes, with a smile that made you feel sick to your stomach even through all the pain.

“You are the perfect test subject.You seem to be taking the transformation well.” She said, pressing her hand up against the glass and examining you further. This woman placed more hands on the tube. It turns out that she has two sets of arms. “So far, your body has been able to adapt well with the new genes. You will be the hope for a species far from your world.”

New genes? What did she mean? That’s when you looked down at yourself. You could understand why you were in so much pain now. Where you once had legs, you now had a long, fishy, scaly tail in shades of purple. You placed your hands against the glass, your head now spinning. What was all this? What was going on?! Before you could say anything, something changed in the water and you found yourself slipping out of consciousness.

When you awoke, you found yourself in a tank the size of a living room. You had been sleeping on something soft that you would compare to a pillow, but you were underwater so how could it be a pillow? You shook your head, trying to think of what happened to you. Sitting up, you could see your new lower half. Deep purples and blue scales started where your belly button once was, forming your new tail. You had two small fins on your hips, and two tiny flippers near the end of your tail. The upper half of your body seemed to be almost the same as before, except that you had gills on your neck and the sides of your ribs, and your ribcage stuck out more than before.

“Do you like your new body?” You heard from the ceiling. There were speakers in the corners of the tank. You grasped some of the pillows and covered your chest and tried to speak, but couldn’t. The voice seemed to laugh before the top of the tank started to open up. It was the woman from before. “Do not worry, little one. No one will bother you about your breasts. Now, try out your new fins and swim to the top.”

There was very little you could do in this situation. You set the pillow back down on the bottom of the tank and pushed yourself up into the water. It took you a few clumsy minutes, but you were finally able to make it to the top of the tank, where you coughed up water until your lungs filled with air, and what you saw amazed you.

The tank you were placed in was near several other tanks with strange fish-like creatures in them, but none to the mermaid state you were in. Further away, there was a large lake where you could see some jumping out of the water and lounging around. Up above you were metal ceilings and large lights, illuminating the area.

“You are on my ship.” Said the woman standing on an observation deck near you. “And you are also very lucky that your transformation was such a success. Others were not so lucky.” It was the same woman from before. You grit your teeth, staring at her. “Of course, you must have some questions. Please, feel free to ask me anything.” She said, moving to the edge of the deck and sitting down, placing her legs in the water.

Using your fins, you slowly made your way near her and placed your arms on the edge of the tank. “Wh… Where am I? And what happened?” You asked her, your voice shaky.

“As I said, you are on my intergalactic ship, soaring through space at velocities your kind haven’t managed to reach as of yet. And, well, do you not remember that you signed up for this?” She asked, looking at you curiously. “We had put up an advertisement on the internet and asked for volunteers who were willing to leave their homes.”

That’s when it clicked. You had seen a silly little advertisement and clicked on it. It had talked about wanting people to move to new, exotic places, and you thought it was fake, but still put in your personal info cuz, what the hell, it didn’t ask for much info. Your eyes widened as you placed your hands on your forehead. “I… I didn’t think it was going to be like this! I didn’t think it would be out of this world!” You sighed. “Are you fucking serious?” You asked, looking at her. “That silly little ad led to… to all this?!” You asked, gesturing to your lower half.

The mysterious woman seemed to giggle a little, placing a hand on your shoulder. “It isn’t as bad as it seems, young lady. In about a month’s time, we will be at Kashi, and you will begin your new life there.” She said, trying to soothe you. “We needed to transform you this way so you would fit in better with natives.” She gestured one of her free hands towards the lake. “The Kashians are a dying species. They asked me, a leading scientist from Vantu, to help them, and I couldn’t refuse them.”

You nodded, starting to get an understanding of the situation, but were still very confused. “And… What did you mean by I was the lucky one?” You asked, almost dreading the answer.

The woman sighed. “You were the only one we have who accepted the genes correctly. Everyone else either turned into more of a, what you call, ‘fish,’ rather than a Kashian.” She shook her head. “We only had about 20 other subjects, but only seven survived the testing, not including you.” She looked away, towards some of the other tanks. “All of you that were selected didn’t have close ties to any family, in case something went wrong. You all signed your lives away, and even though I am sad about that, I am grateful for all of you who survived. We have learned much about the way the Kashi genes react to your species’ genes, but I am afraid you are the only perfect creation we will ever make. I do not wish to torment any of you again.”

“Oh… okay then.” You said, watching her. “I’m not all that special. I don’t see how it was just me that made it.” Looking down, you swished your tail a little from side to side. “It’s pretty cool how you did this though. How did you get past the government and take us?” You asked, kinda curious now.

She just looked at you and smiled. “That is a story for another time. Right now, you need to get used to your new body and rest before you are moved into another tank with the others.”

“Others?” You asked quickly. “Oh, right. The other people who made it.” Looking over at another tank, you noticed a large fish-like creature staring at you. Once it noticed you saw it, it swam away quickly. “I… I hope they’re nice.”

The woman slowly got out of the water, starting to walk away. “You will have to find out tomorrow. By then, your vocal cords should be used to the water and you can communicate with them.” She looked back at you and waved. “Get some rest. Tomorrow’s a big day.” She started to walk away, but stopped. “You may call me Dr. Kriyan. I will have someone bring you food once you wake.” With that, she walked away, leaving wet footprints on the deck until she walked through a doorway a little ways away, it closing soon behind her.

Using your arms, you lifted yourself onto the deck and sat at the edge where the doctor once sat. This was all so strange. Only you and a couple others had survived? And when you first met the doctor, she seemed to be so creepy but now she’s nice? You shook your head, grasping it. Everything was confusing, but one thing you weren’t sure of was if your singing voice had changed.

Back home, singing was your passion. You loved making your own songs and singing by yourself or wherever you were. After warming up your voice for a moment, you started to sing, delighted that your voice was still the same. Some of the creatures in the tanks near you started to watch you, but they didn’t seem as scared as they once were. You were glad you could soothe them a little by singing. They must have been scared from everything going on.


What you didn’t realize, however, was that someone from the lake was watching you. They seemed to have fallen for you, and you were the only thing they desired now.

__________________________________

Hello, everyone! You can call me Bree, and this is my first time posting something like this. I have a page called @breedoesnsfw , and there will definitely be more parts to this! Also, there’s been a lot of mermaid stuff going on here so I joined the band wagon. Hope you all don’t mind! I should have some naughty bits in the next post. <3

Holistic for Glorious Cats - Zen/MC Fanfic

Yup yup, here’s another Zen fanfic ^^ I wanted to write a bit more kissing in there but it ended up not really suiting the scene, soooo I’ll likely be writing another Zen fic with more kissing sometime >_<

Spoiler free, safe for all ages. Enjoy!


“Cut, cut! Excuse me, can someone bring the model a tissue? And we’re going to need the makeup artist in here again…”

“Poor Zen…” you say, looking over at him. The cat in his arms squirms and he quickly hands it off to one of the crew beside him. A makeup artist approaches him and applies a powder that reduces the redness on his cheeks and forehead.

Jumin drums his fingers on the armrest of his chair and takes a sip of his wine. “I was right, coming here was a much better idea than going to that meeting.” This might actually be the happiest you’ve even seen Jumin. Or perhaps happy isn’t the right word—smug, maybe?

Keep reading