daisiestdaisy  asked:

How would Erlich rank the people in his life, from "definitely secretly in love with me" to "only probably secretly in love with me"?

oooo that’s a good one!! I had a tough time putting them in order, feel free to fight me on that.

Monica (mostly baseless wishful thinking and misinterpreting disgust/disinterest for sexual tension)

Jian Yang (there’s no way someone could spend that much time and effort screwing with him without being in love with him)

Jared (I think Erlich knows Jared is in love with Richard, but on some level feels that there’s no way any non-straight guy could not be in love with him. He also definitely sees Jared’s thoughtfulness towards him as proof that he’s in love with him without taking into consideration that Jared is thoughtful towards everyone)

Laurie (same reasons as Monica)

Richard (this is a tough one to place cause Erlich is definitely in love with Richard and wants those feelings to be reciprocated, and I feel like when Erlich is feeling good about himself he thinks that Richard does love him and just hasn’t realized it yet. But when his self esteem is low he thinks it’s all in his head and he’s kidding himself)

Bighead (Bighead literally entered a marriage-type arrangement with Erlich, there’s no way they’re not at least kind of in love with him)

Gilfoyle (Erlich believes that anyone with as much disdain for him as Gilfoyle has has to be putting on a front to cover up the fact that they’re at least kind of in love with him, whether they’ve realized it or not)

Dinesh (Erlich doesn’t have any real reason to believe Dinesh is in love with him other than the fact that how could someone live with him for that long without falling at least a little bit in love with him?)

@mouse-mind AU where Erlich decides to wait until PP is more stable before he sells his shares to pay back the people he owes money to. So he fakes his death or fakes fleeing the country to get the people off his back for the time being and hides in the attic. All the other guys think he’s dead or in Mexico but Richard figured out he’s still in the house when his Fage yogurt kept going missing.


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