Today has been one of the hardest days I have eve had to deal with. The pain is so bad today. I feel so sick…:

You know how terrifying it is to be in so much pain and there’s nothing you can do?! Medicine isn’t working and you can’t sleep…you lay there silently screaming and crying because you can’t do anything.

I thought to myself that I wouldn’t mind dying to escape the pain.

I hope I feel better for work tmrw because I don’t want to have to call off..I hate calling off..I always push through but I can’t function and let alone groom dogs…

haha well i have no idea what i’m doing in my future and my dreams are dying in my hands and my chest hurts and i never sleep and my mouth tastes like sand and my entire body is filled with a silent scream but yeah i’m doing fine thanks for asking

No matter how long it’s been or how many times I’ve watched it, Will saying the words ‘Did you just smell me?’ in that sort of teasing disbelief that Doctor Lecter just-fucking-sniffed-him plus Hannibal’s genuine awkwardness as he tries in vain to excuse himself, will always make the clouds part, the sun come out, flowers bloom, and put a big goofy grin on my face.


 but secretly everyone’s captivated by Yuta’s sexy body moves ♥ 🔞🔞

wei50-blog  asked:

Silent Scream, Eun-Sang & Young-Do, 19

open your eyes

“It’s your turn,” Young-Do says groggily as Eun-Sang staunchly ignores the babbling from baby monitor. It sounds like Hye-Rim is saying hello to Jung-Woo and telling him a story.

She curls into a tiny ball and pulls the blanket over her head right after signing a quick No because she knows he won’t press her to get up with their son. She’s right because he sighs, pulls the blanket back enough to kiss her behind the ear, and gets out of bed. She sneaks a peek at his backside and grins to herself as she remembers how uncomfortable her younger self was with his easy of nudity.

He pauses briefly to pull on a pair of sweatpants and she goes back to dozing. She is not surprised when Young-Do returns and places a squirming Jung-Woo on her pillow before climbing back into bed with her.

“I sent Hye-Rim to bother her parents. I’m pretty sure Hyo-Shin didn’t get in until after midnight so that will be fun.”

Eun-Sang pokes her fingers out. You’re mean. 

“I am the one buying Rachel’s midnight cravings when he works late with his trainees. I get to be mean in the morning, don’t I, Jung-Woo?”

There was a cackling laughter before Jung-Woo crawls on top of her head to try and end Young-Do’s tickling and that ends all sleep. He was eight months and very active but her favorite part of him is the way he always snuggles into her shoulder when she holds him.

Eun-Sang eventually sits up and opens her eyes to a beautiful life. Sometimes, she’s afraid it’s all a dream or a hopeful moment in the Drift and when she opens her eyes she will be back in her tiny apartment hiding from her own personal monster.

Young-Do always kisses her when she opens her eyes and this morning, he pulls Jung-Woo into his lap. “Alright. We practiced hard with Halmeoni. Say Omma.”

Jung-Woo grins and his little hands makes the sign for mother and Eun-Sang gasps. Jung-Woo picked up all the important signs quickly–Hungry, Potty, Hot, Cold, Grandmother, Aunt, Uncle, even Daddy, but he struggled with Mommy. He seemed to understand the majority of what Eun-Sang said to him but when he wanted her, he just cried. She knew Young-Do was working with him and Mama said that sometimes babies just got frustrated because they were babies but…

Jung-Woo pats her cheeks when she starts crying and hugging him and trying to tell him how much she loves him. Then Jung-Woo makes two little signs–love and omma.

Omma loves Jung-Woo. She looked up at Young-Do and kissed him. Thank you.

“Rachel helped in between her morning sickness. I know how hard it was Hye-Rim picked everything up at six months but our Jung-Woo was a slow-poke.”

He’s the cutest slow-poke. Eun-Sang kisses him and basks in her life.

“Why’d you do it? Break up with him, I mean.”
She shrugged. “Don’t know, I guess it just wasn’t working out anymore.”
“Why not?”
“It didn’t feel like love anymore.”
“From him or you?”
“Both, I guess.”
“You guess?”
I clenched my jaw. “I’m not stupid, you know. I know you’re lying.”
“Excuse me?” she narrowed her eyes.
“You still love him. And you know that he still loves you.”
“I don’t,” she responded shortly. “And he doesn’t.”
“Cut the crap, okay? You love him and he loves you, he loves you so much that his chest is caving in more and more each day he doesn’t hear from you. He loves you so much that he writes poems and letters that he’ll never send to you every day, as if the might bring you back to him. He loves you so much that he’s willing to wait forever for you, however long it takes until you realize that he’s the one that will love you through anything. And I know you love him just as much, so don’t lie to me. You were just scared. You were just scared out of your mind that one day he’d figure you out, he’d figure out the kind of person you were and he’d run away. Well, guess what? He had you figured out since the day you met, and he stayed anyways while you ran from him.”
And her silence screamed the answers she refused to say aloud.
—  silent screams and wildest dreams