Before the age of the internet, horror fans scoured the isles of their local video store, renting whatever flick had the best cover art. The boxes were gory, creepy, and oftentimes absurd. They were decorated with blood, guts, gore and half naked women, each box trying its hardest to stick out from the rest and earn the curious horror fan’s dollar. They especially intrigued younger viewers, offering a brief voyeuristic glimpse into the kind of adult entertainment that was otherwise hidden from their eyes. In this post I take a look back at some of the most striking horror movie VHS box covers from the video store days.
What did the crew of the Silent Mary and Salazar actually get up to whilst trapped in the Devil’s Triangle?
(I like to imagine them pranking each other as ghosts like every day and Salazar is just slowly losing his cool as he watches his crew walking through walls and scaring each other) (if that’s the case, no wonder he was so angry)
Some personal Salazar headcanons, both pre- and post-death.
- During his leaves ashore, Salazar becomes an entirely new person. He checks on his mother and extended family - he’s more than happy to be the “cool uncle” and tells stories of hunting pirates to all the little ones. Mama Salazar asks him every time when he will settle down; he just gives her a faint smile that basically translates to ‘only when piracy is gone forever’
- Music lover big time. He always investigates concerts and new performers and enjoys going to see his favorites when he has the chance.
- Speaking of his love of music, Salazar does sing - mostly to himself, humming a few bars to pass the time on the Silent Mary, or in small performances to the very few who know him well. His range is firmly baritone, though he can manage a little bit of tenor if he’s warmed up.
- At balls and dances, he’s the favorite dance partner of all the ladies. His skills with swordplay give him a surprising amount of grace when it comes to dancing.
- He is basically the personification of ‘a demon to his enemies, an angel to his friends’, the latter of which are very few indeed. Lesaro is probably the only person on the Mary that has some understanding of Salazar’s true character, under his duties to the Spanish navy and his hatred of pirates.
- When on the sea, Salazar’s definitely a hard taskmaster, demanding perfection and precision every moment. Despite the difficulty in serving under him, when a lower sailor is reassigned from Salazar’s command they’re far more likely to be promoted and recognized thanks to the discipline Salazar’s instilled in his crew.
Cursed and Dead:
- The first few weeks are full of disbelief. How can he be dead, here he is on his ship (even though she’s completely ruined) with his men, walking and talking. It’s not until one of the men steps off the Mary and doesn’t fall through the water that the truth starts sinking in.
- Salazar takes a lot of time to himself even as his humanity starts slipping away - and he feels it, too. His crew don’t know how to reach out to him, and Lesaro has his hands full keeping the rest of the men calm and as collected as dead men can be. It’s Lesaro that maintains order and sanity among them.
- Salazar’s bond to the powers of the Triangle give him a lot of knowledge he can’t fully understand (this contributes to the instability of his psyche). From this information is how he gets some awareness of the world outside (including Jack’s compass and Jack’s surname/title) and divines how the Mary can be freed from the Triangle.
(** This is how I address the several impossibilities/canon-breaking bits in Salazar’s monologue to Barbossa, which also deepens the really unreliable narrator Salazar proves to be in that scene. Like, there’s no way he’d know Jack would be dubbed “Sparrow” after that mess, or know of the specific compass (excluding the fact that Jack actually gets it from Tia Dalma as she proclaims in DMC) in the seconds he’s sailing into the Triangle. **)
- It’s somewhere in the middle part of the Mary’s imprisonment that Salazar starts testing out his supernatural abilities. These scare the shit out of his crew, which he manipulates to ensure some measure of loyalty considering Lesaro’s been covering for him all this time (and enduring the shenanigans of trying to pass time when you’re undead and stuck in a dark damp cave for decades)
I probably have more somewhere but those are what I got. :D
What if Salazar had really bad balance and kept falling or tripping over: Salazar: (Picks up poster) Jack Sparrow. Do you know this pirate?
Henry: Only by name (Salazar trips over nothing, Lesaro facepalms)
Henry: -Oh! Um … Are you ok?
Salazar: (Now lying on his back on the ground, acting casual as though tripping over is normal for him)Yes, I’ll just continue questioning you from down here
Henry: Um … ok
Salazar: You’re looking for him?
( Henry continues gawking a him)
Salazar: Is that a yes?
Jack: Can I please have a drink … please? Bartender: Where’s your silver? Jack: Silver? How about a trade? Give me the bottle (Slams the compass down) Lesaro: Capitan, what’s happening?!
Salazar: Jack Sparrow … Jack Sparrow has given away the compass!
(Rocks crumble, sunshine appears)
Salazar: Daylight!- (Trips over, Lesaro curses under his breath)
Salazar: (Lying on the ground, acting casual) It’s time to hunt a pirate
Lesaro: Capitan, a ship sails toward us
(Salazar causes the Silent Mary to rear up over the QAR )
Barbossa: CAPTAIN SALAZAR, I HEAR YE BE LOOKIN’ FOR JACK SPARROW?!
(Salazar stops, then suddenly his crew start jumping down onto the Queen Anne’s Revenge, and finally, Salazar jumps down, but then as he is walking up to Barbossa, he trips over. Barbossa does not know how to react - Lesaro, however, is not amused)
Barbossa: (Trying to ignore the fact that Salazar is now lying on the deck of the ship in a twisted position) My name’s Captain Barbossa, I stand before you with cordial intent
Salazar: (Totally not phased about the fact he is unable to get back up) Eeh, cordial intent