silence is wise

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finally finished this monster of a painting WHEW
done in about 7 hours! started as stress relief and then painted during breaks of working on jaj!

over dinner tonight, my mom asked me when I was graduating. I told her I would in Spring 18 and she got mad and asked why I was graduating late (literally only a year late, not even that serious). I asked her what my major was, and she’s never looked more stumped in her life. Gave her ten minutes to answer and she really couldn’t even guess one major, and I’m 4 years into my degree. How do you expect for me to just get things done according to your standards, when you haven’t shown the slightest interest or support in my education and career choices?? wack

I love your silence. It is so wise. It listens. It invites warmth. I love your loneliness. It is brave. It makes the universe want to protect you. You have the loneliness that all true heroes have, a loneliness that is a deep sea, within which the fishes of mystery dwell. I love your quest. It is noble. It has greatness in it. Only one who is born under a blessed star would set sail across the billowing waves and the wild squalls, because of a dream. I love your dream. It is magical. Only those who truly love and who are truly strong can sustain their lives as a dream. You dwell in your own enchantment. Life throws stones at you, but your love and your dream change those stones into the flowers of discovery. Even if you lose, or are defeated by things, your triumph will always be exemplary. And if no one knows it, then there are places that do. People like you enrich the dreams of the world, and it is dreams that create history. People like you are the unknowing transformers of things, protected by your own fairy-tale, by love.
—  Ben Okri, Astonishing the Gods
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Two boards for two of my favorite books, The Name Of The Wind, and Wise Man’s Fear. First is Kvothe’s board, as he describes his adventures to chronicler, and second is Kote, the man he has become.

Kvothe Aesthetic :

“I have stolen princesses back from sleeping barrow kings. I burned down the town of Trebon. I have spent the night with Felurian and left with both my sanity and my life. I was expelled from the University at a younger age than most people are allowed in. I tread paths by moonlight that others fear to speak of during day. I have talked to gods, loved women, and written songs that make the minstrels weep. You may have heard of me.”  - Patrick Rothfus, the name of the wind


Kote (Reshi) Aesthetic :

” The Waystone Inn lay in silence, and it was a silence of three parts

[..]  The man had true-red hair, red as flame. his eyes was dark and distant, and he moved with the subtle certainty that comes from knowing many things.The Waystone was his, just as the third silence was his. This was appropriate, as it was the greatest silence of the three, wapping the other inside itself. It was deep and wide as autumn’s ending. It was heavy as a great river-smooth stone. It was the patient, cut-flower sound of  a man who is waiting to die.”

@kvothbloodless , (idk, you’re the only kkc blog i follow that posts reguralrly, so there have a tag)

A time comes when a challenge arises
and a choice must be made. Life brings this.
Go in one direction and you enter a field of noise and confusion.
Go in the opposite and there is silence, joy and stillness.
The wise exercise the higher choice
until choice itself disappears.
They are living in the fruit of their higher choices
and become one with the great flow.
—  Mooji
I love your silence. It is so wise. It listens. It invites warmth. I love your loneliness. It is brave. It makes the universe want to protect you. You have the loneliness that all true heroes have, a loneliness that is a deep sea, within which the fishes of mystery dwell. I love your quest. It is noble. It has greatness in it. Only one who is born under a blessed star would set sail across the billowing waves and the wild squalls, because of a dream. I love your dream. It is magical. Only those who truly love and who are truly strong can sustain their lives as a dream. You dwell in your own enchantment. Life throws stones at you, but your love and your dream change those stones into the flowers of discovery. Even if you lose, or are defeated by things, your triumph will always be exemplary. And if no one knows it, then there are places that do. People like you enrich the dreams of the world, and it is dreams that create history. People like you are the unknowing transformers of things, protected by your own fairy-tale, by love.
—  Ben Okri, Astonishing the Gods

When people are proud of their speech, be proud of your silence. — Luqman al-Hakeem

some Keith and Lance doodles… sorry for the radio silence fandom-wise :’’(

I’ve been working on some unique flash designs lately so i don’t have much i can post, as i will only have them available for viewing at the studio.. might post some sneak peeks, though, at some point C:

I am always here to fight for my people, but for this pride month, I want to give extra love to my fellow lgbtqa+ folks of color. Shout-out to all of you. You are so gorgeous and important and brave. 

We deserve to be here and to be heard. We deserve to fight the institutions that keep us down and to not be silenced. We are valuable and wise. We are worthy. Now, more than ever, we need to remind ourselves of this. 

If any other lgbtqa+ folks of color want to reblog this and add their own words, I would be honored. 

In the manga, it was implicitly hinted that Road and Neah have a connection - a deep relationship. (That relationship subsequently spilling over to Road’s current attraction and fondness for Allen Walker - Neah’s host.)

What if Neah sired a child with Road and that child was Tyki? It’d explain how close Road and Tyki are as compared to the rest of the family (exception of Jasdebi); and how Tyki resembles Neah in terms of appearances…

It’d be the reason why Neah left Road unharmed and why the Earl didn’t prosecute her for helping Neah, because she was pregnant. During the fight in the ark, Road was positively pissed over Tyki’s grave injuries (and only Tyki’s) despite it being Allen Walker the one dealing the mortal blow - because it was her child he was hurting.

Not forgetting that adult Neah was alive 17 years ago, Road being the eldest Noah who survived the massacre, and Tyki currently being 26 - the timeline fits.

Maybe that was why Road silenced Wisely when he pointed out Tyki being the splitting image of Neah - to conceal the truth from the rest who had their memories damaged.

Phantom of the Opera Starters Part 1

Feel free to change pronouns as needed!

Think of Me

  • “Think of me fondly”
  • “Promise me you’ll try”
  • “God in heaven you’re all obssessed!”
  • “How young and innocent we were”
  • “She may not remember me”
  • “You were a disgrace!”

Angel of Music

  • “Brava”
  • “I hear your words in the darkness”
  • “Grant to me your glory”
  • “Your hands are cold”
  • “Your face, __, it’s white”
  • “Don’t be frightened”

Little Lotte

  • “You remember that too?”
  • “And now, we go to supper”
  • “You must change, and I must get my hat”
  • “Insolent boy!”
  • “You shall know me”
  • “I am your angel of music”

The Phantom of the Opera

  • “In sleep he sang to me”
  • “Do I dream again?”
  • “Sing once again with me”
  • “My power over you grows stronger yet”
  • “I am the mask you wear”
  • “Sing!”
  • “You have come here for one purpose”
  • “Sing for me!”
  • “I have needed you with me”

The Music of the Night

  • “Darkness stirs and wakes imagination”
  • “Turn your face away from the garish light of day”
  • “Turn your thoughts away from cold, unfeeling light”
  • “Close your eyes and surrender to your darkest dreams”
  • “Purge your thoughts of the life you knew before”
  • “Let your spirit start to soar”
  • “Open up your mind”
  • “Trust me”

I Remember/Stranger Than You Dreamt It

  • “I remember there was mist”
  • “Who was that shape in the shadows?”
  • “Whose is that face in the mask?”
  • “You little prying pandora!”
  • “This is what you wanted to see?”
  • “Now you cannot ever be free!”
  • “Damn you! Curse you!”
  • “You’ll learn to see”

Magical Lasso

  • “You must be always on your guard”
  • “Those who speak of what they know find too late that prudent silence is wise.”
  • “Hold your tongue”

Notes

  • “It says mystery”
  • “Gossip’s worth its weight in gold!”
  • “__ please don’t shout”
  • “Oh, it seems you’ve got one too…”
  • “I want an answer”
  • “Isn’t this the letter you wrote?”
  • “Make no attempt to see her again”
  • “What is it that I’m meant to have sent?”
  • “Far too many notes for my taste”
  • “You have not followed my instructions”

Prima Donna

  • “You are our star!”
  • “It’s useless trying to appease me!”
  • “Your public needs you”
  • “We need you”
  • “The world wants you”
  • “Think of how they all adore you”
  • “The world is at your feet”
  • “So, it is to be war between us?”

Why Have You Brought Me Here?

  • “Don’t take me back there!”
  • “His eyes will find me there!”
  • “__ will kill!”
  • “Whose voice is it you hear?”
  • “That night there was music on my mind”
  • “What you heard was a dream, and nothing more”

All I Ask of You (And Reprise)

  • “Forget these wide-eyed fears”
  • “My words will warm and calm you”
  • “I’m here, with you, beside you”
  • “Say you’ll love me every waking moment”
  • “Promise me that all you say is true”
  • “Share each day with me”
  • “Anywhere you go, let me go too”
  • “I must go-They’ll wonder where I am”
  • “I gave you my music”
  • “Now, how you’ve betrayed me”
Signposts

I asked a wise woman I know to gift me with some life advice as a graduation present. These are her words:

You are no new traveler. You have not asked for, nor do you need, the basics for whatever journeys are painted on the map ahead. Your rucksack is worn, your shoes wise with the miles behind, and your compass, though still newer, is steady. What follows are not directions that you need. These are more like signposts that have served me well, places where I have found water to refill my heart and canteen, knowledge of which plants have made me sick, and which berries will sustain. As endless as the mysteries of the wild are, so too we are never done exploring life’s trails. Here’s to the next leg. You are never ready. Yet, you already are.

• My partner always says: “What’s the intention? And what’s the expectation?” When faced with whether to have a difficult conversation with someone or make some choice, ask yourself those two questions. If you answer honestly, the truth that you already know usually guides the way. We cannot lie about our intentions to ourselves; even if we do, we have nothing to gain by doing so. And typically the expectation is not hiding, it is merely an unasked question begging to be answered.

• You attract more bees with honey than vinegar. Always. Without exception. No one has ever changed their mind by reading an angry social media post or text, or being yelled at. I forget this every time I let my fury and passion get the best of me. Then I must remember it in the ensuing silence when I have to confront why no one wanted to engage in the conversation. Crowds don’t follow individuals because they are right, they follow because they are captivated. Being “right” does not inherently earn you anything. People don’t want to be told what to do. They want to find their way, and they always remember who helped them do that and who made them feel guilty for trying.

• Silence is sometimes a wise choice and not necessarily a weakness. I consider myself a very principled person in that when a rule is “technically” broken it is broken; and it infuriates me. I guess this is a “pick your battles” sort of cliché. But it’s true. Having principles does not mean always beating other people over the head with them. Trust earned now means a platform later. I am confident that you, like me, will not rarely struggle to speak up (maybe sometimes, but not often). Our more frequent battle is the challenge to listen and hear beyond our gut reaction. It’s endlessly difficult, but fantastically rewarding. People do surprise me, when I let them. And they teach me many unexpected lessons, if only I am ready to learn.

• I recently carried numerous suitcases of heavy bitterness up to my mountain and left them all there. People always say holding onto bitterness is like eating the poison waiting for it to kill the rat. I’ve heard isms like that my whole life and obstinately—I couched it as, successfully—held onto all my grudges. Don’t do that any longer than you have to. It has made me faster to anger, and slower to listen and learn. So take your suitcases of anger, bitterness, and hurt, and leave them somewhere. You can go back there to feel them, but only there. When I am on the mountain I can reflect on those past wounds, but when I leave, they stay. They don’t live on my shoulders anymore.

• Nest, make spaces what they need to be to feel like yourself and at home—but don’t accumulate stuff. As a practical matter (for moving—which, for nearly 26 years, I’ve done an average of once every 1-2 years), but also as a spiritual matter. Select the objects and energy you keep in your space wisely. I am constantly learning, forgetting, and then re-learning that new clothes, new belonging, or food and TV binges are like drinking sand. But hiking, plants, gathered rocks and totems, dried flowers, sage, art, reading, and images that reflect my journey and the life I’m building with my partner help ground me in the anxious moments.

• Rescue a fur-child, and fall in love with it and let it teach you all the beautiful things you have to learn from it. Walk it, daily if you can. Take good care of it. It will cost you money and time and heartbreak and it will keep you from being social and it will make you worry and it will be one of the best things you have ever done.

• Save. And never underestimate how fast that money can be spent. I once had about $10,000 saved during college and it was gone within a year. Before law school, I was once stranded in a parking lot, no gas, credit cards maxed out, in the red on my debit card, aaaandddd on my period without any tampons. Money is not everything. And in abundance it will spend you dry and dissatisfied. But being a she-hustler and having a responsible-ass savings account will never feel like a bad choice either.

• Get smart credit cards deals, use credit cards, and pay them off each month. There can be a lot of anti-credit sentiment among younger generations, but I have better credit than people twice my age. It costs you nothing, and it will give you the option of great deals on your terms with cars and homes in the future. If you spend more than you can pay, learn that lesson fast and never need to learn it again.

• Make real art. Know you will spend your whole life re-defining all three of those words. Challenge yourself to search and create even when it is not easy. But do not guilt yourself when the muse is hibernating. Striving to grow and learn, even in seasons of drought, is not fake if you are doing it for you. But never feel guilt or shame about taking refuge in a hiatus and waiting for the next season to come. I know that I will write stories and poems and novels one day to feed myself. It may be many years from now. I rest in nurturing this particular part of my intellectual curiosity without fearing a loss of identity and self by not currently exploring my artistic curiosities. You will change and shape-shift throughout this next summer and the rest of your life, it does not mean you are losing anything. Release expectations of yourself that do not make you better. Reject the same when imposed by anyone else.

• Forgive the friends who leave, viciously love the ones who stay, and part with the ones who do not uplift you or make you better. There are people who are in our lives, as we know deep in our hearts, only for us to love them and learn from that experience. In my opinion, that should be the minority of individuals. The vast majority should share in the belief that relationships are two-way streets. Friends are seasons, too. I have spent a lot of wasted grief and bitterness figuring out how to accept that. But acceptance of that truth makes you a better friend for that given period of time.

• Listen to the voice in your gut, your chest, or the back of your mind—wherever you’ve placed it and made it cozy. Even when what it is saying is contrary to the advice of others. Hear their wisdom, consider it, let it inform the conversation you are having with your own Voice. And then listen to your own. You may be wrong, but I’m willing to bet you usually will not be. Hone the voice and take care of it so you can hear it better. Spend time in quietness with yourself. Practice mindfulness. Meditate. Pray. The minute I started listening to that Voice within I finally started living fully and honestly, and it hasn’t led me (too far) astray.

• Fight ego. We will spend our lives discovering and confronting the insecurities and ego that lurk in the shadows of our hearts and rob us of joy and valuable lessons. It’s a tiring battle sometimes. But keep at it. Humility is plant that needs constant sunlight and watering. Ego is an often-forgotten weed in the backyard that needs constant hacking.
———
I’ll end with this. You may be facing this summer and the nebulous “future” of post-college graduation and thinking, “what the fuck now?” If someone asked you what you wanted to do, you would (maybe) respond with an “I don’t know” only because it is not clean-cut or “acceptable” to list out thirty different things as an answer. I doubt that you really do not know—you likely know dozens of things you want to do but don’t know what the “right” next step is.

I once had a conversation with someone in response to this question, and it has stuck with me ever since. He asked me the question, I actually responded with a list of ten things I wanted to do and said I didn’t know where to begin. And he said, “just pick one, and do it until it’s not right anymore.”

We long for a sense of identity—the ability to say “I AM doing this,” and “I AM this person,” or “THIS career.” The idea of test-driving a pursuit and it not being final is paralyzing to most of the population. That fear—the fear of not making the “right” next step—keeps people from taking out loans to go to school, quitting jobs they hate, moving out of cities they are stagnant in, and challenging themselves at something they dream of doing. Just pick one. And do it until it’s not right anymore.

I changed my major in undergrad seven times. Literally seven different times I was convinced I knew my future. I nearly dropped out of college to devote all of my time to the restaurant company I was working for, convinced, again, that I would manage restaurants and then open my own someday. I graduated with an essentially worthless degree, and would weave in and out of a handful of jobs again for the next two years before I ended up on the path to law school. And you know how it happened? One day, my dear boss looked at me and said, “You’d be a great lawyer.” One sentence fell into my chest like a seed. We can’t anticipate those moments. We can only work hard to be listening and brave for when they come knocking. Just pick one, and do it until it doesn’t feel right anymore.

You are a remarkable human. I am endlessly amazed at, inspired by, and proud of you. Take care of yourself however you need to in the months ahead. Go on a trip, write a lot, paint a lot, be quiet. Rest. But don’t get stuck. The world is waiting for you, and she’s excited about whatever you’re wearing when you show up. Leave not a minute too soon, but don’t keep her waiting too long.