silence gets too loud

Adventurous Escapades

Reader x Happy get frisky at Lyla and Opie’s wedding ;)

Sitting at one of the tables at the wedding reception, the smile on your face is hard to remove.

Seeing your two good friends tie the knot was a beautiful thing. The ceremony itself had been lovely, and now, in true SAMCRO tradition, everyone was getting shit faced.

You take a sip from your drink, the orange juice reminding you that you’re going to have to lug your, probably very drunk, boyfriend home tonight.

Still smiling to yourself, you spot him from across the room, a grin plastered on his face. Your heart warms as you watch him laughing and joking with Tig and Chibs.

You love seeing him so relaxed, so loose in his environment, and with a life like this it wasn’t often that he could be like that. Little things like this, the simplest things, make you realise how much you love Happy, and how thankful you are that he’s in your life.

As Chibs and Tig walk over to the happy couple, you get up from your seat, walking over to your old man. He’s facing you, leaning against the bar, so he sees you coming before you reach him. He smiles at you, reaching his hand out for you, pulling you into his chest. He places his beer down beside him, locking his arms around your back.

“You alright?” He asks, a slight smell of alcohol on his breath. You nod, straightening the front of his leather jacket.

“What about you? You good?” You ask, looking up into his eyes. He watches you, his eyes breathing you in for a moment before he nods, placing a single kiss to your lips.

“Did I mention how beautiful you look?” You laugh, a giddy feeling still overcoming you anytime that he compliments you. His face lights up at the sound, your laugh being his favourite melody.

You pretend to think for a moment, humming. “Maybe once or twice.” You tease. In fact, Happy had told you how good you looked multiple times today. It was hard to focus in the ceremony with his hand on your thigh, his fingers rising higher up your dress, your mind cloudy as you had to stop his actions numerous times.

“Mhm, that’s cause you do.” He moves his head to your neck, your eyes fluttering closed as he leaves small kisses on your neck. He nips at the skin, sucking slightly, your body feeling hot as you grab his shirt in your fist. You subconsciously tilt your head to the side, exposing more of yourself for his lips to grace.

“Hap.” You pant quietly, as he sucks a particularly sensitive part of your skin. He groans into your skin, the small whisper of his name making his cock lunge in his pants.

“Come with me.” He says, pulling you by the wrist and leading you through the forest a few feet from the party. Your heart is racing, your panties wet with how urgently Happy is pulling you, how desperate he is for you. Just for you.

He pushes you back gently, your back hitting a hard surface behind you. You stable yourself, the bark on the tree rough under your fingers.

Happy pushes his hands into your hair, pulling your lips forcefully to meet his. Your hands slip under his shirt, his stomach toned and smooth as you dance your fingertips around. He pulls at your bottom lip, a small moan leaving your mouth as he gently sucks.

He almost growls, grabbing your hair firmly in his grasp and forcefully turning you around. He pushes your dress up, the somewhat chilly air meeting your core. You hold onto the tree, looking forward, as you hear the sound of a belt buckle being undone behind you.

Your emotions are on overdrive. The ball of want in the bottom of your stomach being driven by the thought of being caught, being so exposed out here in public for all to see, your loved ones being just a short distance away.

Your hair still being held in makeshift pony tail, you feel your pussy being exposed completely, the thin fabric torn away by your ravenous partner. You close your eyes as the breeze tickles your most intimate areas, the need to be touched driving you insane.

You feel his calloused fingers up your folds, only checking to see if you’re wet enough before you feel his hard cock at your entrance.

“Quiet now, or else there will be punishment when we get home. You understand, little girl?” His voice is deep, demanding, leaving no room for negotiation. You whine needing, nodding, as he slips into you.

Your mouth parts as your fingers dig into the tree, your head being pulled back as Happy savours the feeling of your warm, wet walls around him.

“Fuck.” You moan deeply, his hand coming up to silence you before you get too loud. He brings his lips to your ear, his movements still as you adjust around him.

“What did I say about being quiet? Hmm?” He questions you, pulling out of you before sinking back into you slowly, deeply. Your body is drowning in ecstasy, the feeling of your boyfriend inside you being one you could feel forever.

He keeps his hand on your mouth, light enough to let you breathe, as he beings to thrust in and out of you. His hips slam into yours, his movements quick and strong. You bite your lip painfully, trying to keep the sounds of pleasure from pouring out of your mouth as he pounds you from behind, your eyes rolling into your head as he hits your most sensitive point over and over again.

The way he moves, the hunger in his actions, is making this whole thing ten times more erotic. Your pussy is aching, knowing that you made him feel this way, feel this desperate and ravenous for his release.

You can hear your pussy squelching, his cock slamming in and out of you. You’re close to your high, his hand clamping tightly on your mouth, silencing your moans and screams of delight.

He feels your centre clenching around his shaft, his body knowing yours well, knowing you’re close to the edge. He keeps up his thrusts, his hand tightening on your hair as he exposes your neck, sucking on your sweet spot.

You feel like you can’t take it, your body desperate and crazy for orgasm.

When it hits, you bite Happy’s hand, your screams coming out as tiny squeals. Your body convulses, shaking as your vision is splattered with stars. The intensity of your orgasm is shattering, the feeling overtaking you as your boyfriend rides you through it, the feel of tightening around him enough to send his come deep up into you, thick ropes of his hot liquid spurting.

He removes his hand from your mouth, carefully pulling out of you as he watches his come ooze out of your pussy. He pulls up his clothes, buckling his pants as you stumble, trying to pull your underwear up, your body weak.

He chuckles at you, assisting you in making yourself presentable. He spins you around, pulling your lips to his again, his hands squeezing your waist as yours wrap around his neck.

“I love you.” You tell him, pulling away bringing your hands to slide down his chest.

“I love you too.” He repeats, kissing you on the forehead. Linking your hand with his, you both begin to walk back up to the party. “We should fuck outside more often.”

You smack him playfully on the arm, his face sporting a cheeky grin as you look at him.

“So that’s where you scuttled off to.” You both look up, a smug Tig Trager in your path. You groan, turning to bury your face into Happy’s chest. “A quickie in the woods.”

“We sure did.” Happy tells him, his tone mischevious and proud.

“At least invite me next time, guys. You know I hate feeling left out.” Laughing, you push Tig out the way, trying to smooth your hair down as you walk to the restroom. What an eventful night.

A/N - Hope you liked this! I wrote this so easily which was great, it all just sort of came together :) the next one probably be about the reader and one of the boys (not sure which yet) only being a few months into their relationship and he finds out she’s got depression. Thanks for reading :)

Originally posted by lowmans

I want you to remember me as someone with gentle eyes and forgiving hands. Remember me as a haven. A source of comfortable silence when the world gets too loud and jaded. I want you to remember me loving in the most honest way I know how.

Shoutout to @ladybuvelle for making me cry like a baby with her


“Say something, I’m giving up on you”
“….”
And she couldn’t say a word, even when it mattered most.


Because can you feel the pain? Can you? It’s almost as if I can hear it! And it’s breaking my heart and oh damn the “we’ve been communicating without words for the longest time but now this silence is getting too loud and I actually need you to speak and you can’t so I can’t take it” thing is - is - I can’t hide I’m a sucker for Jayce-Sona (or for any DRAMATIC pairing in general poor me).

I do believe I forgot how to draw so it looks kinda crooked but, please have this it’s drawn in tears and it’s my super little thank you.

ALSO shoutout to EVERYONE who commented because DAMN you know how to make me clench my chest so I’ll definitely sketch more and it’s all your fault.
(bless you all bless your angst)

3

Elgara busted a couple of ribs after Corypheus threw her full-force at the base of the trebuchet. She took the landing beneath Haven on her hip, too. The bruises run deep. 

Still, it was better than being buried alive by an avalanche or crushed to death under the weight of the mountain.

Clouds and silver linings and all that lot, right?

But...That Was My Dad

Author: Emmalee

Player/Team: Matthew Tkachuk/Calgary Flames

Prompt: Meeting Matt Tkachuk’s parents!!! Thanks!

Rating: Pg

Word Count: 1,500 Words

A/N: Okay so I wasn’t even that pumped about this, but then I started writing and oh look at that. 1500 words. I honestly am so proud of this. This is probably my fav thing I’ve ever written, tbh. Yeah so enjoy me being REALLY enthusiastic about Matthew Tkachuk’s fam.

Thanks, loves!! Xx Em


Keep reading

4

Hey…” Harrison started through a tired rasp as his callous features melted into a state of solace; an expression you’d never before seen grace his features. “You’re awake.”

Yeah…” You replied before sitting up; an action you immediately regretted after feeling the rough jab of pain shoot through the wound at your side. You cringed and lightly slapped a hand over the freshly stitched laceration before groaning and closing your eyes.

“No-Don’t…” Harry tried, reaching across the blood cell separator to make a grab for your shoulder with the arm that hadn’t been wired to the machine between you. “Don’t move. You lost a lot of blood.”

Your gaze dropped to the needle in Harrison’s arm; a bright stream of crimson liquid flowing through the clear cord before filtering through the cell separator and pushing into your body… “So did you, apparently.”

“Apparently.”

You blushed because sitting in a quiet room, save for the dull beep from the machine between you, as Harry gave you his blood was oddly intimate. 

“You look tired.” You finally said after the silence started getting too loud.

“I was up all night.”

Oh…” Biting your lip, you allowed your eyes to drift over the planes of his face; the dips along his throat where a dusting of blood splatter had dried against his skin and shirt, giving evidence to the extreme measures he took to save your life. “So, I didn’t know you were good at baseball.”

“She hurt you.” He responded before pursing his lips and dropping his gaze… After some maniacal bitch with colorful pigtails and a shrill voice broke into the lab, took you hostage, and shoved a knife into your side, Harrison all but snapped and grabbed the nearest thing he could get his hands on - one of Joe’s old baseball bats that had been lying around - before swinging and busting it over her jaw. “I was scared…”

You blinked. “Of her?”

“No… You blacked out. I was afraid I might…” He paused before lifting his head and latching his stare to you. “I needed you to look at me.” He said slowly. “I was afraid I’d never see those eyes again…” Harrison shook his head and watched you, his eyes silently pleading - screaming - for something only you could give. “I wasn’t ready to let you go.”

“I’m here.” You whispered. You were shackled to that sharpened gaze of his and could do little more than sink into the depths of his impossibly blue eyes… Lifting your arm, you reached over the machine and dragged your fingers over his bicep, causing him to catch your wrist in a desperate hold and pitch himself sideways to press your hand to his forehead as he drew in a jittery breath. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

(X) (X) (~♫♪~)

(1) Request: can you do some sort of imagine where you’re threatened in front of Harry, like in the new promos. you do so well with prompts like this, it would be awesome to see what you could come up with

(2) Request: can I request some Harrison fluff? Maybe after the reader gets hurt? Ily!!

fall in love with somebody who understands that you need the silence 
that you do not love them any less because you need to leave for a while to be alone
with yourself
fall in love with somebody who understands that you need the silence because some days,
some days your mind gets too loud and your thoughts get too clouded and its hard for you to even hear yourself, let alone anybody else
fall in love with somebody who understands that you need the silence because you wish to believe, wish to believe that it is possible to escape
to run away
and to never come back
fall in love with somebody who knows that you will always come home
that no matter how long you run for, no matter how long you are gone for, you will always be back
fall in love with somebody who understands that you need the silence
a silent;
place,
moment,
memory 
a particular quietness within
someone who understands that that silence is a part of the soul, and not the mind
someone who will not need to ask where your mind is
what you are thinking about when you are tracing raindrops on top of the windowsill with your head resting against the glass
someone who will know you do not need to gather your dispersed thoughts
not right now anyway,
not yet
fall in love with somebody who understands

anonymous asked:

linstead + army (mostly jay ptsd and erin being there for him)

When I actually sat down to work on this request, I realized there’s about a thousand different interpretations of this ask, which is unfortunate because I’m not sure which you wanted. Hopefully, you’ll still enjoy the results. I decided to just go fiction-padded but canon-verse PTSD, because I could write for days about AU Jay and the military without some limitations in place.

Also, about the third one, all I have to say is oops.

1.

It happened on his second tour—out on patrol, laughing over Mouse’s latest sand joke, with Keller behind the wheel, the new guy in the back seat with mouse—and there were too many bushes and shadows to make out the IED before they were on top of it. The Humvee flipped, his head smashed into the door frame, setting his ears ringing despite his helmet. Someone was screaming—Mouse? Henderson? Jay has to string the words together because Keller is unconscious—please, just be passed out. They all walk away but Jay still gets hyperaware in any kind of vehicle, gripping the handhold to center himself or the steering wheel if he happens to be driving. For a long while, he’s able to keep the anxiety under wraps, distracting Erin with some sarcastic comment. But then the anniversary of Keller’s death rolls around, he goes two days without sleep because the nightmares are so bad, and it’s still early in his partnership with Erin so she doesn’t know. The final straw is when they get in a car-chase—Voight and Antonio are in the lead which is the only good part—and they’re hitting potholes at 60MPH that throw them around the car interior like ragdolls. Jay tries to hold on, eyes squeezed shut, dragging in breaths to slow his heart rate, but his fingers twitch to feel for Keller’s pulse and he can taste blood in the air. “Stop the car, Erin.” He bites out through clenched teeth. “Pull over!” Erin swears and jerks them out of the lane and to the side. He’s stumbling out of the 300 almost before it’s stopped and he hears Erin’s door open and shut as he grabs at a nearby wall for support, doubling over as his body rebels. “What the hell was that, Halstead—“ his partner starts just as Jay throws up, no longer able to control the panic spiraling in his veins, making his head spin. Erin’s voice cuts off abruptly and then there’s a tentative hand on his back, soothing and more importantly, grounding.Take it easy, Jay. I’ll radio Voight that we’re delayed.” Jay breathes in through his nose, leaning back against the wall and lets the tangy mixture of Chinese food and car exhaust remind him he’s not in the desert anymore. Coming back from the 300, Erin stands in front of him, a line in her brow telling of her confusion, her concern, but she doesn’t ask. And Jay is grateful.

2.

It’s a relatively small issue but Jay hates when it’s too hot outside. He tends to be fine in Chicago because the summers can be broiling but they’re also humid and considering Afghanistan is the most bone-dry place Jay has ever been, the moisture is usually enough to keep his head clear. But if it’s unusually dry, so that the heat sticks in his throat and deadens the air, reminding him of days laying in coarse sand, the sun beating down on them, Jay feels like he’s suffocating. The first summer they got weather like that, it was short enough that Jay was able to keep Erin from realizing how much it bothered him, but it’s been two years since then and they practically live together now. Erin notices within hours that he’s on edge and knows for sure something’s wrong when he cranks the A/C up to the highest setting and leans over so that it blows directly on his face. But she doesn’t say anything, doesn’t question the reason, just stops over at a gas station to get a cold pack and a drink still frosted from the cooler. She presses the cool pack to the back of his neck, touch lingering for a moment before she puts the 300 back into gear and leaves the power drink in the cup holder for him when he’s ready. It’s not a lot but it’s enough that he’s able to get through the day.

3.

They’re in the Escalade—Erin in the front with Hank, Jay and Antonio in the backseat—when they get blindsided by a semi. The crunch is heart-stopping, seatbelts snapping taut as the truck rolls six times, screeches down an incline, before ramming to a stop against a nearby warehouse, wheels up and engine smoking. Erin’s hands dangle above her head but her knees are trapped by the crushed nose of the Escalade and she has to force herself to breathe past her cinched seatbelt. The ringing in her ears is overpowering and distracting but Erin can hear someone panting, gasping, and tries to force her eyes open but realizes after the fact that blood is dripping down her cheek. Her tongue is swollen, metallic tang filling her mouth but Erin tries to call out, “-ank, Hank? Jay. Jay—“ And she remembers why it’s so urgent to get her partner to respond a beat later, because they’d been dealing with a resurgence of his nightmares again and now they’re trapped in a car, smoke beginning to taint the air, like when he lost his teammate overseas and she has to get to him. “Jay!” There’s a kick against the back of her seat and groan of pain and Jay’s voice, low and anxious—“Antonio? You okay?” The man in question mumbles in response and then Erin feels a touch brush against the back of her neck. “Erin, talk to me. Erin?” She chokes on her relief, tasting blood and has to tell herself not to fight to be free, not when she’s trapped like this. “Jay, I can’t get my knees free. Can you see Hank?” Jay’s the one most mobile, getting out of his seatbelt and Erin has to order him to get Antonio out first even though the initial adrenaline is wearing off and she can feel pain begin to burn through her. She’s the last one he comes for—Jay, it’s Hank, I won’t leave him here and I can’t, Erin, please, just let me get you out—and the Escalade hasn’t caught fire yet but she knows it’s close. Jay forces her crushed door to open and Erin can see that he’s so close to losing it when he squeezes in to assess the damage, and she tries to summon a smile, for him. How Jay frees her from the wreckage is beyond Erin’s hazy grasp, but she holds tight to his shoulders, burying her face between his neck and his collar. The choked whimper that escapes her is unavoidable when Jay eases her out and gets them both clear. Erin hears Antonio, groggy but functioning, asking if she’s okay but she just wants to know about Hank. He’s still knocked out, which is concerning in and of itself, but there’s no further injuries that they can find. Erin sits on the road, one of Jay’s legs supporting her back, and grips one of his hands in her own. He’s fighting the memories, she can tell by how his breathing is erratic, stopping and starting at odd intervals, but Erin leans her forehead against his jaw while they wait for the ambo and Jay finds it a little easier to breathe. (It’s that night, in the hospital for overnight observation, when Jay rubs her cold hands that he whispers, “I was going to lose it. I was so close—I could hear them again, but you—you saved all of us, Erin. I couldn’t have gotten us out if you hadn’t—“ and Erin beckons him forward so she can press a gentle kiss to his mouth. “That’s why you have a partner.”)

4.

What surprises Erin is that utter silence unnerves Jay to the point of him being unable to sit still. She picks up on it when they go for their first long weekend to the cabin. They spend the whole afternoon tramping through the forest, use the last hour of sunlight to splash through the lake, then Jay tries to educate Erin—city girl to the extreme—on the joys of a wood fire. Three blindings by acrid smoke, one coughing fit, and a dozen mosquito bites later, Erin has to disagree. They escape inside where Erin locks him out of the bathroom so she can shower before the limited hot water runs out. The night hours are whittled away with quiet, languid conversation, until Erin’s almost asleep because they’d driven through the night hours to arrive after a busy week and the stillness is lulling. Jay scoops her up to carry her to bed and Erin sleeps fine until halfway through the night, she’s awoken by Jay getting up off the narrow mattress—and not coming back. Groggy but coming around quickly, Erin lays still so she can listen. He paces the length of the cabin, stops by the small front window, then goes to the small kitchenette. The fridge opens, shuts again, then he walks back to the couch that blocks off the “living room” portion of the cabin. Erin hears him sit down and pushes up on her elbows with a creased brow when muted strains of music drift to her. She listens in silence while Jay blows out a long breath and it’s another while before he shuffles back to the bed. The music still plays in the other room and Erin welcomes him back with a hand sliding around his waist. It doesn’t make sense to her, she can’t figure out the why, but she knows the what. Jay likes the cabin for the peace but the silence gets too loud after the sun sets. Her uneven hum is what helps him to sleep the rest of the night.

5.

Erin Lindsay got the first inkling of the past her partner had when Burgess got him to admit that he’d been in the Army—but nothing more. Two years of partnership tells her some but it’s not until the dawn of the third year—the one who dragged him home when he was going through—that Erin realizes that her partner, her Jay, has a deeper undertow than he’s ever let her witness. They get back together, content filling her in a way she didn’t know was possible, and it’s like it was before, until it’s not. Until Jay stays the night because the case tore him apart and Erin gets jarred awake that night by what she first takes as Jay suffocating—gasping, choking, suffering—and that’s when she gets introduced to the nightmares. They argue about the traumatic stress, sometimes, when Erin’s trying to push through the gray, to figure how to help him because she knows that he needs it, that ignoring everything he went through is not the way to handle this, but Jay fights back because he wants so badly to be normal again, to not have to worry about the scarring on his soul. She’s on the verge of wondering if he’s ever going to trust her enough to let her in and then his other partner, the man with a wife and a child, is killed. Erin knows the significance when Jay lets her straighten his uniform, staring down at her with a weighted gaze. He can’t talk about it but he can show her—and Erin accepts it as enough.

8

one tree hill » I Can’t See You, But I Know You’re There

“Hi, Luke. Nathan left for camp today and the house is pretty quiet. There should be more time for me to write. I’ve been feeling better lately but I still think about my mom a lot. I still feel her sometimes, hear her voice, see her smile. The truth is I miss her. I miss you, I miss Peyton, and Keith, and Karen. And Nathan while he’s gone. But it helps to have Quinny closer. The truth is, when it gets really quiet, when the silence gets too loud, when I really start to miss everyone, I tell myself the same thing: I can’t see you, but I know you’re there.”

There's Nothing to Lose and Nothing to Prove

Laura jumped as the door slammed unexpectedly behind her; a small amount of cocoa sloshed out of her favourite TARDIS mug and onto her desk, burning her hand in the process. She swivelled round in her chair, a disapproving expression already apparent as she faced her roommate. However her annoyed demeanour dissipated as soon as she set eyes on Carmilla. Her hair was dishevelled, her clothes subpar to their usual level of punk badassery and although her head rested on her tucked up knees, Laura could see she had been crying. “Hey.” She asked quietly “You okay?” The vampire shuffled closer to the wall, turning so that her back faced Laura.

“Go away, Creampuff.” Carmilla replied gruffly, anger was evident in her tone but there was something else…something empty about her voice. Laura stood up from her desk chair and instead sat down gently on the foot of Carmilla’s bed.

“I’m not leaving you alone until you tell me what’s wrong, Carm.” The other girl visibly stiffened at the nickname but said nothing; the silence stretched between them, spreading throughout the room like a suffocating cloud until Carmilla breathed out a sigh of resignation, blowing away the fog. “Fine.” The dark brunette turned to face the younger girl; her eyes dropped to the floor as she mumbled something unintelligible.

“What was that?” Laura asked, her face a mask of confusion- Carmilla looked up and couldn’t help but smirk at Laura’s furrowed brows and cocked head.

“Today is my birthday.” She said sadly, with a small duck of her head. The younger girl jumped up and gasped, she began running around the room in a similar fashion to that of a headless chicken babbling about how she felt awful for not knowing. The brunette’s actions would have normally brought a small smile to Carmilla’s pale face however today was not one of those occasions. “Laura.” She tried to gather the small girl’s attention but to no avail “Laura.” She tried again and still she ran around the room, looking for something she evidently could not find. “Laura!” The vampire practically yelled, effectively grabbing Laura’s attention as she silently stopped, dropping the pen she was holding. “I don’t care about presents- after 317 birthdays you kind of just want to forget about it.” The brunette crossed her legs loosely and gestured for Laura to come and sit beside her. The younger girl complied and returned to her previous seat on the bed. “Thank you.” Carmilla sighed resolutely, fully aware of the fact that Laura would now expect her to tell her the entire story. Her roommate looked at her with barley contained curiosity. “I told you about how I was murdered at a ball when I was 18.” It wasn’t a question but Laura nodded anyway. “It wasn’t just any old ball…it was for my 18th birthday.”

“You were murdered on your 18th birthday!?” Laura exclaimed, unable to contain herself

“Yes, Cutie, I was. So today is not only my 318th birthday but the anniversary of my death.” She turned away slightly “So forgive me for not feeling like celebrating.” Laura mulled this over for a while before she chose her words carefully.

“So what you mean to tell me is that you never actually got to celebrate your 18th birthday?”

“Yes, weren’t you listening?” Carmilla rolled her eyes in distaste. The two girls sat for a while longer before Laura sprung up, turning to the vampire.

“I’ll be back in a few minutes, don’t torch anything okay?” She dashed out the door, grabbing her coat off the hook before slamming it behind her, deaf ears fell upon Carmilla’s outcry of:

“It was one time!”

Around ten minutes later Laura returned from wherever she had been carrying a ludicrous amount of food, soda and alcohol in her small arms. Carmilla’s eyebrows almost shot off her head in surprise. “Whaaaaat are you doing?” The vampire asked as Laura dumped the contents of her arms onto her bed and whizzed round with a wide grin gracing her features.

“We.” She gestured to both of them “Are going to celebrate your 18th birthday and this time no one is going to be murdered.” She seemed delighted with her idea, Carmilla on the other hand, was not so thrilled with the concept.

“Sweet Cheeks, I just told you I don’t want to celebrate not 15 minutes ago.”

“Come on Carm, live it a little! I swear you’ll have fun. It may not be a huge ball with flouncy dresses, a live orchestra and wine that costs more than our tuition fees but it will be good; I promise.” Carmilla debated over this for a small time before realising this would not doubt be a battle she wouldn’t win, and what did she say about surviving to be centuries old? Choose your battles.

“Fine… but this never happened okay? I have a reputation here you know.” Laura’s face split into a wide grin and she jumped onto Carmilla’s bed, handing her a coke and some chocolate.

“Let’s do this!” The brunette grinned again and used the remote Carmilla had not realised she had been holding to turn on the stereo.

Around an hour later Carmilla was increasingly happy that she had agreed to go through this because Laura had gotten slightly tipsy and was currently dancing around the room with her once pristinely tied back hair flowing over her shoulders in slightly tousled golden waves. “Come on Carm, dance with me!” The younger girl tried to pull Carmilla up from her bed but she was no match for the vampire.

“I’m perfectly happy watching you, Sweetie.” She replied, still firmly seated on the plush mattress.

“Come on.” Laura tried again but the vampire still shook her head, an amused smirk playing on her lips. Laura tried to stare Carmilla down but the darker brunette has a far more intimidating glare than the slightly tipsy human; they were snapped out of their gaze however when a knock sounded on their door. Laura stumbled over to answer it, Carmilla tried not to laugh- the girl wasn’t even drunk! But after many trips and almost face-plants Laura managed to answer the incessant knocking; the young girl opened the large wooden door to find an annoyed looking Perry and a grinning LaFontaine.

“Sounds to me like you guys are having a party in here!” LaFontaine grinned even wider, taking in Laura’s dishevelled appearance, the empty bottles and snacks dotted around the room. Perry still seemed to be annoyed however.

“Indeed, and we are trying to study.”

“Oh yeah, it’s C’s birthday so I’m giving her a party to remember.” The smaller ginger, gave Carmilla a highly suggestive look- she had been trying to get those two together for God knows how long now. The vampire simply feigned innocence with a small smile.

“And you didn’t invite us! Dude, I’m hurt.” LaF put a hand to their heart and faked hurt.

“No, no, no, no you can totally come in. Right Carm?” Laura turned to the dark brunette with a pleading smile and puppy dog eyes- they struck the vampire right in her unbeating heart so she agreed with minimal resistance. Perry on the other hand was having none of it; she grabbed LaFontaine’s arm as she stepped over the threshold.

“Susan. We are supposed to be studying- we need to set an example.” However LaF was sick of studying and determined to have some fun.

“Come on Perr, when was the last time we just let go and had fun?” The floor Don retained her unimpressed expression but Carmilla could see she was considering the proposal. After another minute of awkward silence she finally relented.

“Fine- but it better not get too loud.”

“Yes!” LaF whooped and dragged the girl in by the hand while Laura shut it behind them they helped themselves to some drinks. “So how old are you then?” The short haired ginger asked, bouncing onto Carmilla’s bed in their usual manner.

“Don’t you know it’s impolite to ask a lady? This generation- no manners.” She replied coolly, the ginger looked slightly shaken but Carmilla held her gaze a while longer before smirking “318.” LaFontaine realised she’d been punked but their smile did not last long as it was replaced with a look of wonder.

“318! I knew you were old but I didn’t think you were that old.” Laura laughed and handed Perry some chips. Around an hour later Perry and LaFontaine were hammered and stumbling around attempting to dance to the ever growing louder music. The vampire had to admit that she was having fun, simply watching Laura trying to dance with the others brought a genuine smile to her face.

“Carm, come and dance!” The small girl tried to pull her up off the bed- the touch of her hand on the vampire’s arm made her tingle all over luckily LaFontaine interrupted them.

“I’m going to go and get some more drinks- I will be back!” They called, throwing up their arm and spinning out the door. Shortly after Perry collapsed onto Laura’s bed and fell asleep. The two girls laughed in unison and Laura came to sit on Carmilla’s bed with her.

The two sat in silence for a while before Laura wrapped her arm through Camilla’s and rested her head on the taller girl’s shoulder.

“What was it like?” She asked, Carmilla rested her cheek on top of Laura’s head as she replied

“What was what like?”

“The parties back when you were young, the dancing, and the music- how did it feel?” She thought about this for a while and then replied.

“It was all…quite regal and organised. There was a code of how to act and which dances to do- they weren’t nearly as fun as tonight.” She admitted, Laura looked up and Carmilla smiled down at the girl; Laura grinned back and said:

“I’ve always wanted to dance. Properly you know?” She buried her head further into Carmilla’s neck “I’ve never been able to, two left feet me.” The vampire bit her lip as she considered the next step to take ‘Screw it’ she thought. Surprising Laura, Carmilla stood up and grabbed Laura’s arm, spinning her so that they both faced each other. “Carm…what are you doing?” Laura asked as she steadied herself, suddenly very sober.

“I am gonna teach you how to dance, Cutie.” The vampire took Laura’s left hand and laced their fingers together. The younger girl’s mouth went dry and goose bumps rose all across her skin. Carmilla wrapped her arm around Laura’s waist and pulled their bodies so close that their chests touched; a small smile made its way across Laura’s lips and Carmilla smirked. This had gone far better than she had expected. “So we’re gonna go for a simple waltz, all you have to do is move your feet in a box shape; like this.” She demonstrated the steps to Laura who was looking rather confused. “Just count to three in your head, two counts and you should have completed the box.” Carmilla demonstrated again, counting out loud so Laura could hear her- the brunette nodded with a small smile, still shocked by how close Carmilla was holding her.

She tried to dance in the formation Carmilla told her but to no avail, she stumbled and if it wasn’t for Carmilla’s vampire speed she would have clattered to the floor- instead she was caught in the vampire’s strong yet slender arms. “Thanks.” She breathed out with an embarrassed smile.

“Not a problem, Sweetie.” She hoisted her up and repositioned their arms. “Come on, try again- I know you can do it.” Carmilla has never talked to Laura in such a patient and kind way before…it was surprisingly nice. Laura once again tried the steps and this time didn’t fall over, she tried again and completed the steps, then Carmilla joined in. The sudden addition of two more feet confused her for a while but after another few turns they both started to move in unison, they danced across to the larger area of the room where Carmilla twirled Laura and then dipped her, easily holding up her small frame. A wide smile, a genuine, unsarcastic smile graced Carmilla’s lips as she gazed down at Laura, who clung to her- not in fear but with kindness. Laura was suddenly struck by her beauty, it wasn’t like she hadn’t noticed Carmilla before but now the full force of her attractiveness hit Laura like a crashing wave; she was glad the vampire was holding her otherwise she was afraid her legs may give way. If Carmilla’s heart could beat she was sure it would be going a mile a minute- the way Laura was looking at her, there was no distrust, no loathing, nothing of any unkindness just…care. “You okay there Laura?” The darker brunette asked, suddenly realising it was the first time she had used her real name. It surprised the both of them but had the most effect on Laura. She wrapped her arms more tightly around Carmilla’s neck and began to pull herself upwards but Carmilla met her half way, crashing their lips together in a passionate kiss.

Nothing could have prepared them for the feeling of kissing each other, it was a hundred sunrises all breaking over the horizon at once that gave Carmilla no discomfort. It was a thousand nights of freedom that Laura never had from her father. It was a million days wasted that you suddenly got to relive. The kiss seemed to last for hours, it was so cliché but so true, however it only lasted a minute. The two girls broke apart, Laura gasping for air, Carmilla not needing to but still panting with exhaustion.

“Wow.” Laura breathed, a look of utter contentment and joy plastered on her face “That was…”

“I know.” The vampire interrupted. “I can’t tell you how long I’ve wanted to do that.” They held on for a little longer before the door banged upon to reveal LaFontaine carrying an armful of drinks, they paused however upon noticing the two girls who were still loosely holding each other’s hands. They furrowed their brows as their lips twitched up into a smirk.

“Am I interrupting something?”

There is a moment when you will wonder how you got here.
You are standing in the shower, and are thinking about how the water hitting the floor sounds a little bit like rain. You love the rain.
You will step out and wrap yourself in a towel while admiring the quiet. You will hold the silence in your heart so you can have it when life gets too loud. You will think about him.
It will be a different him.
This him has not hurt you, he has not scarred you, he has not taken you and thrown you away, he has not broken you (at least not yet). And in that moment, you will wonder how you got here.
There was a moment, you know this, when he looked at you without blinking and you thought how unique it was to finally have someone who was not afraid to stare at something so broken. You will feel something in your heart that you thought you would never feel again. It is intrigue. It is wonder. It is an unfamiliar notion, to you. You have spent so much time building up walls that it never occurred to you that someday there would be someone to break them down. It is a chance to love again. It is a chance to be loved again. Take it.
—  Take chances in love and in life, you never know when they will come around again (AE)