What Super Powers Do You Need To Survive An Interaction With The Police?
In this world, there exists many things by which we cannot explain. Perhaps the more adept literati amongst us would classify the concept of love as being one such thing. The crass and justifiably cynical would probably categorize the entire music catalog of each and every YMCMB label artist as being another point in the itemization of things that defy explanation. (Especially you Mack Maine. Rumor is that the day Lil Wayne got a Keurig is the day you were out of a job.) However, the institutional racism as evidenced in the continued practices of police forces throughout America is not something that is beyond the realm of explanation. In fact, as far as documented policy and federally sanctioned law enforcement techniques go, it reads like Google Maps in terms of tracing its antecedent.
Recent events have served, once again, to remind black and brown people of their conditional status as citizens* in this country. Notice that the asterisk next to the word “citizen” denotes the particulars of our existence like an Itunes Terms and Conditions Agreement. Once more, we are forced to participate in the grim tradition of reducing the entirety of our identity to that of a hashtag whose peak is attaining the coveted “trending” status alongside the latest Ariana Grande news and Pokemon GO related fatalities. Again, we have to confront our mortality through the violent medium of state sanctioned murder and, as far as national pastimes go, I rank it right behind whatever ritual sacrifices are keeping Miley Cyrus culturally relevant. It almost makes one wish that they were stronger than their physiology allows them to be. In an era dominated by the superhero movie, would it be so far-fetched to imagine yourself as a condom-like latex wearing superhero with a Liberace-infringing cape billowing dramatically in the wind? Of course not! With that in mind, here are some suggestions as to what superhero identities and powers would be more efficient against the tyranny of racially biased murder by way of law enforcement.
Benefit Of The Doubt Man
Philando Castile, a seemingly ordinary civilian that wields the incredible power of not being connected to any, and possibly all, crimes happening in a thirty-mile radius around his person despite the logistic impossibility of such a thing even happening. Also not arbitrarily pulled over for having a “wide-set” nose.
Castile worked as a cafeteria supervisor at J.J. Hill Montessori School in St. Paul. Was an honors student at St. Paul Central High School, “where he was a straight-A student.”
Powers: Possessing a preternatural ability not being shot dead in front of his girlfriend and daughter while in his car as a consequence of being in compliance with officer demands. Is licensed to carry and has a permit that is in compliance with Minnesota state law. Can also shoot lasers from his eyes, but only on every other Wednesday.
Nemesis: Rudy “Rude” Giuliani
Anything But Bland Woman
Sandra Bland is a mild-mannered administrator for a foodservice equipment supplier by day, an average commuter on state roads and highways by night. When danger is around every corner, Sandra reminds herself that it’s just the police and, by law, she is assured humane treatment by any and all police if she should veer happen to be in their custody. Like the rest of us, she would be shocked to learn that this assumption would be proven false.
Powers: Her exceptional proficiency in being just another citizen subject to all the laws regarding the operation of a motor vehicle on the road. Never a victim of a police suppressed death while in their custody. Afforded the same basic tenets of humanity that our constitution grants all citizens. Also has HBO Go.
She attended Willowbrook High School in Villa Park, Illinois, then Prairie View A&M University outside Hempstead in Waller County, Texas, where she was a member of the Sigma Gamma Rho sorority. She graduated in 2009 with a degree in agriculture.At Prairie View, she was recruited as a summer counselor for three years, played in a band, and volunteered for a senior citizens advocacy group.
Nemesis: The repeated exoneration of fatally reckless police officers that further validates a criminally broken system.
Freddie Gray is the secret identity of the hero the world knows as Spinal Tap! Although he has a troubled past, any true believer will acknowledge that that does not exclude him from his God given right to life. This dexterous character enjoys the continued function of his spine and is lucky to be blessed with not encountering law enforcement so brutish as to use enough excessive force to sever said spine.
Powers: A fully functional spine and the power of being tried in adherence with due process and not extrajudicially murdered while in police custody. Kind of looks like Tyrese and Kevin Hart after the Fusion Dance.
Nemesis: A disaffected public who maintains the belief that past criminal behavior defines and determines a human being. That prior conviction somehow erodes a person’s right to live yet does not sense the inherent irony in claiming that “All Lives Matter.”
These are just a few of the hypothetical heroes and their corresponding powers most believe you’d need to survive an encounter with law enforcement. it would behoove you to acquire these powers and maybe even some more not listed here as a bit of extra insurance. At the very least, having such extraordinary abilities will at least grant you the same rights as non-people of color. Until then, us true believers will have to be content with saying these names over and over again while simultaneously fearing the next, inevitable, addition to the list.
We got a preview of our engagement photos and they came out better than I ever dreamed! Because our fraternity (Kappa Alpha Psi) and sorority (Sigma Gamma Rho) have a relationship known as Indiana Love, we decided to use that as the theme for our engagement photos, and we shot on Northrup Mall at my alma mater, University of Minnesota.
I am so overjoyed that I’m marrying the love of my life. I love this man so much, he’s my friend, my partner, my protector, my confidant, my cheerleader, my sounding board, and everything else. He’s my heart, my soul, my better half & I’m so excited to become his wife :-)
University of Alabama Chi Omega Chapter members caught in another yet offensive act. These members got expelled and this is the statement the chapter released.
Please read below for an important message regarding our Nu Beta Chapter at the University of Alabama:
Chi Omega is aware of the image that has been circulating via social media and we have been in communication with The University of Alabama administration. What was expressed is absolutely reprehensible and completely inconsistent with Chi Omega’s values and policies. Chi Omega took swift disciplinary action in accordance with the organization’s policies and procedures. The woman who took the photo is no longer a member of the chapter.
Chi Omega embraces women from all walks of life, who come together to form a network of friends with high standards and similar values. The Chi Omega chapter at the University of Alabama pledged a diverse group of young women, which included several new members who self-identified as minorities, including two African-American women.“
I like how they throw they got two members who are black. In all honesty why would a black girl to join a predominantly white sorority. The National Panhellenic Council have 26 sororities and they all historically white. Doesn’t mean they don’t accept black folks and others but know they are predominantly white. About every state university have National Pan-Hellenic Council, sororities or black sororities, and other multicutural organizations you don’t have to go for the ones in the panhellenic council. If you black and don’t know your black sororities please get to know them. Because I’m tired of seeing black girls dealing with this issue.
On Monday morning, Sandra Bland, a 28-year-old businesswomen and member of Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Inc. was found dead in a Texas jail cell and many are angrily questioning the official police report which claims she committed suicide.
Sandra Bland was found dead in her jail cell in Waller County, Texas, at 9 a.m. after being arrested for allegedly assaulting a police officer during a routine traffic stop. Sheriff’s deputies say her death appears to be suicide by “self-inflicted asphyxiation.”
Bland was pulled over last Friday while on her way to her alma mater, Prairie View A&M University, for a speech on child welfare, civil rights, and social issues. Waller County Sheriff’s Department officials say that she was stopped for improper signaling a lane change. They say she was charged with “Assault on a Public Servant” and taken into custody by a Texas Department of Public Safety trooper.
The police have now have turned the investigation over to Texas Rangers. Some family members and friends say Bland was found hanging in the jail cell, but authorities have not confirmed the exact circumstances around her death.
The sheriff’s department press release states that they applied CPR, but Bland was pronounced dead shortly after she was found.
The ABC7 I-Team in Chicago has reached out to Bland’s friends and relatives who say they do not believe the official version of what happened. The are suspecting that this is a case of foul play in a county with a history racial intolerance.
On behalf of the family of Soror Sandra Bland, Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Inc. has released this official statement on our website to bring the family’s wishes regarding this tragedy to light. At this sensitive time, please respect the wishes of her family and remain patient while we all wait for answers and for the truth to come to light. Thank you.
(15 May 1919 – 6 September 2005) was Prime Minister of Dominica from 21 July 1980 until 14 June 1995. She was Dominica’s first, and to date only, female prime minister, as well as the nation’s longest-serving prime minister. She was the second female prime minister in the Caribbean after Lucinda da Costa of the Netherlands Antilles, and the first woman elected in her own right as head of government in the Americas. She was the world’s third longest-serving female Prime Minister, behind Indira Gandhi of India and Sirimavo Bandaranaike of Sri Lanka, and the world’s longest continuously serving female Prime Minister ever.
Charles was born in the fishing village of Pointe Michel in Saint Luke parish, to a “coloured bourgeoise” family. She attended Convent School in Dominica, then, island’s only girls’ secondary school, and became interested in law while working at the colonial magistrate’s court. She worked for many years as assistant to Alastair Forbes.
She attended university in Toronto, Ontario, Canada, before moving to the United Kingdom to attend the London School of Economics. She was a member of the sorority Sigma Gamma Rho. She passed the bar and returned to Dominica, where she became the island’s first female lawyer, establishing a practice specialising in property law.
Charles never married nor had children, which caused friction for her in the male-dominated sphere of Caribbean politics. In 1991 she was made a Dame Commander of the Order of the British Empire.