A Way to You Again: Part 10
Pairings: Bucky x Reader
Word Count: 1913
Summary: Bucky and Y/N have been fairly successful at keeping their relationship hidden from the rest of the Avengers. That is… until Nat walks into the kitchen one night and finds Bucky kissing Y/N. While Y/N is relieved that their relationship is out in the open it soon becomes more complicated than she could have ever imagined.
Author’s Notes: Thanks to the lovely
for the request. Happy Birthday Bucky!
As my fist connected with the punching bag I felt a sense of relief. I tried not to envision Bucky’s face over and over, but the truth was – I had moved from heartbreak to anger after his behavior with Steve. My hands ached slightly as I continued my work.
“You’re probably going to regret not taping those up,” Nat’s voice floated quietly from behind me. I sighed heavily. Could no one in this fucking tower leave me alone for two seconds? Running away was becoming a much more desirable solution to my problems by the minute.
“What do you want, Nat?” I asked evenly as I continued to maneuver around the punching bag.
“To talk,” she responded quietly.
I steadied the bag with my hands as I laughed. “Everyone in this fucking tower seems to want to talk to me today, and you know what? I’m just not in a very talkative mood if I’m going to be completely honest. And why the fuck would you think I would want to talk to you?” I responded angrily as I turned towards her.
“I’m sorry,” she said clearly and loudly. The response disarmed me for a moment – I wasn’t planning on this being the conversation we were going to have.
“Sorry for what?” I stuttered back as I flexed my aching fingers.
“For what I said about Barnes…. For what I said about you. I was completely out of line.”
“It seemed like you didn’t care at the time,” I responded bitterly. I wasn’t ready to kiss and make up with anyone – especially her.
“I was… I was cruel and I’m so sorry. I was hurt by what he did, and I was angry at you which was unfair, but Y/N… he… Bucky loves you,” she responded sincerely as she walked towards me. Her last words hit me so heavily that I flinched at the sound of them.
“Did he put you up to this? Or are you just someone else that is trying to speak on his behalf when he could obviously not give a damn?” I asked bitterly as I crossed my arms in front of me.
“It’s your name,” she whispered.
“It’s your name he calls out in his sleep. Every night since he’s gotten back.”
I bit my bottom lip nervously at this. “Have they been bad?” I asked – my tone deflating with my anger.
“The worst I’ve seen in years,” she added as she sighed. “Look…. Barnes – he may have trouble telling you… but it’s clear that he’s terrified to lose you.”
“Thanks,” I muttered bitterly as I turned on my heel and headed for the showers.
The rest of the day was luckily uneventful for the most part. I had promised Wanda that I would take her shopping and she had held me to that promise – cornering me as soon as I had exited the shower. For the most part it was a happy distraction from an otherwise miserable day until she forced me to go into Victoria’s Secret.
“Y/N, come on. Surely Barnes is a lingerie man?” Wanda asked as she quirked an eyebrow up in question.
I laughed nervously. Bucky and I had only had sex once before everything fell apart. I had no idea what kind of “man” he was nor did I really care to think about it at the moment. “I don’t really know Wanda… I just…”
“Oh come on – we’re here. You might as well look,” she urged. I sighed internally. Why had I agreed to even come in the first place? In the end it was at least better than awkwardly staring at Bucky through the gaping hole in the wall of my bedroom.
“Fine,” I muttered bitterly as I snatched the black lingerie set out of Wanda’s hands and stomped towards the dressing room.
As the elevator doors opened my nostrils were filled with the smell of something delicious cooking. Wanda had dragged me around at least half of the city throughout the day. My stomach growled at the smell. I was ready to eat and sleep.
“Hey!” Sam called to us from the couch in the common room. “You guys have fun?”
“Lots!” Wanda exclaimed as she walked quickly over to the couch to show Sam everything she had found – of course he would feign interest just for her. Sam had always had a soft spot for Wanda. I was determined to try to quickly get to my room to deposit my own bags – especially the one holding the lingerie that Wanda had demanded I buy.
“What about you, Y/N?” Sam called over. At the mention of my name Bucky’s head peeked from around the corner leading to the kitchen – his eyes immediately zoning in on the pink striped bag. He may have been a man out of time, but he sure as hell was a man and knew immediately what the bag contained. His faced became clouded with confusion as his eyes met mine. “Y/N?” Sam asked again loudly – making me jump. I immediately blushed and caught a glimmer of humor in Bucky’s eyes as I turned to Sam.
“Yeah it was fun,” I muttered as I quickly made my way back to my room.
When I rejoined everyone they were making their way to the dining room.
“What’s for dinner? It smells amazing,” I asked Sam.
“Dunno – Barnes cooked it,” he shrugged. This peaked my interest – typically Bucky was exempt from making meals unless he volunteered, which he never did.
As we walked into the dinning room my breath hitched in my throat. He had made the meal he had prepared on our first date – complete with homemade breadsticks. I couldn’t help the small smile that spread across my face. As I took in the room my eyes finally found Bucky’s the corners of which crinkled subtly. It was clear by the look on his face that he had done this for me. What Bucky failed at with words he excelled in by actions. We all sat around the table and quickly set to forking food onto our plates. I sat next to Sam and Steve again, but Bucky sat directly in front of me –always keeping his eyes trained on me to assess my reactions. Everything about the meal was wonderful and for the first time since my arrival I felt carefree.
“Y/N – Barnes, we’re keeping you off this mission. Everyone leaves tomorrow morning so try not to break anything else,” Tony said sardonically as he looked at Bucky. At this announcement I almost choked on my wine.
“Everyone?” I asked.
“Yes everyone,” Tony replied matter-of-factly.
“Can I inquire as to why Bucky and I are the only two people that aren’t needed on this mission?” I asked as I tried to keep the panic out of my voice.
Tony shrugged at this. “Just see it as being able to spend some quality time together. Also concerning the wall— perhaps we should just remove it since you two are… you know,” Tony quirked an eyebrow at this. This time I did choke – causing Bucky to look at me in surprise. This was obviously Tony’s way of telling us to fix our shit because he wasn’t going to deal with it anymore. “Anyways – what is everyone up for tonight? Other than watching The Hangover,” he added as Sam opened his mouth to speak.
“Maybe we could watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind?” Bucky asked as he looked at me. Sam immediately moaned at the suggestion and I elbowed him in the ribs.
“Come on Sam. It’s my favorite movie and we haven’t watched it in forever!” I protested.
“Okay fine!” He whined in response.
“Well that’s settled then,” Tony announced as he rose from the table.
I sat on the couch waiting for Bucky to turn up before we started the movie. I felt like the day had made a dramatic shift for me. Each of Bucky’s actions had been carefully calculated to show how much he cared without crossing a line. I kept reminding myself that I still needed to be cautious. It seemed like every time I let myself have a tender moment with him something happened to further the hurt he had caused, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was different. Maybe it was the meal or him offering up my favorite movie to the group even though its story made him uncomfortable. Maybe it was hearing what he told Steve as they argued this morning…. or maybe it was Nat’s apology and revelation about the return of Bucky’s nightmares.
“You’re going to chew that thing off,” Bucky remarked as he looked at me with an amused grin. I jumped at the sound of his voice – I had been lost in thought waging my internal debate as I chewed on my bottom lip. He chuckled softly to himself before handing me my favorite blanket. As he settled down beside me I spread the blanket over both of us. He didn’t put his arm around me this time— rather settling for placing his hand near my own. As the movie started Bucky’s fingers curled lightly around my own causing me to wince. “What’s wrong?” he whispered.
“It’s nothing,” I grimaced as I mentally kicked myself for not taping my hands before practice. Bucky gently pulled my hand from under the blanket and examined it closely. My knuckles were certainly bruised. After shooting me a disapproving look he returned both of our hands back under the blanket. His hand took mine and began to expertly and gently massage each knuckle. I found his touch was still as intoxicating as the first time he had laced his fingers with mine.
Suddenly the movie paused and I looked around confused. Everyone was getting up to leave except for the two of us. “Where are you—” I began to ask but Tony cut me off.
“We all have to be up in the early morning hours. We’re going to call it a night, but you two should continue,” he said as a small smile formed on his face. “Goodnight,” he added with a wave before strolling out of the room. Everyone else said their goodnights and made their way to their rooms leaving just Bucky and myself.
“This feels like a set up,” I snorted indignantly as I stretched out on the couch. Bucky chuckled quietly at this. The tension between us was still uneasy, but no longer explosive. “Should we finish the movie?” I asked as I grabbed a pillow that Sam had tossed onto the floor and placed it beside Bucky before laying down. “I know you hate it,” I added.
“I don’t hate it, and even if I did – I would do anything to make you happy,” he replied, smiling sadly at me as he brushed the hair from my face. When I looked into his eyes I wanted so badly to forget about the last week, to forget about the things that we had both said and done that caused so much hurt, to kiss him and tell him we would be okay, but I knew if things were to ever improve we would have to have the talk that we had been skirting around – even during our more explosive interactions. And now wasn’t the time.
“Okay then it’s settled,” I responded with a grin as I grabbed the remote from where Tony had left it and hit play to resume the movie.
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